litlalein

[litlalein]

i want someone to take me to the county fair where i get lots of ribbons for things like “best wool” and “good at jumping” 

this should be me, the Marshall Zhukov of sheep.  

#I'm sorry I'm just ranting in the tags of some posts #this is a funny one though #and kinda a fit #cause he somehow just has the best opinion of me #so ofc he just messaged me as i was being back on here #like rly being behing making plans (when the last time around i felt he was kinda avoiding me on that) #and yeah i guess there's no sneaking around required cause he's just straight out invited me to sneak into his class tomorrow #so i also can second hand ask him all the pressing questions of my whole cohort #cause our uni is so sht haha

[litlalein]

Sharon Olds, from "Something Is Happening", One Secret Thing: Poems

#Ok guess I'm back and this will be a ltl rant in the tags cause this honestly (all this rly) came a bit as a surprise #So first surprising thing I remain overseas but in this country can access my email which i'm using for this tumblr (had to make a new one #omg the amount of time i spent on there) #yeah so i am currently sitting in a library i have spent many hours in (and already don't want to leave) and am re-writing a paper I am #gonna present in 10 days which I honestly wasn't even that excited abt up until my nicest lunch date yesterday #so it's been a ltl while but I've been all back fangirling over this prof I've been into a few yrs ago when I last was on this blog #and after having told my whole cohort all abt him and reading like everything he ever published #i actually got in touch with him originally just saying what I've been saying non-stop since we met (how amazin he is and i love everything #abt him) rly trying to keep my expectations low #like i was gonna be so happy abt any sort of reply #well...long story short we've kinda been texting since and he *is* the sweetest human being there is #and I just had to come visit him over my break and we had lunch yesterday and it was so nice #like I still don't rly get why he likes to spend time with me but he says he does so I'm both hoping time until the weekend flies so I can #see him again and need to finish this paper until then and then of course make this a presentation cause he was instantly like he's gonna be #there when again i was just keeping my expectations low cause i know how busy he is and i my brain cannot focus on this paper #so I am sitting here literally in the same fckn building working basically on the same topic and being super smart by putting all this on #tumblr cause privacy?!?! #I should also stress that this is strictly platonic!! #also Julia the one other thing I'm in my head about is how I can possibly get back to you after having ditched you in a rl sht way #and without making it seem like I only ever get in contact when *i* have smth to get off my chest (honestly might be it though not #on purpose) so we'll see if this stays up here #because I am actually in a much better place rn AND clearly have become quite alright regularly messaging someone a few timezones away

[litlalein]

[litlalein]

by daixykaren

[litlalein]

hella’s valentine’s day countdown

➥ 6. lisbon & jane from the mentalist

Would you be surprised if I said I loved you?

#Wondering if having previously liked pike a bit better would have had me react differently 🤔 #Then again my distrust doesn't rly stem from his looks #In fact pre brs and defending cp and this one rly weird obj he tried raising I sure did lean towards liking him 😅

[litlalein]

staunchly against toddlers being given phones. stop that. give them little stuffed animals to play pretend with. fucking talk to them for a second even. stop giving them your phone. stop giving kids phones and ipads. stop it.

#Cp know's this would've other advantages as well

[litlalein]

#Constance his porch?

[litlalein]

Back to that language class essay. I threw out the TC idea last minute, also because my language skills didn't rly allow to make it interesting enough. And my new crush, who's not a teacher (how dare I 😅), but an older woman to say the least (who I'll also very clearly never be involved with), has been doing one thing I've had sleepless nights abt rly, cause it just doesn't make sense, and no one can change her mind abt it. So I decided I'd dedicate that story to this issue, and the solution I've been working on quietly, though will probs never be implemented 😢 AND just got results back, and for the first time my teacher actually liked the content of what I submitted 😇

It would probs not reach her, but honestly I feel like I should post a copy of that to her, too bad she's not proficient in the language I'm learning rn..

Also, I'm so proud I'm fancying a woman again, finally!

#Xw

[litlalein]

For a language course I’m doing this Sem I’m currently working on writing “a story”, which is smth I’m rly bad at (all I ever write abt is either my future, my TC or my complaints - non of which I wanna throw at my teacher, not since anonymous marking isn’t smth my uni does). Frankly I don’t rly have time to spend too much time on that so I thought, why not disguise it a bit and just take my TC story up for that...

I just finished my fst draft, which also is at least twice the word limit, and must say, the disguising didn’t work quite as well, in fact the only thing I didn’t give away is where he’s teaching rn (plus I obv didn’t use either of our names haha). At least that doesn’t include any sexual or romantic, though that might actually make it more interesting to read... The major thing I’m still considering to change is making him a her, though I’m not sure my teacher rly doesn’t have any homophobia to be triggered, and surely she’d take smth of that as a self-confession, which I’d be cool with normally, though having someone judge me through the screen, I’d rather avoid that.

#tc #teacher crush #professor crush #tf

[litlalein]

“I love sarcastic people with high vocabularies”

— me omg (via liebeficktunsalle)

#What he is #!!!!!!!!!! #Also what I'm failing to be because I've not been talking to anyone for so long no one get's my even weirder sense of humour anymore #Cause also no one knows what I've been obsessing over the past year basically 😢

[litlalein]

twitter: @mundodeseriess

like/reblog this post if you save.

[litlalein]

“It has made me better, loving you.”

— Henry James / The Portrait of a Lady

#Can i just say YES! #Xw #Tf #Both of you rly!

[litlalein]

I'm

Remember all those promo pics that made it look like Mulder and Scully were going to the prom?

[litlalein]

[litlalein]

“It eventually gets better, without any sort of explanation; you just wake up one morning and you’re not as upset anymore.”

— Ten words story: may 2015 hold that morning for you. (via maisjetaime)

#Tru it seems #Dec 23 2020 #Tf

[litlalein]

feelings at night just hit different

#Ok that's a good one #I'm here for an update #And I wanna say that this might well only be somewhat an extrem to the other end so I'm certainly considering some reverting at a later time #But for the past few days I've rly taken a break from my professor crush #Yeay well I didn't think that day would come either #Though for some perspective that obviously was after I've been extreeemely busy last week and still am much sleep deprived #So that might actually be part of the reason #Anyways because there's not rly any human interaction possible over here what I did and what ultimately got me away from him #Was obsessing or fangirling over someone else #Which is both great because there's finally some female inspiration added to my life #Plus somewhat official boundaries with heaps of her available #While on the other hand this seems to confirm that i rly for the rest of my life be admiring ppl from afar yeay #Also what is great (not rly I'm just joking) is how I've been trying to schedule my life for the next few years #As to include some sort of sustainable interaction with my prof #Something that mostly for funding reasons has been giving me hours of headache #Now while getting over him on its face will let me file all those crazy plans #HOWEVER it doesn't because I still aspire to go overseas and to make that not just anspiring and personally rewarding #One of the things that would make quite some sense to do as a part of that is in fact to go back to his uni and learn some more from him 🤯 #I guess that also confirms how it rly would be beneficial to develop any sort of (professional I should stress!) relationship with him #Thx for nothing... #I'l just put this out here again: anyone wanna fund me? 🙄🙈 #Tf #Xw

[litlalein]

i want:

a new tattoo.

to be kissed.

to not be nervous about my future.