katsune-nya

[katsune-nya]

Title: Falling Into Place

Pairing: Shinichiro x Reader

Summary: A few misfortunate and fortunate events lead to you dating the leader of the Black Dragon. It turns out it’s not so bad. | Genre: Fluff | Warning: Bullying, some light angst | Words: 17.3K

‘Are we going to make one for Sano as well?’

Your hand that had just put your school shoes into your shoe locker paused briefly.  

When you came into the hallway to change your shoes, you did notice several girls from the B-class standing together and talking about something. Still, you did your best to ignore them, hoping they wouldn’t see you. You wished it was that easy. You wouldn’t bother them, and they would leave you alone, but you weren’t always that lucky.

You knew some of them from elementary and middle school, and it seemed with every year you were unfortunate enough to end up in the same school as them, they’ve only gotten worse. Even those you didn’t know personally growing up, you still knew to some extent. If only because they were all the same.

Mean, untrustworthy followers with obnoxious giggles. 

You were grateful that now in high school, you, at the very least, were lucky enough to end up in the A-class where it seemed the girls were much nicer or at least not as much under the influence of one girl in particular. The girl that was the sole reason you paid attention to what they were about to say, sensing something shitty and shady was coming.

‘What? Sano?’ asked the girl in that sweet voice you long since knew was just an act, just as everything else about her, ‘Well, I would love to. But I don’t support delinquents!’ she even added a little giggle at the end, causing some of the other girls who were standing around her to laugh as well. You rolled your eyes at her fake kindness.

‘I guess he will just remain a loser for Valentine’s Day too,’ said another one of your classmates just as you closed your locker shut, sparking another outburst of giggles from some of the girls and for you to frown even if you didn’t say anything and instead left so you didn’t have to be in the presence of those girls a moment longer.

‘Goodbye, y/n-chan. Have a nice day,’ called that girl with her sweet voice after you, and you had no choice but to wave at her and mumble a goodbye. You heard her comment on it. Something like that’s okay. She’s shy like that, and you force yourself to continue to walk, hoping you would be out of her mind, too, if you were out of her sight.

Stepping outside the school and breathing the fresh air you didn’t have to share with that girl and her followers was soul-cleansing.

You supposed everyone experienced a girl like that every once in their lives. Someone who always gathered a following and admiration from girls and boys alike. She always seemed to have it all together, a good and secure family, lots of friends, exciting experiences and vacations, and good grades, and everyone seemed to buy into her sweet persona. Everyone but you, it seemed.

This girl was like that ever since you knew her, and as shameful as it was to admit it yourself, it did take you a couple of years to correctly figure it out and see her for who she really was.

Before, you supposed you were one of her followers or at least getting there until, for some reason, she decided to exclude you from the group and make you a target instead. She had to have a reason. She had a reason for everything she did, but you never really understood why. Either way, you always told yourself you were better off especially given what you just heard.

Now, every time you heard or noticed another one of the mean tricks, she liked to pull on people unfortunate enough to simply met her in life, you couldn’t help but think about all those things she did before, even those you didn’t think were all that mean or cruel at the time, in a new light.

Are we going to make one for Sano?

No way!

Those words and that obnoxious giggle haunted you all the way home as you recalled your past experiences with that girl.

You knew what she was planning since something similar already took place in middle school. Back then, you two were classmates, and you naively believed friends because of how friendly and sweet she was. She suggested you and your female classmates should bake giri choco (obligatory chocolates) for every boy in your class so they wouldn’t feel excluded if they didn’t have anyone who wanted to confess to them.

Back then, it sounded like such a nice gesture. You really admired her for being such a good person. Of course, all the other girls agreed, and you all baked chocolates and handed them out on Valentine’s Day.

Everyone was happy and praised her for how nice and thoughtful she was to suggest such an idea. Even the teachers seemed impressed. You were impressed. Even if some of you were slightly disappointed since that was the year you tried to gather the courage to make chocolate for your crush. The friendly and funny boy who lived two houses from you and used to play with you behind his house. You liked him a lot and for a really long time, and you were hopeful that he might like you back. In the end, even if you couldn’t confess that year, you were glad to see so many people were in a good mood, and you took part in making it happen. It really boosted your self-esteem and made you giddy.

And besides, you told yourself, there was always next year. You weren’t going to be selfish after all.

Then a month later came White Day, and the boys, following the girls’ example, gave out white chocolates and other sweets to every single girl except for you.

You were shocked and humiliated, waiting for every single break until the last one when you would find something on your desk or your school bag, only to be crushed when you were the only one left without any gift at the end of the day. You didn’t understand it. Sure, you weren’t confident or naïve enough to expect a confession from your crush or anyone else. Still, at the very least, you did expect a reciprocate chocolate like all your classmates.

Your self-esteem and mood hit their lowest by the end of the school day when everyone talked about what they got and played a guessing game of which boy gave out their sweets, only for you to put your shoes on with a red face and tears threatening to break out of your eyes. You remembered being so confused, hurt, mortified, and upset.

As if the cruel fate wasn’t done with you just yet, that girl pointed out how weird it was and told you not to be sad that you ‘were the only one’ who didn’t get anything loud enough for every girl to hear and take pity on you.

At that moment, just as some girls patted your back or tried to hug you, reassuring you not to feel too bad about it, you saw that girl’s tiny smile. You thought it was cruel of her to smile when you were this upset. It was the first time you thought of her as anything other than a sweet and good person and friend.

It wasn’t until graduation that one of your classmates said she asked around and heard that someone spread the word that you didn’t participate in giving out the chocolate and, therefore, shouldn’t get any on White Day. By then, you were a target of some other jokes, so you already knew what that girl was all about and that she was behind this all.

It wasn’t the first time you heard about something that girl was planning. Although you knew it was shitty of her, you weren’t the type to tell on her, fearing what she might do to hurt you if she found out. You already ended up as her target a few times, and it was soul-crushing, to say the least.

At times, you often wished you were someone else. Someone braver who could stand up to her and who others would believe, but even in your fantasies, you more often than not allowed insecurities and self-doubt to win, imagining everyone calling you a liar and taking her side.

Sighing, you knew there wasn’t anything you could do. Not really, at least.

But...Sano-san will be hurt if he’s the only one without chocolate.

It shouldn’t bother you all that much.

You didn’t know Sano that well, apart from living in the same area and often ending up in the same schools. You two were always in different classes. You probably never even spoke directly to each other. You had a faded memory that you and a few other kids played tag together, but by then, you couldn’t even be sure about that.

And he was a delinquent. Everyone knew he was a part of the Black Dragon, their leader, so that should have been an immediate red flag that he wasn’t a good person, and everyone should stay away, but… 

You found yourself chewing on your lips nervously while walking home, taking the extended tour to gather your thoughts a bit.

Remember how much it sucked when you were excluded from something?

You crossed your arms, hoping you wouldn’t start to cry about something that happened back in middle school now, and instead thought about what you could do, missing the increasing sound of an approaching motorcycle.

‘Hey, look out!’ someone called. Before you knew it, you were pulled toward something solid and warm simultaneously as something fast and loud speeded by your ear, causing you to cower even more into the warmth, fearing you would get hit.

‘Fucker!’ you heard a male curse close to your other ear. You blinked a couple of times before glancing up, only to find Sano Shinichiro frowning at something in front of him.

You were stunned and confused, wondering if you mentally somehow brought the boy to your path by thinking about him and what that girl was planning so hard, only to realize that you were extremely close to him. In fact, given the pressure you felt around your shoulders and the warmth against your chest, side, and belly that seemed to pay no attention to the fact that you still had your uniform on, you realized he was holding you. You were in his arms.

‘S-Sano-san, w-what-what-?’ you stuttered, feeling your face grow red at the realization that Sano Shinichiro, a boy, this boy, was holding you against his chest with his body pressed into yours and his face so close you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to.

His dark eyes blinked, and before you could finish your questions, they were on you, and well, they were dark.

Your own eyes blinked, and your words drifted into silence as you were met with his gaze for the first time, noticing that Sano Shinichiro’s eyes were really dark. It wasn’t uncommon to have dark eyes in this country, but for some reason, you couldn’t help but think you didn’t often see dark eyes that were so pretty.

Upon meeting yours, that frown that was causing his brows to furrow and wrinkles over his forehead smoothed out, and his dark eyes obtained a very soft look.

Handsome, your mind supplied. Sano Shinichiro was lovely when he had this soft look inside his pretty dark eyes.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, and once again, you could only blink, feeling out of character with yourself over what was happening, ‘W-what?’

‘He was driving like a maniac. He almost caught you that close to the sidewalk,’ he said, and you blinked again, taking his words and their meaning in realizing he probably saved you from the potential harm of some reckless driver. You wouldn’t even see it coming.

‘Oh, thank you,’ you said and felt the shock sustaining only for embarrassment and self-awareness to catch on, ‘Uh,’ you swallowed, worried your face was as red as a tomato before you finally said, ‘You can let me go now.’

That soft look disappeared as his eyes widened twice their size, and Sano pushed you away from him so fast you felt a bit hurt, ‘S-sorry, I didn’t mean to… I swear I’m not…like that!’

You pushed your personal feelings aside, realizing he probably was worried you would think he was a pervert for holding you that long. Not to mention you took pity on him knowing how often you worried what people might think about you, ‘It’s alright. You still saved my life, I think. Thank you.’

He reached to the back of his head and scratched his neck, looking really shy and uncomfortable now, ‘It’s fine. I’m glad you’re alright, y/l/n.’

You raised your eyebrows, unable to hide your surprise, ‘You know my name?’

Sano dark eyes shifted to your face again, ‘Of course, we’ve been in the same school since kindergarten. Never in the same class, though. It’s a bit funny,’ he chuckled, and a relaxed smile took hold of his face.

It suits him.

‘Yes, strange,’ you said, momentarily hypnotized by him. It was the first time you spoke to one another, engaged in contact, and overall shared an experience which must have been why it felt so odd.

You straightened yourself and fixed your school uniform, trying to gain some composure, ‘Well, have a nice day. I need to go home.’

It wasn’t the whole truth, but you didn’t know how to end the moment like this.

Sano didn’t seem to mind offering you another smile and a lazy but calm goodbye wave. Despite his reputation, he had a relaxed and positive aura around him. One you couldn’t seem to escape either.

‘Hey, you did?’ asked Sano and snatched some bags out of the hands of someone who must have been in the same gang as him even if that person didn’t even ask him to, ‘I was thinking about your problem and maybe….’

He and his friend got too far for you to hear, but it all still left an impact, wondering if you shouldn’t have warned him.

Wouldn’t you be more prepared if someone warned you that you were about to be singled out on White Day? Wouldn’t you somehow manage to skip school just to avoid the humiliation and spare some of your feelings? Wouldn’t you be grateful that you still had at least one ally despite everything?

You were too much of a coward to come up to Sano and tell him what that girl was planning to do. You couldn’t leave a note because there might be a chance that he would show it to someone and recognize your handwriting. He might have been a delinquent, but you knew about his failed attempts at confessing and how heavily he was ridiculed about it behind his back. You doubted even someone like him would manage to survive a mocking from that girl. In your mind, you couldn’t imagine anyone would.

You didn’t realize you stayed in the same spot looking at him until he turned around and looked back right at you.

Shocked, you realized it would seem like you were watching him leave, which you were, but not because you were just caught up in your thoughts.

About him… but not like THAT!

You turned around and ran, hoping you could save your face at least a little bit.

It really isn’t your problem. You barely know him, and he’s a delinquent. The Leader of Black Dragons.

You stopped yourself since you felt you were being unfair and lying to yourself a bit.

It was hard to explain because his gang friends did partake in the usual activities of minor vandalism, petty crimes, and other delinquent activities; you couldn’t help but think Sano was a decent enough guy. You did see him around the neighborhood. A delinquent or not, you did notice he was friendly to locals, caring, always asking them about their day and sparing precious time humoring them with a chat.

You knew he had three younger siblings he often dealt with and took care of and a grandfather who ran a dojo and was well respected and liked around.

You just couldn’t really label him a just delinquent, not when you could recall so many instances when he was more than that. And this was without you two being friends or talking. Something told you he might be a really good person.

 Besides…he just saved your life, knew your name, and he was-

-your mind supplied the image of his relaxed smile and the soft look in his dark eyes-

Nice.

Like so nice!

Talking to him gave you a comfortable warmth even if you were struggling with your dilemma.

I didn’t deserve to be excluded like that, and neither does Sano, you decided.

Seeing no other option, you came to your kitchen and pulled out some recipe book making Sano Shinichiro homemade chocolate.

Ridiculous, you kept on telling yourself.

It was ridiculous that because of the whole mess in middle school, you were never brave enough to actually make chocolate for your crush. Even an obligatory one that couldn’t be used against you, but here you were working on Sano’s. It must have been the near-death experience and him being your hero with dark eyes-

Don’t think about it! You warned yourself. You were crushing on your classmate, a goodhearted and sweet boy who had lived two houses from your own since middle school, and one of these years, you would have the courage to confess to him or move on. Just because Sano wasn’t so bad didn’t mean he was as good as your crush, and crushing on more than one person seemed selfish, right?

But you finished, and based on some testing, the chocolate turned out pretty good. Definitely even better than when you were in middle school.

You saved my life, Sano-san. Now we’re even.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You planned to come to school early and drop the chocolate into Sano’s shoe locker, hoping even delinquents checked those before rushing away. No one would see you. No one would know. Sano would have chocolate just like everyone else. That girl’s malice plan would fail, and you would perhaps gain some good karma for your troubles, maybe in the form of your crush speaking with you on his own for once.

