jalgajalga

[jalgajalga]

Pov: You are loving someone, not perfect, full of unhealed scars and old mistakes. But she/he isn't a bad person, just imperfect, just a human.

Dear xxx xxxxxxx

It was love at first sight. I fell in love the moment you smiled and said your name. I fell in love when your eyes got bigger as you enjoyed the meal I made. I fell in love when you smiled and thank me "It was great chef, thankyou, I'll do the dishes". I fell in love with you three times at our first meeting. And I keep falling in love with you, at every small thing you do, since that day, everyday. Even right now, as you sleep soundly beside me. And tomorrow when you greet me "Good morning baby".

Love make us do things unrationally. Like when I waited for you under finland's winter weather outside your workplace. Pretend it was a coincidience "Oh, hey we met again". And when I pretended to enjoy teokkbokki, your favorite dishes when I really, truly, couldn't grasp its taste. And when i rolled around my bed, stayed all night, over unexplainable feeling. Love made us crazy.

Love itself is irrational, so when we start to make it reasonable we start to questioning ourself. Is this love right? Like when we fight on our way home, 11.48 pm, tired, over something I don't even remember now. When you blocked my number after I came late at our-finally-first-dinner-in-months. When you mad at me over cigarettes, and I can't understand why. When I yelled at you "Don't run away, resolve it now" and keep you from leaving the house. It was only make sense because it is love. If we don't love eachother we must've had hate eachother now.

Everytime we stumble upon obstacles in this relationship, I keep reminding myself how scared you were when we started it, how it was hard for you, how visible it was, and i clearly saw it. When you were hesitated to give me your number, when it took so long for you to let me hold your hand, when you cried said you're sorry when you rejected me the first time i confessed, when you finally told me let's date with your teary eyes. You often said i'm a really good person, that you afraid you might failed me. You doubt yourself whether you do love me right. You questioning yourself a lot. But still, this relationship started because you love me. Because you love me enough, you are willing to try. And I'm thankful for that

We are both imperfect. So it's so human of us to make mistake and hurt eachother. We're learning. So let's grow together. Don't leave. Don't give up. When things get too hard, and we start to lose a cause to fight. Let's fall in love again. It's easy, I can do it thrice a day. And let love made us crazy that irational things get rationalized

#pov #love poem #love

[jalgajalga]

JULY

July, my birthday month, though it ain't making any different. The month i travel a lot, month that I nervously waiting as I knew would experience many new things.

July 2nd

This day, i wanna do a lot of things in my bucket lists. Watching elemental, I heard it being a good romance cartoon many people could relate. I asked my friends previously if anyone were interested, but i was being impatience, i wanted to do it immediately, so i ended up waching it alone. Not a big deal for me tho. After watching the cute movie, I eat my legendary high school dish chicken katsu noodle, also alone. At this point i must be looked very sad and lonely. But I really value my time and other's too, I don't have to wait for other when i could comfortably do it mysef. Others don't have to enforce themselves do the things they actually doesn't really interested in and spent money on it.

The-me-time day hadn't end yet. After having dinner, I went to watch artjog, anual art exhibition, the biggest and most famous one. I bought bundling ticket for exhibtion and theater stage. It would be my first time watching profesional theater performance, I was really excited. There were a lot of paintings and installation, but i was in a rush as the theater was about to start.

The artists were really cool. I could see their talents, their passions, and when all the staff were being called at the end of the performance, i was really moved. It's how art were made.

july 3rd

My birthday. Nothing different. There's no birthday present, just a little dimsum-as-a-cake surprised from my workmates. Thankyou, I really appreciated it.

July 6th, 7th I'm lucky my hometown is such a cultural city. It has a lot of culture related events. Like today, i was casualy scrolling my instagram and found an event, an opening of Kotabaru Heritage Festival, there would be a dance and orchestra performance and later, walking tour and photography exhibition. All was free, of course I won't miss it. That part of the city is realy familiar to me, my junior and senior high school located there. It's fun to know more abot its history.

July 8th First out of town trip. The closest one, 2 hours distance. It's only me and my long time close friend. First, we wanted to go by train, but then she offered to drive. That's a better idea, better moblity and these day the trains were so packed.

We don't really had a plan. We had the list but we went anywhereour moods lead. First stop, to fill our stomach we visit cute small coffeshop. The coffee was good, my friend said. I am not a coffee person, i ordered matchalatte and it was decent. The croissant was tasty also, I'm not a fan of croissant but I really like that coffeshop has.

Then we walked for little bit to Pura Mangkunegaran Palace. That palace is still functioning as residential house. My imagination flew away imagining how it was living as a nobleman, having the freaking huge house. The tour must be conducted wit a guide, and the guide war realy helpfull and informative. But they missed informing the history how this palace or kingdom (?) was form, and what's the difference between it and the other palace that Surakarta has. We looked up for that information while having dessert at the oldest ice cream shop in town. It's very famous, full of people. I wonder were they all tourist or there were some locals. Its nostalgic taste but not really special.

