aiden .
Blue eyes widen, a grin spreading across features as he is tugged towards the door, free hand patting his jacket pocket to make sure that wallet was still in place. Everything seemed to be in order, and finally laughter slipped from his lips once more. Amusement rushing through him, tone warm as he silently shakes his head with fondness. “Alright man! Alright!” words come tumbling out between laughter as hand grasps door handle and pulls open, squinting at the light that assaulted him momentarily.
Glancing at Alex, eyebrow raised slightly unsure if they should walk with Alexs impairment or if they should take his car. The choices bounced within his mind for a moment before he questioned it himself, “Should we walk or take my truck?” Aiden questions with gaze going from the truck back to the teen, “I’m fine with either, whatever you’re most comfortable with doing kid.”
the teen seems to ponder this question at great length , as if it has some greater universal significance than aiden realizes . does it ? no . . . maybe . wait , no . ❝ uhhh , whichever’s faster , ❞ alex decides ( the truck , obviously . ) he’s hungry --------------- he’ll do anything if it means ripping into some chips a bit sooner . it only takes him a second to get impatient , as if he expects them to just appear at . . . wherever they’re going . he was too busy deciding between the truck or walking to remember what it is they’re doing . he’s just thinking about chips . chips . . . chips . ❝ c’mooooon ! ❞
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wdym i went missing for two weeks ? like this post to plot :/
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look ! an orifice . . . johnny the homicidal maniac . by milo .
HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FUCKED WITH STEEL ?
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jeff .
car alarms go off in his head, and jeff hasn’t even thought about what he wants to say (hasn’t completely unloaded alex’s offer just yet) before he’s scrambling, telling him, ` no, no. you don’t have to. `
it makes his heart fucking shatter, the entire situation. brother’s apology echoes horribly in his skull, and it takes all his strength not to let his breath hitch, to let his throat tighten. he thought he needed loneliness, to isolate himself from the rest of the world and to shut everything out without a second thought—it’s a habit that has only grown worse with time, going from quiet hours alone in the confines of his bedroom to what could only be days—but there is nothing to take from this. this disquiet, this knife that cuts through sinew and bone and twists inside his chest at the fact that alex doesn’t even look at him. can’t, jeff corrects himself, and no, there is no justice in solitude, not when it strains what little you have left.
you did this. you did this. why? for what? who have you been helping?
there is a guilt that forever lingers in the back of his mind, digging its talons into him, sinking its teeth into his flesh, refusing to let go. even when jeff has stopped thinking, when he isn’t sure of who he is and the life he has led up until this point is nothing more than an old family video on vhs playing repeatedly in the back of his mind, it’s there, so quiet and gentle, whispering things that make him ache, right down to his very bones. and yet, things haven’t changed—they never change, because he gave up trying so long ago that any effort seems too much. it’s selfish, and it’s awful, and jeff knows that he’s no better than the things out there for letting this happen. to them, to alex.
he wants to run. he doesn’t want this, any of this. he wants to be braver, for his brother, his family, his life, but something is in the way; it clogs his throat and makes his stomach drop, and he is atlas, carrying a burden no one asked him to, pathetic and weak. he wants to be good for alex. to just…be. for him. but jeff isn’t there yet, doesn’t know what he’s doing, hasn’t for a long time. he doesn’t even know how to try anymore.
out of fear that alex won’t pick up on the fact that jeff wants him there, he adds, as softly and as sincerely as he can, ` it’s fine. really. ` stay. i’m sorry.
not one word is spoken as alex settles back down , falling back against the couch with shoulders sagging & head at a sharp downwards angle . he looks like he’s given up --------------- & hasn’t he ? perhaps he’s still breathing , but he hardly even bothers to eat anymore . it’s quite possible that he’s stopped thinking somewhere along the way , too , just to make the burden of life easier to bear . doubtless , there can only be one crazy brother . maybe it isn’t jeff , after all . ❝ okay , ❞ he utters , whispering still , afraid of being too noisy . there’s not much more to say than that , is there ? nothing anyone wants to hear . there’s no telling what’s going on in alex’s head anymore ; perhaps he hasn’t shut down quite yet , but he’s definitely on autopilot more often than he isn’t . ( what about right now ? i don’t know , al . it’s getting late . )
he doesn’t like to complicate things , would never do it on purpose , but the teen can’t shake the feeling that he still does . what has he ever been , other than a burden ? if he had the question & the guts , he’d look someone dead in the eyes & tell them how he takes more than he gives , how he drags people down with him , how he could never learn to stop so he chooses , instead , to invest in doing nothing at all . a recent development , in relative terms , but everyone seems to have adjusted quickly . they don’t ask what happened to the old alex : they just accept the new one . it’s easier that way ; but , then , why can’t he go through a single day without that voice telling him he’s still making everything worse ? jeff has enough problems already , real or imagined . he doesn’t need a kid like alex to fuck things up all the more , but he’s stuck with one . maybe alex should leave , for once . he wouldn’t bother coming back , not at his brother’s expense . not ever .
