jazzinseoul

[jazzinseoul]

Storytime: My Awkward Almost-Romance with My Language Partner

I’m currently on an Amtrak train from NYC -DC, and looking out the window has me feeling angsty and nostalgic.  Plus, being that I have 3.5 hours to kill, now seemed like the perfect time to recount the awkward almost-romance I had with my former Korean language partner. It’s been almost 4 years since this series of unfortunate events happened, and yet it still feels like just yesterday I was making a fool of myself.

PSA WARNING: LONG AND CRINGEY TOWARDS THE END

…

BACKGROUND INFO

It was the fall of my sophomore year of college.  Around mid-September, my Korean professor announced to the class that a coordinator from the Korea WEST program had contacted her about wanting to connect program scholars with our class to do language exchange. At first, not a single person in the class raised their hand. We were all still beginners and could barely communicate anything past basic phrases like “Where is the bathroom?” But eventually, a few of us were guilt-tripped into agreement.

My soon-to-be language partner contacted me via email a few days later, and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop near my university. Before then, we began texting over Kakao Talk. Back then, my Korean skills were even worse than they are now. He would literally send a two-sentence message and it would take me 10 minutes to respond because I was having to look up every other word in my Korean dictionary app. (God Bless You, Naver). Luckily, we were able to converse fairly easy in English when we actually met in person.

To be honest, my first impression of him was pretty neutral. He seemed kind of nerdy but kind. I think we talked for maybe an hour, mostly about my vast knowledge of Korean media and pop culture which seemed to both surprise him and entertain him. Regardless, I was just glad we had something to talk about. Especially since in our previous email this boy had been  wanting to discuss the history of Chinese-Korean relations (what?)

Anyways, it was casual and fun even though quite awkward at times. Afterwards, we agreed to meet every Friday once I’d finished classes. And that’s when things kinda began to take off…I guess.

SURPRISE: I CAUGHT FEELINGS

Being a cancer means that I’m constantly in my feelings, and unfortunately, it doesn’t take much to trigger said feelings. I think it was around the second or third meeting that said feelings were caught. We had met at a coffee shop, per usual. But this time he offered to walk me back to my apartment which wasn’t far from where we had been talking. The sidewalks in the neighborhood were tiny and riddled with signs about parking violations and traffic rules. That being said, it was difficult for us to both stay walking next to each other and I had to keep walking around the signs that stood annoyingly in the middle of the sidewalk. For some reason, he noticed and suggested that we switch sides so that I was no longer inconvenienced. He also used his arm to shield me from oncoming traffic as we crossed the street.

Now any normal person would think that this is just a person with basic human decency and manners. My sensitive ass, on the other hand, was ready to get married right then and there…lol. From that day on, he was in my head 24/7. Friday became my favorite day of the week. I constantly looked at my phone for messages from him. Each time I heard that squeaky Kakao notification, my heart began beating wildly. In other words, I was sick y’all.  Also, each time we met, he insisted on paying for my coffee. I was so shook each time he offered, and it made me like him even more (silly…I know).

It didn’t help that our conversations had gone from lasting one hour to three-four hours at a time. His English was already pretty good (he’d studied abroad in England before) so our time together was mostly to help my Korean.  So I’d bring my Korean books, which he’d help me with for awhile before our conversations somehow got onto some more interesting topic. We would literally just sit at a coffee shop and talk about everything.

In October, I changed my profile picture on Kakao  (I had just got box braids and was feeling myself.) He sent me a message saying that  he noticed that I changed my pic and that I looked pretty. When I tell you a bitch was on the floor. Oh my god. But having never dated in my entire nineteen years of existence, I didn’t know how to respond and quickly changed the topic even though I was screaming on the inside.

SUDDEN DEPARTURE/ A PRECIOUS BITCH

By November, pretty much my entire Korean class had all stopped talking to their language partners except for me. But I knew our time together was coming to an end. Korea WEST scholars were only in the city for six months to attend a language school. In December they were all supposed to move to NY and participate in an internship related to their college major.

But a little before Thanksgiving, I suddenly received a message from him one night after we had met. It read something along the lines off:

“I have bad news. My internship has been moved up and I’m leaving for New York in like a week. We were having so much fun at the coffee shop that I didn’t have the heart to tell you then…etc.”

When I tell you I was heartbroken, y’all. Now to be clear, we had never crossed any lines. We hadn’t done anything that could really be interpreted as romantic. But we had spent a lot of time together and developed a very special friendship.  So, we agreed to meet one last time before he left.

Many things were said, but the highlights were:

“To me, our relationship is very precious.” (His words not mine.)

“In Buddhism, it talks about how people are tied together by ropes. And I feel like the rope between us is very strong.” (Shut the front door.)

“Will you come to NY to visit me?” (BIIIIIITTTTCCHHH)

He walked me back to my apartment and we hugged. After that I didn’t see him for around three months. And that’s when I fucked up.

