kit-walk3r

[kit-walk3r]

Why the Internet Shouldn’t Just Forgive Emma Roberts

(This is going to be such a long post, I do apologise in advance)

So, some of you might have seen that transgender actress Angelica Ross (Pose, 1984, Double Feature) made several tweets a couple of days ago detailing ongoing issues she had with Ryan Murphy. In addition to this she also tweeted that someone had been transphobic to her on the set of American Horror Story.

Will also tell you about the transphobic remarks my co-star said to my face, and the racism I complained about on set that they said was “free speech”.

There was a lot of speculation as to who the co-star was who made these transphobic remarks, and Emma Roberts’ name was one that popped up a lot (especially since Angelica tweeted a gif of Julia Roberts, Emma’s aunt, after posting about a transphobic co-star). Angelica then revealed on an Instagram livestream last night/this morning that it was in fact Emma who made the transphobic remarks. Here’s what Angelica stated what Emma said:

… And John [the director] is like ‘okay ladies, that’s enough. Let’s get back to work.’ And she then looks at me and she goes ‘don’t you mean lady?’

This is very clearly a transphobic comment, especially from Emma’s reaction/what she does afterwards (Angelica said that she covered her face and turned away).

It was pointed out on twitter from a clip of Angelica, Billie Lourd, Cody Fern and Gus Kenworthy reacting to the premiere of AHS 1984 that there had been transphobic behaviour on set.

Angelica: we are watching for all the transphobia on set.

Billie: always

Angelica: me and Billie are like ‘that’s transphobia’!

Angelica and Billie: we will come for you (in the nicest way)

So from just this clip it is said/suggested that there had been transphobic behaviour on set. There’s also one person notably absent here: Emma. They claimed they were watching the premiere together ‘as a family’ but admittedly the highest billed star is absent. Either Cody or Gus go “where’s Emma?” And laugh afterwards at one point, too.

This leads on to another thing Angelica touched up on in her livestream: Emma’s behaviour and relationship to the rest of the cast and crew. One thing Angelica said was that the first thing she saw Emma do was yell at the director, supposedly trying to make him cry. Angelica follows that by saying Emma always had to make sure that she was ‘number one on the call sheet’ and that she was the one in charge, including making sure her trailer was where she wanted it. This is already toxic behaviour. Moving on from that, Angelica starts talking about Emma’s relationship with the cast. It sounds like from what was said on the livestream that people weren’t very fond of Emma on set. She said she was playing ‘psychological games’ with them and that people supposedly wanted to fight her because of her behaviour. Doesn’t look very good on you if your co-stars aren’t fond of your presence, does it?

Angelica tells a story about how Emma asked them all how much they were earning that season. No one really answered her so she ended the conversation with “as long as you’re not earning over $100,000 per episode” and walked off. So from this and the earlier comment about her wanting to be top billed it’s clear that Emma wanted to be the most important person there and would not have been happy if someone was earning more money than her. Entitlement and selfishness. Even though she has always come from a famous and wealthy family she still seems to need to make sure she earns the most money and is the most famous and popular. But she’s also boasting. $100,000 is a lot of money to earn per episode and chances are her other co-stars (who may have needed that money more than Emma) are not earning that much. She’s boasting and wants people to know how much she’s making from the show. There’s no need but she’s doing it anyway.

Phew. That’s the stuff about the 1984 drama from Angelica’s livestream. But there’s one more thing from that livestream that I want to touch up on. Something that disturbed me. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be a clip of this but I’ve heard multiple people (including the person who originally posted the videos) say that Angelica revealed that Emma would laugh and make jokes about getting arrested for hurting her then boyfriend, Evan Peters.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Emma would joke about her domestic abuse arrest.

This is disgusting behaviour, and apparently her own mother questioned why she was bringing it up and joking about it. Domestic abuse is not a joke and making light of the time when you were arrested for hurting your partner is not a right.

So yeah, if you weren’t aware in 2013 Emma was arrested for domestic violence against Evan after their neighbours in a hotel called the police after hearing loud arguing. Evan was found with a bloody nose and a bite mark and Emma was arrested. Evan didn’t press charges and Emma was released a few hours later.

After the news came out Emma’s PR team (‘sources close to Emma’ TMZ calls them) said that they were both hitting each other and that the only reason Emma was arrested was because she had no visible injuries. They also declined that Evan had a bite mark, which was something that had actually prior been confirmed by the police in a statement. This might just be speculation but doesn’t this sound a little like damage control? Denying injuries that the police stated Evan had and claiming they were both hitting each other sounds like a way of trying to push the blame off Emma as much as they could. Just saying 🤷‍♀️

(There’s a tweet of the infamous Evan hugging Emma whilst she’s crying photos which has zoomed in and highlighted what could be other injuries/bruises on Evan. It’s interesting to look at).

Yes, there’s the bruises on Emma’s legs and according to a lot of Emma fans that’s enough proof that Evan was supposedly the instigator and Emma was the victim. I’m not saying that the bruises on her knees are not from the altercation, just that it’s a lot easier to bruise your knees in everyday life than it is to get a bloody nose and bite mark and that this is not the conclusive evidence that Evan was the instigator that a lot of fans make it out to be.

This part is more a complaint about Emma’s fans as opposed to Emma herself but it’s still about her domestic violence arrest so it’s fitting to include it. There’s a lot of lies/misinformation that gets spread around about the DV situation. People on twitter claim that they’ve seen the police report and that it said Emma was defending herself. This is false. No police report has ever been accessed. People say that Evan started it. This is false. There is no evidence that Evan started the physical altercation but since he was the one found bloody it points more in the direction of Emma being the instigator. People say that they were both abusive. Mutual abuse is not a thing. But by saying that they were hitting/abusing each other then you’re still claiming that Emma abused Evan, so where’s her ‘cancellation’? People say that Evan can’t be a victim of domestic violence because he’s a man and taller/bigger than Emma. This is false. Extremely false. Men can be victims of domestic violence too, even at the hands of women. Just because Evan is taller and has a bigger build than Emma does not mean that she can’t physically hurt him. She clearly has. Men can be hurt by women. Don’t minimise their experiences.

I wish I could say that the 2013 arrest was the only physical/abusive story in relation to Emma but unfortunately there is (potentially) more. Blind items are essentially pieces of information that are submitted to gossip sites whilst keeping the identities of the celebrities they’re about anonymous (but it’s usually kind of obvious to guess who they’re about). There have been many blind items about Emma and Evan’s relationship and sadly some are violent. One states that she threw a glass at his head (you can see his maybe shaved head here) and another says that he woke up to her pacing the bedroom with a knife. There’s others about the two of them where they’re not violent but still show Evan being mistreated in their relationship and there’s also a fair few about her sleeping with James Franco whilst in a relationship with Evan. You can find a list of all Emma blind items here. Yeah, blind items should be taken with a pinch of salt but the large amount of blind items about Emma and her treatment towards Evan is concerning and kind of speaks for itself.

So, we’ve covered that Emma was transphobic to her transgender cast member, rude to the rest of her cast and abusive towards her ex boyfriend. What else?

There’s how she treats regular members of the public. There’s horror stories all over the internet of people’s interactions with Emma. Baristas and hospitality workers have some of the worst stories, about how she’s rude and aggressive, hates waiting and will even get angry if they don’t recognise her. Fans have had negative experiences where they met Evan and Emma together and whilst Evan would talk to them and take photos she would just stand their annoyed. People who have worked on sets with her have said that she’s a nightmare to work with. This tweet shows a compilation of just some of the tweets and comments about people’s experiences meeting Emma.

Well, that’s all the dirty laundry on Emma Roberts. Now, what’s the point in this post? What does the title mean?

Well, Angelica Ross tweeted that Emma apologised for her transphobic comments.

Thank you @ RobertsEmma for calling and apologizing, recognizing your behavior was not that of an ally. I will leave the line open to follow up on your desire to do better and support social justice causes with your platform.

And a large portion of the internet has gone from holding Emma accountable for her actions and acknowledging that she’s not a good person to suddenly worshipping her again and acting like she’s god’s gift. I’m so happy that Angelica has been able to get this sort of closure and an apology, I really am, but I just thought that her leaking that Emma was transphobic towards her would open people’s eyes to the type of person Emma is. She’s got a history of being a bad person, and people were finally opening their eyes to that. Unfortunately, they’re starting to blind themselves again and are going back to thinking she’s great.

Emma has never been held accountable for any of her negative behaviour. No one has ever held her accountable for the abuse with Evan, no one has ever held her accountable for how awful she would be to cast and crew. Angelica calling her out for being transphobic was finally a step in the direction for Emma being held accountable for her past actions which have had detrimental effects on other people, but they’re not.

Whenever you bring up Emma getting arrested people rebuttal it with ‘they were hitting each other’ or ‘Evan started it’ or ‘it was years ago, let it go’ or ‘she’s a mother now, she’s changed’. People always come to her defensive and either shift the blame onto Evan, just say ‘she’s changed’ or outright deny it. These people are protecting not a good person by doing this and their denial that Emma isn’t problematic leads to the issue of her not being held accountable.

