justmyluckff - Tumblr blog

justmyluckff · 6 years

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My new ff featuring Chris Brown & Bey

Prologue: Brown Eyes

“I apologize often womanize.”

I listen as my husband opens old wounds with his tittle track to his album. He has performed this song countless times and each time it stings more than the last.

I thought I made peace with the trials throughout our love affair but as of lately I’ve grown uncertain. My music was used as a form of therapy and I will never want to deprive him of the same rights.

I just hate revisiting the pain he caused. Growing up I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t endure the same heart aches as my mother. Daily I question if I’m settling not only a woman but as a mother.

“Look at daddy go.”

Blue’s excitement causes me to the look up and giggle. She has been the glue that has kept our family united this long.

The tempo of things have shifted and he’s performing Bam. Blue is pretending to rap into a microphone. She is the spitting image of her father. I quickly grab my camera to record her antics.

“This is my favorite part mama.” She declares

“Y'all be talking crazy under them ig pictures.”

I instantly upload the video to my secret Snapchat. I know my fans adore me but certain things must remain sacred.

My cousin Angie responds to my snap with a message about meeting her in the lobby. I inform Blue to stay with her grandmother while I quickly run downstairs.

I give Julius a head nod to let him know we’re on the move. Julius is never off beat we always move as one.

Upon our arrival downstairs we notice Angie and two people I’ve never seen before.

“Hey Bey what’s up. I didn’t know if you forgot or not but you were supposed to meet the new Ivy Park interns today.”

“Oh shit that was today.

“Yeah that’s today. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to do it here. They were both so excited to meet you.”

I turn to the budding creatives to greet them.

“My name is Beyonce. What are your names? How old are you?”

“My name is Lauren. I’m 24. I’m a huge fan and extremely grateful for this opportunity.”

“Nice to meet you pretty girl. I’m the grateful one though.”

“Hey Mrs. Carter my name is Maurice. I’m 26 and ready to work boss lady.”

I eye the freckled face youngin who has a country twang in his cadence. For some reason his accent is extremely soothing.

“It’s been a pleasure meeting you both. I hope to see you two bright and early Monday morning. I will be working hands on with you guys for the upcoming collection.”

I bid everyone goodbye before heading back upstairs to the concert. I’m excited to see where new ideas and collaborations will take me with Ivy Park.

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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All Chapters

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/128125672997/prologuemisfit

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/128214667052/chapter-1guiding-ligh

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/129297661182/chapter-2-my-mentor

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/129722252097/chapter-3-mr-nice-guy

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/129728105892/chapter-4-new-york

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/129730574812/chapter-5-flashing-lights

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/130229425802/chapter-6helping-hand

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/130416894462/chapter-7home

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/130753921487/chapter-8-party-bullshit

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/130897505322/chapter-9-medusa

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131207898097/chapter-10-crush-on-you

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131231372052/chapter-10-pt-2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131762650822/chapter-11-bad-news

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131810589312/chapter-12-what-now

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131835163777/chapter-12-pt-2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/131987077257/chapter-13over

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132191871347/chapter-14blowout

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132205352307/chapter-15my-muse

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132375067037/chapter-16one-hell-of-a-night

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132673355862/chapter-17-the-aftermath

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132691322987/chapter-18common-ground

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/132775039932/chapter-19-unexpected-turns

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/133052968252/chapter-20drunken-night

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/133798472317/chapter-21-illusion-pt-1

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/133866132257/chapter-21-illusion-pt2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/134707989707/chapter-22-with-you

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135218254052/chapter-23-no-more-us

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135278308387/chapter-24exposure

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135793651137/chapter-25-love-me-or-leave-me http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135858750097/chapter-26-celebration

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135933752452/chapter-27-all-falls-down

Pt. 2 New Beginnings

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/135937819592/chapter-28scars

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/136240192292/chapter-29-sorry

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/136483024652/chapter-30-love-2-remember-pt1

