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ichigo-readings · 2 years
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[22.47]
❥ bang chan x fem!reader
❥ genre: fluff, angst, frenemies-to-eventual lovers
❥ warnings: mentions of toxic past relationships, cheating, divorce, mentions of smoking, one swear word
❥ word count: 3.7K
❥ A/N: hehehe this was supposed to be drabble but here we are~ um… i hope you like it? this loosely inspired by that one episode from grace and frankie hehe
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the loud chatter in the hall was starting to sound like nails against a chalkboard, piercing your eardrums and crawling into your skull, leaving a dull ache in its wake.
it really didn’t help that your ex-husband and his new wife were flaunting their relationship right in your face, surrounded by your friends and acquaintances. it had been a few months since your divorce but this was the first time you’d been out in public, in the same space as them, and perhaps you weren’t as ready as you thought you were.
taking a deep breath, you made your way to the balcony, ignoring the giggling circle of women who had suddenly let their expressions fall into fake sullen sympathy as you passed them by. you rolled your eyes internally as you pretended to not notice their gazes boring into the back of your head. finally stepping outside, for the first time that night, you felt like you could breathe.
well, almost.
there was a faint scent of tobacco in the air coming from the man leaned over the railing, his shoulders dropped as he stared at the twinkling skyline. you pursed your lips as you observed his static figure for a moment, head surrounded by a dissipating cloud of smoke. you knew exactly who that man was, and you had a feeling you knew exactly what he was thinking about.
there was only one person who’d look just as miserable as you were during a new year’s eve party: the husband of the woman your ex had cheated with.
‘didn’t know you smoked,’ you announced your presence as you walked over to him.
‘i didn’t either,’ he mumbled before taking another drag, eyes trained on the horizon.
‘the divorce hitting you hard, huh?’ you asked, though it came out more like a statement than anything. he nodded, lifting his head up to look at you.
‘it guess it is. what about you?’
you didn’t say a word, and simply gestured for his cigarette. he raised an eyebrow, not moving an inch, making you roll your eyes. you snatched the stick of tobacco from his fingers, immediately bringing it to your lips to take a long drag. or at least attempt to.
too much smoke entered your throat all at once and you choked before falling into a wild coughing fit, small puffs of smoke leaving your lips and nose.
‘whoa,’ chris laughed. ‘careful. you’re not supposed to inhale so much so quickly.’
‘and how was i supposed to know that?’ you snapped between receding coughs. ‘it’s not like i smoke on the regular. i only did it once in university. and that was 10 years ago.’
‘well i don’t smoke either but common sense is a thing,’ he quipped with a smug look on his face, straightening his back as he gestured for you to return his cigarette.
the way he looked at you made your whole body buzz with annoyance. ugh, you truly hated that look on his face, wanting to wipe the smirk right off his stupid face every single time. scowling, you threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it under your shoe.
‘hey, that cost me money!’
‘well too bad,’ you retorted. ‘why are you smoking anyway?’
chris looked at you for a moment and his expression relaxed. sighing, he turned to the skyline. ‘don’t know. felt like doing something stupid.’
you let out a small snort. ‘for that bitch who lied to you?’
your remark made his head snap towards you, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, as if challenging you. ‘you practically inhaled half of a cigarette for that ass who lied to you,’ he said plainly, a small smirk playing on his lips.
‘i– yeah fair point.’
both of you went quiet, heads turning to look at the cars passing by on the highway a small distance away. you rested your chin on your palm and let out a slow breath.
