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lightandfellowship · 15 hours

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@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).

I was thinking about making a separate post to expand on those tags anyway because they were a little off topic to the op, but I was like, you know, it's that Xehanort was worse to the Dandelions than Luxu was, yes. But Luxu was supposed to be that callous to the Dandelions in the first place. He was supposed to think of them as tools and to just let whatever fucked up thing was supposed to happen to them just happen. And with anyone else he can, but he can't put his personal feelings aside enough to 'do what needs to be done' for this set of people alone.

But Xehanort can.

And I think that's really interesting when looking at Xehanort as the 'replacement Luxu.' Xehanort who, as observed by another post I don't have immediately to hand, speaks with MoM twice. Xehanort who is chosen by MoM and manipulated into doing his bidding the same way Luxu was, given the same coat and made the heir to Luxu's keyblade, Xehanort who actually is allowed to take action to bring the Keyblade War about and revive the Lost Masters while Luxu is only allowed to watch.

Actually I started this post with a different thesis ('Xehanort is able to put his personal feelings aside and be ruthless even where Luxu fails to follow his role') but writing that paragraph I've changed my mind actually. Because Luxu has basically no agency in this situation, whereas Xehanort does.

Like, both of them are assigned roles by their mentors but Xehanort isn't really given a road map about how to fulfill his role. He's being manipulated, sure, but he's also making choices himself all along. They're choices that are fucked up but he understands they're fucked up and is choosing them anyway because he strongly feels it's necessary for the greater good.

Luxu has been told these things are necessary for the greater good. He's been told what to do. He's been told to just watch and that he can never take action. He doesn't even have the illusion of agency that Xehanort, who is actively choosing to lean into his feeling that destiny is inevitable, does. What is that like, to live hundreds of years never having any sense of agency? For Luxu, helping the Dandelions is fucking up. It's doing what he knows he's not supposed to, what he's been told is against the Plan, but he has no agency and this is his little way of rebelling, even if this is, to us, the 'right' thing to do. There's a question of what actually is 'right' and 'wrong' here and whether Xehanort is a 'better Luxu' than Luxu for choosing to simply follow The Plan.

Also I'm rambling here but putting things together as I go, sorry to also expand on other tags on posts I reblogged from you lol, but like. Luxu also very clearly has Lucifer stuff going on, the same way Xehanort does, down to the name. Xehanort takes on the Satan imagery over time - but it was Luxu's first. And Luxu is the one who actually tried to rebel against his Creator by deviating from his role (only to watch) and intervening with the Union leaders.

The thing about angels is they are not, in Catholic traditions (I can't speak to other denominations) is that they are not supposed to have free will. Free will is for humans; angels only follow The Plan, with no agency or say in the matter. They're messengers and avatars created only to execute the will of God. The Foretellers seem to play this role, if you will, in relation to Master of Masters. He hands them roles to execute the plan he's already designed. If we're, in this analogy, considering Master of Masters to be in the role of 'god', both Ava and Luxu are ultimately fallen angels - they both question the will of their creator, both rebel - but Luxu rebelling was built into the plan. He is Lucifer, and Lucifer rebels, and so he was still allowed to come back to the fold at the end of kh3, having fulfilled his duty even considering his rebellion. He still had no agency in the end, even having done what he thought was exercising it by saving the Union leaders.

Anyway I'm just rambling on at this point and don't really have a conclusion to this but the whole interplay between Luxu and Xehanort, agency and servitude, angels and devils, light and dark, feels really compelling to me.

#other people's meta #No worries! I like being @ed with additions #And. Wow that's really clever #I can fully believe that was the intent since Xion also has one of those names with like five different layers of meaning to it #Not to mention Xigbar's love for punny names. Turns out he has one himself.#Oh I just realized you edited the post saying basically just that haha #Or I didn't see it not sure #long post

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lightandfellowship · 15 hours

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@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).

But Xehanort can.

#other people's meta #This is all so good that I basically have very little to add apart from nodding my head vigorously #But I gotta say: my mind was BLOWN when you said Luxu and Lucifer have similar sounding names because HOLY SHIT they /do/#(At least the first part of their name)#And when you compare the MoM and Luxu to God and an angel...the similarities are so much #I've always felt the KH mobile games in particular had A Lot of religious stuff going on compared to the other games #(Seven deadly sins; a lifeboat (ark); a great flood; etc.)#But this really puts into perspective that like...yeah actually!