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/138075638197/chapter-30-love-2-remember-pt-2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/138129797792/chapter-31-rolling-with-the-homies

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/141779738192/chapter-32turn-of-events

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/142918860722/chapter-33everyone-knew

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/144017415772/chapter-34-love

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/144827238392/chapter-35where-did-we-go-wrong-pt-1-pt-2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/145484442612/chapter-36-dont-be-gone-too-long

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146046234802/chapter-37-family-affair

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146075595947/chapter-37-family-affair-pt2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146509250047/chapter-38-the-proposal

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146509256927/chapter-39-vma-fiasco-pt-1

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146708748067/chapter-39-vma-fiasco-pt2

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/146871034637/chapter-40-love-taps

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/147409812807/chapter-41-sisters-pt-1

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/150739115237/chapter-42-healing-pt-1

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/160884697392/chapter-43discover

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/162102594307/chapter-44oh-baby

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/162102960557/chapter-45-youre-the-one

http://justmyluckff.tumblr.com/post/162104752952/46happy-endings

#chris brown fanfic #amber rose

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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I'm glad everything worked out for both couples!! And I'm glad Barry baby mama stopped tripping and grew tf up. I hope that Chris and Amber keep up with counseling even after the kids. I think it's good for them they have ducky communication skills. And Chris seemed like he really needed to get that all off his chest. 2 BABIES! A boy and a girl! They ain't gonna get NO SLEEP lol...

They’re gonna continue counseling. I’ll probably do lil shorts here and there. I just felt like I had to finish its been almost two years since I started and no one hardly reads it anymore lol. I really got super depressed and didnt have the passion for it anymore.

I’m still dealing with it but I’m creating more stories and ideas now to help me cope. You’re probably like girl I didnt ask all that lol.

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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46:Happy Endings

“Before your love baby I was muddy you showered me with a new beginning now I’m clean.”

7 months later

The waiting room of “Bundles Of Joy Hospital” has to be packed to capacity. The family members occupied a whole floor on their own. Joyce and Evelyn were bundled up in a corner praying. Mijo and Titi were engaging in small talk with Christopher's cousins and Rita smiled as she sat next to her father. The waiting room was occupied by the Browns mostly. Chris’s cousins and slew of aunties flew from Virginia to witness the birth of Ava Nicole Brown.

Chris paced around the outside of Amber’s room nervously sipping on an expresso. He has been consuming caffeine for a little over two hours. He opened his Instagram app to express what was on his heart. He uploaded a picture with a beautiful caption.

@Chrisbrownofficial: My baby mama harder than a lot of you niggas lol. Nah on a serious note I want to thank my best friend for loving me in spite of my flaws. We’ve been through more than people can ever fathom yet here we are still standing. I love waking up to you. I’m blessed God chose you to be my rib. Since the first day of Guiding Light I was hooked. I looked into your brown eyes and got lost in them. I love you more than life itself I wasnt aware I could love you more than I already do but as you sit in the delivery room with my child in your womb I love you more. Thanks for choosing me my little rose. Sn:Yall know I gave her that name right.

He then placed his phone back in his pocket and started to pace in nervousness again. Clinton witnesses his son as a nervous rut and approached him for a little fatherly advice.

“Calm down Brown everything will be fine.”

“I’m just so pumped daddy and also super nervous. What if my baby come out with no head or her cord gets stuck and chokes her?”

“Son I told you about watching too much damn Grey’s Anatomy.” The two men laugh, the crest of frowns in Chris forehead relax a little.

“You will be fine son Trust me. You will be great. Don’t sweat it.”

“Mr. Brown we need you it’s time.”

The nurse interrupts the men bonding session. Christopher releases a cool breath and his dad gives him a pat on the back for reassurance. Chris enters the room to witness a yelling Amber with her legs propped open.

“Fuck get this thing out of me. I’m never having sex again.”

