live-laugh-slay

[live-laugh-slay]

BOTTOMS (2023)

[live-laugh-slay]

Beau Is Afraid- And So Am I (Major Spoilers)

When the first trailer of Beau Is Afraid (Which I will be referring to simply as Beau) was released it’s safe to say everyone was confused. What was going on in Ari Aster’s third film? What’s it even about? 

It’s about Beau going on a wild odyssey to see his mother… But, this goes without being said, it ends up being about much more than that. 

Beau is Afraid is a film that my little psychology obsessed brain is absolutely in love with. It’s a fascinating experience that one doesn’t just watch, they absorb. The last time I completely delved into a movie the way I did watching this was Blue is The Warmest Colour-or-La Vie D’Adele (See my essay on that one). 

In the first minutes of Beau, you find yourself thrown into a stressful reality. You are set up for a three-hour-long epic. The near-apocalyptic city Beau lives in will make you wonder, is this real or just in his head? Maybe neither. Maybe it just simply is. Beau throws us into Beau’s reality with a simple scene of a group of people trying to convince a man to jump off a building. A dead body in the street. A tattooed MW employee chasing Beau through the streets. 

Beau’s mother Mona is who Beau goes to (other than his therapist) when he wishes for closure. But, she usually does not supply that. In fact, it’s the opposite. Beau’s therapist uses the example of drinking out of well that made you sick, would Beau go back to it? Mona continues to beat Beau down, but he still goes back to her. Why? Why do we as humans do this? 

Speaking of the well, that is our first impression of water being a key factor to Beau. Throughout the entire film, we are surrounded by water. Beau’s nightmare of being in the overflowing bath. Beau’s trip with Mona. Beau sitting on top of a faucet after Mona’s funeral (did you catch that?), but what beats this metaphor’s nail into the coffin is Beau’s drowning at the end of the movie. Water represents Mona. Beau is drowning in Mona’s overbearing control over him. She even is the one who kills him in the end. So, the well being used as a hypothetical device by the therapist makes even more sense thinking of this.

Mona owns everything. She probably owns the Erectus Ejectus too. Everything that Beau goes through is planned thoroughly. The medicine he takes is manufactured by Mona’s company MW. Along with the food he eats; The microwave he owns; the apartment he lives in… The people around him are all employees of Mona’s…

When Beau meets Elaine on the cruise, they bond over a dead man in the pool. Beau has his first kiss with Elaine. At dinner on the ship, Mona asks Beau: “Is that the kind of girl you’re attracted to?”

Mona and Beau lay in bed like a long time married couple would. It’s strange. Mona seems to use Beau as a beacon for love. She didn’t feel love for her husband… I think? I don’t know. We’ll get to the big dick monster. While on the cruise ship, Elaine asks Beau if he’s a virgin. He tells her he has to be. Mona told him that his father died after ejaculating. His dad's dad died the same. And so did his dad's dad's dad. He thought he’d be different, but clearly, nope. Elaine’s mother finds out about Elaine’s love affair with Beau and takes her off the ship. Elaine runs into the room and tells Beau to wait for her. Mona is terrified that Beau had sex with Elaine. She is screaming: “What did you do?!”

When Elaine arrives at the funeral, she’s older, but Beau knows it is her. Elaine realizes that he is Beau and kisses him. He makes it known that he did indeed wait for her. She also ambiguously makes it known she DID NOT wait for him at all. Elaine asks Beau what his life is like. In the script he replies: “Yeah, no, I’m nothing! I’m just here!” Beau is nothing without Mona. He is dehydrated without the simulation she has created for him. 

Beau and Elaine go upstairs to Mona’s room to have sex. And don’t worry, the Mariah Carey album ALWAYS stays on during sex. The funniest part of this scene is when we see Beau’s ginormous prolapsed balls. Also when Elaine restarts the song, expecting Beau to last through it, he finishes with the first stroke. Beau is TERRIFIED of coming. He is almost crying from fright. When he does, Elaine just says (and I’m paraphrasing here) Oh God… I felt that… You broke through that bag. *Insert frightened emoji* Elaine dies. How? I don’t know. But she dies. Who was this? Was it really Elaine? The script gives off the vibe the vibe of no, it’s not Elaine. But the script has evolved SO much from the finished film, like SO much. 

This is the part of the film where Mona’s lie is unraveled. She reveals herself and explains everything to Beau. And now… Now we can talk about the cock monster.

Beau asks Mona how his father really died. Mona brings him to the attic, something he’s been dreaming of the entire film. This is when we realize that premonition wasn’t a nightmare, “it’s a memory!” as Mona yells at Beau. In the attic, Beau sees a version of himself. He is chained down and has a long beard. We hear the growling of the cock monster. "My boy!" The cock monster represents how Mona saw her husband as a big dick and nothing more. Just a vessel to supply her a child... The greatest gift of all. So, she put him in the attic. The version of Beau in the attic is another version of the cock monster. It is also Beau’s father. 