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lightandfellowship · 16 hours

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Tags by user isan0rt:

#I also think it's fascinating that the only people Luxu seems to genuinely care about enough to intervene when he's not supposed to #Are the Dandelion union leaders #Like he takes no action to save any of the Dark Road kids even though he could but he still AFTER that fact frees Subject X #And like. The parallels with Xehanort who also spends his whole life caring so much about the Dandelion union leaders #Continuing to look for them after the Dark Road friend party slaughter. Even given what he ultimately does to them. #IDK the parallels are there and so are the contrasts.

In a way.....Luxu is telling the truth. He wants to do what's right by defeating darkness, so he follows the Master's plan. It's not really moral, but it is what he considers right. And even with that, Luxu occasionally does show instances of defying the Master's orders, such as with Brain, the True Dandelion (Strelitzia), and Skuld, giving them another chance to live.

#other people's meta #WAUUGHHH #But also /Luxu/ of all ppl somehow managing to treat the Dandelions better than Xehanort did is so funny/sad #Xehanort you really fucked up

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lightandfellowship · 17 hours

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[ KH4 spoilers ]

Waaaait a minute. In Melody of Memory Apprenticenort implies that Kairi's lifeboat pod might accidentally send her to unreality instead of to its intended destination (a Keyblade wielder).

If Strelitzia (a data version of her maybe?) is the true Dandelion who got put into that lifeboat pod by Luxu, is that how she arrived to Quadratum in KH4?

I wonder if that was the intention, or if it was a mistake and she was simply supposed to arrive to the future like the rest of the Dandelions, not get sent to a completely different reality.

#rambling about kh

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lightandfellowship · 17 hours

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#making kh photosets #Fellow plays 3 #I'm sure this one has been pointed out before #Also I'm pretty sure most ppl agree the true Dandelion is Strel so this is nothing new but. The Rapunzel Strel parallels in this world...#Might be a hint...

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lightandfellowship · 19 hours

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캣 인상

#other people's art

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lightandfellowship · 19 hours

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How am I supposed to function normally when this dude torments me with his existence

#other people's art

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lightandfellowship · 20 hours

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I've kinda taken it for granted that Keyblade wielders can summon their Keyblades back into their hand, but I wonder if you can only do that if your Keyblade is located in the same realm as you.

Because Aqua loses Master's Defender (at the end of 0.2, I think? It's a little unclear) and then it ended up on Destiny Islands in the Realm of Light, where Sora later picks it up. And canonically she had truly lost it, no way to summon it back and thus had no Keyblade to defend herself with in the Realm of Darkness, leading to Ansem SoD besting her in battle and tossing her into the watery depths of the Dark Margin.

#rambling about kh #Fellow plays 3

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lightandfellowship · 21 hours

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While I don't think that "trying to reclaim his lost strength + figure out a way to unlock the Power of Waking" is, like, the worst premise for a console-game Sora journey, I still can't help but feel that it's not quite as impactful as the more personal/emotional premises of KH1 and KH2, where the goal of his search was to reunite with his best friends.

It also doesn't help that the "Power of Waking" is loosely defined and kind of nebulous, making it difficult to tell when/if any progress is being made towards that goal (the pattern seems to be: "Sora, did you find the power of waking yet?" "No." "Okay. Keep looking", rinse and repeat until the end of the game.)

I think instead I would've liked KH3's focus to be more on the "figuring out how to bring back Roxas, Xion, Namine, Terra, Ventus, and Aqua" part. The very beginning of KH3 sets this up for Sora when he's visiting Twilight Town in search of clues for how to bring Roxas back, but then over time Sora's journey drifts from that goal as Mickey + Riku, Hayner + Pence + Olette, and Ienzo + the Radiant Garden Crew do a lot of the heavy lifting elsewhere while Sora explores the worlds.

(Side note: I've said this before, but to be clear: I don't think the Disney worlds were pointless to Sora's journey, I do believe they were important to Sora figuring out how to call upon the Power of Waking.)

I guess what I mean is, I just wish Sora got the opportunity to be more directly involved in every aspect of their return (including the more logistical stuff), instead of being sidelined for a lot of it. It would also do wonders for making KH3's basic premise feel more meaningful to the player, as you'd be taking more direct and frequent steps toward bringing back your favorite characters.