If you bring up people’s anecdotes about negative experiences meeting Emma they instantly call them fake. Apparently everyone who says they met Emma and had a bad experience is a liar. No one’s allowed to have a bad experience with her otherwise you’re just trying to defame her.

This is a woman who was abusive towards her partner. This is a woman who was transphobic. This is a woman who treats people ‘beneath her’ like shit. And no one has ever held her accountable for any of this. Instead she’s almost protected by the internet, with people coming to defend her of you say even the slightest negative thing. This is not good. This is not healthy.

Why should Emma get a free pass? Why shouldn’t she be held accountable for her actions? Why should she be able to get away with everything she does? Answer: she shouldn’t. But she does. Because she’s an icon ✨ she’s mother ✨ she’s the moment ✨

She’s not.

Emma Roberts treats people awfully, but the internet chooses to neglect that. Emma Roberts is rude to her co-stars and crew, but the internet chooses to neglect that. Emma Roberts was abusive towards her boyfriend, but the internet chooses to neglect that. Emma Roberts is a bad person, but the internet chooses to neglect that.

#so sorry this is long #but I had a lot to say #I’m just angry #I don’t know what to tag this as I don’t want Emma fans to attack me #tw domestic violence #tw abuse #tw transphobia

[kit-walk3r]

Fair warning, I’m about to post something pretty serious about real life, nothing to do with fanfic. I feel like it’s important and needs to be said. So, if you’re a fan of Emma Roberts or are triggered by talks of domestic abuse and transphobia then it’s best that you don’t read this.

#please don’t hate me for posting this #it needs to be said

[kit-walk3r]

The Evans as Hit Tweets (Part 2)

People seemed to like the last one and I really wanted to put some content out so here you go! Once again most of these are from Pinterest.

Part 1 can be found here.

Tate

Kyle

Jimmy

James

Rory

Kai

Mr Gallant

Austin

Peter

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @rwottvn @kaismanwich @violetharmonstwin @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @fictionisjustbetter @spill-the-t @hyperharlz @icannot3 @evanptrss

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

#american horror story #ahs #evan peters #tate langdon #kit walker #kyle spencer #jimmy darling #james patrick march #rory monahan #kai anderson #mr gallant #austin sommers #Peter maximoff

[kit-walk3r]

Hey! I hope this isn’t a disrespectful question because that’s not at all my intent, but why is smut off limits when it comes to your fics? I completely respect that choice btw, that is your right. Feel free to ignore this question though <3

Heyy, it’s not disrespectful don’t worry!

I’m just not really confident enough to write smut. I still get nervous every time I post any sort of writing and am scared that it’s not good/is boring/people hate it, no matter what it is. It could just be a couple of headcanons or a full fic, I’m still scared to post it (unrelated but this is why I haven’t updated my Scream fic). My confidence levels are already low when it comes to regular writing, they’re fully non-existent for smut.

I’ve also just never really tried writing it. Again, it leads back to lack of confidence. It has literally taken me years just to finally pluck up the courage to post any sort of fanfic. I lack the faith in myself to be able to write even the most bland smut you could imagine.

So yeah, this is my honest answer. I know it probably makes me sound childish and stupid but it’s my truth

[kit-walk3r]

Let’s talk about Kyle Spencer & the representation of male sexual abuse

Trigger warnings: mentions of male sexual abuse, particularly by a parent, also brief mention of female sexual abuse

Kyle Spencer is Evan Peters’ character in American Horror Story: Coven. He is first introduced as a fun loving, polite frat boy but dies prematurely at the end of the first episode, and is later physically sewn back together (with body parts of his deceased frat brothers) and revived. After he is revived he is unable to speak properly, can barely walk and cannot understand what is going on around him. He can barely function.

It’s revealed early on that Kyle has been sexually abused by his mother, presumably for a while from comments she makes (“I know your body, Kyle. I know it” & “I’ve been possessive, I know that. I never meant for it to go on for so long”). It’s a horrifying revelation and physically makes me sick. Alicia Spencer is one of the worst characters in the entire series; yes there’s people like Kai and JPM who are sick and twisted but there’s something about a mother who is abusing her child in such a way that makes her so much worse.

Later on in the season Kyle becomes involved in a love triangle with Zoe and Madison where Kyle is further used as a sex object as opposed to an actual human being. Kyle is emotionally vulnerable, unaware of what is happening around him and practically has the mentality of a young child (look at how excited he gets about a dog and the headphones and how easily frustrated he gets when he can’t speak properly). He can barely comprehend who he or anyone else is and his body is being used in such an inappropriate manner.

I don’t know how it is to other people but Kyle’s treatment from both Madison and Zoe disgusts me, especially Zoe. She knows how disassociated Kyle is, she’s literally been teaching him how to speak again, but still goes along with the plan to use him as a human sex toy as opposed to the human being he really is. I understand that Madison and Zoe did not know about the abuse Kyle endured from his mother but even without that knowledge they should have known how the way they were using Kyle was basically abuse. Madison literally trained Kyle to have a threesome with her and Zoe. The poor boy can’t even form a sentence and his body is already being used for other people’s pleasure. Kyle did not have the mental capability to consent. Madison faced her own traumatic sexual abuse, you’d think she would have been able to recognise when someone wasn’t able to consent.

And the thing is, the show doesn’t acknowledge that what is happening to Kyle is abuse. Kyle’s whole character is essentially just a plot device to cause drama within the girls between Zoe and Madison and it’s frustrating that they have to subject him to even more sexual abuse after his mother to do so. If they were so desperate to use Kyle for a love triangle then it would have been more appropriate for them to have him be more mentally aware of himself and his surroundings. But then again, if they did that then it wouldn’t have been as dramatic and they wouldn’t have been able to have scenes of a completely unaware and vulnerable Kyle be physically manipulated into inviting Zoe for a threesome or going in for a kiss or touch when he sees Zoe or Madison because that’s how he now perceives affection and communication to be.

Also, I think it should be noted how gross it is that they stitch Kyle back together again with body parts of his dead frat brothers. The whole idea of making the “perfect boyfriend” is disgusting and just shows how Kyle’s body is even further sexualised as the idea of reviving him comes from making him physically the perfect guy as opposed to just Kyle himself.

Overall, Kyle was a character who was grossly mistreated in Coven. He faced sexual abuse from multiple different women and the show refuses to acknowledge that some of these cases are in fact abuse. It angers me and Kyle Spencer deserved better. Coven is renowned for being a ‘girl power’ season and it’s just frustrating that in order for them to represent this they have to subject Kyle to abuse to show ‘female empowerment’.

(And let’s not get me started about how Kyle started the season as a guy with big life ambitions to help and protect the poor and by the end was a fucking butler)

#thought I’d reshare this #thinking of kyle again and it feels very relevant #it’s actually one of the very first things I posted

[kit-walk3r]

Hi, me again 👋

Apologising once again for my absence. Unfortunately a family member has been really ill recently so I’ve had no time or motivation to write. I’d love to post more fics and stuff but at this moment it’s a really hard time. However, I really do want to try and post some things, sort of as a distraction, so in the next couple of weeks I might start with some small ‘The Evans _’ or headcanons or something like that, just to keep this blog going. It’s sort of a comfort space for me so I don’t want to let it go.

Thank you for sticking with me! I will try my hardest to post more content again soon 💗

[kit-walk3r]

I’m really sorry that I’m absent right now. I’m kinda struggling with some personal stuff but am trying my best to write and post updates!

[kit-walk3r]

Red Dress (Jimmy Darling x fem!reader)

When a handless Jimmy Darling is brought into the hospital you take it upon yourself as a nurse to help care for him.

Warnings: probably a whole lot of medical inaccuracies (whoops), a tiny bit of blood?

Notes: I was originally planning to post a Kyle fic but I recently rewatched Freak Show and got inspired. Also, it’s been a while since I wrote Jimmy!

The ‘Tupperware Party Massacre’ (as it had been dubbed) was a pretty popular conversation topic amongst the nurses. Many had friends attending that party so there were some pretty strong and emotional feelings about it, and especially about the suspected culprit Jimmy Darling. Lobster Boy from the local freak show. Also frequent source of pleasure for many women in Jupiter, many including the nurses you worked with. 

“I can’t believe it,” one woman cried. “That could have been me!” 

“I feel sick,” another said. “Knowing that I let that monster touch me in such a way.”

“I’m not that surprised,” a third added. “I mean, he belongs to that freak show. They should all be locked up if you asked me.”

You never got involved in their gossip, rather preferring to stick to yourself and just do your job. You did talk to the other nurses, but once the conversations turned nasty you would often excuse yourself and find something else to occupy your free time. You were hearing all the nasty things the girls were saying and said nothing, even though a part of you wanted to intervene. You’d been to the freak show and seen them all perform and found it unnecessarily cruel the way the townspeople spoke about and to the freaks. None of them were scary or ugly or monsters. They were just people, and you didn’t understand why others couldn’t accept that.