“Ok baby it may hurt but don’t be a little outrageous.” Chris erupts into laughter

“You did this shit to me I hate you.” Amber spews obscene slurs towards Chris. He simply holds her hand as he vents

“Ok on the count of three I need you to push Ms. Thomas.” “One.. Two....Three...”

Amber rises her back a little in attempt to push the small person from her birth canal.

“Breathe breath.” The doctor instructs

“Woohsah.” Chris begins taking deep breaths releasing in and out. He swallows a wad of air feeling more at ease.

“Not you asshole me.” Amber screamed

Chris was all new to this he didn’t know what the man meant. He just stood by his lady and whispered encouraging words in her ear. She continued to push and push and a head was revealed. Chris keeled down and became consumed with emotions when he saw the small head.

After pushed a few more times the baby was welcomed to the world. Chris stood motionless in astonishment. He was now a father and his heart is full of joy. He stared at his daughter with nothing but love.

“Would you like to cut the cord Mr. Brown?” The nurse says

“Wait it’s another one push again Ms. Thomas.” The doctor says

“Oh hell nah another what?” Amber shouted in annoyance.

“Looks like you’re having twins now push for me.”

Chris stares in fear wondering what in the hell did he just involve himself in. Amber grunts and pants as she pushes another seed out of her what a pleasant surprise. Amber raises her back a little and forcefully pushes as hard as her limp body would allow her. The cries of the second child are heard and the room grows quiet.

“Looks like this one is a boy congratulations.”

“A boy? I have a son.” Christopher eyes well with tears this is becoming the best day of his life with every growing second.

“We had no idea we were having twins. We will have double the trouble. We need to think of a baby name and fast Christopher.”

Amber is exhausted yet you can still see the happiness exuding from her aura, Her eyes are red and her hair is a mess but she is still the most beautiful woman to Chris.

“Ok her name is Ava so do you want to do an A thing with the names?”

“No Chris I want him to be named after his father. This is your first son. You have Clinton middle name. We can do the same for him if you like?”

Chris stroked his growing beard as his brain mustered up different names. He didn’t want his son to be a junior because that would come with many expectations and comparisons at a young age. He wanted his son to have a piece of him yet still be an individual.

“How about Christian Malik Brown?”

“I like that baby it’s cute. It still has the Chris it in and the M middle name. Welcome to the world Christian Malik Brown Ava Nicole Brown.”

The couple basked in their new found happiness, two additions to the family was unexpected but they will make it work regardless. The twins will be loved by so many. They have many family members in the waiting room and two leaders who endured everything to get to this point. Fairy tales aren’t normally real but life has shown this couple that unconditional love can conquer all and weather any storm.

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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Chapter 45: You’re The One

“We’ve had our ups and downs but I gotta have you around.” (Third person perspective)

Christopher and Amber walked in the towering building hand in hand. They were greeted by a blonde haired receptionist.

“Hi Amber you must be here to see Dr Graham?”

Amber simply nods her head before following the young lady down the narrow hallway. The group of three make a left turn at the end of the hallway and walk into an office decorated with plaques and prestigious awards. The couple is told to be seated.

Christopher is becoming nervous at this point. He hasn’t been to a therapist in over three years. The first time he saw one was under his mother’s orders. He was really depressed when Amber vanished and he didn’t know how to cope.

“Are you ok baby?” Amber strokes the top of his exposed knees.

This is his moment to tell the truth about everything he’s had bottled up for years. The resentment he had towards her was evident but no one truly knew to what extent it traveled.

“I’m fine Giselle.”

Dr. Graham walks in humming a cheerful tone. He shakes the hand of Christopher and gives Amber a friendly nod.

“Chris I’m glad that you are joining us today. You are always the primary topic of conversation and the cause of majority of her pain.”

Chris shifts in his seat uncomfortably. He didn’t like the vibe of Dr. Graham or what he was insinuating about their relationship.

“You don’t know shit about me.” Chris defends himself from his accusations.