#rambling about kh #Fellow plays 3

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lightandfellowship · 22 hours

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#other people's meta

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lightandfellowship · 22 hours

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white haired anime boy moment <3 (11 dead, 2 injured)

#other people's art

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lightandfellowship · 22 hours

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I could play the part, if you like

#other people's art

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lightandfellowship · 23 hours

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Y'all know what I like doing by now. That's right: commentary and overexplaining.

Sometimes, Xehanort just...sits.

When I started writing this in a sudden burst of inspiration after getting Starlight's ask, at first I didn't consciously choose to write it in present tense. In fact I usually prefer past tense. However it ended up working out in the end. One of the themes of this oneshot is Xehanort trying and failing to focus on the present while ignoring the tragedy and attachments of his past. So for the most part he thinks and acts in present tense throughout the fic...until he starts unintentionally reminiscing and naturally transitions into past tense.

To go along with the title of the game (Dark Road) I incorporated a metaphor about walking vs resting. Walking represents moving forward, not looking back, focusing on your destination/the future, constantly making progress towards a goal, not allowing yourself time to rest and be vulnerable, etc. Resting of course represents the opposite of all those things: reflecting on the past, focusing on yourself, admitting when you're tired and weak, etc.

Eventually, the skin hardens, and the sharp edge of spite, the biting chill of indifference, and the scorching heat of animosity become—for the most part—bearable.

I specifically chose sensations that you would feel if you were walking barefoot out in nature. A sharp rock embedding itself into your foot, an icy cold stream numbing your feet, sun-baked ground burning you with every step.

I was also inspired by user corishadowfang here, because in their fic Fool's Gold they tend to describe Xehanort's empathy powers in a very tangible/tactile way, and I really like that.

The resemblance is striking, he thinks. No, not their appearance, for every time Xehanort has run into them in this place, their face has, without fail, been obscured by the hood of their favorite blue cloak.

To provide a reason for why Player is seen wearing that cloak so much. They live on a tropical island and they're wearing that? Perhaps it holds some sort of special meaning for them.

I just really like the idea that an empath can correctly identify a person through their emotions alone, as if each person's emotions are a unique fingerprint.

And I suppose this is obvious, but the Player spirit Xehanort frequently sees in the dark corridors is always a manifestation of some dark emotion Player experienced in life, thus all the listed emotions being negative.

Rhythmic waves of emotion imitating the heartbeat that he used to know so well, that used to lull him to sleep every night as a baby. Used to. Use—yes. He utilizes these dark corridors so often now.

This is Xehanort catching himself reminiscing about something sad (a precious experience that is now out of his reach forever) and then turning the sentence around to be about something else (something objective and unemotional), essentially changing the subject. (He even switches from "use" to "utilize" for that extra layer of separation from the first thought.) As I mentioned before, he transitions from past tense back into present tense.

(Does "used to" count as past tense? Actually I'm not sure now.)

It would be foolish not to take advantage of all the benefits such travel provided, so of course that's why he's gotten into the habit of using the dark corridors whenever he can. For efficiency, and for proving the strength of his heart. No other reason, really.

He's lying, of course (he also uses the dark corridors in order to encounter...)

But sometimes he doesn't pass through the corridors with the swift, purposeful pace that he ought to. Sometimes, he loiters, peering into the turbulent darkness as if looking for someone. He waits, in those halls that should not be traversed by the living.

Continuation of the walking vs. resting metaphor, Xehanort is starting to falter in his ability to distance himself from emotions and attachments and finds himself frequently loitering in the corridor instead of going straight to his intended destination.

All at once, the pain he was so masterfully ignoring up until this point hits him in full force: the rapid, uncontrolled beating of his heart; the bone-deep ache in his legs; the soreness of his feet; the lightheadedness and stinging intakes of air that follow running out of breath.

Again, for the sake of the metaphor all the listed "ailments" are things you would feel after running non-stop until you couldn't take it anymore.

The rough skin of his heart had finally fractured under the strain of the corridor, and the darkness that flows into the cracks feels like water rushing into his lungs.

The darkness = water metaphor of the series, y'all know how it is.

His arm shaking, he desperately tries to grip the hand of the only parent he's ever known (known, but not the only parent he's ever loved) to steady himself, but his own hand passes right through.

He's just been calling Player his "mentor" throughout the fic, emotionally distancing himself from them, but now he finally admits that Player is like a parent to him.