The one thing left to talk about is Grace and Roger. Grace and Roger are employees of MW used in the test. Their daughter Toni is used for an amazing psychological device. Grace, Roger, and Toni are heavily medicated. Toni eats pills like candy. Grace and Roger welcome Beau into their family happily, while Toni is indifferent. Grace, feeling guilt for testing Beau, informs him of a TV channel which documents him. The TV viewing Beau ties back to the feeling of surveillance in Beau’s life. At this point, Toni brings Beau into her deceased brother’s room. She paints Beau’s name in pink paint (color representing femininity) and throws it at him to drink. He refuses to drink the paint. Toni calls him a “pussy f****t” and chugs the baby blue pink (representing masculinity). Toni dies and Grace turns on Beau. This grows further Beau’s guilt. Beau’s guilt grows more and more just like his ginormous balls.

One does not solve Beau is Afraid. The film is subjective to everyone who views it. It hits hard for some and barely scratches the surface for others. In fact, my review also barely scratched the surface of this masterpiece. Beau is Afraid is one of the best movies of 2023. There may never be another film like it. At least not for a long time. There is so much more I could talk about (including that play scene) but I think the motifs I covered are enough.

#beau is afraid #ari aster #a24 #movie review #movie analysis

[live-laugh-slay]

'Blue Is The Warmest Color' And The Effect It Has On Me (Spoilers)

Before I can talk about the film that shaped who I am today, I have to talk about where I'm at. I found myself stuck in an identity crisis at the ripe age of seven. I was different than the other boys at school. I didn't like sports. I walked differently. I talked differently. My friends were all girls. I spiraled between being gay and bisexual. Afterall, I still liked girls. I never had a REAL crush on a guy. I spent years of my life believing I was bisexual. I met my best friend, who I admittedly forced myself to have a crush on at first. I realized she wanted me as a friend and that's what I wanted too. She introduced me to the boy who made me realize I was gay. The boy I still like as I'm writing this. Now that you know that here's the effect the film 'Blue Is The Warmest Color' has on me.

The film starts out with Adele being lost with herself. She's a confused high school girl going through those high school feels. Her classmates are bored out of their minds to the subject of 'The Life Of Marianne' (the book they read in class) Adele is amazed by the book and finds it to be brilliant. Adele is a character we all may be or at least see. She's a kindhearted girl who can't seem to figure out who she is. She ends up going on a date with a guy her friend's think she likes (and maybe she did like him) While walking to the date, Adele sees the blue haired light that is Emma. Adele is immediately in love with Emma. The beautiful blue hair shines in the grey world she seems to be stuck in.

After nearly getting hit by a car, Adele goes on her date. It goes well. Adele, trying to convince to her friends (but more herself) that she's straight, sleeps with him. The sex isn't as good as Adele clearly lets on. She ends up breaking up with the guy but feels equal emotions as he does.

In sadness, Adele is brought out with her best friend. He brings her to a gay bar. She feels out of place, so she sneaks out into a lesbian bar. There, she sees blue. Emma and she make small conversation that is rudely cut off by Emma's friends. Before Emma leaves though, she asks Adele what school she goes to.

The next day, Adele sees Emma waiting for her. With sideways glances from her classmates, Adele follows Emma. Emma makes a portrait of Adele. She's a very gifted artist, good at people.

Adele is scrutinized by her friends for going off with Emma. They call her slurs and mock her.

At this point, it's time for me to address the elephant in the room. The sex scenes. I actually despise them. The only one I don't skip on my rewatches is the last. It has a reason to be in the film, as it leads into a heart renching and adorable conversation. But the nine-minute-long scene is truly unneeded and dampens the film for me just a tad. It's still one of my favorites though.

After the sex scene Adele goes to a pride parade with Emma and meets her parents that night. Adele feels welcome with her parents. She's not out to her parent's yet, so she feels at home.

The scene I'm about to discuss may be my favorite of all time. It's the birthday party scene. Adele's eighteenth birthday is celebrated by her parents and her REAL friends. It's a beautiful scene. Adele dances with her friends to one of my favorite songs 'I Follow Rivers.' That's another thing about this film, the soundtrack is amazing.

The second part of the film is what I love about it. It's truly what cements the film as one of my favorites. It's about letting go and realizing love's growing pains. Love is a beautiful thing, but what about when it ends? Adele and Emma's relationship eventually comes to a violent end after Adele (and maybe Emma) cheats. Emma has been spending a lot of time with a co-artist. Adele feels alone. At this point they've been together for years. Adele only wants to be with Emma, which makes her feel lonely when without her.

We see Adele struggle to get over Emma. She follows her dreams and becomes a teacher, a good one at that. But the breakup makes it hard to keep a happy face on. Adele goes through many phases of grief. Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression (realization), testing (calling Emma to see her), and acceptance. Acceptance being the scene where she walks away from Emma's art show.

Adele is a character I relate to in every way. She's confused, scared, and at the end of the day a good person. She has problems that not many people around her go through, which scares her. She loves Emma, but she expected Emma to love her forever. I'm an emotional wreck watching the film. I tell my friends about how this film affected me nearly daily. It left me in dishevels. I put myself back together and went to bed, depressed, but proud that I found a film that truly affected me... FINALLY. The film casts a spell on me. A spell of love and immersion. At the end of the film, you feel just as in love with Emma as Adele was. Which makes the ending even sadder.

#blue is the warmest color #movie review