killingmyselfbutnotdying

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

"Not wanted" is a pretty shitty thing a person can feel

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

THE GOOD PLACE 4.09 | The Funeral to End All Funerals

#never not reblogging #the good place

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

Im sorry for repeating myself but i hate hate hate when i feel that nobody wants me to be around. Like. Nobody invites me anywhere, but then acts worried when i dont look well. Nobody calls me to their team, but then says that "you arent mad, right? This isnt personal". Well if its a pattern, it feels fucking personal. Seriously, the worst feeling ever. "Not wanted". Well, i want to be wanted. I want to be important to people. I want them to miss me when im not there. I want to feel loved and cherished, the way i love and cherish my loved ones.

#tw anxiety #tw depression #anxiety #im sorry for ranting its just freshmens camp teampicking and so far noone picked me #and im on the verge of crying and throwing up #fun times 👍 #i hate my mind #i hate having these thoughts #i hate depression #fuck my brain #fucking brain chemistry

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

My current aromantic emotion

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

hi :)

( @aroacesafeplaceforall one of you wanted to be tagged in these )

Thank you i love the notes!!!

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

why yes I AM making boop gifs from screen recording

#pinned post. to me.

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

My favorite part about being sapphic is when the things I love about other women become things I love about myself. One day I was tracing another woman’s stretch marks in a dim bedroom light. And then, seemingly by accident, I was doing it to myself in my bathroom mirror. I loved the feeling of a full hand of flesh when I grabbed a woman’s hips, and then mine didn’t need to be so skinny anymore. I looked at a woman’s lower stomach pudge and thought it was so soft and cute, then never wanted a flat stomach again. Loving women can be so healing when you come from a world that doesn’t.

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

#“your friend dont hate you” #ask them for help

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

Can somebody tell me why the fuck am i always nauseous? Like all day, 24/7. You'd think it depends on my eating schedule, but nooo. I'll be just chilling in my bed and fighting the urge to throw up. I really don't want to, but hell, i'll try if the situation won't get better.

#fun times #cw nausea #tw nausea #i love anxiety #so fun <3 #(sarcastic)

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

#happy world down syndrome day!

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

omg we are both fucked in the head wanna make out

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

I have an extraculliculare course called (P)Cinema, where we watch movies with psychological themes and today we watched The danish girl. Previously, I always came out of the class annoyed with my classmates (they had questionable thoughts about autism and trauma response), so naturally i was anxious about their reaction to a trans story (we live in a very conservative country, thanks eastern europe). But to my pleasent surprise, everyone was so great! They didn't understand the whole think, but had a lot of good questions and it was obvious, they were trying to learn more about transness. And also, when we talked about LGBTQ+, the teacher mentioned aros too!! I genuinely did not expect it and had to physically stop myself from screaming "WAHOOO!". So, yeah 🫶

#so props to the next generation of doctors for being more open minded #also it was a great movie methinks #not historically accurate but still

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

Currently fighting the urge to apologize to one of my best friends for crying in front of them yesterday. I know i shouldnt, but i feel so guilty, i fear i ruined their night. Maybe i should just thank them for comforting me

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

Wow thank you so much, this made my day, I'm honored 🥹🫶

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

16 year old me thought current me was gonna be so great and do amazing things and here I am just rotting in bed all day

#no way 16 year old me didnt think id make this far

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#what am i supposed to do when we have a patients basically our age? #it feels to say ön #but it feels to say te too #oughhh i hate it

[killingmyselfbutnotdying]

-- bracket 4 preliminaries --

Dear

everyone's got a thing // a thing they don't like // a thing that makes them stand in front of the sink // with tears in their eyes

Advice

i know you're trying to help // i think that's really nice // but i know myself // i don't need your advice

#as selfish as it is #i need it for my health #and i have stuff to do #for me nobody else!!!! #i love advice #cavetown #it speaks to me on a different level