You were pretty sure about your plan, thinking it was more or less bulletproof, making sure not to look too interested in the news that those lovely girls from 3-B gave everyone chocolate up until your lunch break. Mentally, you praised yourself for executing such a rescue mission.

You knew something was up when you heard some of the boys who were eating by their desks whispering about something.

‘You know, y/n-chan,’ started that girl later that day, suddenly appearing by your desk without her usual flock of girls as her entourage.

By all those years you spent in her presence, you knew this meant she was about to do something she didn’t want anyone to witness, and even if you tried to be brave, it made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

You offered her your most disinterested face as you turned toward her smiling one you once thought was so pretty but now knew for a fact was just her being malice, ‘You should only give chocolate to people you like or everyone. It’s rather cruel to bring Sano-san’s hopes up like that.’

Your façade cracked as you frowned at the girl gathering some courage, even if not nearly as much as you would have liked, ‘Crueler than excluding him simply because you think you have some imaginary power?’

‘Well, it’s not my fault Sano-san is involved with gangs and such. Actions have consequences, and acting in such a way can really cause a person to be excluded, you know?’ she asked, looking as sweet as honey. Still, you were pretty sure she wasn’t talking just about Sano.

You watched her for a while before she giggled, ‘But that’s not the point, you know? You shouldn’t give chocolate to people you don’t like, y/n-chan. If you were going to single someone out. Wouldn’t you have picked someone else?’

She watched you like she knew a secret, which you thought was impossible because you never spoke or hinted that you were crushing on your classmate, your crush, even when you were friends.

She doesn’t know. She’s just being her usual self, trying to get under my skin. 

But then she giggled and looked ahead, and as much as you hated it, your eyes followed as well. There were three boys standing in front of another of your classmate’s desks, so you could have been looking at anyone, but when your eyes moved back, she was already looking at you like a canary who caught the mice, ‘It’s not very nice to get someone’s hopes up.’

You thought that was rather ominous and feared retaliation. Still, when she didn’t say anything else and gave you a friendly wave, you could only watch her leave with a sinking heart before your gazes returned to your crush.

Your nerves were getting the best of you, and your imagination created all sorts of scenarios about what she could have planned for you. When you received a note in your shoe locker at the end of the day, you didn’t even bother reading it and immediately tossed it into the trash.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class.

As if!

Like hell, you were stupid enough to be left anywhere without witnesses now.

You instead rushed home, watching your back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, you ensured you never had to use the bathroom by sipping as little water as possible. And made sure you were always supervised during class during breaks. It worked since you sprinted down to your shoe lock after class only to find another note.

Come and meet me behind the east wall after class. 

Was she seriously trying to do the same thing twice? Well, she did use the same thing she tried in middle school on Valentine’s Day, so it was possible she wasn’t above repeating some things. But it did leave you puzzled.

It’s a trick…right?

Surely, her plan was to get you alone, and you were too cautious to fall for that. You tossed the message away and rushed home repeating everything you did yesterday, except this time, just as you were discussing if you could take a sip of some water, Sano Shinichiro appeared in your classroom, causing some of the boys to bow to him before he stopped by your desk with that relaxed smile on his face, ‘What will it take for you to come to meet me behind the east wall after the damn class?’

Your eyes widened, and your mouth parted, ‘T-that was you?’

Sano blinked, and a slight wrinkle appeared across his face as he frowned, unclear if he was confused or upset, ‘Who else did you think it was?’

Your eyes betrayed you once again, only this time your gaze followed to the door to your classroom, where one of the followers always waited to see if you would leave the room’s safety.

When you saw out of the corner of your eyes that Sano did the same, the girl quickly cowered away. She might have been brave enough to laugh behind his back. Still, just like many other people, she took the fact that Sano was a gang leader seriously enough not to get at odds with him.

It wasn’t the first time you noticed one of the girls from 3-B came to your classroom in the last two days, and you were still unsure what she planned to do if you decided to leave the room, but you didn’t like that she would now go report back to her leader and the other girls.

‘Hey,’ a warm palm suddenly appeared on your shoulder, bringing you back to the moment, ‘Are you alright?’

His frown was smoothed out, but it appeared there was something close to concern in his dark eyes as they traveled through your face trying to read you.

‘Yes,’ you lied, unsure how to explain to someone like Sano what was happening.

He watched you for a second longer as if giving you time to come clean which you couldn’t before he took a deep breath and nodded, taking his hand off you, ‘Behind the east wall after class. Be there, or I’ll come to your house.’

You blinked and leaned away, startled by that idea, ‘Don’t say stuff like that. It’s creepy.’

He blinked before he brushed the back of his head, looking sheepish, ‘I just meant... Just be there, alright?’

You decided to give him a break and nodded, ‘I will,’ your gaze shifted toward the door again, but the girl didn’t return, ‘Be there on time, please.’

‘I will. No worries,’ he assured you with ease, but you genuinely believed him for some reason. You didn’t know much about delinquents besides the rumors and bad reputation, but you assumed that for someone to become a gang leader, they had to be strong and responsible on some level.

You watched Sano leave, wondering what he could want to talk about. Did the girls tell him he wasn’t supposed to get chocolate, and he wanted to thank you? Did they steal it, and he never got it? But you were sure you heard all the boys got it this year from 3-B…, so what gives?

 You changed your shoes and met Sano behind the east wall, where he greeted you with that relaxed smile and sincere look behind his eyes. Oddly, whatever worries you had about what he could possibly want, melted away, at least until he opened his mouth.

‘I brought you this,’ he said. Suddenly, he pushed a white desert box and a plushie of your favorite animal into your arms, ‘I should have waited for March, I know, but I really couldn’t.’

Your eyes blinked as he carried on looking like a nervous wreck with the trembling, rambling, and rubbing of the back of his head messing his styled hair, ‘You were truly thoughtful, and I felt…I still feel really shitty that I didn’t ask you out myself first.’

Strange. He looks nothing like a gang leader now, you thought to yourself, realizing that the corners of your mouth lifted.

You opened your mouth and tried to speak as his words started to make sense, ‘My captains would riot if they knew their leader didn’t make the first move. Damn, it’s so uncool. I asked like twenty girls, and I should have…I should have asked you instead. Pathetic,’ he cursed at himself before his dark eyes widened, and he quickly clarified, ‘I’m pathetic, not you. You… you’re sweet and great.’

You raised your brows, finally managing a ‘You don’t really know me-’ in between his speech, but Sano didn’t waste time and quickly said, ‘I asked around about you.’

Somehow that was like a punch into the stomach that knocked all the air out of you as you suddenly realized what was happening and who was behind this.

You dropped the items in a moment of recklessness and covered Sano’s mouth with your palm, dread creeping into your heart and goosebumps covering your skin, ‘Did the girls in your class tell you about me? You can’t trust them… they’re…they….they play games, and don’t like me.’

Sano’s dark eyes widened a fraction before they dropped, seemingly looking at your palm on his mouth.

Startled, you pulled it away and stepped back, ‘They just… don’t like me.’

Sano frowned a bit, seemingly confused, ‘They said nice things about you.’

You looked away and sighed, wondering why did you bother in the first place. No guy would understand, ‘Trust me,’ you said and crossed your arms over your chest, thinking about their fake smiles and acts of kindness that they were lacking, not to mention their attempts at humiliating you or others, ‘girls aren’t as simple as you guys.’

‘Hey!’ he started, but when your eyes lifted toward him, there was no fight in his posture or expression. He merely rubbed the back of his head, ‘Well, I don’t know much about girls, so I can’t really say much about it.’

You nodded, glad he at least admitted such a thing.

He looked so uncertain now; before, he was nervous but giddy now; he seemed almost lost, ‘Are they like bullying you?’

‘No,’ you said all too quickly. You were unsure. Before, in middle school, you experienced some really shitty things from them. You were sure they bullied you back then, but now it just seemed like they were ignoring you or whispering their bullshit behind your back.

‘Okay. Is it…did I offend you because I didn’t ask you out before?’

You bit the inside of your mouth. You weren’t offended. You honestly didn’t really think about Sano asking girls around. Still, even if he was a delinquent, it was nice to have his attention for a moment right now. It was nice to have any attention, to be completely honest. You would graduate in a few months, and it felt like you were behind on the many things your classmates seemed to achieve. Logically, you knew it wasn’t a big deal and that many people were just late bloomers, but it sucked so damn much to be left out of things all the time.

You didn’t even kiss anyone or go on a single date. You had some friends but knew you weren’t overly liked or missed if you didn’t come to school. You were really lonely if you allowed yourself to think about it too much.

Your eyes fell on your gifts; at least someone thought they wouldn’t mind dating me.

You kneeled down and picked up the items before you returned them to him, ‘I don’t need you to give me anything. To be honest, I just gave you the chocolate because you saved my life the other day.’

And I didn’t want you to feel left out like I do, you thought but refused to say. He would feel bad, and he was lovely in this weird boyish way that seemed to be getting under your skin.

Sano’s face became unreadable, and you genuinely felt terrible, so you tried to explain, ‘I like someone else. Sort of.’

‘Like a boyfriend?’ he Sano, his face still not back to his previous relaxed self, but he sounded more or less like himself. It still made you feel shitty and wonder if you had made a mistake by telling him.

‘Like an unrequired crush,’ you clarified, ‘So don’t feel bad about not asking me out sooner.’

The dark-haired boy still didn’t seem too convinced, but he nodded, ‘I see,’ then, to your delight, he startled to laugh a bit and grinned at you, ‘You know I must have thought up about fifty outcomes for how this would go. This was not it.’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’m just glad I didn’t get jumped or something.’

‘Come on, a bunch of high school girls can’t be that bad,’ he said and waved his hand while you rolled your eyes, ‘Clearly, you never became any girl’s target for bullying.’

He snatched the chocolate from you but nodded at the plushie, ‘Keep it. I still owe you something for the chocolate. It was delicious. Where did you buy it?’

You smiled, feeling your heart swell with pride, ‘I made it. If I was about to give anyone a chocolate, I would do it right.’

Sano opened the desert box and shoved some content into his mouth before offering you some as well.

You supposed there was no harm in that.

‘It was terrific. Your crush must be lucky.’

‘I never gave him any,’ you said and tasted some of the store-bought chocolate. It was good, but homemade was better, ‘It’s too-’

‘Sweet,’ finished Sano with a nod but took another one, ‘How come you never gave your crush any? Isn’t Valentine’s Day a perfect opportunity for that?’

You looked away, ‘It’s…just a crush.’

‘Well,’ Sano watched you for a while, and even if you couldn’t see his face, his voice was very upbeat and supportive, ‘if it’s half as good as the one you gave me, he would have to have dead taste buds not to love it.’

You crushed the plushie of your favorite animal closer to your chest as you felt heat enter your cheeks. It felt good to be praised like that, ‘Thank you, Sano-kun.’

‘Call me Shinichiro,’ he said and put his hand on your shoulder, startling you into looking at him, ‘And he’ll especially love it if it’s coming from such a sweet and nice girl like you, y/n-chan.’

Your eyes blinked several times really fast as a strange warmth spread across your chest. You couldn’t recall the last time some boy used your first name like that or said such a nice thing about you.

Your face burned, and you would much rather Sano wouldn’t notice, so you quickly tried to argue, ‘Don’t say that. You don’t really know me. We talked like three times-’

‘I told you, I asked around-’

‘Ah, no, those girls-’

‘It wasn’t just the girls; even so, they didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. You’re nice,’ he smiled, and you had to admit, it was a charming smile, ‘You could have left it with a thank you for helping you out the other day. Still, you invested your time to give me chocolate and…,’ he tilted his head. His dark eyes softened like they did last time, causing your insides to twist a bit, ‘Did you know if it wasn’t for your chocolate, I wouldn’t get any?’

You swallowed, going for a lie, but before you could, he chuckled and grinned, ‘Your face is all red, y/n-chan. If you’re like this with me, I wonder if your crush doesn’t know all about your feelings.’

You pouted and waved his hand finally away from your shoulder since it obviously did something to your circulation and caused you to heat up, ‘Can’t get all red if I don’t talk to him.’

Sano blinked, surprised, ‘Really? That’s sort of stupid.’

‘No one asked you,’ you said and started to walk Sano easily, catching up, ‘I just mean, if you really care for someone, you should tell them before it’s too late.’

‘I don’t plan to ever-’

You barely got behind the corner and froze, forgetting what you were trying to say in the first place.

There clearly, only because you would have to see them when you would be leaving, was your crush hugging that girl in a way that left no doubts about their relationship.

You were left speechless, trying to understand what you saw, even if it couldn’t be more precise.

It felt like a bad dream. You knew realistically, if you never confessed, you didn’t really have any right to feel like someone stole anyone from you, but at that moment, you couldn’t reason with yourself.

Especially not when that girl leaned away and almost immediately looked at you as if she knew you were coming, ‘Ah, what a coincidence, y/n-chan.’

What was worse was that your crush wasn’t even looking at you; he was only looking down at the girl with a dopey smile on his face, clearly like someone who cared a lot about her.

‘Ara, ara,’ said that girl in that sweet voice you long since learned was fake, ‘what’s with those teary eyes?’

Your eyes widened as you realized she wasn’t lying.

You felt your eyes hurt the way they usually did right before you were about to cry. You could even feel the lump inside your throat, which meant if you were to open your mouth and make a single sound, you would start crying like a baby right there in front of your crush, that girl, and Sano.

No! NO! NO! NO!

You must have flinched or moved, ready to bolt it, regardless of how bad it would look, knowing nothing would be more humiliating that crying right now since your crush would find out why.