‘i thought this would be easier. it’s been months. but seeing him here with her…’
‘hurts?’
you shook your head. ‘stopped hurting a while ago. just… i guess the pain of the betrayal maybe lingers a little bit. but it’s mostly anger. reminds me that the past five years were a lie.’
you chewed on your bottom lip, chest feeling a little tight at the memory.
it was your anniversary when it happened—when you found out. he was out with you at your favourite restaurant. your eyes sparkled as you sat across from him, hand reaching up every now and then to gently brush over the pearls draped around your neck. right before you left home, he had gifted you the necklace and kissed your cheek, telling you he loved you.
and you’d believed him.
right until that night when you found the text messages on his phone, you’d believed him.
you remembered frowning, heart sinking a little every time he hummed as you spoke, tapping away on his phone. it didn’t surprise you—outings with just the two of you were always like that—but you’d wished he’d at least give you attention on your wedding anniversary.
you didn’t say a word though, not wanting to start an argument on a day that was supposed to be special.
he’d left the table to go to the restroom, leaving his phone unattended. it was something he never did. you should’ve known it was on purpose—the coward. he couldn’t say it to your face that he didn’t want you anymore so he baited you to figure it out on your own.
chris is home so i can’t do much but i’ll see you tomorrow at the office and make it up to you
i’ll even wear that little skirt you like
you grit your teeth as you recalled how your heart clenched with every message that flashed in the notifications bar. suddenly the world started to spin, your heartbeat went wild, and your throat closed. you felt lightheaded, chest tightening as you struggled to breathe. you were sick to your stomach as you opened the chat and read through your husband’s messages with his colleague. the wife of a man he called his friend.
that night you’d sunk to the floor of your bedroom, throat hoarse from all the screaming and crying. catching your reflection in the glass door of your wardrobe, you yanked the necklace off your neck, the pearls falling to the floor as tears fell from your eyes.
you didn’t love that man anymore. you didn’t want him anymore. but that memory. that feeling. that… betrayal. you would never forget what that felt like. even now as you stood on the balcony, you felt a little queasy.
‘i understand,’ chris’s soft voice reached your ears and pulled you out of your thoughts. ‘it wasn’t easy for me either. i mean, i could tell she didn’t love me anymore—but i hoped she’d at least be honest, y’know? guess i thought wrong.’
you clenched your jaw, red hot rage bubbling in your stomach. why on earth did those two get to happy while you and chris stood there on the balcony, still feeling a little lost and betrayed? they didn’t deserve your love. they didn’t deserve your tears. they didn’t deserve your anger. and they sure as hell didn’t deserve any space in your minds.
‘why are you hurting your body for someone like that then?’
‘hm?’
‘the smoking. i know you don’t do it for fun. why torture yourself for someone who never valued you?’
he exhaled with a sheepish smile. ‘touché. guess it’s a rather typical cliche huh? wife cheats on guy, guy becomes self destructive in an attempt to feel something.’
‘feel something?’ you laughed. ‘what, losing her made you numb, mr. emo?’ you joked, prompting him to roll his eyes.
‘fuck off.’ after a beat of silence, he continued. ‘i guess… i wonder if maybe it’s my fault. that maybe i wasn’t enough. and letting the bitter feeling take over when i smoke kind of… helps me deal with those feelings.’
‘like a punishment?’
he shrugged. ‘maybe. but also… like a release. like i’m letting go of my emotions and thoughts with every puff i exhale.’
‘wow…’ you breathed out, gazing into his eyes with a look of awe and sincerity. ‘that is… the most pathetic thing i’ve ever heard,’ you grinned, making him laugh.
‘yeah, i guess it is.’
‘okay but seriously, it wasn’t your fault. you were a good husband,’ he lifted his gaze to look at you, head tilted slightly as if a little surprised. ‘i saw the way you treated her. you were good. she was just… too caught up with someone else to notice.’
‘and you noticed?’ you hummed in agreement, this time with actual sincerity. chris pursed his lips, head nodding slowly. ‘damn. didn’t think you paid that much attention to me.’
you let out a small chuckle and rolled your eyes. ‘don’t push it. you’re still insufferable.’ he laughed along.
‘okay but why though?’
‘why what?’
‘why am i insufferable? what did i ever do to you?’
you opened your mouth to speak but before you could even get a syllable out, someone called out your name.
‘there you are!’ your friend nia approached the two of you. ‘i’ve been looking for you everywhere. remember that author lady i told you about? she’s here. come on, i want you to meet her.’
‘ah right,’ you nodded and turned to chris. ‘guess i should go.’
‘of course.’