life isn’t fair . plenty of people learn the lesson earlier than he had , & alex can’t say who’s luckier . ignorance is bliss , that’s fair to say , but losing it afterwards hurts all the more . he doesn’t talk about it , though . maybe he wasted all of his words on dumb shit , way before all of this . maybe he’s quiet because there’s nothing left & maybe this house is full of silence because he’s failed it . ❝ what’re you doing down here ? ❞ there , he finally asked . not trying to shade his own flesh & blood , no longer willing to call jeff out on whatever he may do wrong --------------- alex really does just want to know , if only because that means he’ll hear something , be talked to . he doesn’t ask for much .
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aiden .
body shaking, gaze unfocused as he tried to keep the soft sobs of relief quiet, unsure who or what was listening in on him. how long had it been since that night he came home to find alex missing, how long since he heard his voice…and how long had it been since he was grabbed? time wasn’t adding up but aiden didn’t focus on that, he struggled to listen to alex’s voice, comprehend what he was saying…where was he? blurry vision went from the crimson soaked grass to scan where he was, sniffing and trying to keep his crying from over taking him once more.
“i…i don’t, fuck, i don’t know…” he replies, voice thick as panic started come forth once more, paranoia seeping within his skin, anyone could be out there, anyone could be watching him…anything. would the people in masks be back? would they come drag him away again somewhere? “a clearing…woods, blood…grass, tall grass…” mumbling did no help on location, mind whispering that he needed to get up and find some land marker, something to get him out of there. head snapped around at the sound of rustling, eyes wide as whispered chorus of “no..no..no..no..” filled the air, and in turn his side of conversation as eyes screwed shut again.
he wasn’t making it out of this was he? this was it…he couldn’t do it anymore, something was wrong with him, those people knew that, that faceless thing knew it…they kept taking him and aiden was at his breaking point. “i-i can’t keep doing this…i can’t…fuck…” he added as attention went to the trees, praying, hoping that it was just some animal. what he saw caused breathing to grow heavy once more, eyes staring straight at the faceless thing before it vanished…hallucination or not, it caused another round of panicked mumbling and tears. “alex..alex please fuck, it’s here…it’s close..” sobbing words came.
there’s so much alex wants to say . he wants to apologize , before anything . then , he wants to say something kind , something good , something aiden will want to hear to distract him from all of this . lastly , but perhaps above all else , alex wants to get aiden to tell him where he is --------------- not that he knows any better than the teenager does . his heart is pounding in his chest , & there’s no color in his face as he jogs to the truck , fueled by adrenaline alone . his throat aches , won’t let all the words out . ❝ i’m gonna find you , ❞ he repeats himself instead , voice so strained , it sounds empty . he can’t even think , so he just pulls out of the driveway for the first time in a week & drives .
he can’t lose aiden , he’d do anything to help him --------------- if it came down to one of them or the other , alex wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself . not even that is an option , & he’s low on hope . alex is speeding to the nearest park on a hunch , but it’s been a week --------------- aiden could be anywhere by now . is he going to lose his second brother ? please , anything but that . anything . suddenly seeming to remember he’s still on the phone , the teen breaks the silence & forces himself to finish it off . ❝ don’t say that . listen . is it cold where you are ? ❞ it’s cold here . if it isn’t where aiden is , then alex thinks he may as well die right here . nothing fucking matters .