When Jimmy Darling was transported to the hospital you worked at for treatment the gossiping only got worse and was fueled with more hatred and anger. The other nurses didn’t understand why they were even offering help to him. ‘He deserves to rot’, many of them said. ‘Why should we be obliged to help him when he murdered our friends?’

“Maybe I could slip something into his food,” one of the girls said. “No one would have to know.” The others giggled.

“Or maybe smother him with a pillow,” another suggested. “It’s not like he could fight back. It would be so easy.”

You felt sick at what you were hearing. As a nurse you swore an oath to help save and care for people. These girls were talking about killing Jimmy. Even if they were joking you found it awful. How could these girls call themselves nurses if they were so willing to let a patient die? And by their own hand?

You’d had enough of listening to their nonsense and decided to carry on with your duties early, unable to stomach another word of what they were saying. You were just heading down the hallway of one of the lower floors when you heard a whimpering. You froze in your tracks, the sad sound distracting you.

“Help,” you heard someone moan. It was quiet, barely audible, but you still noticed it. There was another whimper. “Help.”

Deciding that your cleaning duties were no longer important you investigated the noise, the instinct to help and care kicking in. You retraced your steps until you came to a slightly ajar door. You heard the same whimpering sound, the same cry for help. 

You gently knocked on the door before pushing it open, only to reveal Jimmy Darling laid in the bed, chained up. He looked awful. His face was red and clammy, damp hair sticking to his forehead from sweat. His eyes were bloodshot, definitely from crying due to the dampness of his cheeks, and you noticed how he winced with every slightest movement. 

Then there were his hands, or lack of. You held in a gasp at the sight of the two bloody stubs where his infamous lobster claws should have been. Blood had seeped through the bandages and they clearly should have been changed hours ago, but you were not surprised that his care had been neglected. No nurse was going to offer Jimmy any care after the Tupperware Party Massacre.

Jimmy tried to lift his head to see who was at the door, but it fell back against the pillow quickly, the pain being too much. You felt a pang of sadness for the guy. He didn’t look good.

“Hi,” you said softly. “Is there anything I can get you?”

“Can you get me something for-” Jimmy hissed in pain as his left stump accidentally brushed against his leg. “Something for the pain?” The way he spoke was quiet and slow and almost slurred. He sounded exhausted. Your sympathy for him grew.

“Of course,” you nodded, sending him a gentle smile. “I’ll be right back.”

You left Jimmy’s room and headed off to find something to ease Jimmy’s pain. You had to be careful, not wanting to be caught taking supplies without the consent of a doctor. Since Jimmy was so obviously in agony it was clear that no one had been instructed to give him pain relief (probably due to his supposed murderer status), so it was up to you alone to help him. You grabbed a few supplies, not enough to be suspicious, and made your way back to Jimmy, making sure no one saw you. You would undoubtedly be in trouble if someone with authority found out you were skipping your daily duties to help a criminal.

“This should help,” you showed Jimmy the needle and vial of clear liquid as you came back through the door. You headed over to his bed and gestured to it with a nod. “May I?” 

Jimmy nodded and you took a seat next to him on his bed. You did your thing and carefully filled the needle with the clear liquid. You wiped down the skin of his inner elbow before lightly pressing the needle into his skin and pushing down, injecting him with the pain relief. “There,” you smiled as you pulled the needle out. “That should do the trick, at least for a little while.”

Jimmy tried his best to smile at you, but it came out as more of a grimace. 

A damp cloth was amongst the other supplies you brought back and you gently pressed it to his forehead in an attempt to cool him down, concerned about how red and sweaty he was. You were a nurse and you were doing your job, caring for the sick.

Jimmy watched you, eyes filled with a slight glimpse of confusion. You were the first nurse who was nice to him. The other two he had seen whilst strapped to the bed had offered no help at all, just glaring at him whilst they did the bare minimum. You, however, were tending to all of his needs. The damp cloth against his forehead felt soothing and he loved the caring feeling.

“T-thank you,” Jimmy stuttered, already starting to feel the effects of the pain relief. 

“It’s not a problem,” you said politely. “It’s my job to care for people. You included.”

Jimmy nodded. It was weird, you looked almost… familiar to him. Like he knew you from somewhere, like your paths had crossed before. He couldn’t place his finger on it, but Jimmy was definitely convinced that the two of you had met before.

You began to move onto your next mission. “I’m just going to change your bandages,” you told Jimmy. He hummed in response. He looked ever so slightly more content than he had a few minutes ago, so you assumed that you could go ahead without causing him too much more pain. “I’m sorry if this hurts a little,” you apologised before grabbing hold of his right stump as lightly as you could and beginning to unravel the blood soaked bandages. 

He hissed at the pain once again, but he didn’t flinch away or shake or even cry like he had done previously. You took this as a sign that the pain relief was doing its job. You apologised to him again before taking off the last bit, revealing the real damage. You winced yourself at the sight of his arm. Thick black stitches were surrounded by irritated red skin and you couldn’t even begin to imagine how that must feel. 

“That bad?” Jimmy mumbled. 

You didn’t say anything and instead just shot him a sympathetic look. You pulled out a small bottle of rubbing alcohol out of the pocket of your uniform and poured a little onto a piece of gauze. “This is going to sting,” you warned before gently dabbing it over his butchered stump. This time Jimmy let out a cry and your heart broke for him. Even with the pain relief you could see that he was still hurting and you wished there was more you could do.

After cleaning the stitches and inflamed skin you began to wrap up his stump again, as carefully as you could. Jimmy appreciated your soft touch. The last person who sorted out his bandages obviously did not care for his well being and was rough, ignoring his cries of pain. You were taking care of him better than anyone else ever did.

You got up and walked round to the other side of the bed before sitting down and beginning to repeat the process with his left stump. 

“You look familiar,” Jimmy muttered, curious as to where he knew you from, and you froze, stopping unravelling his bandages.

Yes, you would have looked familiar to Jimmy. You had been one of his ‘clients’, or whatever the ladies were referred to as. It had been your friend’s birthday and as a treat a couple of people had pulled some strings and invited Jimmy Darling to the party, obviously to offer special favours. You didn’t know who Jimmy was at that point, or what he did, but the other girls who had previously encountered him quickly informed you. You blushed as they told you. Towards the end of the party you were the only person who hadn’t paid Jimmy a visit, and at your friends’ insistence you finally decided to go and see him and what the fuss was all about. 

You still remember it clearly as if it were recent and not a year ago. You remember how nervous you were once you were stood outside the door. The butterflies you felt both from nerves and anticipation as you knocked. The warmth that flooded your cheeks when you entered and saw Jimmy laid out on the bed, a sultry smirk on his face. How heavy your breathing was when you laid down and saw him at the end of the bed and the intense feeling that followed once he got to work. It was the first time you’d done anything like that, paid for pleasure, and the only time. And, although you’d never admit it, as you left that bedroom hot, flustered and satisfied you were glad you attended that birthday party.

“Uh, yes,” you blushed, unable to look Jimmy in the eye. Instead you kept your gaze firmly on his arm that you got back to work on. “Our paths have crossed.” 

Jimmy saw how red your cheeks were and from your stuttering and refusal to look at him he had an idea of where he knew you from. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said, attempting to tease you, even in his distressed state. “I hope I did a good job.”

Jimmy’s words did not help your blush. Your gaze still remained as you repeated the process with the rubbing alcohol, cringing again at the same cry of pain. You went back to wrapping it back up. “Yeah, it was good,” you nodded, voice slightly a higher pitch from embarrassment, and finally looked up at him.

Even though he was in obvious pain and discomfort, Jimmy still managed to have the tiniest grin on his face. You couldn’t help but smile back.

Now you’d finished with Jimmy’s bandages you really needed to get back to your actual duties. “I’m really sorry,” you apologised. “I’ve got to get back to work.” You felt bad for leaving him, but you had stuff you needed to do before your shift was over. 

“It’s okay,” Jimmy murmured. His teasing grin turned into a small yet genuine smile. “Thank you.”

“It’s my pleasure,” you gathered up the used bandages and other supplies you picked up that could go back in the cupboard. “I’ll try and come back tomorrow if you need any more help.”

Jimmy nodded, immensely grateful for your care and support.

- - -

You were supposed to be on your break, but instead used it as your time to go and visit Jimmy and see if he needed any help today. Ever since you cared for him yesterday he’d been on your mind, both the sight of him so vulnerable in that hospital bed and the birthday party. You’d been waiting for the perfect moment to go and see him, but unfortunately it was a very busy day and the only free time you managed to find was your break. Oh well, you’d happily sacrifice your break to take care of him.

The door to his room was closed when you arrived, so you gently knocked twice before opening it. You were met with the same sight as yesterday, Jimmy chained up in his bed looking tired and uncomfortable. “Hi,” you greeted.