‘do yourself a favour and fill your lungs with fresh air instead of garbage.’
he let out a breathy laugh and nodded.
.
after jumping from one conversation to another, you finally decided to step away and take a breather in a secluded corner. you only lasted about 30 seconds before another few women joined you—some friends of friends, some colleagues, some your ex’s business associates or their wives—people you knew but also didn’t. you smiled and nodded your head, not really listening to their conversation. that is, until nia approached the group with a sly smile and gave you a little nudge.
‘so… what were you doing out on the balcony with mr. dark, brooding and handsome?’
‘what?’ you turned to look at her, confusion lacing your features. she was about to respond when another lady cut in.
‘oh… my god… you were with someone?’ she whisper-shouted. ‘who?’
nia leaned into the center of the semi-circle and whispered the man’s name. and with that, a chorus of gasps went off.
‘isn’t he…’ one woman trailed off while the other pressed her lips together and gave a confirming nod.
two women let out breathy laughs, mouths open wide as they turned to you, making you shrink a little into the wall behind you. god, you wished nia would just keep her mouth shut for once. trying to control your expression, you turned to her.
‘we were talking. you know… the thing humans do when they meet each other in a social setting?’ you said in an almost friendly tone, despite your voice dripping with sarcasm.
‘just the two of you? all alone? secluded from the rest of the crowd?’
‘you know y/n…’ one of the women, who’s name you couldn’t remember for the life of you, started, ‘i didn’t think you’d move that fast. i mean you just got divorced. and that too with…’ she widened her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, pretending to wince.
alright now you were getting angry. you had no clue chris was even there. and even if you did, they had no right to speculate on your relationship with him. especially while mentioning your divorces in the same breath.
the group must’ve noticed the scowl on your face as one of the women spoke up, her tone a little condescending and dismissive. ‘oh come on… it’s a joke.’
‘well it’s not very funny,’ you snapped.
‘alright, we’re sorry,’ the lady next to her spoke up in a soft voice. she had spoken the least and had a gentle smile on her face, making you feel a little calmer. ‘we’re being insensitive. it must be so difficult for you right now. i don’t know how you do it. so young and already divorced. you had such a bright future too.’
never mind.
‘i honestly hope and pray everyday that nothing like that happens to anyone. i mean being cheated on is one thing. but for a whole two years? and then have your ex get married right after you divorce? i was beside myself when i got the news.’
the other woman nodded. ‘i remember how broken i was when i almost got my wedding called off. but des and i loved each other so much everything worked itself out, thank god,’ she clutched at her chest and flashed you a smile, one you didn’t reciprocate.
‘don’t worry y/n, you’ll find love again,’ nia spoke up. ‘and maybe this time you’ll know how to keep him locked down,’ she giggled.
and that was it. that was your breaking point. you’d stood there listening to these women tear into you, taking every passive aggressive to the chin out of politeness, but that was your friend essentially implying that it was your fault your husband cheated. unable to listen any longer, you quickly excused yourself and walked off, ears blocking out anything else any of them had to say.
your chest felt heavy as you made your way through the crowd, eyes glazed over, completely zoned out and unaware of your surroundings. you’d bumped into someone and mumbled a quick apology before continuing your walk down the hall towards the exit. you felt suffocated and choked up, your throat hurting a little from forcing your tears away, jaw clenched.
how could she say something like that? was it really your fault? why were you here? who were you here for? were any of the people here your friends? did any of them care? did–
a hand on your elbow snapped you out of your spiralling thoughts. your turned around to a very worried looking chris, his brows knit together as he examined your face.
‘hey you okay?’
lips trembling a little, you gave him a quick nod. ‘yeah i’m fine i just– i need to go,’ you murmured and continued walking, the man following suit.
‘are you sure you’re okay?’
