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We've been working with toddler on using his words instead of screaming when something happens that he doesn't like

Which has lead to:

Toddler, upon accidentally dropping a toy: ANGER ANGER ANGER!

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I’ve been re-reading ASOIAF and honestly? nothing is as funny as Jon Snow, who was initially so gung-ho about being a Main Character, just slowly being like “fuck this, fuck that, fuck all of it” once he realizes what being a Main Character involves. baby boy is out here getting promoted by destiny every time he turns around and he has had ENOUGH

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Jon & Daenerys Valyrian wedding ♡

(Commission from twitter)

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at the end of the day i think the reason we’re all so obsessed w jon snow in the books is the inherent comedy of the Chosen One being sent to magical boarding school and just hating every minute of it. he’s not realizing his full magical girl potential he’s just exhausted. mans is TIRED. there’s a literal giant camping out in his front yard and he’s stressing over salt beef. there is an uber hot magical witch actively trying to seduce him and he’s just like ‘omg ygritte had red hair… im going to kms’. he is actively becoming a wolf. like straight up animorphing into his pet dog. and he doesn’t give a shit he’s like ‘hm that’s weird’ and then he gets distracted smelling satins’ hair again. easily the most character of all time. god.

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will I ever stop falling headfirst into obsession with dark haired fictional men full of trauma and a need for love? no, no I will not

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they’re on their way to burn down the red keep

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asoiaf is so funny. you have your 2 basic fantasy protagonists but the one with all the fantasy tools is so separated from the fantasy plot she's basically in a different genre. and the other one is taking out loans for beets and ignoring his chosen one status so hard he gets stabbed over it.

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Rating asoiaf characters based on how likely they are to use pocket sand:

Jon Snow - my hot take is that people are very delusional and wrong about Jon. It’s not that he’s too “honorable” or “good” to use pocket sand in a fight coz he’s definitely not above using dirty tricks. But you gotta ask, which Jon is it? Agot-acok!Jon is def not using pocket sand because he thinks it’s dishonorable and a coward’s weapon. Asos!Jon is 8/10 gonna use pocket sand because fuq honor. Adwd and beyond!Jon is 0/10….he’s got something far more devious in his pockets - broken shards of glass.

Dany - yeah she’s using it, 7/10. She’s a smart girl. Like her actions in Astapor and Meereen show that she’s not above using dirty tricks to get ahead. Now how much pocket sand is she willing to use and against who? That’s the question…I can see her hesitating if her opponent is a small child.

Arya - for sure using pocket sand 10/10. There’s no denying it. She’s actually studied which types of sand are the best suited for different situations. But she’s quick enough that people don’t know what happened until she’s far away.

Bran - he doesn’t even know what pocket sand is so 0/10

Sansa - she knows what pocket sand is but she’s usually not willing to use it because it gets her clothes and hands dirty. If she’s really pushed…maybe? 2/10 but she’d gladly watch someone else do it

Robb - oh 20/10 using it no doubt. He’s been pushing Jon to get on the pocket sand trend for years to no avail

Theon - went with Robb to the pocket sand factory for a boys’ date out. 20/10 using it and with RELISH

Ned Stark - knows what pocket sand is, is unwilling to use it himself, but will turn the other way when he sees his buddy whip it out 0/10

Cat - yeah she’s using it, I’m not willing to debate over this 10/10

Davos - um yeah 10/10 using it….look sometimes you have to use all the tools available to you to survive

Jaime - trick question because which Jaime? Pre-hand chop Jaime? Won’t use it on principle. It’s cowardly and stupid. Post-hand chop Jaime? Yeah….he’s using it because he has to so 8/10

Brienne - look she doesn’t want to use it, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do 6/10

Pod - *confused* “why would anyone carry sand in their pockets to a fight?” 0/10

Howland Reed - was actually the one who invented the best sand for it and is mass producing it. Probably used it to defeat Arthur Dayne 100/10

Meera - come on, she’s swamp person and howland’s kid so 20/10 using pocket sand

Bronn - involved in an MLM to sell pocket sand 100/10

Tyrion - the one who founded the MLM and recruited Bronn so 200/10

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Some cute and playful Jon and Daenerys, if that suits you?

She's helping him get ready or something

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lil jon things i am obsessed with/think are hilarious in the order they occurred to me at 3 am

-spends the first book telling anyone who will listen that he’s Not Afraid To Die and then a wight shoves its whole hand down his throat and he’s like wow that was actually extremely scary and never says that shit again

-always got little Things he says to himself but they’re all awful. very bad affirmation game no wonder morale is low

-“did lord eddard father you on a fish wife”

-the doubts that plague me can’t catch me if i just keep making Decisions!!! let’s hear it for Decisions!!!!

-arguably contender for top woman respecter but batting absolute zero at successfully comforting crying women. unless you consider “making her mad at you instead of upset” a success

-i’m not a wolf! i’m not a wolf!! i’m not a wolf!!! while warging like almost constantly with zero control. babe i don’t think your affirmations are working you’re experiencing non consensual smells at an alarming rate

-i wish mormont was my dad wait no i wish benjen was my dad wait no i wish qhorin was my dad wait no i wish donal noye was my dad. will someone be my dad please i just keep making decisions

-constantly having Agonies over ethical decision making while the rest of the continent hasn’t even really invented the concept of ethics yet? on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to his constant Agonies

-related: love is the death of duty but having strong ethical convictions/clear moral vision is also kind of the death of duty oops! aemon didn’t warn you about that one!

-stannis wants to davosify this kid mega bad

-“jon felt like he was fifteen again” (said when he’s literally sixteen)

-has a terrible violence in his heart but it’s kind of the least of his problems tbh. like yeah my fire and blood levels are a little elevated but i’ve got paperwork i need to take care of

-RUNNING DOWN THE TABLE AT YOU WITH A KNIFE!!!!!

-last of the giants fixation. god he’s gonna be so mad when he comes back and wun wun is dead. this one isn’t hilarious it’s deeply moving and endearing

-an eagle almost rips his eye out and he’s like well i guess i have no choice but to have sex with ygritte at least one dozen times. it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it

-just a crazy amount of anime main character pre-loaded swag (bastard of winterfell skin changer with an albino direwolf and a cool sword which he can really SWANG and cool facial scars etc etc) and is actively working against it. rolled super high on charisma and is trying to balance it out by being as much of a boring fuddy duddy as he possibly can. the devil works hard (at making me cool) but i work harder (at being very uncool). it is an honorable thing to be swagless by choice…….

-pretty sure he actively enjoys saying no to people. just for love of the game (the game is being disagreeable). very capricorn coded. likely brushes his teeth in the shower.

-REMEMBER WE KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP 😈

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Jonerys I made for a friend

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jon has no idea how he ended up here. daenerys is not sweating it.

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i don't know how else to say it: jon snow comes from two long lines of reckless magical bullshit and is basically a melting pot of feral royal blood but that's less important than the fact that he was raised by ned stark.

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been so obsessed lately with young griff/aegon "blackfyre" targaryen vi... its bc the idea of a pisswater peasant, a Foreign girl, and a bastard becoming the next targaryen triumvirate is... Rad As Hell, Actually

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god gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers (i’ve had to focus for more than five minutes)

#finals week #kill my brain #uni is hard #ann rambles #finals have me fighting for my life #gifted kid burnout hit hard #ugh fml

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There are actually hundreds of “chosen ones” born when one is needed. This is usually because the big bad endeavors to kill them all. However, this time all of the “chosen ones” survive to adulthood, and now no one really knows what to do about it.

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