Jimmy perked up and smiled. “Hey.”

You closed the door behind you. “Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Jimmy’s smile faltered and a look of embarrassment replaced it. He turned his head to look at a full tray of food on the nightstand next to him before looking back at you with pleading eyes.

Understanding what he meant, you smiled and nodded before pulling up a chair to the side of his bed and sitting down. You picked up the fork from the tray and scooped up a bit of what you assumed was mashed potato before moving it closer to Jimmy’s mouth and allowing him to take the mouthful. 

You wouldn’t dare say it, but it was like feeding a child and you felt a familiar pang of sympathy for the former Lobster Boy. Was this really his life now? Having to be hand fed food by other people? That’s if he lives through this, you thought. He was in a pretty dangerous position right now with the cops and the Tupperware Party Massacre. There were high chances Jimmy wasn’t getting out alive.

Did you believe that Jimmy killed those women? No, you didn’t. You’d thought about this last night and came to the conclusion that you believed he was innocent. Perhaps it was naivety, but you could just not comprehend the idea that this vulnerable, distressed man you were literally having to feed yourself was capable of the horrors that happened at that party. You couldn’t put those two together. 

You continued to feed Jimmy until he decided he was full and then afterwards you helped him have a drink of the glass of water left with his dinner. He smiled at you gratefully once you were done, but it wasn’t a real smile. You could see the shame and embarrassment in his eyes over how he needed you to feed him. He hated being so useless.

You were checking your watch to see how much longer you had of your break when Jimmy spoke up. “A red dress,” he said. 

You looked up at him with a sense of confusion. “Sorry?”

“I remember you,” Jimmy said. “You were wearing a red dress.”

“Oh,” you looked down. No surprise you were blushing. You couldn’t believe that he remembered something so trivial like your dress colour.

“It was a birthday party,” he continued. “You were the last one to see me before I went home.”

“How do you even remember this?” You asked, looking back up. Surely he’d seen a lot of women, how did he remember the specifics for you when it was a year ago.

“You were nice to me,” Jimmy said matter-of-factly. “You asked me my name. How I was doing. If I was comfortable even though you were the one on the receiving end.” He chuckled lightly and your face turned a deeper shade of red (if that were possible).

“I was really nervous,” you admitted. “I’d never been in a situation like that before. You made me feel safe.”

Jimmy smiled at that. “I thought about you a lot, those following few weeks,” He said. “Was kinda hoping you’d come back to me.”

You didn’t realise you’d had such an effect. You were just being polite. “Sorry about that,” you apologised. “It was great, but those sort of parties just aren’t really my scene.”

Jimmy shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he shrugged it off. “Besides, be happy you didn’t go to those tupperware parties. Otherwise you might have been one of those ladies lying in the morgue.” A sombre look overcame his face.

If Jimmy’s stubs weren’t causing him so much pain you would have reached out to hold one comfortingly. “I don’t think you did it,” you said honestly.

Jimmy’s eyes softened. “You’re the only one,” his voice sounded so lost and vulnerable. “I’m probably gonna be dead in a week.”

“Don’t think like that,” you said. “Things could work out. They could find the guy who really did this, or you could get a good lawyer-”

“I sold my hands for a good lawyer,” Jimmy grumbled, waving his handless arms at you. “And look where that got me. That asshole from Hollywood took my hands and ran off. I’ve got nothing. I’m done.”

It hurt to see Jimmy look so deflated. “Don’t lose hope, Jimmy,” you tried to sound reassuring. “There’s still time, something could happen.”

“Don’t get too excited, sweetheart,” Jimmy sighed. You surprisingly didn’t react to his casual use of ‘sweetheart’, too sad at Jimmy’s expense. “These pigs have been waiting for an excuse to fry me. Ain’t no place in Jupiter for freaks,” he recited what the cop he killed had said.

“Don’t say that-” You were cut off by a knock at the door.

You shot around, ready to see another nurse or a doctor standing in the doorway, catching you caring for Jimmy, but instead a large, bald man was there. You looked back at Jimmy, wondering if he knew who the stranger was.

“It’s my dad,” he mumbled. You nodded and turned round to smile at the man who was Jimmy’s father before standing up and offering him your seat.

“I should probably get back to work anyway,” you said, and Jimmy nodded. His father said nothing. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jimmy,” you smiled at him before leaving and giving him the privacy to talk to his dad.

A tear ran down your cheek as you walked away from his room. You weren’t particularly religious, but you prayed that Jimmy would get out of this alive. He didn’t deserve to die.

•—————————————————————————•

I love writing Jimmy and really want to write more of him. Got some ideas for a few more Jimmy fics for the near future!

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @rwottvn @kaismanwich @violetharmonstwin @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @mariefics @spill-the-t @hyperharlz

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

#american horror story #ahs #jimmy darling #evan peters #ahs freak show #american horror story freak show #jimmy darling x reader #jimmy darling x you #jimmy darling x y/n #tate langdon #kit walker #kyle spencer #james patrick march #kai anderson

[kit-walk3r]

Jimmy fic coming later today!

#exciting stuff #it’s about time I wrote my Jimmy #I have like 3 other Jimmy fics in the works too

[kit-walk3r]

Rory Monahan SFW alphabet

The little redhead deserves some loving so here it is

Warnings: none

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Rory is annoyingly affectionate, to the point where it’s almost too much. He’s very physically affectionate which can get distracting. You’re trying to do something and he’ll come up behind you and interrupt whatever it is you’re doing, trying to get your attention by wrapping his arms around you and pulling you towards him instead. It’s nice, but always at the most inconvenient moments.

If/when your relationship is public he’s got no issues being seen affectionate with you out and about, holding your hand, wrapping arm around you etc. He actually likes looking at paparazzi photos of the two of you and commenting on how you are a good looking couple.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being Rory’s friend comes with a lot of perks. He’ll invite you to set, premieres and awards after parties (it’s up to you if you want to go). But he also values your privacy so if you want to keep to yourself and not be in the spotlight then Rory will do what he can to keep you away from it all (he also does this as a partner).

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Rory’s favourite cuddles are the ones when comes home to you after being away for months filming something. He loves a cuddle anyway, but there’s something special about the ones when you’ve not seen each other for so long. He also loves that these cuddles often lead to something less innocent.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

To Rory, settling down means letting his career take a back seat and he’s not ready for that. He might want to settle down with you eventually, but he’s at a point in his career where he’s making a name for himself and doesn’t want to let that go. He likes the chaos of his actor life. But don’t let this make you think he doesn’t want a life with you, he really does. (Obviously settling down doesn’t mean giving up on your career, but it’s now Rory views it).

Also, he is absolutely hopeless at household chores.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Here’s one way it could go: Rory messages you that you need to meet up and talk. The two of you can’t find a time where you’re both free so instead of trying to properly negotiate something Rory would just end up dropping you a message saying that he was ending things, although he would add “it’s not you, it’s me” at the end to try and make it more sensitive.

If you’d been together a while then he’d have the decency to do it in person, but still wouldn’t be the most sensitive guy when it comes to it. He’d buy you a slice of cake to try and “ease the blow” and would still add “it’s not you. It’s me” to be nicer. Then, he would use the emotions of the breakup as inspiration for his next emotional scene to film.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ironically, Rory is the type of guy to propose to you after like six months of dating and wants to get married straight away. He might not want to ‘settle down’ just yet but he is more than happy to get married, they’re two different things for him. Also, proposing and marrying you is his way of saying he wants to spend his life with you, even though he’s not ready to live domestically.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Rory’s not always the most emotionally gentle person. He tries to be, but sometimes he can’t help but be blunt or a little insensitive. It’s not intentional and he doesn’t mean to upset anyone but sometimes he just doesn’t think before he speaks. However, he’s physically very gentle (unless you don’t want him to be…). He worships you and wants you to know it and since he’s so physically affectionate he does it through his soft and gentle touch.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Everything about Rory is dramatic, so of course his hugs are too. He can’t give you a normal hug. No way. Whenever you hug he’ll lift you off the ground and spin you around. Of course he’ll give you soft, gentle ones too but he’s much more of a spinning bear hug guy. You can’t deny that you love it, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you as he spins you both. You really love it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Rory says I love you within a month of dating you. He’s quick, but certain. He also just says it completely randomly. Nothing special, nothing dramatic (surprisingly). You’re in the middle of a conversation and he’ll just blurt out “I love you”.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Rory doesn’t get too jealous. He knows that you’re attractive and that people are going to say certain things online but honestly, even though he wishes people wouldn’t objectify you in such a way he does agree with some of the stuff that’s said, the stuff calling you beautiful and stunning. The only times he’s ever gotten jealous has been when famous celebrities (more famous than him) have spoken to you when the two of you have been at an event. That’s when a little jealousy begins to burn.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If Rory goes in for a kiss expect a full on make out session. Rory can’t just do one kiss. He’s insatiable when it comes to your kisses and can never get enough. He loves them so much, it’s like he’s addicted. Quick pecks are not enough for this guy.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Rory’s essentially a big kid himself so is great with children. A make-a-wish child came to the set of a movie he was working on once and Rory made it his mission to give this kid the best day ever. He gave them a tour of the set, introduced them to all of the cast and even played video games with them in his trailer when he wasn’t needed.