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evan .
inhuman noises causes hair to rise, mouth falling dry, lump in his throat feeling like it’s choking him out. shaking, eyes widen at sing song tone. guilt came back full force as evan leaned backwards, falling onto his ass as he struggled not to scream out in anger and anguish at what he had done..what habit made him do. hands went to his hair, pulling at brown locks and he wanted to scream, wanted to cry to whatever fucking entity out there that this wasn’t fair. alex was a fucking kid, someone who didn’t deserve this at all…didn’t deserve to broken down into this…shit, shit ,shit. what could he do now? what..fucking. thoughts raced back and forth, tears still streaming down, voice cracking,
“i don’t know…i don’t know, i’m sorry.” how many times can he say that, how many times can he mention the same thing hoping it would change what was happening now. wiping his hand beneath his nose, sniffing like some baby, evan scrambled to his knees once more. alex still injured, hands gently grasping the other, careful of wounds as he silently lifted the teen, “d-don’t worry alex, i got…i got you…” carefully he ignored staring at the blood on the ground, eyes aimed for the door as he rushed towards it, needing to leave this room…for his and alex’s sake. “i got you…”
a pathetic squeak as he’s hefted off of the floor , instinctively getting closer to evan because he’s so afraid he’ll be forcefully thrown back down in a moment . ❝ d --- don’t drop me , ❞ teen pleads , body shaking relentlessly . alex has a good half a foot on evan , at least , but he’s nothing but skin & bones & he’s sure half of whatever made up his weight before , it’s getting left behind as they seek another room to stay in .
everywhere evan touches explodes with pain , purely because there’s not one part of him that isn’t either cut open or bruised beyond recognition . they move , & alex can’t help but cry . he wants it to stop . he’ll do anything , but he’s starting to get the feeling he won’t have to . al nearly sounds shocked as he confesses aloud , to himself & evan , ❝ i think --------------- i th --- think i’m gonna die . ❞
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y'all do such meaningful studies of ur muses but this is pretty much the best it gets from me
do u think al would start vaping just to learn vape tricks? cuz i think… he would
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do u think al would start vaping just to learn vape tricks? cuz i think... he would
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evan .
hand rips from the teens body as if it had burned him, the cry echoing within ears as tears finally slipped, streaming down blood stained face he caused this, oh god he caused this…stomach twisted, pain like a stab wound within his side. what could he do if this was the reaction he was receiving from touching alex? simply resting a hand on his arm causing this bad of a reaction. shaky, eyes widened, blue eyes glimmering with unshed tears at the choking sound, hands swiftly flying to the teen, moving him as gently as he could so he didn’t choke.
“i know..fuck, i know alex…don’t worry i’m going to help, bandage you up and..and–” he trails off, silently seeing the blood come pooling out more, and evan swiftly jumped into action. hands scrambled to find cuts ( it wasn’t hard…) and once eyes laid on the ones that seemed to be pumping blood with no sign of stopping, hands swiftly applied pressure, eyes scanning room in search of cloth or something to staunch blood flow. panic still eating away, eyes landed on blanket just within reach and grabbed it, ripping it before applying the strips to make some handmade bandage until he could drag alex to a bathroom or something…or until he could find a damn first aid.
“it’ll be okay…i promise okay?”
sounds he makes as evan presses against his injuries are almost inhuman , low & long & objectively hair --- raising . as far as alex knows , the elder could be trying to reach inside & check out what there is to feel . pained sobs only quiet once shredded blanket is wrapped around the worst of his wounds , teen wild --- eyed as he strains himself to watch & figure out what’s being done to him now . there’s something different about this , something more gentle , but alex isn’t really all up there --------------- no way he’d contribute the change in behavior to a change in control , change in being . that doesn’t make any fucking sense .
sniffling uncontrollably , trying to get his tears to stop streaming down his face , the teen absently whispers , ❝ okay . ❞ not because he believes those promises , but because he wants to . fuck , he needs to . they’re the only thing he has to cling on . yet another shaky breath , licking dry lips with drier tongue , mouth fills with the sickening taste of his own blood once again . it makes him cringe . ❝ why ? ❞ he asks , to habit & to evan & to no one , all at once . why did this happen ? why this unforeseen change ? why isn’t he dead ? ❝ why , why . . . ❞ sing --- song , like a madman .