‘mhm’ you nodded once more and picked up the pace, walking out the main entrance and down the stairwell. you spotted your car approaching the driveway and parking right by the entrance and made your way to it, swinging the door open and sitting in the passenger seat.
you leaned your head back and breathed a sigh of relief as the familiar scent of geraniums filled your senses. every time your social battery died at one of these boring parties, you’d always slip into your car to recharge and play your favourite music.
instinctively you turned to your right, your eyes immediately meeting with your ex husband’s, who was staring at you with a mixture of surprise, concern and guilt.
you felt your eyes gloss over as you looked around the car and realised it wasn’t yours anymore. that he wasn’t your husband anymore.
‘y/n. are you–’ he spoke up but you lifted a hand and shook your head before scrambling to get out, your gaze immediately locking with his wife standing a few feet away.
‘i’m guessing this car is for you,’ you said to her and walked off. she looked almost remorseful but you knew she wasn’t. how could she be? she knew what she did. she knew what she was doing. that expression wasn’t remorse—it was triumph hiding behind the facade of sympathy.
you made your way back to the stairwell and noticed chris standing there, a pained smile on his face.
‘you okay?’ he asked, and you nodded softly.
‘yeah, uh…’ you breathed out. ‘i just– that just– i-i wasn’t expecting that to happen. i just feel a bit…’ took in a deep breath, running out of words, your head feeling a little fogged over.
‘it’s okay, i get it. want me to drive you home?’
‘that would be nice, yes.’ your ride back home was nia and she was the last person you wanted to speak to. ever.
‘okay. let’s go. i’ll take you home.’
.
‘we’re here,’ said chris as he parked the car by the entrance to your building, and you nodded, still not moving an inch, mind miles and miles away. ‘you good?’ he asked, taking off his seatbelt to lean a little closer.
‘yeah. yeah. it’s just…’
‘you miss him?’
you shook your head. ‘i just– i just remembered how great of a liar he is,’ you said with a small, incredulous chuckle. ‘and how stupid i was.’
he didn’t say a word and just looked at you, waiting for you to continue.
‘he pretended to be in love with me so well. but kept seeing her behind my back and i– i didn’t even see it coming,’ you paused for a moment and licked your lips, feeling your mouth dry up. ‘and now– now i’m just realising how stupid i am for trusting him. for wasting so many years on someone like that.’
chris felt his heart sink at the sight of your broken expression. he understood how you felt. it’s what he’d been feeling too. the only difference was that he knew how much worse it was for you. he knew he was stuck in a loveless marriage—but you? you’d always thought your ex-husband loved you.
he moved his hand a little before retracting it, eyes flickering to yours as your brows drooped and the corners of your lips tugged downwards. taking a small breath, he reached forward and squeezed your hand, a gentle smile making its way onto his lips.
‘you’re not stupid. i mean, i understand your situation more than anyone. it’s not stupid to expect someone who promised to be yours to… stay that way. it’s not your fault.’
you smiled with a frown, nostrils flaring slightly as an inaudible chuckle escaped you.
‘you know it’s funny. of all people… i never thought you’d be the one i’d be sitting with, crying over my broken marriage.’
‘yeah… trauma bonding does wonders, huh?’ he laughed, making you laugh along and shake your head.
‘i’m sorry,’ you said in a hushed tone, eyes darting away as the smile faded from your face.
‘for?’
‘for always being so mean whenever you came round. i don’t find you insufferable.’
for a moment neither of you spoke. you, not knowing how to continue. and him, knowing there was still more you wanted to say.
‘and it wasn’t because i hated you either. i don’t hate you. at all. i think you’re a really wonderful person.’
the compliment made him smile, ears tinting up slightly despite the sombre atmosphere.
‘i was just annoyed. because… whenever you and your wife—well ex wife—came by, he’d… just give her so much more attention. he’d listen to every word she said and ignore me when i spoke to him. it made me hate her and in turn, it made me resent you. because he said you were his friend and he’d invited you and your wife to meet up.’
chris winced a little at your words. that man was many things… but he wasn’t a friend. he was anything but.