You and Rory have talked about kids and Rory wouldn’t mind having them, just not yet. Like the settling down thing, he wants to be in a solid place in his career before making that big step.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If Rory is working on a project you will often be woken up at random hours of the morning when he has to be at set early. Rory is not quiet. He’s also not organised and if you’re not already awake he will wake you up to ask where his phone charger is, even though he had it yesterday.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Chances are if Rory is working on something he won’t get in until late in the evening/early hours of the morning so it’s rare for you two to have a free night together. However, when Rory’s not working

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Rory’s a pretty open guy, he doesn’t hide much. He’s very much a wear your heart on your sleeve kind of person, as opposed to someone closed up with lots of secrets. He’ll tell you anything you wanna know.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Rory’s pretty chill, so it takes a lot to get him angry. He can get frustrated (often at things like an audition going badly) but to get proper angry? Yeah, it’s hard. One time he did get angry was just after your relationship went public. He was promoting a movie and an interviewer kept insisting they talk about you and your relationship, even though Rory said he didn’t want to. The interviewer continued to pester him about you, adding in some crude remarks, so Rory told them to fuck off and got up and walked out (This went viral).

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Rory, the poor thing, is kind of forgetful. Birthdays and anniversaries he remembers but anything else? Chances are it’s gone and forgotten. He’ll remember that you’ve told him but won’t remember what the actual thing is, even though tries his hardest, bless him. You’d think it would be annoying but it’s surprisingly not, and sometimes you’ll have a little fun and tease him, pretending you’ve told him something that you haven’t just to watch him squirm when he can’t think of the answer. He finds it funny, though.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably when you came to the premiere of a movie with his first lead role. Obviously Rory is very proud of his career and getting to have you by his side and feeling your support at the premiere of his first lead means the absolute world to him. That premiere was a special moment for him anyway, but to have you by his side made it perfect, especially you tended to avoid things like premieres until later on in your relationship.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Rory is super protective of you, especially from the media. When you first started dating he did everything he could to conceal your identity so that you wouldn’t be harassed and could carry on living normally. However, when your relationship inevitably became public he was protective in a slightly different way and instead of protecting your identity he was protecting you from things such as internet trolls. He turned off comments on his Instagram so that no one could write horrible ones about you, he reported a lot of tweets, posts and even accounts for posting/saying awful things about you and at one point posted a video telling people to be nice (in a general sense, not mentioning you directly but your relevance was implied). And boy, is he quick to shut down interviewers who bring up personal questions about you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Big, dramatic gestures are Rory’s thing. He’s not always around because of work but he will make sure he’s home for your birthday and he will throw you a great party to celebrate. He likes to buy you nice things since that’s another way Rory likes to show his affection: showering you with gifts. You mention in passing that you like something? Give it a week and Rory has bought it. At the start of your relationship you couldn’t really go out on big dates because of Rory’s growing fame and you wanted to keep the relationship private so giving you gifts was Rory’s way of apologising for that.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Rory can be a terrible flirt, particularly in interviews. When doing promo for a movie/show he can often be seen flirting with the interviewer if they’re female. You know you can trust him and that he wouldn’t cheat, but sometimes you are concerned about his flirtatious nature. He doesn’t mean anything harmful by it, it’s just how he is.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Rory’s so vain. He has a stylist who’s usually just for premieres but Rory always has them on call for when he’s doing interviews or public appearances. Even if it’s just a simple date with you (like a walk in the park) he will still spend ages sorting out his hair. He definitely looks in every mirror he walks by.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Rory lives a pretty busy life so he wouldn’t have time to think about you if you’re not there/you’re over. This works for Rory though, since it keeps him distracted. Once he’s on his own, away from the hustle and bustle of work and is in the quiet of his own head he’ll start to feel incomplete without you as the loneliness creeps in.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

You can’t watch movies with Rory because he will just explain how they do things, tell stories about when he met some of the actors or will tell you what he would have done differently if he in that role. You just want to watch a movie but Rory gives you a full running commentary.

Also Rory would take part in the writers and actors strike.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Anyone who is too stuck up and doesn’t know how to let loose is a big no no for Rory, he wants someone who will have fun with him, not someone who will get frustrated at his lighthearted, fun loving nature. Also, anyone who is clearly using Rory just for clout or just wants a famous boyfriend. Sometimes he’s not the most aware guy and might not realise that these are someone’s intentions but as soon as he figures out things are over (and he’ll break up with them over text out of spite). He’s a little hurt by them though.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Absolutely dead to the world. Once Rory’s asleep there’s no hope in waking him unless you’re his alarm clock. He will also fall asleep in the most random places.

•—————————————————————————•

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @rwottvn @kaismanwich @violetharmonstwin @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @mariefics @spill-the-t @hyperharlz

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

#american horror story #ahs #rory monahan #evan peters #ahs roanoke #american horror story roanoke #rory monahan x reader #tate langdon #kit walker #kyle spencer #jimmy darling #james patrick march #kai anderson

[kit-walk3r]

Did someone say Rory Monahan SFW alphabet? 👀 (Probably no but I’m giving you all one anyway bc that little redhead deserves some love)

#Rory’s a fun guy #let’s give him a little love

[kit-walk3r]

Could you write an angst with Kyle Spencer about reader finding out about his mom thing?

If you feel comfortable of course, thank you <3

Thanks for the request anon, sorry it took so long! I put a lot of thought and care into this one, I hope it’s okay for you!

Brave (Kyle Spencer x fem!reader)

Kyle finally tells someone about his mom.

Warnings: strong conversion about the sexual abuse of a minor by a parent.

Notes: I’ve made this a fic where ‘fixed’ FrankenKyle gets to tell his story, as I believe this was something that should have been in the show. It goes a little deep into his backstory and what his mother did so please read with caution

You’d not been at Miss Robichaux’s Academy for too long, perhaps a few months. In that time you’d had a few struggles fitting in, unsure of how to act around the other witches. That was how you became friends with Kyle, the butler. You were feeling rather down one night, and was sat outside way past lights out, just thinking. That was when Kyle found you. He was having trouble sleeping and also liked to sit outside and think. The two of you started talking and soon found yourselves opening up to each other. 

Kyle was sweet. He listened to every word you said as you told him about your worries and woes. And in return he told you about himself, how he died and was brought back to life. How he wasn’t exactly living the life he wanted for himself but he felt that he owed the Coven for bringing him back and healing him so he stayed as their butler. You sympathised with him. It must hurt to go from dreaming big to carrying suitcases and making drinks. 

One day after class your mentor, Zoe, asked you to stay behind.

“You’re hanging out with Kyle, right?” Zoe asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. He’s really nice.”

“I’m guessing you know what happened to him?” 

“About how he died?” Zoe nodded. “Yeah, he told me.”

“Okay, good,” Zoe paused for a moment. “Just be careful with him, yeah?” She warned. “I know that he’s a great guy and that he’s ‘better’ now but he’s still dangerous. He murdered his mother. Please be careful.”

What neither you or Zoe realised was that Kyle was standing outside and had heard everything.

- - -

Later on after lights out you headed up to Kyle’s room. You knocked on his door, but there was no response. After a few moments you knocked again. You were still met with silence.

Concerned, you opened his door and quietly stepped inside. “Kyle?”

You found Kyle laid down on his bed, almost curled up into a ball, looking sad. He was in a sweater and some holey sweatpants instead of his usual butler attire. “Kyle, what’s wrong?”

Kyle sniffled and wiped his eyes before sitting up. “I heard you talking to Zoe,” he muttered sadly.

You sighed, remembering Zoe calling him dangerous. “That didn’t mean anything. She was just looking out for me,” you said in a soft tone. You nudged his shoulder with your own. “I’m not scared of you.”

Kyle nodded but said nothing. He just stared at a spot on the floor, away from your gaze. “I just wish she would stop bringing up my mom,” he finally said.

Oh yeah, his mom. Who Kyle had murdered before his mind had healed. Perhaps Kyle felt guilty about it and that was why he didn’t want anyone to talk about her?

“It comes back in flashes,” Kyle said. You looked at him confused, not knowing what he was talking about. “At first it was just when there was something that reminded me of her, but I’m starting to remember more and I don’t want to. I hate it. I just want to forget.” He  slapped his forehead as if that would help him block out his memories. You pulled his hand away to stop him from hurting himself.

“Forget what, Kyle?” You asked.

“My mom… I just want to forget everything about her,” Kyle’s eyes were starting to fill with tears.

“Is it because you feel guilty about her death?” You cautiously asked.

Kyle shook his head.

