junglemonkey

[junglemonkey]

January 25

Thecen: an extinct species of dog similar to an Italian greyhound, but with a central ridge of fur on its back, stripes on its flanks, and nine-inch fangs

Chente: an Italian word for a non-specific number of things

Centh: the hundredth one of something

[junglemonkey]

January 23

Smeulf: Smeagol’s uglier brother

Negan: A powder used for erasing things

Agnet: A network made up of tiny old women

Entag: The kind of tag only found inside a garment after it has been put on and scratching one’s skin for half a day

Thrids: A kind of garden pest that leaves the plants alone but scrawls graffiti on one’s fences, walls, and plant pots

Breump: A lump of fancy French bread

Murp: An eructation resulting from the consumption of tacos

[junglemonkey]

January 22

Raoin: Irish rain

Spod: A potato made out of soybeans

Clanue: A single-person boat with an onboard wet bar

Launce: When you launch something by cutting it loose from somewhere else

[junglemonkey]

January 21

Fitesy: The feeling of kinda sorta wanting to punch someone, but not very much

Yifts: Presents of consumable items like candy or cookies

Groani: The person who loves Crotchty

Angori: The kind of yarn used to knit rage sweaters

[junglemonkey]

January 20

Verysu: A truth whispered in someone’s ear while hiding in a closet

Usery: The quality of something that can be used

Yurves: A popular men’s name in Splotvia

Nabloi: The collective term for angels that protect kidnap victims

Bloan: The phenomenon where the amount of money you pay back is four times larger than the amount of money you borrowed

[junglemonkey]

January 19

Samsed: To have made a sandwich that one will eat while sitting on the couch in one’s underwear

Onut: Half a donut

Deski: A piece of Ikea furniture that has NOTHING to do with desks

[junglemonkey]

January 16

Pelch: the skin of a peach, used to make gloves and shoes

Bioelf: an elf that runs on used french fry grease

Blofie: taking a picture of oneself when one is smashing one’s face up against a window and puffing out one’s cheeks

Fiblio: a lie published in a pamphlet

Filboe: the threads that wear out on a jacket, necessitating the addition of a suede elbow patch

[junglemonkey]

January 13

Asunde: where things go when they are rent asunder

Sudane: the quality of being Southern

Naused: being made nauseated by something

[junglemonkey]

January 11

Gladio: the Muskateer that was bumped from the group early on for being too relentlessly chirpy

Dogali: a canine who molds your personality to suit it, training you to be a more subservient owner

Doil: the singular form of doili 

Gloida: the technical term for the tiny lenses of oil on the top of soup

Logiad: the lesser-known trip of a Trojan War survivor that was very short and uneventful because the traveler had a well thought-out itinerary before leaving

[junglemonkey]

January 9

Yettin: a group of Yettas

Sudgee: the other end of the squeegee that puts the soap on

Haulis: the shrapnel that blows off the top of a truck carrying yard waste

Woil: a bump that could be either a wart or a boil, but you don’t want to poke it to find out

Showli: what Mowgli’s agent made him change his name to after he sold his story to Hollywood

Bweerr: the sound a Dremel makes

Hovids: the class of things that hover

Yamlaa: the song all yams sing when being picked

[junglemonkey]

January 8

Sixen: to cut something into six pieces

Culted: achieving the state of having a rabid following who will do whatever you say, no matter how insane

Ductel: a multinational that controls the tin can-and-string industry

Declut: the act of weeding out one’s chicken collection

Shanam: a chamois made of ham

[junglemonkey]

January 6

Pinge: to intrude upon someone or something, but from a great distance

Nepid: being nude because it’s too hot out to wear clothes

Pigden: the place where pigs go to gamble and smoke opium

Pidge: an amount 1/10th the size of a smidge

Pigne: in Italian, pinecones. In English, pimples on pigs

Locksh: the whatsit yer key doeshn’t fit inna when you’re back, um, thingy...from the pub....

[junglemonkey]

January 2

Fopt: either the state of being very fussily dressed and groomed, or the sound of an air gun firing

Pito: a male flatbread

[junglemonkey]

January 5

Bearal: of or like a bear

Pepzid: an enzyme secreted by the liver that regulates interest in reality television

[junglemonkey]

January 4

Lugier: the guy on the luge

Lurge: when one is in a traffic jam and sees the car ahead begin to move and one puts one’s foot on the gas in order to stop the guy in the next lane from moving into the now-empty space in front of one, only to have to stop short because the car in front only moved four inches

Draama: the tantrum of a four year old

Nurp: a turtle without a shell

[junglemonkey]

December 30

Nudkin: a tiny baby with no clothes on

Glubes: skin tags or cysts that look like little balls stuck to the skin

Selb: the part of a priest’s vestments that winds around the upper leg and ties around the waist, although no one knows either its origins or why it’s worn, since it’s constricting and uncomfortable

Sleg: that stuff at the bottom of your glass of chocolate milk

Forpti: a hat worn by factory workers in Eastern Europe that resembles a cross between a fez and a tin can

Topir: a semi-aquatic mammal resembling a long-nosed hippo, but made entirely out of plants

Frop: the sound of slapping a piece of raw meat with another piece of raw meat

[junglemonkey]

December 29

Mousid: the most important piece of historical epic poetry ever created by mice

Duoism: the quality of being two things at once

Dumiso: a coffee drink made with two shots of espresso and a shot of arsenic

Smoudi: a garment worn by ancient Egyptians that closely resembles today’s golf visors

Sumoid: to resemble a sumo wrestler

Helbum: a collection of Satanic music by a single artist or band

Huble: a type of skin eruption, normally on the face, that reminds a person that they’re not as good-looking as they think