First off: this thing now has a tumblr blog associated with it.
Secondly: I hope you all love this character as much as I love writing her.
Chapter 6: Caleste
Caleston, Irozia
Caleste scowled and ran her fingers through her graying hair as she looked down at the papers on her desk. The previous fall had been hard, downright devastating on her countship. Early in the season, storms had ravaged the hills and turned farmer’s fields into a muddy mess. After a week of respite, the weather took another brutal turn and temperatures plummeted as winter arrived much earlier than anticipated. Any crops that hadn’t drowned froze before they could be harvested. There was barely enough grain in storage to keep the towns under her rule from starving.
The winter seemed like it would never end; all Caleste could do was send urgent missives to Iron Bay and watch as even her own wife and sons looked more and more gaunt. She hated asking Venera for help, hated to grovel before the queen, and hated the fact that the Venera had almost immediately began sending aid. Not only that, the queen herself had visited to see the disaster for herself.
Venera was as graceful and courteous as ever but Caleste couldn’t help but think that deep down she was laughing at her failures. And now, as Caleste looked down at yet more missives from desperate lords looking to feed their starving towns, she realized she was going to have to go to Venera again.
If she were more religious she’d think that Newas, the god of weather herself, was taunting her. She growled and fought the urge to sweep the papers from her desk. Instead she took a deep breath and calmly stacked them in a neat pile. The lords and their damn missives could wait for an hour as she cleared her head.
She stood up from the desk and walked to the window. Spring had finally arrived to her corner of the queendom and it came in the form of gentle sunshine and warm breezes. She hoped the weather would hold, and give the ground a chance to dry out. The good weather would give the farmers a chance to plow and sow their fields, and would allow a chance for the passes to free up.
She stepped out of her study and the guards at the doorway stood at attention as she passed. Once she was ahead of them, they followed her as her escort. Caleste was a formidable woman; muscular and tall, she loomed over most of her opponents. Her hair may be greying and she felt the odd twinge in her back from an old injury but any assassin who thought they could face her would have a terrible day indeed.
She liked the guard detail though. It made her feel important, regal, as if she were a queen rather than a count. Perhaps one day she could be queen. Perhaps one day she could step out from under Venera’s impressive shadow and lead her armies in glorious conquest. Venera may be interested in playing nice with her southern neighbors, but Caleste only saw opportunity for expansion.
Unfortunately Venera also had the larger and better fed army and she certainly brought it to bear the last time Caleste decided to get uppity. Her wife and advisers cautioned Caleste to be patient after that particular incident, and to let the queen calm down and perhaps eventually be swayed to see things Caleste’s way. Caleste knew Venera however and Venera’s stubborn desire for peace rivaled Caleste’s own stubborn desire for glory. The two women would never truly see eye-to-eye on these matters and it would take years for Venera to even budge the slightest on the idea of a southern campaign.
Caleste wasn’t nearly that patient.
No, she had to wait until Venera’s position was weakened and her own armies were strong enough to finally break free from Irozia. If she couldn’t become Caleste the Champion of the Iron Rose, and if she couldn’t be the Hero of Irozia, then she’d become Caleste the Conqueror … Or perhaps Caleste the Courageous? Yes, that sounded much more flattering and heroic.
She mused on this as she walked down the corridors of her castle, and noted the damage to the plaster a tremor had caused the previous night. She stepped out into the inner ward where her knights were gathered to train in the warm afternoon. She counted fifteen in all standing by the barracks and preparing for their afternoon drills.
Wait a minute.
She counted again. Fifteen.
Her eyes zeroed in on the extra man, tall like her with a mop of straw blonde hair and blue eyes. He was leaning on a wooden training poleax, flirting with one of the knights who rolled her eyes playfully at him. Caleste could tell that she wasn’t interested but was humoring her son. Caleste sharply changed course and marched up to her son, “Idan.”
“Mother,” he straightened up and looking the slightest bit sheepish, “It is a nice day isn’t it?”
“Yes it is,” Caleste said, “And I see you’re enjoying it instead of sitting in on your lessons.”
He frowned, “Master Pahar allowed me to take the rest of the afternoon off. I thought it would be in my best interest to train with our knights - a good leader must know to fight after all.”
“Indeed he must,” Caleste said, “Perhaps then you can show me what you’ve learned?”