“Then what is it?” You edged on.

Kyle stayed silent, aside from the little sniffs from his crying.

“Kyle, you can talk to me,” you reassured, lightly grasping his hand in your own. You could see that they were trembling slightly.

“My mom used to… do… things to me,” he finally admitted.

Now you didn’t know what to say.

“Things no mom should ever do to their son,” Kyle started to quietly cry properly. “And I’ve never told anyone.”

You were again speechless. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, reassuring him that you were listening and there for him as a source of comfort. This was obviously something big for Kyle, to finally talk about this.

“It started when I was fourteen. Or fifteen. Or maybe sixteen. The details are still a little fuzzy,” Kyle shrugged. “And it went on until I left for college.”

“Oh, Kyle,” you sighed, tears forming in your own eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.” You had no clue what to say. What else was there to say?

“All my friends used to mock me for being a virgin,” Kyle chuckled humourlessly. “Little did they know I was having sex before any of them.”

“Kyle, you weren’t having sex,” you said in a serious yet comforting tone. “You were being abused. There’s a big difference.”

“Is there?” Kyle shook his head. “I could have stopped her. Pushed her off. Called the cops, even. But I didn’t. I just let it happen.” He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Kyle, it was not your fault,” you tried to reassure him. “None of it. You were just a kid.”

“She was just so sad after my dad left,” Kyle said. “All she did was cry. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to help. I cooked, I cleaned. I started finding jobs around the neighbourhood to help pay bills. But she was still so sad.”

Kyle’s speech was starting to get slower and he was beginning to stutter. You’d been told that his talking had greatly improved since Fiona’s little trick but he still had moments where he struggled, and how emotional he was was clearly starting to have an affect on the way he spoke. 

“She finally stopped crying after that first night in my room. She said I was helping her. That I was making her happy,” Kyle sniffed. “And what kid doesn’t want their mom to be happy? So I let her do it.”

You felt sick.

“I remember thinking that it would just be that one time. She was happier the next morning, I thought I’d helped. I hated every minute of it, but I thought I’d helped. And I guess I did, a little too well. She was back in my bed a week later.

“As I got older I’d lay there and think: ‘why are you letting her do this? You could easily just push her off right now. You could stop this’. And then she’d say something afterwards, about how lucky she was that she had me. That I made her life worth living. That she didn’t know what she’d do without me. And that was why I stayed. I didn’t want my mom to be lonely. Even with all the shit she was doing to me, some dumb part of me still wanted her to be happy.”

You were fully crying by this point, and so was Kyle. His stutters were now also broken up by the occasional quiet sob.

“Towards the end of high school it got more frequent. I guess I was starting to look more like my dad and she liked that. I was really struggling, but then I’d tell myself ‘it’s almost over. Just a few more months then you’re out of here. Go to college, live your life’. Because I wasn’t living, not really. I was existing. What life did I have at that point, really? My friends were all out meeting girls, hooking up, having fun whilst I was at home, fucking my mom.”

Your eyes widened. “Do not say that,” you said with a hard voice, even though it was evident that you were crying. “That is not what was happening. You weren’t ‘fucking your mom’. Your mom was hurting you in ways no parent ever should. She was taking advantage of your unadulterated love and trust for her own sick satisfaction. Nothing was your fault. Nothing. You were just a kid who wanted his mom to be happy and she exploited that.”

Kyle wiped his eyes with his sweater sleeve again, but it didn’t do much as more tears just replaced the ones he’d just brushed away. “I’m starting to get that now,” he mumbled. A pause. “It wasn’t my fault.”

You smiled slightly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

There was a silence amongst the two of you for a while, the only noise being Kyle’s sniffles. 

“What happened? When she died?” You finally asked. You could only dread what had happened.

“That’s still a sort of blur,” Kyle admitted. “She was touching me, I know that. She wouldn’t stop. And I guess I couldn’t take it anymore. So I grabbed something and hit her. And hit her. And hit her.”

You felt like a part of you should have been scared at the idea of Kyle’s uncontrollable behaviour, but you couldn’t be. You were almost proud. Kyle defended himself from his abuser, a sick, sick woman. How could you be mad or scared at that?

“I didn’t kill her because I was crazy or violent or evil,” He said. “I killed her because I was protecting myself.”

That was when Kyle completely broke down.

He just held his head in his hands as his sobs grew louder and louder. His body was hunched over, practically shaking and your heart broke at the sight of such a broken Kyle.

You wrapped your arms around Kyle in a tight embrace and pulled him towards you. His head rested on your shoulder as he cried and although you could feel the material of your shirt dampening from his tears you did not care. You needed to be there for Kyle, and that was what you were doing.

“It’s okay now, Kyle,” you murmured, gently rocking him back and forth in a comforting manner. “It’s okay, you’re safe. You’re okay. She can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe,” you kept repeating.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered to him. “That was very brave.”

•—————————————————————————•

I hope this was okay anon!

think this is the fic I'm most proud of. A lot of thought went into this one and I felt quite passionate about it. It was important to me that Kyle got to tell his own story and I hope I did that justice. This is the sort of scene I really wish was featured in the show. They introduced Kyle's abuse but give it no closure. I hope my fic can mirror the sort of closure that Kyle's abuse story deserved.

Taglist: @jellyluvr @howtobesasha @dewberryobssesed @rwottvn @kaismanwich @violetharmonstwin @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @mariefics @spill-the-t @hyperharlz

Want to join my taglist? Just reply here!

#reblogging bc I’m super proud of this and want more people to see it #this is my favourite fic I’ve written #kyle spencer #ahs #american horror story #evan peters

[kit-walk3r]

I just noticed that I’ve hit 200 followers. Thank you so much! 💓💓

It honestly means the world. 200 might not seem a lot to some people but I often doubt myself and my writing and reaching 200 followers and knowing that people are reading/liking what I post makes me so happy.

Thank you 💗

#like 200 followers that’s insane #it makes me so happy #thank you!!

[kit-walk3r]

Hi! I love your work! Can I make a Colin request? Maybe one where he’s super shy around reader and everyone in the office has a crush on her. He gets discouraged to ask her out because he’s super nervous around her

Aw thank you 💗 This is such a cute request, I hope I’ve done it justice for you! And also I’m sorry this is so late.

No Use Crying Over Spilt Coffee (Colin Zabel x fem!reader)

Colin has a crush on you. Unfortunately, he’s not so good at making a move.

Warnings: None

Oh, the effect you had on Colin Zabel.

Being one of the younger females at the station, you’d noticed a few looks in your direction. You weren’t stupid, you knew the guys were looking at you and you heard a couple of the comments they’d make. And you’d caught Colin’s gaze in your direction a couple of times, too. However, there was something a little more… innocent about the way Colin looked at you. He was never looking at your chest or at your ass. He just always felt more respectful in the way he looked at you, like he was looking at you as a person as not as a body.

One morning you were walking with your head turned, talking to one of your colleagues at their desk when you bumped into a tall figure. You let out an instinctive gasp at the contact and feeling of a warm liquid on your hands. You looked down to see what looked like coffee spilt over them. Then you looked up to see Colin stood wide eyed who had clearly taken the brunt of the coffee spillage. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You panicked, looking at the growing brown stain on Colin’s shirt. You instantly grabbed some tissues off the desk next to you and quickly started dabbing it to try and clean it up.

Colin just stood frozen, the feeling of your hands rubbing his chest sending his brain into haywire. 

You noticed how your wiping and dabbing was having no effect on cleaning Colin’s shirt and that you were just rubbing the stain in. “I’m just making it worse, aren’t I?” You cringed.

Colin finally came round when he heard you speak. “No, no. It’s fine,” he tried to reassure you with a slight stutter, hoping he wasn’t giving away his nerves too much. He noticed a couple of tiny coffee stains on the bottom of your shirt and his eyes widened in panic. “Shit, it’s on you too,” Colin pointed out.

You looked down at the tiny splatters, barely noticeable. “Colin, they’re fine. You can hardly notice them,” you looked back at him and the stain on his shirt. “I’m more worried about you. Do you have another shirt?”

Colin shook his head, now feeling like an idiot. He looked at the stain himself. Well shit, that was a big one. “I guess I’m just going to be smelling of coffee today,” he winced.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologised again. 

“It’s fine,” Colin tried to reassure you.

“Can I at least give you money for another coffee?” You offered.

“It’s fine,” Colin repeated. “It’s just the morning coffee my mom made.”

Colin internally groaned as soon as he spoke. Why did he just basically tell you he lived with his mom? That’s not cool. Way to make a fool of yourself even more, he thought. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” You insisted. You felt bad and really wanted to do something to make up for this situation.

Colin felt like he needed to get out of this situation before he properly embarrassed himself. However, standing covered in coffee telling you he lived with his mom had already seemed to do its job. 

“Seriously, it’s fine,” Colin said yet again. “But I’ve got to go. Bye.” 

He quickly took off, leaving you standing in the middle of the station confused whilst your colleague you had previously been talking to laughed from the sidelines.

