“So. It appears Warlock’s is best subject is Mathematics.”
“Maths?”
“Maths.”
“…We’re so screwed.”
Ineffable tutors commiserating over Warlock’s tendency towards maths
Anyone walks in, and the one with sleight of hand practice is in charge of yeeting the flask, and the fireproof one for inhaling the cig stub. You’d think having miraculous abilities would make this easy, but they’re terrible at it.
People look away out of sympathy to give them a mo. .
Crowley and Aziraphale finally found their happiness together, they set up home together and managed to start a family. One cold winter evening the miracle had arrived. 3 little angels.
The city had become too big and chaotic so for the summer months they decided to buy a cottage overlooking the beach.
Every now and then their friends visited the demon and the angel, including Gabriel and Beelzebub. A few years passed from the sight of the two, until one summer morning they showed up at the door to give a surprise.
Aziraphale: "But what an unexpected pleasure, please come in. I just put on the tea."
Gabriele: "Well I must say that you have worked hard in recent years."
Beelzebub: "Gabriel, don't be pushy."
Crowley: "You know how archangels are, always sticking their noses where they shouldn't."
Aziraphale: "Crowley, don't be rude to the guests. Why don't you take a nice walk on the beach?"
Crowley: "Do I have to, angel?"
Aziraphale: "Go!"
Crowley took the children and the two guests out showing all the beach they had available for those 3 months. Obviously, it was all private property. While they were walking, Gabriele brought up a somewhat thorny topic for Crowley
Gabriele: "You know Crowley, it's strange."
Beelzebub: "Come on, leave it alone. These are none of our business!"
Crowley: "No, I want to hear what he has to say. What's strange, Gabriel?"
Gabriele: "Well her two brothers look a lot like Aziraphale while your daughter looks a lot more like a.."
Crowley: "An angel! She look like an angel, okay?"
Gabriele: "Oh come on, you can't help but see it yourself, she's a lot more like you, Crowley."
Crowley: "Gabriel listen to me carefully, I don't want her to feel different in any way..."
Beelzebub: "But Crowley, she's different and it's okay with that, believe me."
Crowley: "Please, you know better than me what it means, it hurts to feel different and no one knows it better than us demons. I prefer that she feel the same as her brothers. She may seem like a demon but Aziraphale and I want her to grow up like an angel."
*a tongue of fire appears across the beach*
Crowley: "Oh shit."
Beelzebub:"*irony*Growing up like an angel, right?"
Gabriele: "*puts a hand on Crowley's shoulder* You've got a lot to work with, old demon."
It makes me sad too. I'm sorry Aziraphale that I spend hours trying to draw you properly and just can't get everyone happy. I hope you can forgive me. I am simply unworthy of you.