“I only know what she’s told me. So help me understand who you are.”

“If she’s been in here for months acting like all I’ve done is hurt her than she’s full of shit and lies. I love her more than I love my damn self.”

“I never said you didn’t love me I was just unsure at times.”

“What the hell were you were unsure about? Please help me understand.”

“I think what she’s saying is that at times your behavior confused her.” The therapist grants clarification Chris didn’t ask for.

“I’m not talking to you homey she can speak for her damn self.”

Chris turns to face Amber. She sees the pain lingering in his big brown eyes.

“I just feel like you hurt me a lot baby. Sometimes you did it with no remorse.”

“And you didn’t hurt me over the years? You’ve been perfect patty through this whole fucking ordeal?”

Chris releases a mocking laugh as he sways his head back and forth. Pain is all she’s caused him hell that she be in her middle name.

“You have this man thinking I ruined your life or something when all I did was love you from day one. Since day one of guiding light my life has been all about you with zero complaints but of course I get no credit for that.

You caused people to hate me, my fans turned their backs on me and I never gave a fuck. You want to talk about Pain? I carried your burdens and mines since the beginning. I never allowed you to take ownership for the shit you did. I took everything to the chin from my heart. You abandoned me and killed my child.

And even then I still loved you. I tried to fucking kill myself because you were gone. Do you know how many fucking nights Mijo found me passed out from trying to take my life? I thought if you didn’t want me I had no purpose in this world. Don’t tell me shit about pain. You had this man thinking I just broke you when I’m the one who’s broken and needs saving.

Do you know it got so bad that I couldn’t work, eat or sleep. After everything I tried to hate you but I couldn't because I loved you that much. You will always occupy the space in my heart. I’ll fucking die for you and sometimes it scares me because I don’t know if you’ll do the same.

If this man pulled out a gun right now I would rise up but I think that you will take a few seconds to ponder on your decision. I love you without logic reasoning I’ll go to the end of the fucking earth for you even after everything so when you question my love that bothers me baby.”

Chris nose is flaring and tears are escaping his eyes. Tears that he’s held in for years. Tears he was always afraid to shed because he wanted to be strong for both parties involved. He was the hero in this love story the men wearing armor have no time for tears. Amber stares at him with an apologetic glare she never knew he felt those things.

She never took his feelings into consideration. Deep down she felt he had an obligation to her because he made it that way from day one. He was everything to her and she wasn’t even half of that.

“I’m sorry Maurice. I never meant to cause you pain and damage you the way I did. I don’t deserve you.”

“You do deserve me you’re my better half.”

“How am I your better half after everything I did?” She sniffles.

Chris grabs a few tissues and begins dabbing at her reddened eyes. Dr. Graham is impressed at the selfless behavior Chris displays. This young man truly loves this woman.

“You are a mirror reflection of me. You are the mother of my child. And though you’ve made mistakes you are amazing. You have been supportive since day one. You were there for me during trials in my life when I needed a friend. You love me in spite of my flaws.

We will never be perfect but we’re perfect for each other. It seems like a very complicated love but its only meant for us to understand. Just because you’re hurt doesn’t mean love automatically flies out of the window. That’s not how love works baby. You have amazing qualities I see my future in your eyes.”

Dr. Graham snakes his head towards the ticking clock on his wall. It appears time for this couple’s session has run it’s course.

“Hey guys time has run out but if you two like we can make this a regular thing.”

Chris looks to Amber who’s staring out in space.

“Yes we’d like that.”

Chris response shocks Amber. He wasn’t lying when he said he was in it to win it this time. They needed everything to be placed on the table before the little one arrived.

Over the course of the next few months Chris and Amber frequented therapy, each time felt better than the last. Those sessions not only made them stronger as a couple but also tested their relationship. After many sessions as a couple with Chris she had a different outlook on certain things.