- - -

“What happened to you?” Mare eyed the large coffee stain on Colin’s shirt as he got into the passenger seat of her car.

Colin cringed. “I bumped into Y/N and managed to spill coffee all over myself.”

Mare couldn’t help but laugh at Colin’s misfortune. “Not the greatest flirting technique.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Colin asked, confused.

“Do you really think I’m an idiot?” Mare arched an eyebrow. “This is the most obvious crush I have ever seen.”

“I don’t have a crush on anyone,” Colin tried to object but Mare quickly cut him off.

“Oh, please. There’s no use trying to deny it. It’s painful to watch,” she said. 

Colin groaned. “Is it really that bad?”

“Yes,” Mare said matter of factly. “So, are you gonna ask her out?”

Colin shook his head. “Nope.”

Mare looked at him blankly. “Why not?”

“Well, I don’t exactly have a great track record. My last relationship didn’t exactly end too well,” Colin tried to argue.

Mare let out a groan and rolled her eyes. “Zabel, are you really going to let some bitch who ditched you two weeks before your wedding and probably left you in a shit ton of debt dictate your dating life forever?”

“It just feels a little too soon,” Colin shrugged.

“It’s been two years,” Mare deadpanned.

Colin had no rebuttal for that. Mare was right, he needed to let his failed engagement go. He’d been holding on to those heartbroken feelings for too long. His ex-fiance wasn’t coming back. She’d moved on. Why shouldn’t he?

“Tell me,” Mare turned towards him. “What is it that you’re actually afraid of?” 

Colin thought. Honestly, there was a long list. Rejection, embarrassment, awkwardness, eventual heartbreak. The list went on.

“I guess,” Colin said slowly. “I’m scared that I’ll get my heart broken again.”

Mare gave Colin a sympathetic look. “Your ex messed you up pretty good, didn’t she?”

Colin sighed. “I just don’t want things to go that wrong again.”

Mare thought for a moment. “Look, this is probably the most sentimental I’m ever gonna be, but here it goes. You can’t let this stop you from going out there and giving life a go. You might get hurt again, so what? That’s just a part of life and you’ve got to accept it. Yes, things could go real bad with Y/N, but they could also go real good. Are you really going to neglect the opportunity to potentially have something great over a little fear that things won’t go the way you want?”

Colin considered Mare’s advice. Perhaps she was right and it was time for him to make the leap and take risks in his personal life.

“You know, that was pretty good advice,” Colin noted.

Mare nodded. “I know, and I don’t give it often so you should feel lucky.”

- - -

Colin decided that the next day was the day he would finally ask you out.

“Hey, Y/N,” Colin called for you from the doorway to his office.

You turned around with a soft smile. “Colin, hi,” You nodded towards his shirt. “No more coffee stain.” You joked. 

Colin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he looked down at his clean shirt to try and determine what you were on about. Then it dawned on him. You were joking about yesterday’s unfortunate coffee incident. “Oh. Yeah. All clean today,” he cringed internally as soon as he said those words. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh, sure,” you nodded. “There was actually something I wanted to talk about with you, too. Shall we talk in your office?”

Colin nodded and stepped aside so that you could enter. His heart was starting to pound with nerves and he prayed that his cheeks weren’t blushing red. 

You took a seat at the edge of Colin’s desk and watched him. From Colin’s nervous exterior, he’s flushed cheeks and slight stutter you had a slight feeling of what he might have been trying to ask you. He wasn’t exactly subtle, you’d seen the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t looking and noticed how shy he would get when you spoke to him. You decided to put the poor guy out of his misery.

“Do you fancy going for coffee some time?” You asked innocently. 

Colin’s eyes widened at your invitation. “Wait, what?” 

“You were trying to ask me out, right?” Colin nodded slowly and you smiled. “Well, there. I’ve done it for you.”

Colin was silent for a moment, attempting to digest the situation. All of the nerves, the panic, the pep talks it had taken for him to ask you out and in the end you turned around and asked him on a date? What a twisted turn of events. Colin was grateful, though. He still didn’t know if he would have been able to get the words out. “Yeah,” he finally said, nodding with a growing smile. “Although coffee might not be such a great idea,” he chuckled, referencing yesterday’s mishap.

You laughed along too.

“Maybe I could take you to dinner?” Colin offered. “A friend of mine owns a restaurant. I’ve not been able to check it out yet but it’s supposed to be great.”

“Dinner sounds good,” you nodded with a smile mirroring Colin’s. “I’m free Saturday.”

“Saturday works,” Colin agreed. All his nerves had washed away and he was instead left with a giddy sense of excitement. “If you give me your address I can pick you up around seven thirty?”

You nodded and grabbed a notepad off Colin’s desk. You wrote down your address in neat handwriting (adding a little heart at the end) before ripping the piece of paper off and handing it over to Colin. “Seven thirty on Saturday.” You confirmed.

You headed out of his office to go back to work but paused in the doorway. You turned back and sent Colin a flirtatious smile that you knew would have an effect on him. “Bye, Colin.” And with that you were gone.

Colin’s cheeks returned to the usual deep red they were whenever he spoke to you at the flirty tone of your voice. He still couldn’t believe it. He was finally going on a date with you.

Once he was sure you were gone he quickly pulled out his phone and found Mare’s contact before sending her an excited message.

MARE YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT

•—————————————————————————•

Hope you liked this! Colin's a fun one to write and it's nice to write something happy for once. Thanks for the request!

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#Colin zabel #evan peters #mare of easttown #colin zabel x reader #Colin zabel x y/n #Colin zabel x you

[kit-walk3r]

Could you write an angst with Kyle Spencer about reader finding out about his mom thing?

If you feel comfortable of course, thank you <3

Thanks for the request anon, sorry it took so long! I put a lot of thought and care into this one, I hope it’s okay for you!

Brave (Kyle Spencer x fem!reader)

Kyle finally tells someone about his mom.

Warnings: strong conversion about the sexual abuse of a minor by a parent.

Notes: I’ve made this a fic where ‘fixed’ FrankenKyle gets to tell his story, as I believe this was something that should have been in the show. It goes a little deep into his backstory and what his mother did so please read with caution

You’d not been at Miss Robichaux’s Academy for too long, perhaps a few months. In that time you’d had a few struggles fitting in, unsure of how to act around the other witches. That was how you became friends with Kyle, the butler. You were feeling rather down one night, and was sat outside way past lights out, just thinking. That was when Kyle found you. He was having trouble sleeping and also liked to sit outside and think. The two of you started talking and soon found yourselves opening up to each other. 

Kyle was sweet. He listened to every word you said as you told him about your worries and woes. And in return he told you about himself, how he died and was brought back to life. How he wasn’t exactly living the life he wanted for himself but he felt that he owed the Coven for bringing him back and healing him so he stayed as their butler. You sympathised with him. It must hurt to go from dreaming big to carrying suitcases and making drinks. 

One day after class your mentor, Zoe, asked you to stay behind.

“You’re hanging out with Kyle, right?” Zoe asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. He’s really nice.”

“I’m guessing you know what happened to him?” 

“About how he died?” Zoe nodded. “Yeah, he told me.”

“Okay, good,” Zoe paused for a moment. “Just be careful with him, yeah?” She warned. “I know that he’s a great guy and that he’s ‘better’ now but he’s still dangerous. He murdered his mother. Please be careful.”

What neither you or Zoe realised was that Kyle was standing outside and had heard everything.

- - -

Later on after lights out you headed up to Kyle’s room. You knocked on his door, but there was no response. After a few moments you knocked again. You were still met with silence.

Concerned, you opened his door and quietly stepped inside. “Kyle?”

You found Kyle laid down on his bed, almost curled up into a ball, looking sad. He was in a sweater and some holey sweatpants instead of his usual butler attire. “Kyle, what’s wrong?”

Kyle sniffled and wiped his eyes before sitting up. “I heard you talking to Zoe,” he muttered sadly.

You sighed, remembering Zoe calling him dangerous. “That didn’t mean anything. She was just looking out for me,” you said in a soft tone. You nudged his shoulder with your own. “I’m not scared of you.”

Kyle nodded but said nothing. He just stared at a spot on the floor, away from your gaze. “I just wish she would stop bringing up my mom,” he finally said.

Oh yeah, his mom. Who Kyle had murdered before his mind had healed. Perhaps Kyle felt guilty about it and that was why he didn’t want anyone to talk about her?

“It comes back in flashes,” Kyle said. You looked at him confused, not knowing what he was talking about. “At first it was just when there was something that reminded me of her, but I’m starting to remember more and I don’t want to. I hate it. I just want to forget.” He  slapped his forehead as if that would help him block out his memories. You pulled his hand away to stop him from hurting himself.

“Forget what, Kyle?” You asked.

“My mom… I just want to forget everything about her,” Kyle’s eyes were starting to fill with tears.

“Is it because you feel guilty about her death?” You cautiously asked.