She turned to the knight Idan had been flirting with, “Dame Theran, why don’t you grab me a training halberd?”
“Would you like me to grab some armor for you as well m’lord?”
“I’ll be fine in my gambeson, we’re not trying to kill each other — I’m just interested in my son’s progress.”
Theran gave a curt nod and walked towards the wall where various training weaponry had been brought out for the day’s training. Idan chuckled nervously, “Mother you needn’t concern yourself with my progress…”
“Nonsense, I want to make sure you’re learning properly,” Caleste said, “Though I trust my best knights to be teaching you well.”
At that she cast her gaze at the 13 other knights gathered there who suddenly looked very uneasy. One of them, a portly man with long hair in a ponytail and an impressive mustache cleared his throat, “Yes m’lord, Idan’s been very … persistent in his studies.”
“Persistent,” Caleste mused as Theran ran back with the halberd, “Are you sure that’s how you’d describe it Commander Emmon?”
She didn’t allow him time to answer, taking the halberd from Theran without even a glance at her, “Well come on then,” she said to her son, “We won’t go too hard. I just want to see what you’ve learned so far.”
Idan swallowed visibly and slipped into a stance that Caleste wouldn’t describe as steady but she supposed had seen worse. He was tense, holding his poleax with way too tight of a grip and keeping his hands too close together. His stance was unsteady, he didn’t seem to have any concept of how close or rather how far away his feet were supposed to be.
He certainly had been persistent in training with her knights but she doubted he had learned much from them. Either that or her knights were not the well trained warriors she had expected them to be. She reminded herself to do an inspection of them once this was over.
She held her own halberd, keeping in a relaxed stance, the tip of her halberd pointed towards the ground — an enticing invitation her son to attack. He seemed very hesitant to do so. She didn’t blame him. He may be nearing her height but he didn’t have nearly the combat experience to have the confidence to stand up to her. She did give him points for trying to appear more ready than he was.
Uncharacteristically for her: Caleste waited for her son to make the first move. She wanted to at least give him a fair shot. Then again, if he was going to keep his guard up and not make a move then she’d have to act or they’d be there until sunset.
He finally moved in with a thrust and Caleste had to commend him on committing to the attack and being relatively aggressive about it. Of course he completely overextended himself and left himself wide open for Caleste’s counter. She simply twisted her halberd around the haft of his poleax, controlling the point and forcing it down and to the side. Before he could move to counter her riposte, she had moved her halberd up and jabbed the blunt tip square into his chest.
“I admire the aggression but you overcommitted,” she said as she lowered the halberd, “You were off balance and you couldn’t react to my counter in time.”
She turned to the commander, “I’ve heard my son’s been skipping his lessons to train under your excellent tutelage. He either hasn’t retained much or you are not the knights I thought you were.”
“We are certainly capable,” the commander said, “Lord Idan’s more interested in the concept of battle than the actual practice.”
Idan looked sharply at the commander who crossed his arms and stared right back. Caleste felt a headache coming on and she turned to one of the guards flanking her, “Escort Idan to my study, I’ll talk to him after I’ve had a chance to see how capable my knights are.”
Idan went with the guard without a word of dissent, he at least kept his head up as he followed the guard out of the ward. Caleste then turned to her knights, “You’ve proven to be terrible teachers. How are you as warriors?”
—
Caleste observed her knights for hours as they trained, joining in from time to time. After a winter cooped up in the castle, it felt good to be fighting again — even if it was just for practice. Her knights weren’t as bad as she thought; they were fit and fast on their feet. She’d have to assess how they fared on horseback at some point but she wasn’t considering firing them at least.
The commander walked with her as they went to put away their equipment, “Lord Idan’s been … a bit of a distraction. He doesn’t quite wish to learn the basics — he’s always interested in the more advanced movements. It’s hard to convince him to learn patience in his lessons when all he wants to do is impress.”
“Impress whom?”
“Everyone. Though he does seem to have an eye for Dame Theran,” the commander said.
“Yes I did notice that,” Caleste said, “Though she hasn’t seemed to return that affection.”
The commander put his training sword and shield down in the shed that stored their training equipment, “Dame Theran is interested in a lot of things … men are not one of them.”
“Ah.”