Suddenly, you felt a firm and grounding touch on your right shoulder, offering comfort even before he spoke confidently and authoritatively, ‘Don’t make fun of her.’

Your heart, which was already speeding from the adrenaline, started to beat even faster, ‘She’s crying because of me.’

Your eyes looked over at Sano and blinked some of the tears, jumping away, but most of them retreated back as you were shocked by his words.

He looked so different now, just as he had when he saved you on the street.

Intense, you thought to yourself. He looked strong enough to make people follow and believe in him. Surprisingly, you included.

‘Huh?’ spoke your crush, but your eyes remained on Sano partly because it relieved you from your heartache to look at him and have him touch your shoulder like that and partly because you feared if you looked back at your crush, you would start to wail.

Then came the chuckle, and your tears were forgotten in favor of shock and anger. It wasn’t a nice fun chuckle. You heard those enough in your lifetime to know that. It was mean, like a mockery.

‘So what? Not only you can’t get a girl, but you also make them cry now?’ ‘joked’ your crush, but you hardly found any humor in such a statement, mainly because being this close to Sano and having his hand on you, you could physically feel him flinch like the comment struck a nerve.

You watched the boy for a while and noticed how he seemed pleased with his joke, and for the first time in a very long time, he didn’t look as handsome or worthy of your admiration. Did he really think so highly and better of himself simply because Sano was involved with gangs? He wasn’t even fearful about the fact just thought it was beneath him.

He had a similar look to the girl who loved to hurt you so much, and at that moment, you couldn’t help but think they probably deserved each other.

‘Now, don’t be like that,’ said that girl in her overly sweet voice, ‘Besides, you shouldn’t make assumptions when you don’t know what really happened. Right y/n-chan?’

You watched the girl feeling your annoyance grow. Why did she always like to toy with you so much? She obviously planned for you to catch them. Did she expect you to confess you were upset because she stole your crush? Did she want you to humiliate Sano by confessing to you and you rejecting him?

You hated how much power she seemed to have.

You brushed your face, annoyed that some tears got away before you said, ‘You’re right,’ you said, and for a moment, you could see how pleased with herself she looked, ‘You shouldn’t make assumptions like that. You’re not very good at them,’ you said, looking at her before you looked at your crush again, ‘In fact, Shinichiro made me really happy with his confession,’ it wasn’t a lie, not really. Even if you were stressed about it, it did feel good that someone chose you like that, ‘He even brought me my favorite animal,’ you squeezed the plushie to your chest, soaking some comfort from it before you smiled and looked at the dark-haired boy by your side who was still holding onto your shoulder.

He could have ratted you out now or accidentally revealed you surprised him, but instead, he just looked at you. His gaze wasn’t soft or surprised, but curious and maybe a hint of playful now that sort of forced you to continue, ‘It’s a beautiful thing when someone offers you their heart. Especially if they’re as amazing as Shinichiro. I just got a bit emotional by it.’

You said and shrugged your shoulders, sparing a single glance at the two noticing how some of the previous smugness wasn’t on their faces anymore.

You turned back at Sano, who turned to look at you as well, now grinning, ‘I don’t mind. You’re pretty even when you cry,’ then while still keeping his hand on your shoulder, his other one reached over and brushed your cheek and some lost tears away, ‘But don’t do it too often. Happy tears or not, I prefer you more when you’re smiling.’

Your mouth shut closed, and you were sure you were red again from how hot your face felt.

The touch was too relaxed, gentle, and familiar for your liking, but you found it easy not to flinch and give up the ruse.

Sano then pulled you closer to his side and looked at the two before you, ‘Later.’

Just like that, he took you with him away without a second glance, wave, or polite wish for a nice day. You heard the girl call after you, but luckily it was after you were a bit away, and Sano’s shoulder blocked the words.

You were a bit out of it all, which was probably why you failed to notice when you appeared in front of Sano’s bike.

‘Here,’ he said and handed you a helmet.

‘What? No way, I can’t ride with you!’ you said, a bit too panicked.

His dark eyes danced across your face momentarily before he asked, ‘Why not?’

You were sure your face spoke loud and clear about your reservations regarding the bike.

‘It’ll be fine,’ he said with a certain ease that would cause you to be annoyed, except his dark eyes looked incredibly grounding with their strange confidence, ‘I took my little brother with me before, and it was fine. He’s eight,’ he grinned when he said that, and you bit your lip to stop it from smiling. You had no business doing that when you were lured into a death trap like this. Come on,’ he assured you and raised his hand with the helmet for you to take once more.

You eyed the thing reluctantly before you looked into his eyes again. There were traces of amusement like he could tell he would convince you. Still, they also had rock-solid confidence as if he knew he would keep you safe when you decided to accept, ‘You can trust me.’

You were still afraid, but it was true, he just supported your little lie back there, so it wasn’t too much of a hassle to have some faith in his riding skills. Not to mention he saved your life the other day.

Your teeth let go of your lip as you very hesitantly said, ‘Promise not to go too fast.’

The boyish grin he shot you was almost worthy of your fears and anxiety over the ride. Almost. It was a pretty grin, but you would like to think you were better than to let something like that get to you so quickly.

‘I promise.’

He tossed that word around so quickly, yet you couldn’t help yourself and believe him. It made you wonder if he didn’t become a gang leader just by smiling at people and promising them stuff. Even you could see the appeal, and you hardly knew the boy and had just had your heart sort of broken by a crush, who hopefully would never know you liked him.

You felt the pressure inside your throat and heaviness inside your eyes once again. Still, you refused to have Sano, a victim of another waterfall of tears for someone who was so rude to him.

You pushed away the warmth from your chest and took the helmet, switching it for your plushie.

Sano gave you a moment before he motioned for you to come closer and helped you secure the helmet responsibly and carefully.

You watched his face so close all the way he worked, wondering how he could look so relaxed, almost carefree yet caring, before you mumbled, ‘Thank you.’

He just grinned at you and knocked his knuckles against the helmet, ‘Don’t worry about it.’

You told him to drop you off at the end of your street to avoid meeting your family, that would surely freak out if they found you riding back with a known delinquent on top of it. You didn’t think it would matter how serious you would be about Sano being a good person.

Once you sat behind him, he glanced back at you, and you could see the slight frown on his face, ‘You need to come closer. I don’t want you to accidentally fall off.’

As if he wanted to demonstrate to you that it could have been an issue, the bike jolted, sending you stumbling against his back, pressing into his body for the third time since you spoke with him less than a week ago.

The experience made you both regret you ever agreed to the ride and throw your arms around his middle.

If anyone saw us now, they would surely think, I’m some desperate lovesick girlfriend, you thought to yourself, realizing you never properly discussed what happened with your crush and that girl. Oddly, you felt relieved as you didn’t wish to dive into all of that just yet.

You heard his easy-going laughter and then felt his hands on your wrist, pealing them a bit from him, ‘Careful, or instead of holding onto me, you’ll spoon me.’

Your face is hot as you let out a tight and embarrassed, ‘Shut up.’

He tried to look at you, but with your red cheeks and crippling fear, you were nowhere near a state you could look back at him.

Sano seemed to accept that, as in the next moment, he started the bike and finally took you guys away.

After a few minutes, the sensation of air against your body and movement got bearable, even enjoyable, if it wasn’t for the fact that your doubts and insecurities caught onto you, repeatedly replying to what happened back in the school. You felt like such an idiot. That girl knew you liked that boy, and she might even know you liked him for a while, and she thoroughly used it against you to make you suffer. You were beyond the point of believing she actually liked him and just so happened to be confessing to him in a place she would know you would see them. You knew her better than that, even if everyone assumed nothing but the best from her.

I wonder what did I ever do to her for her to hate me so much to do those things, you thought to yourself, and before you knew it, you realized you tightened your hold on Sano.

You expected him to loosen it once more, but instead, for a brief moment that he was waiting for a green light, his hand brushed your wrist, and you heard him say, ‘I got you, y/n-chan.’

Having his back to him and knowing he couldn’t see you, it felt all too easy and right to lean forward and press the top of your helmet against his back below his neck. It felt comforting. Something you would never have guessed the leader of the Black Dragon could make you feel, but he did.

You snuggled closer to him with the excuse that you didn’t want to fall down from the bike at that speed. Still, you would be lying if you didn’t admit that when Sano stopped at the corner you instructed him to, you felt slightly disappointed that it was all over.

‘Thanks for the ride,’ you said and returned his spare helmet to him.

When Sano reached for it, his palms pressed against yours, and you noticed his relaxed expression was gone. Instead, he looked rather grave, saying, ‘You shouldn’t cry for those people. They don’t deserve a single one of your tears, and you already gave them plenty.’

You wanted to check if you didn’t start to cry again, feeling a bit like an idiot, but Sano’s hands kept on holding onto yours on his helmet, ‘Yeah?’

Your eyes blinked, hypnotized a bit by his pretty dark ones that looked so convincing it did something to your insides, making it hard to focus on anything else.

Weird, you thought to yourself trying to brush it all as you were emotional about everything that happened today.

You cleared your throat, trying to appear normal and not like a lunatic, ‘O-okay.’

He finally took the helmet just as right about the last person you wished to see you called out your name. Your family was alright in general. Much better than when you were a kid, but you still couldn’t help but often feel like an outsider who kept most of her struggles to herself. You just couldn’t bring yourself confine in them as quickly as you knew other people could.

When you heard your name being called by one of your family members, you knew it would be troublesome if they saw you with someone like Sano.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You knew your worst fears came to life when you found yourself sitting beside Sano at your kitchen table. At the same time, your family questioned the two of you about everything and anything.

What a nosy bunch, you thought to yourself, irritated over how rude some of the questions were. 

You weren’t even sure how it happened. One moment you and Sano were about to part ways, and the next, your relative dragged the boy into your home, yelling, ‘Y/n brought home her boyfriend!’ They made it sound as if you brought home a winning lottery ticket for some reason. 

Luckily, Sano didn’t seem to take any offense either at being forced to dinner or the rude question. He quickly joked and even made fun of himself, keeping the mood somewhat positive and pleasant for everyone.

‘Ah, well, that’s nice. This one sure worked hard on making that chocolate for you.’

It got on your nerve relatively fast how lovesick they made it out to appear when the reality was somewhere entirely else about the whole Valentin’s chocolate. But you held it back, quietly playing with your food instead. Your family meant well, but it often felt you were the odd one to their loud and cheerful personas. You were simply different.

‘I’m glad. It was delicious,’ said Sano, ‘I got her a plushie, but it almost doesn’t feel like it’s enough.’

‘Oh, that cute thing. It’s so nice you knew her favorite animal.’

‘I still can’t believe those girls remember that,’ you mumbled mostly to yourself since it seemed no one at the table was really paying attention to you. 

True, once upon a time, you were friends with the girls, who were now soulless followers, but even back then, it felt like they ignored what you had to say.

‘No,’ blurted Sano, and you looked at him for the first time since this annoying dinner started, ‘I saw the keychain on your school bag the other day and figured you had to like it enough to carry it around.’

He offered you a boyish grin, and you couldn’t help but stare at him before you returned to your food, puzzled. It shocked you that when he was saving you on the street, he had time to notice that keychain you bought your first year in high school. He wanted to give you something special you would like instead of just some sweets. It seemed like a lot an effort to put in for someone you didn’t even consider girlfriend material before. You doubted Sano thought about you all that much until the day he saved you, and he confessed you weren’t on his radar when he was asking his classmates and some girls in his school out, so the plushie meant a lot. 

Then again, it also seemed like a lot an effort to make chocolate for some delinquent who helped you out once.

You glanced at him again when he fell into another series of twenty questions with your family, and you couldn’t help but feel happy about his presence this close to you.

Weird, you told yourself not for the first time that day and finished your food.

Your good mood didn’t last, as someone pointed out that Sano would have a lot of work to try to figure out what you were thinking because of how quiet you were.

‘I’m not quiet, just selective about people I talk with,’ you clarified, helping pick up the dishes. Still, for the first time, you were excused and told to show Sano your room and toy collection, which spiked your blood pressure because they were not toys, even if they were stuffed animals. It showed just how worried your family must have been about you staying forever alone if they were this desperate to get you a boyfriend. They didn’t mind a boy coming into your room one bit.

‘I’m glad you thought I was worthy,’ said Sano, and you rolled your eyes before he continued with a smirk, ‘It makes me feel even more special when you talk to me.’

You paused on your way to your room, realizing what he was talking about, and shrugged your shoulders, ‘You’re alright.’

He continued grinning as if you told him the highest praise before you finally showed him your room. It perfectly represented you and your interests down to your favorite animal collection.

You settled your new addition between the old ones and spoke, ‘I’m still surprised you noticed that keychain the other day on the street. Everything happened so fast.’

Sano, who was busy analyzing the items on your desk, hardly looked at you, ‘Nah, I saw it on your bag all the time in school.’

It was strange to think he noticed you before he helped you.

Before everything that happened.

You noticed him too, but he was a gang leader member, so that was a given.

He didn’t stay long, for which you were eternally grateful as you weren’t sure how much weirdness you could handle for one day, and you didn’t even start on your homework.

As you wished him goodbye by his bike, he tossed you another one of his boyish grins that made his face very handsome, ‘I’ll come to pick you up tomorrow morning too, alright? I already promised,’ he nodded at your house, where your family sort of bullied him into picking you up for school, so you wouldn’t have to wake up as early as you did.

‘You don’t have to do that. They were just being obnoxious,’ you assured him, but he shook his head, ‘It’s fine. I don’t mind.’

Your eyes moved away because it felt a tiny bit uncomfortable to see him look at you so calmly before you noticed he didn’t put on his helmet, ‘Aren’t you going to put it on?’