MEETING (AGAIN) AND DUMBASS DECISIONS

Distance does what it always does and we talked infrequently. I never went to see him in NY, mostly because I was broke and could barely afford paying to my laundry, let alone a bus ticket. He had talked about wanting to come into town for the annual cherry blossom festival. He finally set a date to come down, and in the weeks leading to his arrival we began talking often again.

Honestly, back then I don’t remember much of what was said because he was talking in Korean more and I didn’t understand many of the things that were said—especially when they were ambiguous in nature. Plus, my Korean wasn’t good enough to understand the nuances of the language. So anytime he said something that I thought could be flirty I doubted my interpretation. My self image back then was terrible and I just couldn’t believe that a Korean man could be interested in a chubby, black girl like myself. I was the polar opposite of the Korean standard beauty. Plus, I had a history of one-sided crushes. And felt that this wasn’t going to be any different.

Anyways, he came back into town and we met, spending basically the entire day together. First we went to a coffee shop. Then we went to an art museum. Next we went to the cherry blossom festival. The weather was fantastic so we stopped on a bench and ate chocolate he had brought me; plus, fed some random squirrel that had taken a liking to us. Afterwards we walked for about 20-30 minutes back in the direction of my campus. We grabbed dinner at a random spot, and that’s when things began to get awkward. I’m not sure exactly why. By then, we had spent at least 6 hours together and conversation had been flowing easily. But suddenly we were each saying nothing and both began scrolling on our phones.

Afterwards, we continued walking unintentionally in the direction of my apartment which is near a movie theater. He began to hint at wanting to see a movie, but I was so overwhelmed by nerves and butterflies and awkwardness that I just pretended I didn’t hear him and began speed-walking to my apartment. And then, suddenly, I was at my front door. (GAWD)

He waved bye to me and quickly walked away.

And that was the end. Well…kind of until we met again 6 months later in Seoul.

Moral of the story is…I’m dumb. If you agree, please like, comment, and subscribe.

#korea study abroad #dating korea #language exchange #south korea

[jazzinseoul]

*3 years later*

Wow. So I suck ass at this whole blogging thing. Really wish I had kept up with this like I intended to or made the recap posts like I said I would. But life always seems to just sweep me up whether I’m in the US or Korea.

Anyways, after graduating last year and now going into my second year of teaching here in the US, I’ve decided I can’t keep away from Korea much longer and will make the big leap to apply to EPIK in February. The whole process is extremely long and tedious, so I probably wont have updates for awhile. However, hopefully this time next year I’ll be packing for my flight to ICN airport.

In the meantime, I’ve recently found my old phone from Korea which had a bunch of photos and videos on it. Will probanly upload them with a few storytimes later.

#yonsei #study abroad korea #epik

[jazzinseoul]

Korean Club Story Time #1: Got Milk?

So it’s been almost six months since I’ve left Korea, and I’m missing it terribly. I ABSOLUTELY adored spending 4.5 months in Seoul, and did not miss any opportunity to take advantage of an amazing night life. That being said, some nights were crazier than others. So I’ve decided to share a little info about some of the FOOLS i encountered while in Korea. 

This particular event happened while I was at NB1 in Hongdae. I preferred Nb1 over NB2 because NB2 was just too much for me: too many people, always was losing a friend, creeps galore, and I almost got pick-pocketed one night. While NB1 was, and has the reputation of being, much more chill. Less people but still good music and decent crowd so I enjoyed it a lot the first time I went. But after that first time, my experiences were quite different to say the least.

I arrived at NB1 with a few friends and went straight to the bar to use that oh-so-nice free drink ticket. (#Yaaaas for free drinks because we like to ball on a budget.) We got our free drinks, and I began walking backwards away from the bar and towards the dance floor, trying to get myself prepped to drop it low, maybe a little baby twerk.

Then all of a sudden I felt some arms come around me and hands, hands that went straight to my boobs. And the owner of these hands wasted no time.

He SQUEEZED each of my poor twin sisters like he was trying to get any and every ounce of milk out of  a newly bought cow. Like I understand that my chest size is bigger than the average Korean woman’s but damn. Ask a girl her name. Make eye contact.

*actual photo of me at NB1 with creepy ajusshi*

I had never jumped so fast in my life, and I couldn’t even react properly nor give this 45 year-old ajusshi the slap he so deserved. I was just so shocked.  I had literally been in the club for all of 5 MINUTES. Afterwards the creep had the nerve to just grin and keep giving me a thumbs up. Thanks but no thanks.  I quickly ran away and tried avoiding him for remaining amount of time I was in there.

As far as the rest of the night, I enjoyed dancing with my friends while keeping my chest very closely guarded.