—
The sun set all too soon, Caleste had spent the rest of her afternoon having a rather unproductive discussion with her son on his responsibilities. The boy simply did not want to learn to rule, despite him being in line once Caleste was gone. She had considered her youngest, Graden, as a possibility to take her place once she was gone. That son at least seemed to have the mental aptitude and, well, interest in learning to rule. He was too soft, however, too timid. Too afraid.
No. Idan must learn to accept his role, whether he liked it or not. It was his duty and he had to start learning to accept it.
“What is bothering you my wife?” Edrahn asked as Caleste sat on their bed. She came up behind her wife and begun to gently massage her tense shoulders.
Caleste felt her skin begin to warm pleasantly under the ministrations and she groaned at the feeling. Her shoulders finally began to relax and she closed her eyes as her headache ebbed, “It’s the same thing that’s been bothering me for the past season Edrahn.”
Edrahn hummed in understanding and let her wife continue.
“The weather’s finally turned. The queen’s aid arrived. We’ve finally gotten the pass free. Yet my people are still starving,” Caleste sighed, “What did I do to deserve this?”
“You did nothing my dear,” Edrahn said seriously, “You know this. The winds aren’t controlled by the wrath of gods or the whims of the fates. They’re winds and they blow in whichever way they’d like.”
“I have about a hundred priests and clerics who’d beg to differ.”
“And they’d be wrong.”
“And yet I still have to listen to their concerns,” Caleste said, “They are still under my rule, they are still citizens of my towns and cities, and they still need to have their voices heard. It’s what a good leader would do.”
A knock at the door caused Caleste to look up, “Who is it?”
“It’s me, mother,” Graden’s quiet voice came muffled through the wooden door.
“Come in,” Caleste said. Edrahn let go of her wife and Caleste was sad to lose the warmth and comfort she had given her.
Graden stepped into the bedroom, hesitant, “There’s a messenger who wishes to hold an audience with you.”
“At this hour?” Caleste asked as she rose from her bed, “They can wait for morning.”
Graden swallowed and steeled himself, “This can’t wait, mother. It appears to be an extremely urgent matter.”
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Is it cool if I can be a tad dramatic for a sec?
Aight, you want some goddamn inspiration? After a very long day in airport purgatory I'm finally back home and realized I had access to my old art.
Here's my OC from high school back in 2012 when I was really into the DC superheroes and Young Justice:
Her name was Andrea Reyes, she was basically Batman on a college student's budget. She looked like shit but damn did I draw her a bunch and almost almost made a webcomic before I realized how absolutely painful that was to do.
This was a sketch I did of Yosemite - dunno when this was done. Probably around the same time tho.
12 goddamn years I've been drawing, not 12 years straight - I had a long lull in there when I just had trouble functioning at all and didn't do any art as a consequence.
I started back up in earnest in 2020. This was one of my first drawings. Was based on a Mount and Blade character someone on YouTube made.
I can think of about 50 ways to improve that but that's not what we're doing rn.
4 years later, after struggling and I mean STRUGGLING with my mental health, how I view myself as an artist, whether to call myself an artist ... Whether to keep creating. I almost stopped many many many times.
So I'm on my laptop rn so a lot of these are gonna be screenshots of WIPs because that's what OneDrive pulled over so:
Those are all from 2023.
So ... like ... don't quit. Okay?
Don't quit.
Yes you're going to feel shitty about your art. It's okay to feel that way (when it evolves into self hatred though, that's when you need to take a step back and also maybe get some professional help for your mental health). Legit, dissatisfaction with your work is a thing most creatives are going to experience because we have that drive, that determination, that knowledge that "yeah I'm good but I can be better". You'll plateau, you'll feel like everything that's coming out is complete garbage ... but you'll keep going because not creating hurts worse than creating stuff you think is absolute shit.
And one fine day, you're going to experiment with something, and it's going to click with you. Suddenly, you're going to start improving. Then yeah, you might plateau again until you find something else to try and incorporate into your piece.
Art isn't about banging out masterpiece after masterpiece. It's not constant perfection.
It's about growth. It's about progress.
That's what makes it so infuriating yet satisfying to me. It's knowing I can do better and practicing and practicing and practicing ... then one day something clicks. One day I realize how I can make it better and then I do that.
Don't quit.💪
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