‘No, it’ll ruin my hair,’ he said, putting his hands up as if showing his hair to some imaginary audience. His hairstyle was a bit funny, but it suited him. Still, you couldn’t help yourself but comment, ‘A helmet is a part of your bike for a reason. Are you going home or to meet someone?’

‘Why?’

‘Well, if you don’t have any gang duties or are going to meet friends, then it doesn’t really matter if you mess up your hair,’ you said before you shrugged your shoulders and sighed in defeat, ‘Wear your helmet, Sano-san. Please,’ you said and looked away, feeling the heat rising into your cheeks over your request. He could do whatever he wanted. You just wished he would do it safely.

‘How about we make a deal?’ he asked, and you forced your eyes back to his face.

He was grinning, and his dark eyes shone with amusement, ‘You’ll call me Shinichiro again, and I’ll wear my helmet when I’m on my way home.’

You opened your mouth, recalling how you used his first name so carelessly when lying to those two at school. 

The fact that his face looked so happy now did something to you, but you didn’t allow the warm sensation to make you weak, ‘How about I call you Shin-kun, and you wear your helmet all the time?’

‘You drive a hard bargain, y/n-chan,’ he said, but he looked nothing but satisfied, ‘Fine, I’ll bite.’

He put the helmet over his pompadour, obviously ruining it, ‘Let’s give it a try.’

You nodded and stepped closer, knocking your knuckles against the helmet on top of his head before you offered him a small smile, ‘Thank you, Shin-kun.’

You hoped he could tell you meant more than just the helmet, and based on the softness that entered his dark eyes, you knew he did.

You stepped away and waved at him before he disappeared from your side, realizing it was the third time you watched him leave you, but for the first time, you weren’t annoyed.

You returned to your home and dodged the family’s attempts to tease you about saying goodbye to your boyfriend until you got to the security of your room, where you realized something.

We didn’t really talk about the whole pretend boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Everything happened so fast, and you could tell Sano-Shin didn’t want to cause you more anguish by talking about what happened in school. Your family just assumed he had to be a boyfriend since you made him chocolate, and he brought you home with a plushie. You attempted to say it wasn’t like that. Still, they just thought you were being secretive and shy as usual, so after the first failed try, you let them believe whatever they wanted.

It’s unreal, so I’m sure it won’t be a big deal, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t have been more wrong if you wanted to.

Shin followed his promise and came to pick you up, much to your family’s delight.

Oddly, you were glad to see him. You wouldn’t say you were a total loner, but you knew you lacked severely in the friends’ department. You used to think you had a lot of friends, but with time you realized it didn’t make you friends just because someone was polite or even friendly with someone.

You figured that the fact that you felt cozy inside when you saw the boy waiting for you by his bike was probably because it was a while since someone wanted your company for more than a moment.

The ride was less scary for you than the first one, and you even found yourself smiling a lot at the fact that Shin brought a spare helmet for you.

When he got you to school, you patiently waited for him to style his hair, giving him occasional pointers. You had the time since the boy showed up with some time to spare, ‘Here, let me.’

You did your best not to touch him anywhere but his hair. You combed and styled it as best as possible before stepping away from him, noticing how red his cheeks and face looked.

You bit the inside of your mouth to hide your own smile and embarrassment while Shin stated it was good and you could go.

When you entered the school with Shin by your side, you immediately felt everyone’s eyes on you. It was more than a bit unnerving, and when their looks got replaced with whispers, your heart sank at some of the rude things the students said like I bet he’s paying her, or I didn’t think she was so easy.

That last one earned the boy a sucker punch so fast, you didn’t even catch it until he was on the ground with Shin standing above him, ‘Don’t ever say that again.’

His voice was surreally icy, unlike anything he had used around you until now. Even when he was pissed at the driver who almost hit you or your ex-crush, he still remained human. This made him sound appropriately dangerous.

You didn’t bother sparing the boy on the ground another look, and instead, you found yourself taking hold of Shin’s arm, trying not to blush too hard about it all, ‘Let’s go. He’s not worth it.’

‘You’re right,’ he said, and only when he looked at you did you see his tense and dangerous vibe fade a bit.

However, he didn’t leave and instead called out, ‘Listen up! If I ever hear anyone of you say stuff like that again, you’re going to regret it.’

You felt a shiver rush through your body, and you tried to distract yourself by pulling Shin with you further into the building, ‘Let’s just go, please.’

You didn’t say it out loud, but it meant a lot to you that Shin stood up for you like that. You realized yesterday he was much better than people thought about him. You included. Initially, at least. 

Before you split up, he patted your shoulder with a grin as his previous dangerous vibe was utterly gone, ‘Wait for me after school, yeah?’

You couldn’t hardly keep the smile on your face when you nodded. 

It felt good to have someone in your corner again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since then, it seemed whoever was talking about you did so in secret because you could still feel gazes on you at times, but no one dared to be loud and rude to you anymore.

Well, at least I don’t have to hear what they think of me; you told yourself. You were used to being ignored or shit-talked like this by the followers and that mean girl, so it wasn’t all that different. Plus, you would be lying if you didn’t find some amusement in the fact that whenever you lifted your eyes to glance at someone who mentioned your name, their face went pale. Their eyes widened in fear that you would rat them out to Shin. 

Shin and his gang could make some money by protecting bullied middle and high schoolers. It couldn’t be the worst gig. 

You felt good about things for several days until you went to the restroom. As it seemed you and Shin stumbled upon a specific routine with him giving you rides, there wasn’t anything different about that day. You spoke with some friendly classmates. You could feel just how eager they were to ask you about everything that happened with Shin, but they didn’t, so you didn’t bother bringing it up. It didn’t seem like their business anyway.

So far, neither of you mentioned you weren’t an actual couple. Simply letting people talk whatever they wanted, given how much praise you noticed Shin got from some of his male classmates and friends the first day, you wondered if it maybe improved his status or something if people thought he finally landed a girlfriend.

It felt strangely rude to say you weren’t together for some reason, and since no one asked you directly, you figured you would just let them think whatever they wanted to. 

The moment you heard the door to the restroom open while you were still in the stall, you knew you would be in trouble.

Afterward, as you sat on the closed toilet long after the last class was over, you debated how long it would take for someone to find you. You figured that girl and her followers must have told every other girl not to use this restroom, and it seemed no matter how loudly you called for help, no one could hear you.

As mean as it was, it was primarily annoying to be left stranded in a locked stall. You were just grateful those girls weren’t childish enough to try and get you wet like they once did in middle school. It could have been a lot worse, but you doubted it would do you any good to be left inside the restroom all night. Indeed, if you didn’t come home, your family would notice, but who was to say they would realize something must have happened in school and not on your way home?

Hopefully, they won’t think Shin did anything to you, you wondered to yourself.

When the door opened, you were conflicted if you should scream or not since it could have been one of those girls returning to do something worse to you.

‘Y/N-chan?’ called out Shin’s distinguished voice, and you breathed a sigh of absolute relief, feeling your eyes tear up for the first time since you realized those girls locked you inside the stall, ‘I’m here.’

You immediately heard a loud hit that shook the stall a bit and then found the door could finally be opened to reveal the dark-haired boy, ‘Are you alright? One of my captain’s girls came to say-Hey, hey, are you hurt?’

You shook your head and covered your face, unable to stop yourself from crying. You were surprised that when you saw him, you felt so pathetic and grateful all at once, and given that you were really stressed out and scared about what would happen to you, it just all came crashing down. 

‘I-I…shit,’ suddenly you felt Shin take hold of your arm, and in the next moment, you were pressed against his solid and warm body while his hand kept a grip on the back of your head, ‘I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, but I’m here now, and you’re alright, okay?’

You couldn’t speak as all that came out were sobs and hiccups revealing your anguish, so for now, you simply nodded against him, hoping your tears weren’t soaking his clothes too much. A part of you felt awful letting out all those thoughts and feelings you spend the last hour or so trying to contain. Still, a more significant portion of you felt nothing but relief and gratitude for the dark-haired boy.

Shin kept you in his arms for a really long time, and you would happily remain there even longer. Still, you felt it was time to let go as the embarrassment from what you were doing caught onto your weak heart, ‘Thank you.’

You stepped back, and he let you, but his hand merely moved from your back to your arm, ‘Are you alright?’

You nodded without meeting his eyes.

He kept on looking at you while you refused to look back at him until he sighed and spoke, ‘So girls, huh? Who would have thought?’

You finally look at his face only to shoot him a look, ‘Only a boy wouldn’t know what they could do. Besides, this was nothing.’

His face was grave; you could tell by how he narrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t like your words, ‘So this happened before?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘This and other things. I shouldn’t have gone to the restroom alone. It’s my fault.’

He squeezed your shoulder, ‘Be honest. Is it because everyone thinks…well…,’ he didn’t finish, but the slight flush of his cheeks and his voice crack was enough for you to guess what he meant.

We’re together.  

You shook your head. Even if that was the case, you wouldn’t want to hurt Shin like that. Not when he was the only one who helped you so much and did so many little and small things for you. And it was barely days when you started talking to him, ‘No, they didn’t like me since middle school. I don’t know why.’

He was silent for a moment before he surprised you with the confident look that took over his face. One that spoke of authority and seriousness.

‘This won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.’

You didn’t have any heat inside you to argue or tell him he couldn’t really help you. He might have been a gang leader, but you doubted he had the guts or ruthlessness to threaten or hurt a girl. Even if a small sinister and exhausted from all of these mind games, part of you wished he would.

He took you home and told you he would also pick you up the next day. You barely acknowledged that and simply wished him a safe trip before you went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Shin could tell you were over what happened and didn’t wish to bring it up, so he dropped it and instead talked to you about some unknown facts he learned about the animals in your collections.

You figured he was trying to cheer you up, so you let him reward him by asking him a few things about bikes that you quickly found was his endless pit of knowledge. You would be lying if you said you were all that interested in the subject, but something about the way Shin’s eyes seemed to shine with life and passion when he spoke got under your skin and made it impossible not to crave to see it more.

That girl and her followers must have found another victim because they largely ignored you for a while.

However, little by little, you notice some odd occurrences happening around you.

It started when one day after Shin dropped you off but decided to skip, you found two of your classmates furiously cleaning your desk.

When they saw they were caught, they bowed to you and quickly explained, ‘Someone spilled something, y/l/n-san.’

‘But we managed to clean it almost all up.’

You gratefully thanked them, confused by their generosity since, apart from school stuff, they never bothered to speak with you.

A little after that, you found your shoe locker opened, but apart from your shoes, there was nothing there, and even if that seemed silly, you thought one of the 2nd year boys was standing guard over it.

A week later, you watched as your classmates pushed one of those girls that was a follower out of your classroom. She shot you a nasty look as she was passing you by, but she didn’t say anything, and when you came into the room, you found two other classmates, all boys picking up your things off the floor.

They didn’t tell you anything, and you were too confused to say anything either, so you just helped them with the rest of your stuff onto your desk and allowed them to return to their seats.

Then came the day you felt brave enough to go to the restroom again. It was empty, so you tried to be as quick as possible, and just as you were about to leave, you heard someone yell outside.

Reluctantly, you exited, hoping you weren’t about to get jumped or something, only to find five boys, only one from your class, with their backs toward the restroom, keeping any of the girls outside from entering by the looks of it.

‘What’s going on?’ you finally found the guts to ask while the girls were allowed to enter, only for one of the boys to hesitantly admit, ‘The Black Dragon issued a warning that if anything happened to you around the school, they would come after every guy who didn’t protect you.’

You were left speechless.

That’s a joke, right?

With the bit of spare time you had left, you went to seek out Shin. Until now, you only ever saw him on your way to and from school. He was surprisingly punctual, only sometimes coming late in the morning, but with the excuse that he couldn’t get his younger brother, Mikey, out of bed fast enough.

‘Did you…,’ you started unsure how to form your question feeling strangely tender inside over what that student revealed to you.

Shin was looking at you; all the while, his other classmates silently kept their distance as if they knew better than to try and eavesdrop, ‘Did you tell your gang to threaten guys into protecting me?’

He raised his hand, touching the top of the doorway, looking as relaxed as he always had with his dark eyes softening at your sight, ‘I gave you my word I wouldn’t let anything like that happen to you ever again. I would be a shitty leader if I didn’t stick to it,’ he grinned.

You watched him feeling your face warming up. Everything from his words to his leisure posture to what he did to ensure you didn’t have to fear your bullies caused you to feel beyond happy to have him in your life and like you didn’t deserve him at all.

Your heart speeded up, and the unfamiliar urge to reach out and touch him, somehow, anywhere, just so that you would be connected arose, confusing you. You never had a need like this before.

‘You’re too kind,’ you found yourself saying, knowing your cheeks must have been flushed, ‘Are you sure you’re a delinquent?’ you asked instead of any soft and cheesy words that came into your mind.

He hummed, his dark eyes never leaving yours, ‘Well, hopefully, none of those guys will slip up, so I won’t have to show you just how much of a delinquent I can be.’

You had to cover the side of your face and look away because you felt far too warm and fluffy inside over his words for some reason.

It’s that stupid voice, for sure. 

‘What do you like to eat?’ you asked him, and he blinked at you, puzzled by the question, ‘What?’

You shrugged your shoulders, ‘I’ll make you something. You…you really did a lot for me.’

When he grinned at you, you felt your heart speed up even more and wondered how long an appropriate time was to forget about one crush and gain another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You didn’t really plan to discuss what happened to you in middle school or how being on your own in high school affected you. But with Shin and the hours you spent in one another’s company when you learned more and more about his life, they just sort of came out. 