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evan .
begging reached ears, body freezing from its rush towards the teen, eyes widening with tears blurring his vision as bile rose once more. that wasn’t the familiar voice of the kid that evan knew, the quiet kid who always seemed to be around when he was over, the kid that had become like a little brother to him….that wasn’t his voice, but something created because of what was happening to him. what evan had done to him. shaky breath came forward, guilt and fear keeping him from getting closer, from stopping the bleeding. evan wanted this to be over, to stop seeing people he cared for ripped apart by his hands.
slowing his approach, feet barely leaving the ground knees fell forward, landing just by the curled up teen, not caring about the blood and perhaps even bile he was landing in…that was the least of his worries. hands gently went to touch the kid, evan didn’t have a choice, he couldn’t let alex die, couldn’t let him bleed to death because of his injuries. “alex..alex, it’s me evan, come on..” he choked out, words trailing off as he hesitated to do anything, his hand resting on alex, forcing memories of the abuse he had inflicted towards the teen to the front of his mind. “i’m sorry, oh god, i’m sorry…”
every muscle tenses when he feels fingers against his flesh ; he can’t stand it , can’t stop the feeling of skin being torn & bones being broken from playing on repeat in his head --------------- a cry rips itself from his throat , then , single sob followed by a gag . the teen’s stomach , overtaken by anxiety , tries to vomit for the second time , & alex chokes audibly on the coppery liquid that forces its way up . it burns , but it’s nothing compared to everything else he’s endured in this room .
❝ please , please , ❞ alex rambles , chest aflame , everything aching . whatever evan’s saying , trying to say : it falls on deaf ears , for the teen could only take so much of what habit had to tell him before he started to break down & get stuck like that . his heart had been slowing , before evan’s return , but it now pounds more rapidly by the second , red life spilling out of him all the faster . ❝ it hurts . . . ❞
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watch_dogs au notes that don’t make sense but i’m trying
jeff and alex’s parents were killed in the northeast blackout of 2003; jeff is more understanding about why it happened than alex is, but neither of them are particularly spiteful ( not that they’d just chill with ray like the wd2 cast, but, y’know )
they’re raised by another family member until jeff turns 18, at which point he takes custody of alex and they split from the rest of the family
she’s where the two of them gain interest in computers
jeff, steph, evan, and vinny are new jersey’s most prominent dedsec members
evan is the “fixer” of the group, vinny does the most hacking but never goes out and about, jeff can deal with violence and hacking like a real wd protagonist, and steph takes on a leadership + spokesperson roles
this isn’t saying too much, because it’s one of the less ctos-heavy states in the northeast, but they still know it + act like it
other local members include side characters we know and love: jessa, jessie, nick, daniel... etc
alex is specifically forbidden to join dedsec; jeff thinks it’s too risky / future-damaging and won’t allow it.
alex actually isn’t very involved in anything until later
poppy works with blume because her adoptive mother is a prominent employee; she becomes the local dedsec leak, and shares information through the main four in order to stop things from being traced back to her directly
she’s been caught hanging around dedsec affiliates ( main four ) by ctos, but learned her lesson and got away with it without significant punishment
since she can’t be around them without arousing suspicion, she tends to end up staying behind with alex whenever they decide to leave the house
“the habit virus,” as dedsec calls it, was designed by the nj divisions of blume to quickly tag, target, and often eliminate dedsec affiliates ( this is all done off the books, of course )
vinny is paid off and ends up turning on dedsec; he becomes blume’s rat, and is the one who starts of the distribution, purposefully covering his tracks by making it seem like evan is doing this work
although he was promised jeff, stephanie, and evan would be safe, he most likely knew they wouldn’t be; they’re are killed within the following months / year
poppy doesn’t find out about the virus until it’s too late, and doesn’t find out about vinny until blume’s fixers have already taken care of the rest of the main four. knowing he has won immunity, she kills him herself.
once everyone is dead, and dedsec seems to have been eliminated, alex finds himself alone, and he needs to make a decision: revive the revolution, or let sleeping dogs lie
alex graduates from high school, then decides he doesn’t care about going to college; he wants to bring dedsec back, like jeff and co. would’ve wanted
he contacts poppy again after a long period of no communication, and asks her to help him
poppy leaves blume, abandons the life she has, and devotes herself to breathing life back into dedsec like he has ( once she’s made sure all of the information on the habit virus is gone )
they’re extremely effective in the beginning, as using this dirt they have on blume - all of these deaths - works like a charm
neither of them are doing so well personally: alex being extremely damaged and empty from what he’s lost; poppy honestly shouldn’t have abandoned everything like that because this isn’t a life anyone should live
they expand, however, and continue the old work with their lives - and others’ - no longer on the line
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aiden .