But this incident was just one of the many that made  me realize that Korea is not nearly as conservative  a country as many other blogs like to make it out to be, and I plan on writing more about that later. But for the moment just be aware that there are pervs everywhere. So hide your kids, your wife, and your boobies.

#study abroad korea #hongdae #nb1 #clubbing in korea #nb2 #south korea #study abroad

[jazzinseoul]

Update

Really wish I had updated this blog more. But I'm back in the states now and have been for about a week. I'm thinking of doing a bunch of recap posts while everything is still fresh in my mind, but overall Korea was wonderful. I thought Id come back home wanting to move there, and while I don't feel that way I definitely will be traveling there again. Also plan to keep up with my language studies. I know a lot of people don't like Yonsei's KLI courses, but I feel like I improved a lot because of it, especially listening wise...

[jazzinseoul]

not to be rude but i wanna be special to someone

[jazzinseoul]

Went to a raccoon cafe. Was lit.

[jazzinseoul]

WTF KOREA it is OCTOBER and i have 24 fresh mosquito bites from this weekend. WHAT THE FUCK.

[jazzinseoul]

노래방 for the 1000th time. 10/03/2016 1:27 A.M.

[jazzinseoul]

Another long night/morning spent in Hongdae. Seriously need to find somewhere else to going during the weekends.

[jazzinseoul]

Update-ish

So my knee is almost completely healed. I can walk comfortably without a brace, but I still can't drop it like it's hot (really, I tried) and still some very small swelling every now and then. However, because my health is insistent on declining while I'm in this country I've got a cold now and my voice keeps going in and out which makes ordering in Korean even more difficult. Despite all of this, I somehow ended up in Hongdae until 3 AM last night. Was nowhere near as turnt as my friends but still managed to have fun. Everytime I coughed because of my cold it looked like I was dabbing. Also the streets were so crowded for it to be the Tuesday before Chuseok. Anyway, I keep wondering if the decisions I'm making are slightly questionable but at least I'll have stories to tell my kids. " Mom went clubbing in a knee splint. Mom went clubbing on a Tuesday. Mom grinded on some random Korean girl who kept calling her '소 섹시' and grabbing her head..." P.S. I need to go somewhere that's not Sinchon or Hongdae P.S.2. Smoke-filled clubs are probably not the best place for someone with an already shitty cold

[jazzinseoul]

Will this become a habit?

[jazzinseoul]

September 2/ September 3, 2016

Tell me why I was out until 7AM with a sprained knee? I kept hobbling up and down stairs like an old lady. But still was so much fun and I can now cross 2 things off of my Korea bucket list: 1) visiting the nb1 and nb2 clubs and 2) partying until the sun came up and then riding the subway home right when it opened

[jazzinseoul]

August 31, 2016

Good luck to everyone starting classes tomorrow!

#study abroad korea #Yonsei University #foreign exchange

[jazzinseoul]

August 30, 2016

Just spent an hour trying to figure out how to use McDonald’s online delivery. Why is the address so complicated?!?!?!

Anyways, it is done. These fries better be bomb af.

#study abroad korea #Yonsei University #living in korea

[jazzinseoul]

August 26, 2016

This cast/splint is making me so depressed. It has me thinking a lot about how permanently disabled people must feel. People are constantly staring at my leg and I feel like I’m dragging people around me down because they constantly have to wait on me anytime we go anywhere. Not to mention how difficult it is to just do something simple like put on a sock.

I went out last night and had a good time but was confined to a chair for most of the night. Watching everyone else dance made me want to cry almost.

I’ve been in my room almost all day and have hardly seen anyone. I’m afraid to ask people out because they might not want to deal with me and my cast.

Gosh this all really sucks.

#study abroad korea #Yonsei University #i just wanna dance

[jazzinseoul]

This happened.

8/22/2016

[jazzinseoul]

August 20/ August 21, 2016

I got home at 5:30 this morning which for me is pretty late even though clubs here are open til like 9am. The plan had been to leave Yonsei around 11 PM and take the subway to Hongdae. But somehow we didn’t end up leaving until 1:30 AM which meant we had to take a taxi (only ₩5,000!) We somehow ended up at a club called M2 which was…interesting. I’ll say this, if you like EDM and dont mind ONLY dancing to EDM then go here. If not, definitely skip this place. For me and my friends the music was kind of shitty. It was very repetitive and every song sounded the same , even after switching DJs. I honestly don’t understand how people dance to that. The highlight was in between sets when they just played regular music and I finally got to pop it to some classics. Despite not like the music we stayed for 2 hours having forked out ₩20,000. We ended up walking back to Sinchon and grabbing Krispy Kreme donuts on the way, which are much smaller here. The sun was rising when we made it home.

P.S. First club I’ve ever been to where they rain toilet paper down from the sky. Literally. Toilet paper. Iconic.

#study abroad korea #living in korea #clubbing in korea #club m2