‘You must really hate her that she even took your crush from you,’ he said as he stopped eating the food you got him. You didn’t always make him something, but whenever you agreed upon it up front, you did, and occasionally, you even tossed some sweets for him and his siblings or captains.

You thought about it, ‘I hated that she made me cry and got under my skin, but…I sometimes see them in class, and I don’t really care,’ you admitted, ‘It was just a crush anyway, and I’m kind of grateful I never confessed.’

‘Yeah?’ he asked and had a strange look behind his dark eyes, ‘What if he would accept?’

‘I wouldn’t get to know you,’ you said before you could stop yourself and quickly turned away, ‘You know, since what boyfriend would like his girlfriend to hang with a gang leader and all and – and I would never have gotten those girls off my back so-’

Shin tossed his head back and laughed. 

You would have given him a piece of your mind, but you were too hypnotized by how beautiful he looked at that moment sitting in the school’s room, looking so happy and carefree.

‘I get it, y/n,’ he said and started eating again, smiling with a look that made you want to toss your arms around him and pull him closer.

Your cheeks were on fire again, but even if just a tiny bit, so were his, ‘I’m sort of glad none of those girls I liked ever accepted my confession either. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.’

Your heart pounded so hard that even people outside the roof had to hear it.

You wished all so desperately to be braver at that moment than you were and reach out to touch him somehow but found it impossible to do so even when he got you to feel all mellow inside like this. 

Back in middle school, when you were forced to postpone your confession to your crush, you merely told yourself you would do it later. It wasn’t really a promise back then, not even a proper note for the future. It was more like an empty thought. One that wouldn’t cause you too much anguish if you never followed through with it because how could it? 

Now, however, looking at Shin, the most beautiful and unique boy, you have ever met, you refuse to let it stay just a thought and idea for the future. 

No, now, you would make it a promise. Something you couldn’t cower over forever. Something you would most definitely follow through with because how could you not?

Soon, you promised yourself in silence before offering him a kind smile feeling your entire heart agreed with you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes after you started to hang out more in school too, you found yourself in an unfortunate situation with some members of his gang. It was an unlucky coincidence, really.

You were alone in the grocery store when two tall and intimidating-looking gang members caught you and tried to steal your wallet. Until then, you only ever saw the members of the infamous Black Dragons around the neighborhood, but with the exception of Shin, you never spoke to any of them. 

You held your breath, dreading what they would do with you and hoping they would just take your money and leave when one of them pulled open your wallet.

His eyes doubled in size, and he started to stutter, ‘Y-y-y-our n-name is-is-’

You became less fearful, and it seemed his partner was just as confused as you before he snatched your wallet from the boy and started to panic, too, ‘Y/L/N… that’s your name? OH NO!’

Suddenly both boys were on their knees, bowing to you and begging you for mercy, ‘PLEASE, DON’T TELL THE KING ABOUT THIS!’

‘HE’LL KILL US!’

‘HE’LL TELL HIS CAPTAINS TO KILL US!’

‘WE DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOU!’

‘BUT NOT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT YOU!’ 

‘HE DOES!’ 

‘ALL THE TIME!’ 

‘WE’RE SORRY!’ 

‘WE’RE STUPID!’

You didn’t even have time to say anything before they returned your wallet, snatched your bags, and told you they would walk them home for you.

You told yourself you wouldn’t say anything about them but then decided you would feel sort of shitty if you knew something like this could happen to anyone else.

So far, you didn’t have a reason to use the phone number you got from Shin, but you supposed today’s misadventure was a good enough reason.

‘Moshi, moshi,’ greeted a child on the other end, and for a moment, you were unsure what to do until you heard a slight groan, ‘Not funny, you pedo-’

‘Wait!’ you called out, startled, ‘Sorry, is… Shin there?’

‘Who’s asking?’

You opened and closed your mouth. Throughout the last couple of weeks, the two of you never discussed the fact that everyone around the school assumed you two were a couple. It wasn’t like anyone else brought it up, so you two just sort of carried on getting to know each other and became close. You would consider yourself friends, but the truth was you knew you were crushing on him a lot by now. Not to mention, he did try to confess to you after Valentine’s Day. It was, overall, a strange situation, and you were too shy and awkward to bring it up.

‘Well?’ demanded the child, and you cleared your throat, trying not to blush too hard, ‘Just tell him y/n is calling.’

‘His girlfriend? Huh, so you’re real? Though he made you up,’ he said, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his bored tone.

‘Hey,’ he said with much more amusement, ‘Say, how come you decided to date someone as weak and stupid as my brother?’

You grimaced, recalling some stories about Shin’s younger brother, Mikey, that now made a lot more sense when you heard how he spoke about his older brother. ‘Well, I can’t speak much about his strength. I only saw him punch one guy for me,’ you admitted.

‘Oh yeah?’ asked Mikey almost gleefully.

‘Yeah,’ you nodded even if the kid couldn’t hear you, ‘Uh, he said something untrue and horrible about me, and Shin really let him have it. He ended up on the ground with a busted lip.’

Mikey chuckled, ‘Nice. But that guy had to be pretty weak. My brother isn’t a good fighter.’

‘I wasn’t able to tell,’ you said, wondering if he wasn’t a good fighter, how could he have become the leader of Black Dragon before you carried on, ‘And he isn’t stupid, just lazy. I corrected some of his homework, and if he invested more time into it, he would be fine.’

‘Grandpa always calls him a slacker too,’ agreed Mikey, and you smiled to yourself, thinking about Shin, unable to stop, ‘To be completely honest. I find your older brother a pretty great and good person. He helped me out so much, and that was even before he properly got to know me. But even before we became…uh, close, I felt he wasn’t all that bad. I can also tell he cares about all of you a lot because he always smiles when he talks about you guys.’

You heard someone say something to Mikey.

‘Alright, I’ll give you my brother now. Come around. I’ll show you how a really strong person fights.’

You grinned upon hearing that, ‘Alright. Bye, Mikey-chan.’

Just before Shin came to the phone, you heard the kid tell him loudly, ‘Your girlfriend is already cooler than you. You better beg her not to break up with you.’

‘Don’t be jealous, Mikey. If you ask me nicely, I’ll tell you all about my sweet moves to get a cool girl like that.’

You giggled a bit as you heard Shin’s voice, ‘Sorry about that. My brother can be a little shit.’

‘It’s alright. He’s funny. I’m curious about what sweet moves you want to show him. Getting rejected twenty times and stuttering through a confession?’ you realized too late you might have opened the door to the discussion you never really had before you heard him let out a fake whine, ‘So cruel, y/n-chan.’

You smiled and closed your eyes in relief before speaking again, ‘Listen, I won’t tell you who it was, and I don’t really want you to punish them, but I think you should know two of your members tried to rob me today?’

‘WHAT?!’

‘Nothing happened. They found my student card and realized who I was. They apologized and even swore they would never do that again, and I know it isn’t my business, and I don’t want to.’

‘Are you hurt?’

You frowned, confused, ‘What? No, you’re not listening.’

‘Are. You. Hurt?’ Shin asked again, this time far firmer, almost like he was angry.

You sighed, wishing you didn’t say anything now, ‘No.’

‘I’m coming over.’

‘It’s late,’ you said and glanced out of the window, looking at the dark sky.

‘I’m still coming over,’ he said seriously before he eased his tone a bit, ‘Can I?’

It could have been troublesome, but you didn’t have it in you to tell him no when he sounded like that, so you nodded, ‘Alright, we can talk for a bit outside the house, okay?’

Shin showed up less than twenty minutes later, obviously going far too fast.

Once he got off his bike carelessly, almost letting it fall to the ground, he was by your side in a second, putting his palms on your face, his dark eyes filled with concern and seriousness, trying to see if you were hurt before he lowered his gaze to the rest of your body, ‘I told you I’m not hurt.’

‘You also said you weren’t bullied before, remember?’ he asked, and you bit your lip because it was true, and you didn’t like to be reminded of it.

Once he genuinely deemed you unharmed, he let you go and stepped back with a loud sigh, ‘I’m sorry. Sometimes these things get out of hand. I was worried they were rough with you.’

You shook your head, your annoyance fading as you could see just how worried he was and why he was acting this way. You explained what happened again and simply asked him if he could tell his gang not to drag girls into dark alleys.

How bizarre that I get to ask that of a known gang leader.

Shin nodded, ‘I’ll ensure they won’t ever do that.’

You smiled, knowing all too well that when Shin said something like that, he meant it.

He then sighed and brushed his hair, which you only then realized wasn’t styled but sort of effortlessly messy in a good way.

‘Your hair looks nice today,’ you said before you could stop yourself and then covered half of your face before you looked away, ‘Sorry.’

He chuckled, and you could tell a lot of stress fell off his shoulders before he stepped closer to you and brushed it again more aggressively, ‘You think so? Want to touch it?’

You were embarrassed, but at the same time, you felt tempted to make him too.

You reached out and ran your fingers through his obviously not that long ago washed hair. It wasn’t the first time you touched it, but it felt nicer tonight than when it was soaking with hair gel, ‘I like it.’

Your eyes met his half expecting more teasing or to find him blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, but instead, you saw him with a rather gloomy look.

‘What’s the matter? I like your pompadour style too,’ you assured him quickly, worried you offended his most beloved look, but he shook his head, ‘It’s not that. It’s…my mom is sick.’

Before he said it, you figured out that he only ever spoke about his grandfather as the sole adult around the house. You knew she was still alive since he mentioned his father had passed away five years ago. Still, his mother was a bit of a mystery until your own family discussed Sano’s one evening, mentioning something about her being in a hospital for a long time now.

‘It’s why I freaked out so much,’ he explained, ‘She’s not getting better, and if you…,’ he didn’t answer, just shook his head, but you didn’t need him to anyway.

Looking at him was heartbreaking. All the more because he already did so much for you, and here you were, powerless and useless to do the same.

Without anything else to offer, you offered yourself as you put your arms around his neck and pulled his body to yours. You couldn’t recall the last time or ever if you ever hugged someone who wasn’t your family. But with the way Shin practically sank into your embrace, almost crushing you with how tightly he was holding onto you, trying to get you even closer to him, you were sure you were doing a good job.

‘Shin,’ you said finally and felt him hum before he pulled away enough to look at your face.

You offered him a small smile, ‘You should introduce me to your captains. So, they know who to look out for.’

‘Yeah?’ asked the boy, his smile returning.

Given how much on fire your face felt, you had no illusion about how red it must have looked, but even so, you two didn’t let go of each other. 

You nodded and decided to at least somehow hide your face by pulling him closer again, and he did the same.

The incredible feeling of warmth and safety inside your weak belly was almost enough to make up for the merciless teasing you had to endure from your family after you got back into the house. 

Almost 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shin introduced you to his captains a week later on a day you didn’t have school. He started to skip more and more classes. Still, he always made a point to give you rides and occasionally even come back for lunches, if only to spend them in your presence. 

Meeting gang members should have been terrifying, and some of you wondered if you should invest some money into a paper spray. Still, once they all gave you a very formal bow that made you feel like you were in some royal in a historical drama, they seemed to decide on a much friendlier approach looking at you like you were a new animal in the zoo. 

‘Ah, she’s pretty, Shin-chan,’ said one with strangely alluring hair of three colors, ‘You’re going to have cute babies.’

‘Oi!’ warned him, Shin, and the only reason you didn’t die of embarrassment was that Shin was blushing just as hard as you. 

‘Seriously, are you blackmailing this poor girl, Shin?’ asked another one stepping closer to you with a far less friendly smile than the others.

Before Shin could answer, you took hold of his hand and asked, ‘And where’s your girlfriend?’

It earned you a few chuckles, and the captain, who asked for some teasing from his comrades, but Shin grinned at you and pulled your closer, looking really impressed.

He kept you close to him since that. Being in the sea of boys in dark Black Dragons uniforms, you didn’t mind it all that much, preferring that you could count on his hand on your arm or your own on his for comfort when things felt too overwhelming. 

‘They liked you,’ he said as he dropped you home later than usual that day, looking like he wouldn’t mind if the two of you could spend even more time together. 

You felt the same. 

‘I like them too,’ you admitted, ‘Some more than others.’

He grinned before an almost shy look took over his face, and his dark eyes glanced somewhere into the distance, ‘I hope you don’t plan to like them…more than me.’

You opened and closed your mouth. Right there at the tip of your tongue was, ‘I don’t think I ever liked anyone as much as I like you,’ but you just couldn’t force it out. 

It seemed the moment carried and was threatening to become awkward, which you would hate so much because of how good it felt to be with Shin. 

Unsure if you would ruin it or not, you acted before thinking and pressed your lips in a quick motion against his cheek, feeling just how heated and soft his skin was from an entire day under the sun outside. 

Even if you would probably die out of mortification if someone ever found out, you felt crossed with yourself later on that you didn’t aim closer to his mouth. 

You didn’t dare to see his reaction and just let a high-pitched bye before running to your house, grateful none of your family saw that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Neither of you mentioned your little stunt afterward, and things returned to their routine. The anxious coward part of you was grateful since you would hate to mess something up when having Shin in your life brought you so much joy. But there was a every day getting, stronger part that still craved for more. 

Almost as if that girl recognized you were dealing with something in your new relationship, she started talking at you. She couldn’t speak to you since you found the new willpower to ignore her despite how rude it made you seem. That being said, you often heard her fake sweet voice carry around the hallways after you. 

‘You know, y/n-chan. Being with Sano-san isn’t really good for you if you act like this,’ she said during one of those days that Shin skipped school, forcing you to eat with some of your friendlier classmates instead. 

