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You're wrong for being a hyphen fan

spider-man spider-man spider-man

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Spiderman I'm in heat

#I had started to convince myself ‘it’s slobberin time’ was a weird dream thing I made up #tf happened to those two

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happy 4.20 to peter parker’s three weedsmoking girlfriends

#weedsmorking girlfriends #this is beautiful op

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id like to finally put the debate to rest and say officially, ONCE AND FOR ALL, there is no hyphen in spiderman. its one word, guys. one word

#if you say so spider-man #(I enjoy the fourth wall breaking of him hearing people not saying the hyphen and the jokes in early comics too much. #pry this from my cold dead spider-hands)

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amazing spider-man #258

#he looks so pathetic and punchable in that second panel. I won’t him

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Humberto Ramos and Davi Pinheiro

#I love when he sits like a creature

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Spider guy (night version)

#[spectacular spider-man theme starts playing] #god these are insanely good

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“WHAA? 🤯 You crazy? 🫵😵‍💫 I…🧍‍♂️uhhh…😰 have a special deal ✨🤝 with Spider-Man 🕷️😉 he uh 😬 tells me 👂❗️when he’s going into action 💥🕸️ I take pictures 📸😅 and we split the cash 💵💁🏻‍♂️”

I’M STUNNED. LITERALLY THE DUMBEST HE’S EVER SOUNDED. PETER THE PUNISHER IS GONNA FUCK YOU UP AND HE’S NOT EVEN RIGHT

#I looked insane laughing at this as hard as I was in the dark of the kitchen in front of my grandma #spiderman #peter parker

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-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

#if this ended at the very part where he starts flattening titanium it would still be fucking hilarious #and ur right post-omd Peter isn’t even the same guy

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there were 700 issues of The Amazing Spider-Man and the first time peter parker tried to throw his costume away and give up heroing forever was issue 18

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Spider-Man Unlimited #19 Writer: Mark Bernardo, Pencils: Joe Bennett

#I love MJ asking if he can stick to walls with pruny fingers. I’d like to know too. cmon Peter ur a scientist aren’t you #mary jane watson #peter parker #MJ could take Hydro-Man.

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i knew about may and ottos relationship before i started reading but it’s genuinely so so funny. i’m shocked there haven’t been more adaptations of it considering how consistent their romance is. show me the spiderman cartoon where there’s an arc where doc ock is peters supervillain stepuncle. show me otto trying to help him with his homework while peter is seething with barely suppressed rage but he’s not in his suit and may forced him to promise to be nice to her lover

#FOR REAL ITS SO FUNNY. I LOVE THEM

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its endlessly amusing to me how every few issues people talk to mj and theyre like "mj something really serious happened" and mjs reaction is always "ohh that sucks. Well anyway..."

#she does NOT care LMAOOO #mj

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i lost my shit about the mary jane watson tag you made. i realize in hindsight you meant her 80’s hair but i thought you were making a deep cut about that one time she had short curly hair for like 2 issues in the 60’s that were “mary jane gets a new look” and “mary jane changes it the fuck back” respectively. im too shy to tell you this in a normal way because its an unhinged thing to go on about to a stranger, something that was specifically funny only to me, but i had to say it

LMAOOO ur good ur good I love the unhinged diatribes of fellow insane comic fans. I DID mean her 80s hair but ngl the 60s hair is so much more specific, like you know ur stuff LOL I forgot that existed

#anons #Mary Jane enjoying her red hair #ngl has much as her hair was very ‘60s perm’ for that short hair stint it did make me feel things #she’s cute no matter what LOL

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the worst thing that could happen to a comic book lady with massive curly hair is being given 1 appearance with straight hair because suddenly thats their most popular canon hair style

#MARY JANE FUCKING WATSON

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Gwen Stacy was 100 gazillion percent not dead before Peter’s web reached her??? What killed her while she fell? THE AIR????

and here begins one of the more hotly debated topics in spider-man comics canon - what killed gwen stacy?

(i could make a video essay about this)

goblin says that the shock of the fall alone is enough to kill her

and honestly, i don't think that sounds fake. like i mean, i've never been thrown off a bridge before but like, the shock of that could probably kill me. i don't think that's fake at all. i'd have a fucking heart attack mid-air. yeah.

but there is the pointed. snap.

so, really, regardless of whether gwen was already dead or not, the snap is a reality. if she was alive or dead, it doesn't matter, so if the shock of the fall didn't kill her, the snap would've.

i kind of don't know why norman would say she was dead before the webbing reached her. it seems more in norman's diabolical brand to double down and tell peter that his webbing IS what killed gwen. but i think maybe this is another case of the writers and artists not being on the same page - same as how it's described as the george washington bridge

but the artists didn't get the memo. that bitch is not the george washington bridge.

that bitch is the brooklyn bridge!!

headcanon that i guess in 616 the brooklyn bridge is called the george washington bridge. sure. why not.

i figure the gwen "snap!" thing is another instance of the writers and artists just being on distinctly different pages. there's this very funny workflow in comics where they kind of give the artist a rough outline of the plot and the final dialogue isn't actually written until the comic is pencilled so there's always, always miscommunications between the writers and artists. where the artist draws the brooklyn bridge but the writer thinks it would be fun if actually it was the george washington bridge after the fact because get it. norman loves money. but in the synopsis it didn't actually matter what bridge it was so the artist just drew whatever the fuck bridge!!

so. i think it's the same with the snap. in the synopsis it probably says "gwen dies in the fall" - artist interprets it as whiplash, and draws it so. writer has the idea that actually, it's the shock that kills her. synopsis says "dies in the fall" and it doesn't actually matter how. point is she dies! however the fuck!

i'm honestly so obsessed with the running gag in spider-man comics where you know the writers and artists are on different pages. in two separate rooms doing two separate things. rereading the comics is so funny when you know that weird workflow and you see a scene where the art is saying one thing and the words are saying another. almost like a 4kids dub.

that's why you get such great moments such as the panel that has caused the most outrage in my activity feed. the brown/blue pants debate.

HIS PANTS ARE BLUE!!

#I find it interesting that the writing and art merges not a couples scenes later for Gwen’s death #when the police arrive and ask what happened and Peter says it was Spider-Man who killed her. like the writing wanted both to be true? #also I’m always ALWAYS obsessed with the ‘Peter’s Style’ panel LMAO I think it should be mandatory that all creators look at this. #he needs to be always drab always behind the times always goofy and nerdy #also you know what. Peter probably had some not insignificant arm strength just from all the books he carries (speaking from experience.) #also rip his shoulders. they probably have felt like rocks since he was in 1st grade