After the coffee, light meal, and dessert, we then heading to another famed food stall. We oredered take away so we won't coming back home empty handed. We had our late lunch almost dinner at small cute ocal steak. everything here is cute and small. The place were decorated with a lot of vintage items, a little bit random, here and there, but still cute. The food were great too. Not a fancy kind a steak, i think it was fried. But really tasty.

July 10th Asian Badminton Junior Championship. If there's a Badminton event held in town, of corse i should watch it. Young athletes working hard for dream, how can my heart not moved

July 16th After a long time, i join the weekend jogja walking tour again. I registered myself a lot, but then in the morning, i was overslept. Since my sister was home, I finally came to the tour. It's a tour of chinatown area of the city. Not much left but the story and history stayed to be told. We wanted to try the old bakery there but it hadn't open yet even after the tour ended, we had lunch and came back.

July 19th

Because of Greta Gerwig, i'm being #teambarbie haha. Second cinema this month. This time I have friend acompany me. As expected of Greta, it doesn't have to be explained. I really like it, the jokes hit me right. A lot of underlying meaning, a ittle bit too much i would say.

July 25th-28th

The very exhausting and worrying, make me nervous trip finally came. It's 4 days business trip to Bali, with car. I get dizzy easily so i'm afraid i would get motion sicknesss. Thanks god it didn't happen. actually I don't really remember how it went wkwkwkk. All I remember was I really tired and that I promise myself I woud comeback to bali and had enjoyable trip, my kinda style trip.

July 30th

This the highlight of the month. RADWIMPS CONCERT!!. I had been manifesting for about four years. Still tired from the Bali trip, i wasn't really excited at first. And also I came alone, so i'm a bit worry. I traveled solo quite often,but never to attend a concert. I literally just arrived, entering concert, jumping and singing and walking back to the inn quickly. Watching concert alone not bad, but being with friends is more fun. Inside the hall it was like magic. Wow i was reallyyyy happy.

July end. What a month. Somehow it felt restless. and I'm writting this post in a university library where i should doing my thesis. My biggest homework in life for now. Soon my post will full of library picture, me working hard on this reasearch. And by the end of the year, post about thesis defense presentation. Aameen :"))

#july 2023 #daily life

[jalgajalga]

JUNE

I intend to write post monthly, but now i'm two month behind hmmmmmmm. Even if it's late. Still i'm gonna post my June-life. As I write them down, turn out there are so many exciting event happened in month of June

June 1st-2nd June started with long-five-days-weekend. And i proudly say that I spent it by moving my body a lot. For the first time in maybe five years, i picked my badminton racket again and hit the court.

As I expected my whole body was screaming loudly the next day. But I promised my other friend that i would accompany her swimming and no way i could back off. Aaaaah and one of the reason to still go was because we planed to eat Mie goreng in a lunch box after swimming, like a child used to be. Shout out to the core memories !!! It was a happy week!!!

June 5 My friend said there was a food bazaar in a mall on her way back from work. Asian bazzar food? some kind of that. We went there but nothing catched our interest. So we went for the safest choice, what's said to be the best ramen in town. My friend paid for our food, we usually split our bills. I assumed because she's the one who asked us for a meet up. But turned out it was her birthday soon. Hahaha I'm bad at remembering dates. Sorry

June 14 This month's art exhibition was Memanen Angin by by Lully tutus. It gave feeling of children's book ilustration. Remind me of magazine i subscribed when i was a child.

June 18 There is a curated market selling local artisan food and craft near my house. I would go there every week if i weren't a lazy person. But i am, so i only stop by when i actually need to leave my house. This week, i take my lil bro to buy new phone, therefore I look in to find a lunch. My choice is nasi berkat wrapped in teak leaf from jiwa jawi resto. I already knew the taste, my expectation was fulfilled, it was as good as i thought.

++ Food discovery of June ++

Ice cream Haku Tokyo Cheese Delight

It smells so cheesy, but the only cheese taste is from the cone. I forgot what flavour the ice cream was.

And for the very first time i tried Mi gacoan but ate it dine in. It's true what people say about it. It tastes waaaay better

June 25 This June I had a chance to join europe on screen, european movie screening, then meeting up with firends. We chatted from afternoon till the cafe bout to close. Because we waited for one friend who just started her semester as a medical school specialist student. It's a nice catch up.

I watched a lot of movies this month. I obssesed with japanese movie adapted from books. Warm story kind of movie. I will talk about them in separated post. Also a movie that left deep impression for me, i watched at screening events.

June 29

June end with another holiday and another meet up with friends. Friends who work outside the town were coming home. It's almost full squad. That day also was one of my friend's birthday. We rarely celebrate it with cake and surprises. But we asked for birthday treat from the cafe, we got mini pastry so we had blow candle ceremonial.

Over all June was actually pretty fun. Nothing special in fact, it was just my ordinary days. But when I read this post again, I can feel the excitement and happiness I felt at that moment. Thankyou June

#june #daily life

[jalgajalga]

So

So, because life feels so boring these days, i decided to do blogging again. Maybe, it's not actually boring. May be i just passed through it in hurry and didn't really remember how I felt. When night comes, already stressing about tomorrow, again i have no time to let myself think and feel. So maybe if I write it down, if put my days in a words, things will get clearer and less chaos.