‘You might want to think about all that bad behavior rubbing off on you. Your family probably wouldn’t take too kindly to learn that you changed so much,’ said the girl. She wasn’t wrong. Even if you didn’t like it, if your family heard from anyone that you were acting badly, they would indeed believe them and blame you. Even if right now they were over the moon that their weirdo-daughter found herself a boyfriend.

You watched her smug face smiling at you with that fake kind smile feeling nothing but disgust and anger. You hated that she still held power over you to threaten something, in this case, someone you cared for so much. 

‘You know,’ you said while looking at her and some of her followers who came into the classroom, realizing a lot of people were silently listening to you two, ‘I used to wonder why did you hate me so much to bully me so severely-‘

‘Bully, y/n-chan? You must be confused-’

‘But now I couldn’t care less,’ you admitted knowing for a while now it was the truth. Being with Shin and knowing he would look out for you in any way he could bring you a sense of security and power, for lack of better words. You felt strong enough for once against whatever this brat would toss at you. 

She pressed her lips into a new tight smile, obviously upset you spoke to her in such a way. 

‘You’re not a good person,’ you glanced at every single one of the followers who came to your classroom, ‘neither of you are. And honestly, your opinion doesn’t matter to me one bit anymore. In less than a month, we’ll be graduating, and that will be the last time I ever have to see your face or hear that silly laughter of yours,’ you looked away, returning to your lunch box, deciding that you were happy for once in a very long time. You refused to let them take that from you by causing you to stress and worry about things you couldn’t control. So be it if that brat and her followers wanted to talk to your parents. If they wanted to believe her, so be it. You felt enough of an outsider with both of those groups to know you would still choose to have Shin in your life.

You heard her, and some other girls chuckle or snicker, ‘I don’t know what makes you say such things. Perhaps you’re just tired from staying up too late with delinquents, who are up to no good.’ 

You refused to dignify her with an answer knowing she would just turn it around. 

You expected them to giggle some more and leave before you heard one of your classmates say, ‘Hey if you’re done here, you can just leave already.’

The girls were silenced, and everyone, including you, glanced at your classmate, your former crush, ‘This isn’t your classroom. You don’t see us occupying your space with your obnoxious chatters.’

You were surprised, to say the least, since you thought the two were dating, but maybe that wasn’t the same. Not that it matters all that much to you now. 

‘That’s right,’ agreed some other classmates, and you turned to look at him, ‘And stop messing with y/l/n all the time. It’s pathetic.’

Your classmate, who was eating with you, also said, ‘If you’re so jealous, you might want to rethink your attitude.’

‘We all know you 3-B girls are just annoying bullies,’ said someone else before she not so quietly whispered, ‘No wonder Sano would prefer y/l/n. She’s a much better person than her.’

You didn’t really know what to say to all that, and it seemed that girl and her followers didn’t either after being called out like that. 

They left in silence, looking at least a little bit ashamed or maybe sad, but you meant what you said since you couldn’t really be bothered by them and their mind games anymore. 

To show your gratitude to everyone, you thanked everyone, and the lunch went on much calmer.

Later when Shin came to drop you home, you told him what happened, and he offered you a grin and knocked against your helmet, ‘That’s good. But if they still cause you trouble, let me know. I’ll figure something out.’

‘Shin, you can’t beat up girls.’ You knew he wouldn’t do it, and even if some of his gang subordinates would willing to ruffle them up, you didn’t want anyone to get hurt or in trouble because of you. 

‘Of course,’ said Shin sounding almost offended you would think that, ‘But I would fight with their boyfriends and crushes. Maybe older brothers.’

‘All of them, huh?’

‘Yup, every last one if it meant it would protect you,’ he said proudly, and you hid your face against his back and put your arms tightly around his middle, ‘Thank you, Shinichiro.’

You never would have thought you would feel blessed to have a delinquent in your life, but you truly felt that way. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the graduation came and passed, you already met most of Shin’s family. 

You visited his place as once your family let out you and Sano were together, his grandfather demanded you come for dinner too. 

Mikey later blurted out that it was because, like everyone else in the family, they didn’t think you were real, which got Shin to curse at them and then apologize. His family was lovely, and you liked them a lot. You even got a chance to accompany them once to visit Shin’s mother in the hospital. She cried when she said she could tell you were a good person, and she was grateful he had someone like you. She even thanked you, causing you to cry like a baby once you managed to get into the hallway startling the rest of his family. Still, Shin just chuckled and patted your head, explaining you tended to get emotional like that. 

Either way, it wasn’t a big deal for you to come to his home that day, but you made it a big deal by putting on your new summer dress and spending more time on your hair and makeup. You kept it decent, though. Shin was around you long enough to know what sort of a girl you were, so there was no point to start pretending to be someone else. He seemed to have liked you just fine up until now. 

I just hope he’ll continue to like me after this too.

You found him in his room, already familiar with the layout of his home, and allowed to come inside by Emma, who hugged your middle and had you promise to come to listen to some music with her before you would leave. 

‘Hey, I wasn’t expecting you today. I didn’t forget, did I?’ he asked, sitting up from his bed. After graduation and even a little before that, he stopped using hair gel and allowed his hair a messier and wilder hairstyle. You didn’t mind it. He looked handsome all the same.

You shook your head, ‘Don’t worry. I just thought I stop by.’ 

You started university and found a part-time job while Shin went to work full-time. It made the both of you to have less time for one another, but you still made it work. It was good neither of you minded all that much to spend hours with the other while he was busy doing something else. 

‘So what’s up? Do you want to watch a movie?’ he asked and sat on the floor so you could do the same. In your mind, you pretty much planned the whole thing out, but it seemed to actually be here, and seeing the young man was proving to be a hassle. 

‘Er, sure in a bit?’ you agreed hesitantly. 

He grinned and arched his eyebrow, clearly mocking you a bit about your weird behavior. You didn’t blame him. 

Your pulse pounded harder as you forced yourself to move closer, cursing at yourself that you chickened out during graduation when there was noise and other factors that made it all less quiet and awkward. 

Shin’s dark eyes, which you always found so pretty, blinked at you, and much of his amusement faded.

Even if he wasn’t doing anything, you could tell he stilled. 

You moved closer until your knees touched the outside of his leg while he sat cross-legged on the floor. It was hardly the first time you were this close, but it seemed both of you now knew what this was all about. 

You never really addressed the fact that you weren’t a real couple. At first, it was either pointless or seemed rude, but with more time, you grew familiar with the notion. You never openly called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. Still, whenever Shin or you bought the other somewhere, people assumed you didn’t correct them. You were unsure what were Shin’s thoughts on the matter, but you knew pretty early on yours that you didn’t want to correct anyone anymore.  

A sense of woozy headiness filled you when your noses touched. Being close to him wasn’t new. He rode you home and hugged you quite often, making it somewhat easier to think you weren’t just friends. Still, you never brushed your nose against his ever so slightly and felt your breaths mingle like this before. 

You remained like this for a second before you sighed and erased the last couple of pesky inches between you with your lips. You never did this before, so it wasn’t more than a quick and innocent peck. It wasn’t enough to actually know anything about his taste or touch, but it still caused a tiny spark between you too. 

When you opened your eyes, you found his dark ones already on you, ‘Why?’

You swallowed, feeling a shiver running across your body at how breathless he sounded, ‘I-I felt like kissing my boyfriend.’

He blinked, and given how close your faces still were to one another, you felt rather than saw his hand slide up the back and around your neck, ‘Yeah?’ he asked and licked his lips, causing your eyes to stick to his mouth like glue, ‘Well, now I feel like kissing my girlfriend back.’

You sensed his head dipped, and he caused your chin to tilt toward him. 

‘Ok-’

Then his mouth was on yours, and your mind emptied completely. Nothing else existed except for this. The heat, the pleasure, the firm pressure of his lips, and the soft glide of his tongue against yours.

You didn’t know when you raised your hands, only found your fingers sliding into his hair while he tipped your head back further, giving him as much access as he could possibly want. 

He tasted like mint, smoke, and Shin. It was so delicious and indescribable you wanted to drown in it, and you almost did. 

A moan slipped from your mouth to his, and he answered with a tortured groan of his own. 

His hand tightened around your nape in a way that, instead of that sweet and comfortable warmth, made you feel the heat.

Your first kiss should have felt strange or at least a little bit uncomfortable with how little practice you had, but it certainly didn’t feel that way. Instead, it felt completely perfectly right.

You were both breathless when you broke the kiss, and he immediately pulled you into his arms.

You remained like that for a while quietly, with the only sounds coming from your loudly beating hearts, heavy breaths, and some faint sounds from other parts of the house.

Your eyes stayed closed until Shin pulled your face toward his and pressed your foreheads against each other, ‘I’m glad you gave me that chocolate on Valentine’s Day.’

You smiled, ‘I’m glad you didn’t wait until March to return the favor.’

He chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against your temple, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Koniec A.N: Thank you for reading. Have a lovely day 😊

#OMG #Ok fellas long ass fic angsty and fluffy #I can't explain how much I want to just love on this man #Him using his power to threaten guy to keep you safe from the girls????????????? #I am heterosexual

[katsune-nya]

Title: The Fall

Pairing: Manjiro x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend, Mikey, falls during a bike race and starts to act a bit differently. | Genre: Angst with a happy ending| Warning: Angst| Words: 2.5K

You weren’t certain what had happened.

One moment you were cheering along with Draken and others, watching your boyfriend, Sano Manjiro, in the lead on the large TV, and the next, you all watched in absolute shock and horror as he lost control of the bike and ended up in a collision that caused several other races who were behind him to fall.

You weren’t certain you heard anything anyone said to you afterward. As you stood there frozen, Mikey got up and looked around as if he was looking for something or someone before he got back on the bike and drove through the finish line. Even if he made it, he didn’t come first, and causing other races to fall would surely cause him several points, but honestly, that was the last thing on your mind at that very moment.

‘W-what did you say?’ you finally asked Draken when you realized your longtime dark-haired friend was talking to you.

Looking alert but at the same time keeping his cool, no doubt for your benefit, he repeated himself, ‘You can go see him. They’ll let you in with a pass.’

You nodded, catching the paramedics on the TV screen escorting Mikey away before you rushed in the same direction. All sorts of horrible scenarios started to spin inside your mind. It was over a decade since Mikey’s older brother taught him how to ride a bike, and not once did he have any incidents or even close calls like today. He was fast but steady, so you couldn’t comprehend what had happened today that caused the skilled rider to lose control like that during a race.

Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay. 

You repeated like a mantra inside your mind all the while before you reached the medical room.

Once you entered the room with blood rushing through your ears and your heart in your throat, you found Mikey sitting on a small couch, waving one of the paramedics off with a small smile across his face.

‘Mikey!’ you shouted, alerting everyone inside the small room.

When his dark eyes met yours, it almost felt like you were looking at a different person for a second before he breathed out your name with intensity; you hadn’t heard in a very long time since things had been going so well in your life.

You rushed to his side, immediately taking his face between your palms, checking his body over with your eyes for any damage. Even if he was sitting there looking at you and talking, you found it hard to breathe and accept he could already be until you saw it.

His expensive race suit was pretty dirty, but it must have softened the fall since it wasn’t torn anywhere.

When your eyes fell to his face again, you were surprised by how stunned he looked while watching you. His dark eyes were full of life and gratitude, unlike any you had ever seen. Even when you cooked for him or took him out for dorayaki when you were younger. Even when you accepted all his flaws and insecurities giving him strength and promising to always be by his side. Even when you accepted his heart and love, you didn’t think you ever saw him look at you quite like this. He just seemed so different yet the same in that moment.

‘Are you alright?’ you asked, still worried, ‘Does it hurt anywhere?’

Mikey’s face lightened up with a bright smile that captured your heart all those years ago, ‘No, don’t worry. It doesn’t hurt anywhere…anymore.’

You blinked, confused by his choice of words wondering if it could be a concussion before you saw him chuckle and reach out to touch your cheek, ‘I wouldn’t think you would ever get prettier than you were back then, but you had to prove me wrong, huh?’

You felt your cheeks warm up, knowing the others could hear what he just said, at the same time, feeling your chest fill with love for the man in front of you all over again.

He must have removed his gloves since you could feel his bare fingers brushing over the skin of your cheek, heating it up with their gentleness.

Mikey put his hand away, but he still remained looking at your face as if he couldn’t look anywhere else, ‘Like I told these guys, I just got spooked for a second. It happens.’

Suddenly a pair of his strong arms circled around you, and before you knew it, you were pushed against his solid body. The height difference would have made it uncomfortable since he was sitting and you were standing. However, you were still so worried and desperate to feel him and know that he was alright after watching him fall like that that it didn’t come to it.

You hugged him back, immediately sensing how firmly he held you.

It should have felt the same. After all, the two of you were together for a long time now, and Mikey could be rather clingy and sleepy, and although everything was the same, it didn’t feel the same.

It wasn’t like your usual cute, sleepy, or intimate hugs. This one felt different. It felt like a hello after a long period of absence, but it was filled with such a strong sense of desperation and longing that it almost made breathing hard. It felt as if Mikey had returned to you after a long war, finally embracing his well-deserved rest and peace.

You didn’t know why this embrace felt like that, but whatever was the cause, you let him have it feeling you needed it just as much as he did.

Finally, when his manager cleared his throat and the paramedics explained they still needed to check his head for injuries, you let him go. Still, almost immediately, he snatched your palm and forced you to sit next to him through the whole ordeal.

You didn’t mind patiently listening to their medical advice, all the while stealing glances at Mikey, who would offer you smiles occasionally.

After they cleared the dark-haired racer, you were allowed to leave.