Kyle shook his head.

“Then what is it?” You edged on.

Kyle stayed silent, aside from the little sniffs from his crying.

“Kyle, you can talk to me,” you reassured, lightly grasping his hand in your own. You could see that they were trembling slightly.

“My mom used to… do… things to me,” he finally admitted.

Now you didn’t know what to say.

“Things no mom should ever do to their son,” Kyle started to quietly cry properly. “And I’ve never told anyone.”

You were again speechless. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, reassuring him that you were listening and there for him as a source of comfort. This was obviously something big for Kyle, to finally talk about this.

“It started when I was fourteen. Or fifteen. Or maybe sixteen. The details are still a little fuzzy,” Kyle shrugged. “And it went on until I left for college.”

“Oh, Kyle,” you sighed, tears forming in your own eyes. “I’m so, so sorry.” You had no clue what to say. What else was there to say?

“All my friends used to mock me for being a virgin,” Kyle chuckled humourlessly. “Little did they know I was having sex before any of them.”

“Kyle, you weren’t having sex,” you said in a serious yet comforting tone. “You were being abused. There’s a big difference.”

“Is there?” Kyle shook his head. “I could have stopped her. Pushed her off. Called the cops, even. But I didn’t. I just let it happen.” He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Kyle, it was not your fault,” you tried to reassure him. “None of it. You were just a kid.”

“She was just so sad after my dad left,” Kyle said. “All she did was cry. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to help. I cooked, I cleaned. I started finding jobs around the neighbourhood to help pay bills. But she was still so sad.”

Kyle’s speech was starting to get slower and he was beginning to stutter. You’d been told that his talking had greatly improved since Fiona’s little trick but he still had moments where he struggled, and how emotional he was was clearly starting to have an affect on the way he spoke. 

“She finally stopped crying after that first night in my room. She said I was helping her. That I was making her happy,” Kyle sniffed. “And what kid doesn’t want their mom to be happy? So I let her do it.”

You felt sick.

“I remember thinking that it would just be that one time. She was happier the next morning, I thought I’d helped. I hated every minute of it, but I thought I’d helped. And I guess I did, a little too well. She was back in my bed a week later.

“As I got older I’d lay there and think: ‘why are you letting her do this? You could easily just push her off right now. You could stop this’. And then she’d say something afterwards, about how lucky she was that she had me. That I made her life worth living. That she didn’t know what she’d do without me. And that was why I stayed. I didn’t want my mom to be lonely. Even with all the shit she was doing to me, some dumb part of me still wanted her to be happy.”

You were fully crying by this point, and so was Kyle. His stutters were now also broken up by the occasional quiet sob.

“Towards the end of high school it got more frequent. I guess I was starting to look more like my dad and she liked that. I was really struggling, but then I’d tell myself ‘it’s almost over. Just a few more months then you’re out of here. Go to college, live your life’. Because I wasn’t living, not really. I was existing. What life did I have at that point, really? My friends were all out meeting girls, hooking up, having fun whilst I was at home, fucking my mom.”

Your eyes widened. “Do not say that,” you said with a hard voice, even though it was evident that you were crying. “That is not what was happening. You weren’t ‘fucking your mom’. Your mom was hurting you in ways no parent ever should. She was taking advantage of your unadulterated love and trust for her own sick satisfaction. Nothing was your fault. Nothing. You were just a kid who wanted his mom to be happy and she exploited that.”

Kyle wiped his eyes with his sweater sleeve again, but it didn’t do much as more tears just replaced the ones he’d just brushed away. “I’m starting to get that now,” he mumbled. A pause. “It wasn’t my fault.”

You smiled slightly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

There was a silence amongst the two of you for a while, the only noise being Kyle’s sniffles. 

“What happened? When she died?” You finally asked. You could only dread what had happened.

“That’s still a sort of blur,” Kyle admitted. “She was touching me, I know that. She wouldn’t stop. And I guess I couldn’t take it anymore. So I grabbed something and hit her. And hit her. And hit her.”

You felt like a part of you should have been scared at the idea of Kyle’s uncontrollable behaviour, but you couldn’t be. You were almost proud. Kyle defended himself from his abuser, a sick, sick woman. How could you be mad or scared at that?

“I didn’t kill her because I was crazy or violent or evil,” He said. “I killed her because I was protecting myself.”

That was when Kyle completely broke down.

He just held his head in his hands as his sobs grew louder and louder. His body was hunched over, practically shaking and your heart broke at the sight of such a broken Kyle.

You wrapped your arms around Kyle in a tight embrace and pulled him towards you. His head rested on your shoulder as he cried and although you could feel the material of your shirt dampening from his tears you did not care. You needed to be there for Kyle, and that was what you were doing.

“It’s okay now, Kyle,” you murmured, gently rocking him back and forth in a comforting manner. “It’s okay, you’re safe. You’re okay. She can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe,” you kept repeating.

“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered to him. “That was very brave.”

•—————————————————————————•

I hope this was okay anon!

think this is the fic I'm most proud of. A lot of thought went into this one and I felt quite passionate about it. It was important to me that Kyle got to tell his own story and I hope I did that justice. This is the sort of scene I really wish was featured in the show. They introduced Kyle's abuse but give it no closure. I hope my fic can mirror the sort of closure that Kyle's abuse story deserved.

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#no lie I cried writing this #american horror story #ahs #kyle spencer #evan peters #kyle spencer x you #kyle spencer x y/n #kyle spencer x reader #tw abuse #tw sexual abuse #tate langdon #kit walker #jimmy darling #james patrick march #kai anderson

[kit-walk3r]

Warning: the Kyle fic I will be uploading later today goes into more detail about what happened with his mother than any of my other work has done, and a lot of Kyle fics I have read. I just wanted to put a caution out there because this could be rather triggering stuff and I want everyone to be well informed about what they’re in for. It talks about how it started, what happened and why Kyle never did anything to stop it. Please read with caution.

#american horror story #ahs #kyle spencer

[kit-walk3r]

Are the Evans team Barbie or team Oppenheimer?

It seems appropriate 😂

Barbie

Kit- Originally went to see Barbie because Julia wanted to but ended up loving it. Definitely cried. Loved seeing Barbie’s onscreen that looked like Julia, he could tell it made her happy. 100% had a crush on Margot Robbie after this.

Rory- Is actually one of the background Ken’s and won’t stop telling people. Drags all his friends and family to see it so he can point out himself in the background of a dance number for 10 seconds. Laughs out loud at every joke. Actively uses the phrase ‘Kenergy’.

Gallant- Barbie’s were his first subjects for styling hair so is super excited for the movie. Thinks he could have styled Margot Robbie’s hair better than the actual movie stylist. Everyone thinks he’s crushing on Ryan Gosling as Ken but he’s actually crushing on Michael Cera as Allan.

Peter- Knows all the words to I’m Just Ken. Has the Ken rollerblades and has attempted to run with them on but failed miserably. Is not ashamed to admit that he finds all of the Barbie’s attractive.

Oppenheimer

James- Actually remembers when the atomic bomb happened so is intrigued to see how they’ve translated it to film. Is disappointed that they don’t show the dead. Doesn’t understand why Oppenheimer feels guilty. Barbie is too bright, colourful and happy for him.

Kai- Barbie: a film about empowering women? Fuck that, Kai wants the movie with explosions. Pre-cult Kai would have cried seeing Florence Pugh naked. Considered changing his name from ‘Divine Ruler’ to ‘Death, Destroyer of Worlds’.

Barbenheimer

Tate- Really sees himself in Allen. Can relate to Oppenheimer’s guilt. Leaves both movies crying. Wants Ken’s hoodie that says “I’m Kenough”. Has an existential crisis leaving Barbie questioning who he is. Fears nuclear war after Oppenheimer.

Kyle- Did the Barbenheimer double bill. Secretly preferred Barbie to Oppenheimer but loved them both. Wore pink to Barbie. Gets excited every time he recognises an actor in Oppenheimer. Won’t shut up about both movies after he’s seen them and will fight people on the internet who insult them.

Jimmy- Team Barbie because he thinks every person in that movie is attractive. Team Oppenheimer because he actually loves a good biopic. Afterwards says he would definitely go to a Tupperware Party hosted by the Barbie’s.

Austin- Won’t stop talking about the Barbie soundtrack and costume design. Won’t stop talking about the theatrics of Oppenheimer. Won’t stop talking about Cillian Murphy’s eyes.

Colin- Empowering women!! Emily Blunt!! Colin definitely crushes on Emily Blunt and also loves a movie that empowers women so Barbie and Oppenheimer are his two perfect movies. Clapped at the end of both films.

•—————————————————————————•

Since I’ve seen both of the movies I thought this would be fun 🤭

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#american horror story #ahs #evan peters #tate langdon #kit walker #kyle spencer #jimmy darling #james patrick march #kai anderson #rory monahan #mr gallant #Colin zabel #Peter maximoff #barbenheimer