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I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me

it kinda goes like this

basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.

the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.

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so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:

Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.

Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.

Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.

Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.

Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.

Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---

The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.

I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:

Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!

But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?

How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?

Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?

am reason related to why am no men in stories?

characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.

Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.

But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?

... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.

So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!

anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.

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By @hainingart

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Heroes at Home

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Couldn't find Eris today for a hot minute. Counted the birds in her pen and came up 1 bird short, but I was SURE I didn't leave the door open. I looked all over the coop, I walked to her favorite dozing/sunbathing spots in the pen. Finally I thought, there's only one place I haven't looked, behind the door to the coop....

There she is. Mud colored little hen. Laying.... down.... like a broody.

Hey Eris..... what... whatcha got there...

Can I see it please?

Oh for pete's sake, not this again.

That's not an egg, that's a ball pit ball, Eris. It's goddamn blue.

This is why I can't take people seriously when they tell me mother birds will kick a bad egg out of the nest because They Know something is wrong. No, they don't. They don't know anything. Look at her face. Look at those completely blank eyes. There's not one single thought in that head. In fact, if you get close enough, you can hear the faint echo of elevator music drifting from the empty cavern of her skull.

By the way this is hands down the smartest bird I own.

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my 3 rent paying girlfriends (yes they all pay rent)

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The problem Sam Reich is going to have is that one day there will be an actual technical fault on Game Changer and nobody will believe him.

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What we have in mind for now are black dragons, with low density silver glitter, silver enamel, so that the pride flag pops)

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borthers..... im no good with art markers......

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sobbing and crying at the woman who stole a meth addicted kitten from her dealer and then she and the kitten got clean together

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How are my sweetie pees

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beautiful drawing I saw in the women's bathroom last night at the bar

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i think if bruce saw clark deliver this line it would awaken shrimp emotions in him

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It's inktober time of year again! Going to be animating every day for the 4th year in a row. ✨

Day 01: Dream