imonabitchparade

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Me *hearing your dinner plans wrong*: I do enjoy some good ol’ raw men. Can I tag along tonight?

#what is this #why am i like this #meme? #I want chaos #and raw men apparently #whatever that means #on this episode of Avantika are you okay???

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aint no condoms in my wallet girl those are ramen noodle flavor packets 

#me

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Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

#reblog every time I see this

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have u ever been a girl that is. so so scared.

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It is called "Gay School Bus" as the company was called Gay Toys, Inc. (As in the surname.)

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I love going downstairs for a tornado to pass through like girl you interrupted my quiz

#could you at least have waited until I was finished??? #Kansas things

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*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

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worst thing u can do to urself is have a big fat crush on a man. and then that crush develops into big fat feelings. that is called mental illness

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stabbing as a metaphor for penetration is great but when are we going to talk about pressing down on where someone is wounded to disarm them or just to be cruel while fighting. does nobody else care about the perverse intimacy of knowing exactly where to touch to overpower someone. the grotesque vulnerability of it. especially if you're the one who wounded them in the first place.

#oof

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“men aren’t pretty” wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking

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by talos this can’t be happening is a mandela effect because the actual phrase is by the gods this can’t be happening and i’ve never heard anyone say the former in game

#by talos this can't be happening

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gorgeous gorgeous girls have several fictional boyfriends of the same actor

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See but what happens when we’re BOTH adopted?

What then, OP?

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🤢 Remembering🤢 when 🤢I 🤢let 🤢myself🤢 be 🤢vulnerable 🤢🤢🤢