lonesomepine

[lonesomepine]

never not thinking about choosing to become your dead twin btw. taking on his whole dress and appearance and even gender after death. keeping him with you forever by means of partially being him. "I my brother know / yet living in my glass". insane

#I am all my father’s daughters and all the brothers too #YELLLLLSSSSSS #twelfth night

[lonesomepine]

bestie is really out here having an existential crisis in a slutty duke orsino robe

#COME HITHER BOY #shoutout to the pimp robe if you know you know #twelfth night

[lonesomepine]

ive been daydreaming about this since seeing that one chase post SO

[lonesomepine]

Listen, I’m gonna do the Gay Speech(s), but I think there’s interesting evidence that Antonio may have been written specifically as a queer man.

(Possibly).

But he’s my boy and I will fight people to get to play him.

#he’s so gay #he’s my little guy #he’s just a little guy who’s boyfriend of three months dumped him for A Woman #and got arrested protecting said boyfriend #(well. bf’s sister but he didn’t know that) #anyway uh. best wishes for you to play Antonio in the future I am currently and it fucking rocks

[lonesomepine]

Okay, tickets probably wouldn’t have sold so well, but imagine Shakespeare plays with random domestic scenes with minimal dialogue scattered throughout.

Lady Macbeth frantically cleans an entire castle after Duncan invites himself over with no notice.

Hamlet writes his daily to-do list (“avenge dad’s murder” is always at the top)

Kate monitors Hotspur in the kitchen so he doesn’t get distracted yelling about his frustration of the week and accidentally set the place on fire.

Hero & Claudio’s friends set up a wedding, take it down, set up another wedding but with appropriate Mourning Energy, and then realize they built one too few canopies since apparently Beatrice and Benedick are ALSO getting married.

Antonio does his chores on his pirate ship (while imagining his life with Sebastian)

#me personally I would watch the fuck out of this #also montage of antonio cleaning while bumping the shit out of modern pop music interspersed with longing sighs >>>> #(xoxo I am playing antonio currently and this is what my version of him would be doing)

[lonesomepine]

#I have many cross-dressing Shakespeare tales but I gotta shout out my guy Gregory #who I performed as in a dress #but still used he/him #and I am a woman #also big shoutout to half the cast of my current twelfth night production #including a trans guy playing viola #a woman playing Sebastian #and non-binary malvolio

[lonesomepine]

In honor of the Ides of March, my favorite Tiktok

[lonesomepine]

weird unprompted opinion but i think out of all the storytelling mediums.....theatre best portrays loneliness

[lonesomepine]

#also goes for actors who play fictional characters that receive this treatment

[lonesomepine]

"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though

#in the spirit of the my little pony energy this has I feel like this is discord to either twilight or rainbowdash

[lonesomepine]

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

#this was a wild ride #‘if the voice acting was different’ have you heard Josh gad speak lmao

[lonesomepine]

manic pixie dream divorced guy

[lonesomepine]

Hast thou thy morning meds consumed?

Off with ye, then, and do so! (And also should’st thou some water imbibe.)

[lonesomepine]

I can see why someone would worship a tree. Not every tree but some of them tempt me to idolatry. Like... Anyone else get this

#hello mattias helvar

[lonesomepine]

Not to be That Person but isn't being concerned about birth defects ableist?

--

No.

#hiiiiii #this #also I literally cannot express how much I want every person on the planet to read that cut article it’s one of my favs

[lonesomepine]

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

#Sebastian got married to a woman he’d never even seen before in his life just cause she was really passionate about it when she asked #Antonio willingly went to a place where he was wanted for piracy for a cute guy he met an hour ago #orsino proposed to viola fifteen seconds after finding out she was a woman #if you’re not aware I’m in a production of twelfth night at the moment so it’s on the mind #twelfth night

[lonesomepine]

*hurriedly scribbling notes*

#WAKE UP FUCKWEASEL ITS YOUR GIRLFRIEND