breathing was hectic, tears threatening to fall as he silently punched in the number that first came to mind, teeth biting into bottom lip as choking gasps escaped from him. please answer..oh god please answer…he needed help, he needed someone, someone who could help him..anyone. he couldn’t do this anymore, there were no words for the all this shit that was happening to him, what it was doing to him. being dragged out of his home in the middle of the night, not sure whether or not the whispering and shadows were just his mind or actually there, waking up covered in blood in the middle of no where, a burnt ring of grass surrounding him. he couldn’t do it anymore.
as the phone tried connecting, the ringing filling his ears, aiden scanned the area once more, paranoid that something was watching him, waiting for him to leave the circle he had woken up in,ready to pounce and drag him off. a clicking sound caught attention,breathing shaky as he heard the familiar voice fill his ear. “hey! hey..sh-shit, i-i need help, somethings wrong, something is wrong..oh god…oh god…there’s so much blood, and-and..” aiden’s fast panicked ramble shifted into a cries, lungs begging for air as he struggled to catch his breath.
“i need help..please…somethings wrong…” he whispered, bloodied hands reaching up to run through sticky hair.
he hasn’t left the house since he found out . stuff scattered , aiden missing , & alex knows it’s his fault . he should never have left like that , & he knew that the entire time . he could have been here . he could have stopped this . instead , he missed it all , & he’s been locked up here ever since , no energy to clean anything , no desire to take care of himself --------------- left with nothing but fading hope that he’ll see aiden again one day . so many people lost , he can’t make it through another . he can’t .
when the teen feels the buzz of his phone , he sits up with a gasp , scrambling for the source of the vibrations with hope flaring in his chest . breathless , ❝ hello ? ❞ before he can even read the caller id , & when he hears aiden’s voice , he feels a more immense relief than he ever has before . it isn’t over , though . if only things could be so easy . ❝ . . . aiden ? do you --------------- do you know where you are ? ❞ before he can get an answer , he’s forcing himself onto his feet , shrugging on a jacket , frantically searching for aiden’s keys . ❝ you’re gonna be okay . i’m gonna find you . ❞ sounding certain , but he always seems more sure than he is . . . just don’t hang up .
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Reblog if you RP using Discord
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evan .
blurry images filled his vision, eyes cracking open ever so slightly as confusion blossomed within chest. where was he? what was happening? silence continued on, and in a moment of realization body lurches forward, dead blue eyes scanning the area, breathing haggard. he was in control, habit wasn’t there, that demon was gone and he was there…mind clear and his free will his. there wasn’t room for joy, dread starting to claw itself up his throat, guilt already forming for something he didn’t know the reason for…evan was here, and that only meant that habit wanted him to see something. wanted him to break, to scream, to cry…to see what they had done.
a shaky breath, fingers going to card through hair, stomach churning before a single name came to mind. alex…alex…alex was in the house, memory came, and horror filled bones. clambering to his feet, bile rising within throat, fingers grabbed the recording camera pointing it forward as he started his search. alex was here, habit had kept him, tortured him, and evan participated. mindlessly or not, evan knew somewhere what was happening, he could remember everything he said to the teenager, did to him, and finally a retching sound caught on film came. already empty stomach emptied even further, tears brimming eyes before he pushed forward.
he had to be alive, evan couldn’t have killed him, couldn’t have killed alex, the one person he had left ( other than vinny…but vinny wasn’t here,evan didn’t know where he went ). climbing the stairs of habits home, eyes wild as he searched, coming towards a familiar door. alex was behind this door, evan knew this, he could remember that…and shaky hand, stained brown from blood, reached for the door knob, the retching sound coming from inside causing him to push the barrier open…and the sight caused a sharp intake of breath.
what had he done? what did he do?! the teen before him black and blue, blood coming forth and evan felt his heart stop, tears and guilt coming forward as camera dropped to the ground. “a-alex? holy shit..alex?” he whispered before rushing forward, “shit..shit..shit..i’m sorry..i’m sorry!”
