kindarecovery

[kindarecovery]

i am so fucking tired of feeling nervous. all i ever feel are varying degrees of nervousness

#im so tired of my brain and how it has learnt to work

[kindarecovery]

Anais Nin, Mirages: The Unexpurgated Diary of Anais Nin, 1939-1947

[kindarecovery]

i feel like i can’t be close to anyone at all anymore in any way and i am so fucking sad. i just want to be held close and feel close and cry close.

[kindarecovery]

“touching the pain is part of the healing process”

#t #reminder

[kindarecovery]

i dont feel like im getting happier but i do know im getting more stable and it’s annoying but i think maybe hopefully that means eventually ill feel the good more consistently one day

[kindarecovery]

my worry is eating away at my stomach lmao

[kindarecovery]

man for once im pretty sure why my body is throwing a fit and exactly what i need doctors to check for but its such a lose lose situation bc i dont want to have to deal with it if im right and if im not right and they say its nothing ill lose it lmao

[kindarecovery]

i am getting better, one day i will start feeling better too.

[kindarecovery]

idea: i got top surgery one day and tell my mom its to avoid breast cancer? lmaoo

#but rly #like we’ve talked about that before LMAO

[kindarecovery]

words that feel like a hug

#robyn #reminder

[kindarecovery]

everything makes me want to hit things which means i know im frustrated which is probably why ive been wanting to hurt myself but i dont know why im so fucking frustrated and i dont know what i need or what will help and that makes me more frustrated and everything sucks and i hate being nervous of myself

#im trying so hard to know that this will pass but like #will it really lmao

[kindarecovery]

i stumped the crisis call worker LMAO

#i should not find this funny but i will take what i can get

[kindarecovery]

‪at least u love me in my dreams‬

[kindarecovery]

“Your art isn’t valued by the number of notes you get” okay but. If you spent 6 hours baking a cake for a party, but no one at the party eats your cake, it’s still disappointing.

#afsgdhjsj

[kindarecovery]

tomorrow

need to:

- trim fish, stella, and boba’s nails

- sweep

- dishes

- scoop cat litter

- medsmedsmedsmeds

- save my damn fucking plants

could do but could also do tuesday:

- talk to TL krista about KV & their gender supports (kv neeeeeds more) AND mention being open to supporting the program

- text TL erin about completing umab training

- calllllllllllllll laundry places & ask about services

- call ksac back

-

#list

[kindarecovery]

STILL HAVENT DONE IT BUT STILL TRYING

im gonna get groceries this weekend and take myself on a picnic.

[kindarecovery]

robyn keeps on saying i need to externalize my feelings somehow but any time i try or want to my brain becomes mush and i feel Nothing im so annoyed

#i just want to make art fuck #but i physically cannot #body is made of bricks