She thought if she could forgive Chris and vice versa she could forgive her father. She set up a lunch with him to hash things out. She would soon be a parent and it was only right to release all baggage she carried from her childhood. After the outing Amber became comfortable with her old man. The two had many similarities and the budding connection made Rita happy. Things were finally looking up for the once broken girl. She was now a grown ass woman in control.

#chris brown fanfic #amber rose fanfic

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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Chapter 44:Oh Baby

“To have your eyes on a little me that would be fine forever.”

“So you’re trying to kill my child again?”

I’m infuriated right now. I arrived a little over ten minutes ago and we’ve been arguing well I’ve been yelling and she’s been crying.

“It’s not like that Maurice let’s just sit down and talk about this for a second.”

“You weren’t going to tell me. I had to find out from Rita.”

She begins sniffling uncontrollably her chest is heaving up and down. Her words are becoming inaudible. She’s just pacing around her bedroom in tears.

“Stop that.”

I grab a hold to her waist cradling against her neck. I pick her up to place her on her bed. I lie next to her and press her body against mines.

“I’m just so scared. What if I’m not a great mom? What if we break up once the baby’s born?”

“In order for us to break up we have to get back together first. Baby you know I will never abandon you or my child.”

She reclines her head on my chest and sighs. I kiss the strays of hair that are sticking up from her wig.

“What the fuck are we really doing Amber Giselle Thomas?”

We have to be in this to win this now. We are having a child a baby is serious business. We have to be together. I want us to be a family.

“As of right now we’re laying down Christopher.”

“Dont be a smart ass Amber. I’m ready for us to be together again. I miss you. I need you.”

“I need you too but I’m so scared. Ok I’ll try this again under one condition. If you go to therapy with me so we can hash out all of our problems.”

“Ok cool that’s fine with me.”

I’m willing to do anything for this to work. I can’t keep walking around the world with my other half missing. She is the mother of my child for a second time around. This must be God’s fate. I need her.

“You really mean that baby daddy?

She begins kissing the side of my jaw and gnawing at my ears.

“Yes baby mama I do.”

“I love you so much. I’m ready for us to be one again. Lets make it work Chris.” I could only smile at the whole outcome of this. I’m not even mad anymore

“First things first we are going to the doctor in the morning.’ I say sternly

She extends her arms in the air and releases a soft yawn. He eyelids flutter before she closes them. In no time she’s lightly snoring against me. ______________________________________________ Me and Amber are awaiting the results of the baby in agony. The nurse ensured us that everything would be ok, but you never know with these things.

“Are you ok baby?” I stroke Amber’s hand as she nervously giggles. The nurse walks back in with a clipboard in her hands.

“Ok mommy and daddy to be from my research it says here you are ten weeks. Congratulations you two.”

“I can’t wait to have my little princess running around she’s going to be so cute.” Amber says

“Oh hell nah I’m going to have to break these little niggas neck. I want a son first then a daughter so he can protect her.

“First time parents huh?” She inquires as she scribbles down on a notepad.

“Something like that.” Amber mumbles in a somber tone

“Everything seems pretty normal but for the little one I want you to intake more fruits for vitamins and here’s a prescription for your prenatal. If you want to work you still can treat your life as normal as possible. You can still have your modeling gigs and outings.”

Amber smiled at that. I know it’s been a while since she was in the spotlight after everything that transpired months back.

“That’s great to hear that Nurse Jones.” She smiled

I gave her a piggy back to the car she held on for dear life. I look to the left and there were a few cameras flashing. Fuck someone must have told the papz we were here.

“It was only a matter of time before they found out anyway.” Amber whispered in my ear.

I’m nervous about tonight Chris and I decided to have dinner at his to tell everyone the news. Tianna, Barry, my mom, mama J and Rita will all be in attendance. We had to do damage control and fast. Everyone would be upset if they found out through the blogs about what was happening.