‘The manager arranged for you to slip through the back, so you won’t be bothered by the press,’ said Draken as you prepared to leave, and you sensed an undertone in Mikey’s thanks, Ken-chin.

You drove your boyfriend home, noticing how he looked around the neighborhood and place, almost like he was taking it all in for the first time, ‘Are you sure you’re alright?’

He turned to look at you as you opened the door to your shared place and smiled, ‘Yeah, I’m great.’

Inside the place, Mikey acted the same as he did outside, looking around occasionally and smiling at some of the things inside your place, mumbling something about how he was not surprised you would pick a certain thing as decoration, something he said when you first got that certain thing too.

It made you nervous, but the doctor and Mikey assured you he was fine, so you tried to calm down.

After a while, you told yourself you shouldn’t baby the poor man so much and suggested making him dinner.

‘Really? You’ll cook for me? You’re the best.’

The way he said it and the way his eyes shone with gratitude and glee was like a throwback to your youth when he used to be like this about everything you did for him. Like he couldn’t believe it and loved you for it all the more. Not that he wasn’t happy about your cooking nowadays, but you supposed the appeal did die down a bit over the years as it became a habit. So, seeing him all giddy about your cooking or taking care of him left you feeling really good.

You busied yourself in the kitchen while Mikey was left to his own devices.

Occasionally, you stopped to answer a phone call or a text message from one of your friends or relatives who heard about his fall and then chatted a bit with Hina, who was stressed about the wedding that was less than a day away all the while Mikey stayed away from the kitchen.

Once you finished, you went to fetch him, only to find him in the living room looking over the photos of the two of you.

‘Hey, dinner is ready. I made your…,’ you suddenly stopped talking, and your eyes widened in shock before you quickly rushed toward the man and asked, ‘Mikey, what’s wrong?!’

He was sitting on the ground, his body shaking as he sobbed and tears ran down his cheeks while several of your albums were left open around him.

One particular photo was in his shaky hand.

‘Mikey, Mikey, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?’ you kept asking, trying to recall the last time you ever saw him cry like this.

You touched his arm, and he turned his head to look at you, ‘I took you…I took you…’

You didn’t understand what he meant, and it seemed the sobbing was making it hard for him to speak, so he showed you the photo that must have upset him so much, and you looked down at it.

It was the photo of the two of you on vacation from two years ago. Mikey, with the help of his friends and sister, arranged for the two of you to visit a place you had been dreaming of since you were a child, just like he once promised you when you were just teenagers starting to get to know one another.

‘Huh? You would want to go to that place?’ back then, the blond-haired gang leader who was starting to capture your heart asked, ‘Why?’

‘It’s my dream. I once saw it on TV, and ever since, then I read everything I could about it. One day, I’ll have enough money and free time to visit and experience it,’ your teenage self told him back then. At the same time, you sat with him on the stairs to the shrine he usually used for his Toman meetings.

‘It’s pretty far. So it will be pretty expensive,’ he said, and you let out a sad little sigh, ‘I know, I know. I should be smarter and use that money elsewhere. Or I won’t ever be able to save that much. I heard it all before. Go on, make a joke,’ you said, looking away from the handsome boy back then, ready for someone as childlike and carefree as Mikey to mock your dream the same way so many others had before.

‘I’ll take you there,’ he said next, causing you to almost get whiplash from how fast you turned your head back to look at him, ‘You will?’

You were stunned, but Mikey chuckled and tossed his arm around your shoulder to bring you to his side.

You felt your entire body catch on fire over how close you were to him now, while Mikey promised you he would take you there while making you promise that you would only go if it was with him.

‘No one else but me, y/n. Can you promise me that in return?’ he asked and sounded so smug and childlike at the same time. You couldn’t help but find it charming, and your rapidly beating heart sincerely agreed.

‘I promise.’

You weren’t sure why it upset Mikey so much in the present, but you put your arms around his neck and pulled his head toward your chest, ‘You did. You took me to my dream destination. You…you kept your promise to me, Mikey. You took me there.’

He quietly sobbed and cried against you, and it broke your heart, but you continued to hold him until he was done and a little longer afterward.

‘Mikey, are you certain you’re alright?’ you asked, running your fingers through his hair while he seemed to settle down.

‘I’m perfect,’ he assured you, and you believed he meant it. Still, you couldn’t help but feel worried given everything he had done today, ‘Everyone is alive, and they achieved their dreams, and you’re with me. You’re here with me,’ he said with sincerity and feelings that felt almost too much to handle at that moment, ‘How could I ever be anything but perfect when everyone,’ he looked down at the photo albums again and then back at you, ‘When everything is perfect this time around.’

He reached his hand and tenderly brushed his fingers over your eyebrow and then lowered through your cheek toward the corner of your mouth, ‘Would you believe me if I told you there was a time when you left me?’

You opened your mouth to argue, but he stopped you with his next words, ‘Not because you wanted to. Not because…you chose to do it. But because you were forced to, and…and I wasn’t the same after that. After you.’

A sole tear escaped his dark eye again, ‘But you’re here now. We’re both here now. And everyone we care for is here now too. And I’m sorry, I’m freaking you out so much, but I’m just so happy about it, you know?’

His words were confusing, but you still found it easy to say, ‘I don’t know much about a time when I would be forced to leave you. I can’t really image it, but,’ you took his palm and pressed it against your chest, ‘As you said, I’m here now, we’re here now, and I don’t plan to change that anytime soon. Please remember that, okay?’

He watched you for a moment as if scanning your face for any hesitation, and when he found none, he nodded, looking much better than before.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips against his forehead before you replaced it with your own. You remained like that for a while, sensing there wasn’t anything else you could do to make your boyfriend feel better before he calmed down enough for the two of you to go have dinner.

He assured you it was delicious, even if you knew it was a bit colder now than you would like, and then went to lay down together in the bed.

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ you asked against Mikey’s hair while holding him as it tickled your face, ‘I don’t want to be annoying; I just want to make sure.’

He held you tighter, and even if you couldn’t see it, you could feel his smile in his voice, ‘I know. I always loved that about you. Whenever you took care of me, you always made me feel worthy.’

You settled your chin against the top of his head while you felt his face against your chest, ‘You were always worthy. You’ll always be worthy,’ you thought about what he said before and finally added, ‘In every time.’

He was quiet momentarily before he sank into your further and let out a small sigh, ‘I’m glad.’

AN: Thank you for reading. English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for the mistakes and if I wrote it unclearly. Have a lovely day 😊

#SFW RB #OH MY GOD?!?!?? #Am I gonna spend all day crying ffs #This is so fucking good #Now I need a thousand more of this same scene #Just Mikey coming into conciousness in the good timeline with Reader #I'm in love with him #angst with a happy ending #TR I guess

[katsune-nya]

Manjiro Play-fighting hcs

Manjiro is pretty big on play-fighting, not only is it fun but also helps sharpen his martial arts. He play-fights with mostly Draken and Baji but you cause him the most fun.

Play-fighting mostly happens in the privacy of closed doors but he does often like to pick you up and toss you around in public but only around his friends. Weight isn't a problem for him, as we know, he's inhumanly strong. Although, if you're self-conscious, he'll just take to playing and not picking you up.

Manjiro can be very competitive when play-fighting with you, he does sometimes take things more seriously. As in, he'll pin you down harder than necessary and has hit harder on accident but he did apologize with tons of kisses and (half-eaten) dorayaki.

Mikey rarely lets you pin him, he thinks it's unfair to lie to you and will help you indirectly learn self-defense. He'll let you throw him around to please you but he's always victorious in the end.

Sometimes it can lead to... hotter moments. He likes the useless struggle you put up, it puts him in a more dominant head-space and he'll even piss you off by sucking at your neck and mocking you.

I can see Mikey having a bit of an ego because he's so strong so if he's in the mood to play-fight and you aren't he'll start to taunt you by wrapping an arm around you and pinning you to him till you break and try to fight back.

He'll pin your hands above your head while you're on his bed and stare you down as he leans closer and closer until you kick him off and he whines, saying that you really hurt him (no you didn't, he's a baby.)

#I- I AM- I AM NOW A HETEROSEXUAL WOMAANNNNNN #OmG I'm so in love with this big ass baby #SFW RB #NSFW RB #Idk #Anyways I love this little writing #I had to stop crying just to read it and giggle like a lil bitch

[katsune-nya]

Something embarrassing about me is that I'm super sad super often about not being able to participate in a lot of online spaces because people get aggressive towards pro/comshippers/dark content.

I just wanna talk about my little guy, but a lot of people genuinely think that just because you write about certain scenarios you're a bad person and wanna harm others 🫠.

I don't wanna impose or interact when I'm literally told not too, this is just a little rant 'cause I got super emotional lmao, I probably get my period tomorrow, no way I'm crying over this shit sivfidjf.

#The funniest (saddest) part is that in my dark content I am the vectim #Like I write a self insert and then make MYSELF suffer #Why am I seen as a bad person for that

[katsune-nya]

THIS!!! When you make an x Reader and give them ANY description you should at least comment on it at the beginning of the fic, like "Reader is white btw" "Reader has a dick" "Reader acts like x character" 'cause the idea of x Readers is... Inserting yourself in the story.

If you wanna write an OC or a specific type of reader, go ahead! I do it, but you have to let people know so we don't just start reading and think "Well I didn't know I was a DD cup, green eyed, tiny waist 19yo British girl", it breaks the immersion and sometimes even makes you build a grudge against the fic itself.

No hate but mayne I beg fanfic writers to stop making “character x reader/gender neutral reader” fanfics if all they’re gonna do is put their oc description for the reader…. Like why am I a “skinny pale skinned woman with thin pink lips and average sized boobs” like huh???? (This is literally the description for a story I just saw that claimed to be gender neutral and a x reader fanfic)

No hate to the authors but I beg of yall to work on that…if you wanna write about your oc that’s fine but don’t put it as a “x reader” fanfic and then put the reader as your oc’s name and give them all of your traits and habits that defeats the whole purpose…

#Anyone can write what they want but there's a tagging system and you can put lil notes before the story #I personally hate when they even name them #Well I guess my name is Angelica Celestia now

[katsune-nya]

Fanarts Masterlist.

Morning with the Haitani.

[katsune-nya]

Of course my first fanart was gonna be these losers.

Based on the headcanon @devilgirlnq told me about Rindo doing Ran's hair.

#Help I can't draw for shit #Tokyo Revengers #tokyo revengers fanart #ran haitani fanart #rindo haitani fanart #rindou haitani fanart #haitani brothers fanart

[katsune-nya]

*texting (Name)*

Baji: please don't leave me

Baji: you're my last hoe

Baji: hoep*

Baji: fukk

#LMAAAOOOO #tokyo revengers incorrect quotes

[katsune-nya]

send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome 🩷 💕

Hiiii

🥹🥹🥹 You are so sweet, great to get me out of a cranky mood!

#Lova ya FlutterShy

[katsune-nya]

#What about enjoying things and letting others do the same #I don't do so much for my comunity to get told I'm fucked for fiction lmao

[katsune-nya]

#AS AN INFP I FEEL OFFENDED BUT IT'S TRUE

[katsune-nya]

I wanna smooch Mikey. I wanna kiss him with a *Smooch!* sound. I wanna caress his hair and cover his face on kisses and love him and suck his dick 'till he cries.

[katsune-nya]

Shitposting and Memes.

What Kisaki looks like.

Toman as a picture.

#Tr memes #Tokyo rev Memes #Tokyo Revengers Memes

[katsune-nya]

Tokyo Revengers Characters' Search History. SFW.

@devilgirlnq 's version ♡.

Manjiro "Mikey" Sano:

Ken "Draken" Ryuguji:

Takashi Mitsuya:

Keisuke Baji:

Shinichiro Sano:

Shuji Hanma:

#tokyo rev #tokyo revengers headcanons #Tokyo revengers #mikey tr #mikey #mikey tokrev #sano manjiro #draken #draken tokyo revengers #ken ryuuguji #ryuuguji ken #tr baji #keisuke baji #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya tr #sano shinichiro #shinichiro tr #tokyo revengers hanma #shuji hanma #draken headcanons #mikey headcanons #mitsuya headcanons #baji headcanons #hanma headcanons #shinichiro headcanons

[katsune-nya]

Toman be like:

#Tokyo Revengers #tokyo revengers memes #Who is who

[katsune-nya]

𝟑:𝟓𝟑𝐀𝐌 | 𝐊𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀

Title: We Are All Monsters Here

Summary: After a fitful night, Kazutora has some confessions to make that he's been running from for far too long. Likes and reblogs appreciated! Link to my masterlist here!

cw: fem! reader, angst/comfort, canon spoilers, violence, cursing, mentions of character death, Kazutora deserves better :(

Kazutora stares at the patch of grass just beyond the window of your ground floor apartment. It's the only greenery in the vicinity, the only touch of nature in this dangerous area. The darkness cloaks the garden (if that communal space can really be called a garden) and the only light comes from the streetlight just in front of your apartment complex. It washes the room in murky orange and weak yellow.

It’s late and Kazutora feels both the need to sleep and the inability to do so, simmering just under his skin. His eyes ache and his skin is tight and stiff and all of it makes his stomach roil with tension. 

Nights like this are the hardest. When sleep seems so far away, when it’s just too fucking quiet and the only sound is the plink of water dropping from the tap in the kitchen and Kazutora feels the pressure in his brain get so intense he thinks it could explode.

‘Fucking dumbass,’ he mutters to himself as he flips the kettle on, dropping a teabag into the cup. At who he’s angry at remains to be seen. Himself, same tired issues persisting in a way that’s beyond exhausting to consider. The world, just for the way it is, unchangeable, unfixable.