And, for once on this seemingly never-ending journey of his, he just sits.

Why do I say "for once" when the fic established earlier that he's sat down in the dark corridors before multiple times by now?

It's more figurative this time around. Those other times weren't true instances of "sitting" because he hadn't yet fully given himself over to rest and vulnerability. But in this instance, in immense physical and emotional pain, he finally has no choice but to stop, lie down, and grapple with the grief over Player's death that he's been ignoring for so long.

The "just" in "just sits" that's repeated throughout the fic is important as well...Xehanort has all of these grand, noble goals that he wants to accomplish, but in the end he's just sitting. Something so mundane and inconsequential, an act that benefits only his rest and doesn't contribute to anything "important".

A Single Step

(A short Xehanort fic inspired by this ask @starlightwayfinder sent to me.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sometimes, Xehanort just...sits.

That strange (and frankly, highly suspicious) man he had met while preparing for his Mark of Mastery exam had been right, in the end: after some time, Xehanort didn't need to wear the black coat inside the dark corridors anymore.

Repeated exposure to the dense darkness within these corridors had strengthened Xehanort's heart and toughened it, much like how repeated exposure to the elements toughen the bottom of your feet after walking barefoot for miles and miles. Eventually, the skin hardens, and the sharp edge of spite, the biting chill of indifference, and the scorching heat of animosity become—for the most part—bearable. Nothing can stop you from making any trek, no matter how perilous the terrain may be.

He no longer required the protection of the coat, and sometimes, he just sits within the depths of the dark corridor. Waiting.

It doesn't usually take too long for "it" to appear.

The afterimage of his mentor.

He doesn't really know what the afterimage is, exactly. Oh, he has theories, sure, based on his own observations and what he was taught in school. But no true way to test those theories. And in any case, he doesn't particularly care about the specifics—not now, anyway.

The emotions are different each time (he recalls them with ease, as if they were engraved upon his own heart: guilt, doubt, pity, grief), but he recognizes them as belonging to his mentor all the same. It's them, somehow. Were it not for the figure's ghostly translucence betraying their true nature, Xehanort could almost swear that his mentor was standing right next to him again, alive. Rhythmic waves of emotion imitating the heartbeat that he used to know so well, that used to lull him to sleep every night as a baby.

Used to.

Use—yes. He utilizes these dark corridors so frequently now. A journey of hundreds of thousands of miles, reduced to nothing more than a brief stroll. A method of travel that is quick, convenient, and covert. It would be foolish not to take advantage of all the benefits such travel provided, so of course that's why he's gotten into the habit of using the dark corridors whenever he can. For efficiency, and for proving the strength of his heart. No other reason, really.

And he just sits.

Finally, a figure coalesces several feet ahead of him. He's so used to it by now, and yet he can't help but draw in a sharp breath at the sight of it.

His mentor. Or something close to them.

Close enough.

Xehanort gets on his feet, and slowly inches his way towards the apparition. He's encountered it several times already, but has always kept a safe distance away. Today, however, will be different; today, he will indulge his curiosity.

The spirit remains perfectly still as Xehanort approaches. It doesn't react, doesn't turn to look at him, doesn't seem to notice him at all. He may as well not exist.

He's only a couple of feet away from the spirit when suddenly, something inside of him shatters. His knees buckle on their own from the shock, and he crumples to the floor without meaning to.

The rough skin of his heart had finally fractured under the strain of the corridor, and the darkness that flows into the cracks feels like water rushing into his lungs.

He doesn't know what caused his heart to falter like this. Was this the spirit's doing, somehow? But the pain is so relentless, so overwhelming, that he can't focus long enough to consider the possibilities.

Endure it. Keep going.

His arm shaking, he desperately tries to grip the hand of the only parent he's ever known (known, but not the only parent he's ever loved) to steady himself, but his own hand passes right through.

He knows this will happen. He knew this would happen. But a pained sob escapes his throat regardless when he fails to make contact, soft and broken and child-like and utterly drowned out by the sea of unintelligible whispers surging all around him.

Trying to stand up in this state would be a futile effort, he realizes. Instead, he crawls the final few inches to his intended destination and collapses, curling up next to the memory of someone long gone.

And, for once on this seemingly never-ending journey of his,

he just

sits.

#making kh art #ch tag: xeh

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