junkyardlynx

[junkyardlynx]

tired of repeating the perpetual cycle of loss and suffering tbh

tired of my body rebelling against me

tired of my mind working overtime to come up with reasons to hold on for another day

something's gotta break other than me, please

i'ms o broke and fucked and stressed i'm just

ugh

[junkyardlynx]

Laying awake in bed after taking some benadryl to try and get a little sleep

Ugh

Stress can we not do this darlin

[junkyardlynx]

i need to renew my car's registration by the 7th

i do not have money to do that lmao

aaaaa....

[junkyardlynx]

status update.

i'm not doing well, but i'm alive. i have a small abscess on my cerebellum and i'm being treated with a couple antibiotics and a steroid. i'm not working right now.

i could use help monetarily but i feel bad asking.

i could use friends, though.

talk to me if you feel like talking to someone. i've lost a lot the last few months but i'm doing my best to stay positive and bright now.

[junkyardlynx]

status update.

i'm not doing well, but i'm alive. i have a small abscess on my cerebellum and i'm being treated with a couple antibiotics and a steroid. i'm not working right now.

i could use help monetarily but i feel bad asking.

i could use friends, though.

talk to me if you feel like talking to someone. i've lost a lot the last few months but i'm doing my best to stay positive and bright now.

[junkyardlynx]

[junkyardlynx]

took the book i wrote for you off my page

even if it means one less chance

to sell a piece of art i've made

it means i'm one step closer

to letting go

of the love we shared

take this, these poems written true

and leave me

alone, desolate, desperate

as you've decided to

i cannot take back the things i felt

the things i still feel

but i can stop advertising my heartbreak

and try to move on

as hard as it,

as impossible as it is,

to just move along.

[junkyardlynx]

gonna go out on a limb and say it's a good thing that i don't know anyone with drugs because i want to obliterate my brain and feel good for once

also i have a lesion on my cerebellum and i feel like my life is a cosmic joke

goodnight

[junkyardlynx]

it's hard to just move along.

[junkyardlynx]

Worry_lines

[junkyardlynx]

I can't stop watching this omg 🥺💞💞💞

[junkyardlynx]

making a choice.

i'm just gonna try to be relentlessly positive. if i've lost it all i have something to reach for. if nobody loves me, they're missing out. i'm smart and talented and even when everything is breaking i still try my best.

i'm here.

for better or worse, i'm here, and i'm gonna make the most of it i can.

[junkyardlynx]

I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm just in an extremely shit life situation and have to accept I'm losing everything all over again to a degree I haven't before, up to and including my home. Thank you though.

[junkyardlynx]

i uh

i have covid, i've been bedridden and off work for the last week and a half. i went in one day last week to try and force myself through it before getting a positive test result yesterday.

i'm an immunocompromised person living alone with no living relatives and i'm going to be extremely tight on cash.

i'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow but i feel like i can barely catch my breath sitting still and everything in my entire body hurts and i just want to sleep forever because i'm so exhausted but i can't seem to stay asleep.

if you can do anything to help me out, i would greatly appreciate it.

gonna reblog this with a few links, namely my gumroad account with some poetry books and my paypal.

honestly, i'm so tired. in every way. i feel defeated in every way. but i don't want to give up if there's still a chance of some sunny days ahead. if i'm going to die one day anyway, might as well stick around and see what life has to offer. right?

thank you.

#sorry

[junkyardlynx]

well, suppose i will curl up sad and alone in bed while you two are happy together and when you bother to look in on me i pretend everything is okay and that i dont want to do a fat gainer off the empire state building because like as not i still prefer your company to anyone else's even if i'm aware that we are no longer lovers or close friends even because of the hurt you have visited upon me even as i pulled back to let your romance together flower because you were clearly done with me anyway but i am too stupid and too stuck to let go and i want very much to let go but i can't

lovely day i think

[junkyardlynx]

rent is coming up again very soon and i'm still struggling to stay afloat, sorry to keep passing this around but i don't want to lose the last bits of my life i still have

i uh

i have covid, i've been bedridden and off work for the last week and a half. i went in one day last week to try and force myself through it before getting a positive test result yesterday.

i'm an immunocompromised person living alone with no living relatives and i'm going to be extremely tight on cash.

i'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow but i feel like i can barely catch my breath sitting still and everything in my entire body hurts and i just want to sleep forever because i'm so exhausted but i can't seem to stay asleep.

if you can do anything to help me out, i would greatly appreciate it.

gonna reblog this with a few links, namely my gumroad account with some poetry books and my paypal.

honestly, i'm so tired. in every way. i feel defeated in every way. but i don't want to give up if there's still a chance of some sunny days ahead. if i'm going to die one day anyway, might as well stick around and see what life has to offer. right?

thank you.

[junkyardlynx]

yeah, i should go

if someone is my first priority and i am literally not even on their list anymore i'm fooling myself

i've lost my job, my health again, and now all my friends and loved ones once more

that's okay, though

if i live i'll start over somehow and if i end up dead from life problems i won't make anyone mourn me

so it really works out best this way, i think