The doorbell chimes causes me to peer my head over to the left. I removed my apron and picked up my gloves to take my homemade buffalo chicken lasagna from the oven. It’s Chris’s favorite dish. I remove the butter garlic toast from the bottom rack then I proceed to trot towards the door.

“Hi pumpkin.” My mother greets me with Joyce following suite. They became the best friends a while ago. They do everything together including bible studies and brunches. I think it’s kind of cute.

Joyce smiles brightly exposing those deep dimples I love to see. She holds me tightly her embraces always feel warm.

“Something smells good in here. Where’s that knucklehead son of mines?”

“He’s in the shower mama.”

Mama Joyce and Evelyn immediately try to take over the kitchen. They walk over to the pantry to pull out different seasonings and things to prepare.

“Oh no you two old ladies sit down. I got this. Dinner is already ready” I say putting my feet down.

“Well alright I’ll just pour a little wine.” My mother grabs three glasses and fills them to the rim.

“No mommy I really can’t drink right now.” I protest

“Come on pumpkin the cook always needs a little something.” She encourages.

“Stop trying to get my girl to drink mama in law.” Chris appears in the kitchen looking fine as ever. I bite down on my body left feeling myself get moist.

The jingling of keys turn our attention the door. Barry, Tianna and Rita all walk in at the same time. Thank God now I can eat. The little one is hungry. Chris begins to set the table in his dining room, he places silverware down and glasses.

“Something must be going on. My baby bringing out his good plates.” Mama J chuckles

Once everyone was properly seated they begin to dig in the pasta with their forks. The mmms coming from their mouths were enough to let me know I threw down.

“Damn baby I swear I have to marry you. This is always so good.”Chris says

“Ok come on with the important announcement.” Mijo speaks for the first time since saying hi to everyone.

I take a deep breath swallowing a wad of spit. Chris strokes my thigh for encouragement.

“We’re having a baby.” Chris says loudly.

“Thats awesome lil bro.” Mijo says

“Thank God.” Rita sighs in relief. I playfully roll my eyes at her.

“I’m going to be an auntie.” Titi says

“My babies.” Joyce coos with tears on the brim of her eyes. My mother jogs over to where I am and begins rubbing my small pudge.

Everyone’s excitement made me tear up. I wasn’t expecting these reactions then again the people in this room always wanted me and Chris to be together no matter what.

Seeing my family this happy made me happy. Chris has loved Amber since meeting her years ago. He’s never loved anyone the way he does her.

“Since we’re dropping bombs me and Mijo have something to say too.” I look over to Tianna

Chris is going to kill me, dig up my body then bury me again. Amber will probably curse us out.

“We eloped in Vegas a few days ago.” Tianna dangles her diamond ring as I fiddle with my wedding band.

“You sneaky motherfuckers. I was supposed to be your maid of honor.”Amber spews

“Don’t mind her and her hormones I’m happy for you brother. You’re lowkey and aren’t the flashy type anyway you hate attention. That was the perfect way to do it.”

“Thanks wonder twin. I just want to be a great husband.”

Things have been looking up for me lately. I have my wife and now I have joint custody of my son. After his mother realized using him as collateral to hurt me was only hurting him she started to think more rationally.

“All my babies are doing so well I’m proud.”

“Don’t cry mama Joyce.”

I love Joyce so much my mother passed away when I was young I met Chris at fourteen and he’s been my family ever since. His mom is my mom, his cousins are my cousins and so on and so on.

Dinner was now over and the women were upstairs talking about girl shit like romance and crimping hair. Me and my brother was in the basement playing video games.

“What is it truly like to be a dad Barry?”

“Man Chris it’s indescribable it’s the most beautiful thing. You have an extension of you walking around the earth now you have to live for them, grow for them, watch for them, pray for them. Once a child is here everything is placed in perspective.

You see clearer. You feel different. You move different. It is the purest form of love. Your child will give you a sense of comfort and unconditional love you never knew existed.”