‘and then since she was his secretary, they’d go off to talk about “business”. guess it wasn’t really business after all,’ you scoffed. ‘i just hated that he always left me alone with a man i barely knew.’
you bit your lip, heart sinking a little at the memories of the past few years of your marriage. you’d always felt second to your ex’s work. for him, his company was everything. and then you realised what you were really second to was another woman.
you sniffled a little and cleared your throat. ‘i didn’t hate you. i just hated the fact that seeing your face meant i’d have to compete for my husband’s attention. and it really didn’t help that he always invited you two over on days i hoped were just for the two of us. i was annoyed that you two were always around.’
and with that, you turned to meet chris’s eyes, giving him the signal that you were done talking.
‘i never assumed you hated me, you know. i know you were frustrated. i know because i was too.’
‘then why did you always argue with me?’
‘what? you were rude and snarky. you expect me to be nice to you?’ he joked, but you looked down, feeling ashamed.
‘good point. i’m sorry.’
‘ah come on, don’t apologise. for the most part our verbal sparring was a whole lot of fun,’ he laughed, eliciting a small giggle out of you. ‘and… if i’m being honest. i didn’t hate seeing your face. it was quite comforting, actually.’
‘it was?’
‘yeah,’ he nodded. ‘at least there was someone else there to keep me company. i think… weirdly enough, you were the biggest constant in my life.’
you feigned a gasp and clutched your chest. ‘careful christopher… sounds a whole lot like you’re trying to confess your undying love for me,’ you teased.
‘ha ha. very funny. you can keep dreaming.’
‘oh? you think you’re such a catch, huh?’
he shrugged his shoulders with a hint of cockiness. ‘naturally. you’d be lucky if i gave you the time of day.’
his comment made you laugh out loud, hand lightly pushing at his shoulder, making him giggle. ‘yeah sure,’ you rolled your eyes playfully. ‘anyway, i should go. it’s getting late,’ you said, taking off your seatbelt and opening the door.
right as you stepped out of the car and turned to close the door, you ducked down to look at him.
‘good night.’
‘night, y/n.’
‘i’ll see you around?’
he nodded. ‘see you.’
before you could close the door, he called out for you and you bent down to look into his eyes, raising your eyebrows expectantly.
‘happy new year.’
you couldn’t help the warm smile that spread across your lips—nor the warm, fluttering feeling that bubbled up in your chest as you looked at his bright, dimpled grin. ‘happy new year.’
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ichigo-readings · 2 years
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↠ lie to me | bang chan
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summary ▸ he’s spent his life always just a little bit on edge, with only a few people he could truly trust. he could see right through everyone, through their lies and their facades. how was it that you were the only one that he couldn’t read? 
pairing ▸ bang chan x fem!reader 
genre ▸ witch!au, fluff, angst, healing/comfort, lots of other idols as characters, a lot of scenes that don’t involve the pairing asjkhfaksfh (I wanted to touch more on lore and backstory this time haha)
other characters ▸ mentions of all skz members, mentions of all shinee members but mostly lee taemin, park jisung, choi san, kim hongjoong, jung wooyoung
words ▸ 7.6k 
WARNINGS ▸ explicit language, use of the word “slut” but not directed at the mc, mentions of alcohol
song rec ▸ The Riverlands - Yasunori Nishiki (Octopath Traveler OST)
a/n ▸ hey so,,,, taemin cameo sajfhaskfjh cameos galore LOL BUT ALSO this is one of my favorites of the series (shocker) and I hope you enjoy the last part of the lost luna. (For now… 👀)  still thank you all so much for reading this series and for loving it so much. it makes me so happy because this is something I’ve wanted to do for so long, having this blog encouraged me to finally finish this project I’ve had long before I made my own blog to share them on. 🥺🤧💜 enjoy my moonbeams!! (I got so carried away with this one but I have no regrets)
the lost luna masterlist
a little the lost luna lore: The magical world has a group of witches known as The Ancient Council. They’re some of the strongest witches in the world, and they are often addressed as “Your grace.” a little bonus too: here’s the moodboard that inspired taemin’s cameo
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one. 
The rain pattered against the sea of umbrellas as cars drove by, ads played on the buildings and music could be heard occasionally. A sea of people passed by Chris as he let his thoughts wander on this rainy early morning. 