alex doesn’t want to hurt anymore . his brain feels like it isn’t associated with his body , like no matter how much he wills himself to get up & run , it isn’t going to happen --------------- meanwhile , pain explodes in his abdomen , teen’s body trying to curl itself into a ball , hands finding a resting place over his head without any permission from al himself . it’s all so fucking awful , & in this moment , alex wants to die . he’s wanted to die for years now , but never has he been so sure in the thought . if he had any way to end his life in this moment , he would . anything to make the pain stop .
tears start to flow down his face again , even though he was sure he’d run out by now . they go sideways , over his nose , two thick , salty streams that meet on the floor . ❝ no , ❞ & his voice is so broken , throat raw from sobbing & screaming , a boy already more dead than anyone ought to be . ❝ please , ❞ he begs , voice breaking , feeling too weak , skin too thin , bones too brittle --------------- ❝ p --- please don’t . no more . i can’t , i --------------- ❞
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i want a watch_dogs au
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aiden .
attention doesn’t waver from the scuffle happening just a few feet from them, gaze staring at the half elf and then to the guard, alex’s words barely reaching him before aiden glanced back at him. he noticed the need to help the victim shining forth from the kid and the thief silently grasped him arm, going to pull the other away from the altercation, “it’s out of our hands, we do not know the reason for that fight, and we do not want to be one the guards bad side. things like this happen…we know that the guards are not afraid to use force.” an observation that was needed.
the scuffle caught his attention again, mouth falling into a firm line as he watched the male half elf be dragged away, stumbling and tripping, the guards practically dragging him away, the yelling dying down to pitiful begs. “come on, we should continue our way to the inn, hopefully we’ll get some more answers on what happened once it calms down.” taking a quick glance to see where the fellow had come flying out of, body perks…a restaurant of sorts, not quite a tavern but still a building that served food. “we’ll stop there, ask some questions before going on with this mission…”
❝ hey --------------- ❞ he tries to protest as aiden pulls him away , going silent when the elder cuts him off but not looking away from the scene for even a second . blue eyes are following the guards & their victim , tracking each movement until they’ve totally dragged him out of alex’s line of sight . the teen grinds his teeth . he can still hear the half --- elf begging in his head . that isn’t right , that isn’t right , that isn’t ---------------
mention of the inn forces him to pay attention , staring at his feet as he listens . alex pinches the bridge of his nose , mad because aiden was right . he still wants to run after those dicks either way ; the thought makes his palms itch . deep breath . ❝ alright , fine . ❞ al doesn’t mean to snap like that , but what’s done is done . ❝ let’s hurry . i wanna know what that was . ❞ he’s already sure the poor guy hadn’t done anything to deserve treatment like that , & the warlock finds himself wishing he’d gotten a better look at the guards , at least . god . god ! how he’d show them . ❝ come on . . . ❞
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he thinks it might finally be over , but he’s feeling unsure . how many times has he had that very same thought before ? alex tries to count the seconds in his head , but he keeps forgetting the numbers , & by the time he’s straightened himself out , he realizes he’s lost track & needs to start over . one . two . three . three . three ---------------
alex doesn’t understand why he’s here ; he doesn’t understand much of anything . he knows he was never part of this loop , that he’s always been a side character in his own life without realizing it . he knows that habit , evan , whoever , has yet to grant him the mercy of death . most things , however , he doesn’t know : he’s way too fucked up to even think about them . he’s broken from the losses , a shell even more carved out than he had been in the beginning , or when he’d lost his dog . yes , his breaking point had been reached a long time ago --------------- but , as it turns out , he had room to break even more .
finally he gets up to eight , nine , ten , but he’s thrown off again when he hears footsteps nearby . is he coming back ? god , please , no . alex can’t take anymore , physically or mentally . his anxiety peaks in seconds , & he finds himself vomiting on the floor with a painful retch , half blood & half stomach acid in a pool by dried lips . he can’t find it in himself to move anymore after that , so he stays there , squeezes his eyes shut , & pretends he’s somewhere else . somewhere with his family . somewhere where he’s happy , & he isn’t covered in every shade of bruises , & he can’t feel the warmth of his own blood steadily fading into something almost frigid as it spills out all over the place . all he wants is for it to stop , stop , stop , & his fractured psyche can almost make it happen .
@nutritionaldisaster .
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