“Damn man that’s deep. I just want to be the best. Clinton wasn’t always perfect but my dad was a great father. When he and mama broke up he still was there for me you know but I don’t want my seed to go through the bullshit I did. I want a stable environment.

We have to leave the petty shit behind before this baby comes. That’s why I’m going to therapy with baby girl. I can’t fuck this up Barry. I’ve did a lot of stupid shit but I want to be perfect for my seed.”

“Chris you’ll never be a perfect parent because it’s unrealistic however you will give your child love. Shit do you know how many times I dropped my my on his head when he was an infant? Nigga I couldn’t change diapers. I used to give him real milk. I didn’t know shit.

One time I called mama J and cried my eyes out. She told me everything would be ok. I was so overwhelmed I felt like a failure and that my son didn't love me. You’ll do good Chris. You have us for support and even if you do make mistakes its ok.”

Chris parked his beer at his lips before chugging it to the head. I can tell by the curiosity in his eyes he was listening and taking in everything I just said. Parents are super heroes even though we try not to be. We aren’t perfect we’re just humans it’s the circle of life.

#chris brown fanfic #amber rose

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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Damn she pregnant.! Amber and Chris need to get it together this back and forth making my head hurt. They love each other, so what's the problem? What is she so scared for??

Amber has always been a fool. I think at times she feels she doesnt deserve Chris love so it bothers her. I just wanna thank you for staying down. I’m in my last three chapters and you always kept it real.

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justmyluckff · 7 years

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Chapter 43:Discover

*2 months later* Amber and I have been hanging tough since she reached out to me. She still hasn’t had a conversation with our father and I would like her to because I’m certain his days are limited.

“Do you like this mini skirt riri?” Amber places a skirt up to her thick waist. Me and Amber are looking for outfits for her up and coming birthday bash. This will be her first public appearance in months.

“It’s cute sis go try it on.”

“I’m big as fuck though. I may not be able to fit this.”

Amber frowns and places it back on the rack. She’s been getting bigger lately. I guess the time away from the limelight gave her healthy weight.

“Try it on babe you might fill out nicely in it.”

“I don’t care let’s go get something to eat I’m starving.”

She forcefully grabs my arm dragging me out of the department store. Talk about agressive

“What do you want to eat fat mama?” I tease her rubbing her belly.

“I want some Chinese food let’s go to my house and order it.” I nod my head agreeing with that notion.

In no time we were stuffing our faces with egg rolls and sesame chicken.

“Oh my god this is so good.” Amber moans as she bites into her rice.

“Slow down fat ass.” I tease her

“This is so go--” She stops mid sentence and vomit erupts from her mouth. She places her hand towards her mouth to try to stop it.

“Are you ok Amber?”

“I’m not sure maybe I have a stomach virus or something?”

“MMmhuh.” I say lowly

She runs to the restroom to clean herself off. I go to the cabinet to get carpet cleaner and wet wash cloths. I attempt to scrub and scrub, I’m able to get the vomit up but it left a mark. She'll have to call Stanley steamer or something..

“I don’t know what came over me.”

Amber walks back into her living room I look at her suspiciously mentally placing two and two together. She’s been gaining weight constantly, being a fat ass and extra moody lately.

“Are you pregnant?” I blurt out looking at her sideways

“How would I be pregnant?”

“Amber you think I’m stupid? Place two and two together.”

“I can’t be pregnant I just can’t. I haven’t had sex with anyone.” I lie through my teeth

A while ago me and Chris had a slip up which led to me keeping my distance from him once again. I’m scared.

“Amber I know about you and Chris. I’m no fool.”

I just stand there staring into space I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m with child. We are still working on us. I’m just uncertain

“Fuck I’ll take a test to prove to you I’m not pregnant.”

“Ok hold on for a second.”

She walks to her purse and pulls out three or four tests.

“Who the hell carries shit like that around?” I stare at her wide eyed

“You never know sis?”

I snatch the boxes out of her hand in nervousness. In my route to the bathroom she begins to follow me.