You see the light from the hallway flash on and off from underneath your bedroom door, and then hear the soft padding of footsteps across the landing. Soft, tentative, hesitant, and all it takes is the hiss of running water in the pipes for you to know just what’s going on. 

You’ve been lying awake for the last 2 hours and the bedspread of white linen is creased and dishevelled from where you’ve tossed and turned and bunched it up in your frustrated hands. From here, you can see the pallid glow of streetlights through the gap in the curtain, and there is the distant thwack of branches against the grimy window, barely masked by the whistle of the wind.

And of course tonight is a night where sleep eludes you too. You look up at the ceiling, at the latticework of cobwebs crawling out from the fixture, which is nothing more than a single filament bulb, in the middle of the room. Cracks run through the dried plaster, and you imagine the spider’s spinning their webs of delicate silk, undulating and weaving across a ceiling already littered with air bubbles and damp.

‘Fuck…’ you mutter to yourself, rising and tossing the bedcovers aside. You rub your eyes, throw on an old and worn hoodie your roommate had happened to leave in your room and crack open the door, holding a hand against the chipped wood as if it'll lessen the creak of it.

Kazutora looks over his shoulder at you as you pad into your shared kitchen. The light is too bright for the both of you and you wince when you walk in, moving to pull a mug out from the dishwasher. 

‘Didn’t wake you, did I?’ His brow furrows with both concern and anxiety and his voice is hoarse and dry, a parting gift from a sleepless night that’s only halfway to being over.

‘No, course not Tora. I’ve been awake for a while.’ 

‘You too then?’ He asks and throws a tea bag into your cup. ‘Sucks doesn’t it?’

He knows you don’t have to answer. He knows why you find it so hard to relax enough to sleep, that your thoughts are loud and incessant and their claws are long and hook into you at night.

But this is a regular occurrence in your shared apartment and it was part of the reason why the arrangement had worked so well for you. He was running from something, and so were you, and you both respected each other enough not to ask about it.

‘How long have you been here?’ You make to sit at the table and chairs that serve as a breakfast bar as Kazutora fills the two cups with water, dropping in a spoon of honey in each.

The smoke curls from the surface and the heat of it against your cold hands is a welcome respite from the chill when he hands it to you. 

‘Not long. Couldn’t sleep, s’ too quiet.’ He pulls out the chair beside you and slumps into it, hunching over his mug of honey tea as if cradling its warmth. The hoodie he’s wearing seems to engulf him entirely, and the only part of his hands you can see are the fingers, white and tensed around his cup. He takes a shaky breath and his knee bounces against the tile floor, knocking gently into yours. 

‘Wanna talk about it?’ you probe. Looking at him there, with the fluorescent artificial lights casting a shadow over half of his face, you see the dark lines and mild puffiness under his eyes, stark against his pale skin. They’re dull, dimmed even, and when he looks up, his golden eyes seem to lose their sheen in the light. 

He’s never talked about the events of his past and like old bones he prefers them to be buried. But sometimes, the memories play like reels on an old film when he turns in for the night, and in his head are just the voices of people who used to be. 

Kazutora considers it as he watches the smoke and steam waft from the surface of his mug. He takes a tentative sip and winces when he realizes the tea is still too hot and you suppress a soft smile as you watch his nose scrunch and his throat bob up and down. The tattoo on the side of his neck is partially hidden beneath the fabric of his hood and a few wisps of hair escape the cord drawn tight around him.

‘I miss him…’The deep cadence of his voice is replaced by an uncertain whisper, and he seems to shrink in on himself, his arms crossed and hair hiding his face. ‘I miss him, but I was the one who killed him.’

You stay silent and wait for him to continue. 

You know what happened, it was never a secret. The papers and locals practically gushed over it, lapping it up like it was celebrity gossip, passing the rumours back and forth, dragging his name through the dirt, dragging him through the dirt by the scruff of his neck. It was why Kazutora had been so eager to have you as a roommate, why he’d accepted the first vacant apartment he had seen, when he had to pay more than half the rent, and make do with blinking street lights and the sound of sirens at night. He was running, always running from something. So were you and maybe that’s why this arrangement worked so well. 

‘I thought that if I did my time, I’d somehow make it better-’ he swallows thickly and takes a sip of tea, his knuckles white, bottom lip trembling as he sucks it behind his teeth. ‘But I didn’t, and I’m never going to be able to pay for it.’ 

He hoped that the time spent in jail, spent ruminating with other criminals, some of whom had committed crimes he was too afraid to even speak of, would assuage the guilt somehow, that if he suffered in there, he might hate himself less.

‘First time I saw his mom,’ he says, ‘I couldn’t even look at her. She forgave me, can you believe that? What kind of woman forgives her son’s killer?’

Maybe one who understood that you were a broken and damaged boy, who knew that her son’s happiest days were the ones he shared with you, who wasn’t going to hold it against you because you had never known a moment’s kindness.

His teeth grind together and the muscle in his jaw flickers with the movement. He scoffs, looks up at the fixture swaying on the ceiling, the light that winks in and out of life. 

‘I still go to his grave. Every weekend, after work.’ He glances at the checkered tablecloth, at the stain in the middle that he had tried hard only yesterday to scrub out, that he’d hidden with a vase of flowers because he just couldn’t seem to lift the pink splodge. ‘Fuyu still goes too. Sometimes we go together, talk to him for a little while, and leave some Yakisoba there.’ 

The draft emanating from the gap under the door makes the hairs on your arms rise, or maybe it’s him, his words, his story, his casting off of his secrets. 

‘You know, I’m starting to forget him…’  he says, shuddering and the sensation sends a bout of nausea running through his stomach. ‘I can hardly remember what he looked like- sometimes I take the pictures out just to see if I remember or not.’

Baji’s image flashes briefly in his mind. The long black hair, the golden eyes, cat-like in the sun. But the image is blurry and the near transparent film over it obscures everything else. Even when he shakes his head, the image only peels back into darkness.

‘I don’t want to forget him y/n, but I can’t even remember what he sounds like- the way he talked- all I can see is the blood and his body-’ he sniffles here, and uses his sleeve to wipe his eyes. You stand momentarily, tear a tissue from its stand and hand it to him, your hands brushing. His fingers are cold, frozen even.

Even now when he thinks back to that moment, there are gaps, entire pieces cut out. He remembers meeting Takemichi, remembers seeing a broken, beaten chifuyu lying on the floor. Even still, these things are fading into the recesses of his memory, and though he clutches at them , they dim and lose their sheen more every night. 

‘I wish I had died…’ he says and shuts his eyes, gulping down that hard lump in his throat. That familiar panic is hooking its claws into him and he takes a shuddering breath. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees the same thing. The scene replaying like a clip on repeat and it makes him want to be sick with himself, to vomit till there’s nothing left of him to feel anything.

Your heart snaps and splinters inside your chest and on instinct, you take his hands in yours, rubbing them between your palms. They’re so cold and you squeeze his fingers, bringing them to your lips to blow your hot breath onto his skin.

‘Tora-’

‘I wish I had died and then maybe it would be okay-’ his voice trails off and his breath hitches on the final word. His heart aches. It aches so much it’s crawling up his throat and choking him.

You don’t say it’s okay, you know it isn’t and that those trivial words can’t undo the pain, or the guilt he’s carrying that weighs him down. 

‘Stand up Tora,’ you say instead and the chair grates as you stand, the noise loud in your otherwise silent kitchen. 

‘What?’ 

‘I said stand… please.’ 

Looking at you there, your head framed by the sickly yellow light of the single filament bulb that swings in the centre of the ceiling, Kazutora thinks you look like an angel. The moonlight that dances on your skin is opalescent, ghostly even, and the soft white light that leaks through the blinds dances briefly in your eyes.

He stands, and the sleeves of his hoodie fall over his wrists. He looks so small and vulnerable, so out of place and defenceless that it makes your eyes well.

‘C’mere.’ You hold your arms out, stretching them wide and Kazutora shifts on his feet. His gaze is suspicious, apprehensive and he takes a small step back, feeling the back door graze him as he does so.

It stings, the initial rejection. But you refuse to drop your arms even as they ache and the earnestness in your eyes, eyes that are welling up, tears on the lashline, is what makes him take that first step towards you. 

Then he is moving, shuffling into your arms and it is the closest he’s ever been to another person, the hardest he’s ever been held, and your arms encircling his frame are warm and gentle. Your cheek brushes against his briefly and the sensation sends a lump into the base of his throat.

The moment your palm rubs a circle against his back, he sags under your weight, breath hot but hesitant on the crook of your neck. The wisps of his hair tickle the curve of your shoulder when he lays his head against it, as if you can suck up his pain. 

His arms around you are timid, cautious at first, too gentle, and you squeeze him lightly, pressing him into you. Maybe that's what it is, maybe you are trying to absorb his pain, wishing that he could mould himself into you and maybe one simple gesture is not enough, but it is the start. 

He hiccups, sniffles, and the shudder that runs along his body reverberates in yours too. There is no other sound, no words, just the sensation of his skin against yours, the scent of his shower gel still clinging to him like a winter’s chill in spring. He hopes you can’t hear the dangerously loud thrum of his heart, the way it descends into the pit of his stomach, a stone dropped into water.

There is no telling how long you both stay there, frozen in time with your arms around each other. Only that at some point he pulls back, his hands still holding your shoulders firmly in place and for the first time tonight, for the first time in a long stretch of difficult weeks, he gives you an uncertain smile.

You brush a tear from his cheek and your eyes are so kind and gentle that Kazutora can’t help but stare at the reflection of the streetlight which looks more like burnished gold than orange in them. 

‘I think…’ he says and shuffles awkwardly on his feet. ‘I’ll try and sleep now.’ The vice slowly loosening around his throat and the weight lifting itself off his chest almost makes Kazutora dizzy.

‘Me too. You know I’m only one door away if you need me, yeah?’ 

The tea is cold by this time, and the light peeking out from behind the frosted glass of your back door tells you dawn is soon approaching. The sky bleeds with pink and orange hues and both the small dilapidated kitchen and Kazutora’s tired eyes are suddenly a little brighter. 

You lean forward to kiss his cheek and he catches the scent of perfume still sticking to your warm skin, your hair brushing his earlobe. Instead of sending his heart racing, he calms, and the wild and anxious jitteriness under his skin settles into a mild thrumming which is more pleasant than nauseating.

He smiles at you, less hesitant and tentative this time and the sight takes your breath away, before he leaves and the soft pad of his feet against the carpet and creak of the door’s hinges tells you he’s in his room, shuffling into bed. It doesn’t take long for him to sleep this time and he focuses on the twittering of the birds just beyond his window, the distant  thwack of a branch against the side of the apartment and sleep comes so suddenly he almost doesn’t notice it.

It does not fix anything, it does not magically erase the secrets he keeps locked away, it does not assuage the guilt that threatens to tip him over the edge almost every day. But it is a start, you think, watching the sun climb proudly over the apartment blocks. And maybe for now, that is enough. 

A/N: Finally getting down to giving this to you guys, it's a little left field from what I'm usually used to but I hope you guys like it anyway, it's been sitting in my docs for over a year believe it or not. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Taglist: @reiners-milkbiddies @mxnjiros @islascafe @prettyiolanthe @sugusshi @snakegentleman @haitaniapologist @lonnie19 @nafarsiti @bejeweled-night-33 @ranscutedoll @the-travelling-witch @orchid3a @rottingreveries @qiiuusoup-xo @hoetani @sinfulseashell @welcome-to-the-internet-it-sucks @obitohno @tetsutits @burnishedcrown @sweet-seishu @saintokkotsu @nikokopuffs @sin-and-punishment @keiskyutie @mochimiyaas

#I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS ONE FOR AGES #IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE WRITINGS EVER #SFW RB #THANK YOU OP THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

[katsune-nya]

A sneak peak of Sanzu X Haitani!Reader. Honestly DubCon. You wants drugs and Sanzu has been wanting you for a while...

CW: Drug talk. Sanzu is a horrible person, but it's him. Reader is in withdrawal so she's a bitch and I love her for it.

~ • ~ • ~

He looks up at your eyes and lowers himself more on the couch, his legs spreading and staying open around your own.

He takes a puff. “The classics?” He says.

You chime in. “I need some.”

He smirks lethargically again. “Hm… but how will you pay me for ‘em?”

You roll your eyes. “Just tell me how much, it’s not like we’re in high school, I can pay you. Just please, I need a bit, just a little bit.”

He tsks, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t need more money, we earn enough.” He slides a hand up the outer side of your thigh. “I think something else might be more useful to me.”

Ok, you’re fully frustrated now. “God, just give me the drugs and go hire a prostitute!”

“No can do.” He says taking another puff.

“Fine! Get it over with quickly. And you better give me the good stuff for this. And this all STAYS HERE.” Truly, you would rather die than stay sober for one more second.

He smiles, all white teeth on show. This was a bad, bad idea.

He sits up again and closes his legs together, grabbing the outside of your thighs and pulling you up his lap. “You have to do everything I say. Otherwise, you getting nothing.”

You grimace slightly for a bit, there was no way of guessing what this one was into, but you’d do anything it took to make the suffering stop. You nod. “Whatever, just get to it.”

He smiles again, eyes on your lips and hands grabbing at your hips. “So grumpy.”

#Sanzu x reader #Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader #Sanzu x Reader smut #Sanzu x reader nsfw #Sanzu x yn #Sanzu x y/n #Sanzu x you #Sanzu smut #Sanzu nsfw #Tokyo Revengers smut #Tokyo revengers nsfw #TW.DubCon #Sanzu dubcon #Tokyo Rev smut #Tokyo Rev nsfw #TR smut #TR nsfw