“No you stay here. I don't need any more pressure.” I shoo her away with my hands.

She disregards my wishes following me down the hall anyway.

“Ill just wait out here.”

I lock the door to ensure she wouldn't barge in on me. I release a cool breath in the air praying for the results I want. This will change my life forever.

I peed on each stick one by one hoping that my outcome would be negative yet each one read the same thing “Pregnant”

I feel like that hopeless eighteen year old all over again, yes the circumstances are different now but I’m not sure if we’re ready for a child.

“Do you need some help in there?” Rita calls out to me I unlock the door and she races to hug me.

“I’m going to be an auntie I knew it.” She cheers

“This isn’t good Ri.” I say somberly with my head low.

“Girl that man loves you. This isn’t like it used to be. Don’t get too caught up in your own thoughts. Sometimes your mind wanders and you make up scenarios don’t exist.”

“ I just need some time to myself to think about this. I’ll call you later.”

“Fine I know where I’m not wanted. Just remember to tell your baby daddy .”

I begin to bawl my eyes out once I’m alone. I know he will be a great father that’s not the question we just have been too unstable for so long.

“This time she’s really out my life. I know I gotta get her back. Just need one night to hit it right but I can’t her alone nooooo.”

I’m laying down one of the tracks I want to put on my next album I haven’t thought of a title or anything yet. This specific song makes me think about Amber and the way she pushes and pulls me.

Mijo walks in the room causing me to the leave the booth.

“What’s up brodie?”

“Nothing much Brown I’m just exhausted. Tianna is always busy and I’ve been trying to sit down and talk to here.”

“She’s in medical school nigga. She graduated undergrad early and now she’s in med school. I’m sure things aren’t easy for her. She’s in school and working at the hospital.”

“Well damn its fuck how I feel huh?”

I didn’t mean it that way. I’m just thinking he needs to look at both sides. What Tianna does isn’t easy

“Nah I didn’t mean it like that. Just remember love is about compromise and it wont be easy. You guys are engaged. You are an a&r for Cbe. You’re always scouting talent. Just sit down and talk and incorporate each other in you two work schedules.”

“Damn where is Chris and what have you done with my brother?” He jokes

“Man I’m damn near 25 and I’ve made enough mistakes in love I've learned my lesson.”

“Is that right lover boy? SO what’s going on with you and little bit?”

“We haven’t spoken she’s running from me. We had sex one night and I told her I was ready to try us again. Of course she said no because she enjoys running from me.”

I really love Amber Giselle Thomas but the back and forth drives me insane.

“Think about all the things you two have been through bro. It’s understandable why her guard is constantly up. She went through that shit with you just to end up in an abusive relationship. She was humiliated publicly. She’s been through so much think about her whole life.”

I sigh taking in his wisdom he’s right, but one thing I feel gets swept under the rug is since the beginning I made my life all about her and never released a complaint from my mouth. So it annoys me when she questions my love for her. My phone is ringing near the switchboards,

I walk over to answer and to my surprise it’s a picture of Rita on the screen. The whole sister bombshell freaked me out a little Originally it was a weird thing to get past but we all are in different spaces. Rita is a great friend and we talk casually.

“Hey yellow mellow do you have some time to talk?”

“Yes what’s up Rita bot?” I tease her

“I don’t know how to tell you this but fuck it. My big sister is too damn stubborn. She’s pregnant Chris and I’m certain it’s yours. I know she’s hard headed so i’m telling you.”

“Damn are you serious? How you know?”

“I was there with her when she took several tests. I just don’t want what happened last time to take place again out of fear.”

I cringe at the thought of her aborting my child and breaking my heart once again. I refuse to feel that pain again.

“Damn Imma call you back.” I quickly end the call in frustration.

“Why the long face Chris?”

“Apparently Amber is pregnant and Rita was worried. I can’t go through what I did last time man. I’ll kill my fucking self.”

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