The crowds passed by, busy and chattering on about nothing, for Chris, it used to be too much. He used to hear everything. Every feeling, every passing thought.
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ichigo-readings · 2 years
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i've been away for far too long. i miss reading all these creations. lets get back to it❤️
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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a throne of roses | hwang hyunjin
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genre: royal au, fluff/angst, fem!reader
warnings: blood, violence, a little suggestive (hehe)
word count: 16.7k+
description: when the king that conquered your country, hwang hyunjin, arranged a marriage for the two of you, not once did you expect to feel any emotion except hatred and bitterness to blossom between you. will you stand to hate your enemy until the end, or will you realize that the cold-hearted ruler is not as cruel as he seemed?
a/n: im back!! im so sorry to have been gone so long. i suffered a huge writer’s block, and even now, im really not sure how this fic holds up despite being my longest story by a lonnnngggg shot. i really hope people like it ahhhh >.< i will get back to my kiss prompts now that i got this monster fic out of the way! as always, i love all of you guys and my ask box/dms are always open if anyone wants to be friends!! <3
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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It's Okay, I'm Here Pt. 1
Pairing : Bang Chan × Reader
Genre : Fluff, angst
Warnings : Mentions of car crash, death, maybe cursing later on?, also not proof read.
A/N: Going to be a part 2 since it was getting longer. Besides quarantine has got me working my brain and there’s too many thoughts in my head rn, so I need to arrange the chapters a lil bit.
Enjoy!
i.
One week.
That’s how long it took for your whole life to take a completely different turn.
And for the love of life, there was nothing that seemed to be going your way anymore. Right now as you sat in the much hated building, the table fan whirring with a sputtering sound, all you wanted to do was clock out and go home.
Your phone dinged with a message from your boss, Bang Chan.
Boss : Y/n, I need the new demo at the latest. We only have another week.
Boss : Speaking of which, why aren’t you back yet? Lunch ended an hour 
You sighed as you messaged him back.
You : I notified you earlier that I would be on a half day today.
You : The demo is ready, I’ll mail it to you by this evening.
Before you could explain your situation a man spoke up.
“Miss Kim Y/n, are you Kim Sooji’s guardian?”
You stood up from your seat, “Yes, I’m her sister.”
“I would need to see your ID for confirmation.” He said, setting down the small plastic box on the desk in between you.
You handed him your ID and he punched in something into his computer.
After he confirmed that you were both indeed siblings he nodded his head and pushed the box towards you.
“These were found on the sight of the crash. You can check and let me know whether these were her only belongings.” He leaned back in his chair.
You nodded and one by one took out all the objects in the box, which weren’t many.
Her sunglasses which were still intact inside the vinyl case, her wristwatch thay had a crack across the middle, as if a reminder as to what had happened that fateful night, her broken phone, a now damaged and dented hardcover of her favorite novel Oliver Twist, and lastly her red purse with her cards still intact and some cash.
But what made your eyes glaze over and and harden your hold over the purse was the photograph staring back at you.
Your jaw still clenched, you shut the wallet and placed everything in your bag.
“Yes, that’s all.” You tell the officer.
“I suppose you’ll be visiting the hospital now?”
You nod again, clearly too tired to even talk anymore.
“Will that be all?” You ask.
He nods before adding, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
You spare him a glance.
Do you really? But why would you be? It wasn’t your fault that she crashed her car.
You bit your tongue to prevent the words from leaving your mouth and incline your head at him in a thanks, finally leaving the police station, the presence of your dead sister’s belongings in your bag making it feel heavy.
ii.
“Hey kid,” you crouch in front of the seven year old.
She immediately hugged you tight clinging onto your neck.
You pat her back in a comforting way and hold her close to you. It was your way of showing that she wasn’t alone anymore.
“Let’s go home, yeah?” You smoothed her hair and straightened her frock.
She nods and clutches on to her teddy tightly. The white bandage on her head which just a week ago had a bright red spot on it was absolutely clean now.
You held her hand in one of yours and with the other you carried her small bag which had some of her clothes and toys in it.
“Wait here okay?” You tell her at the lobby where you stop to sign a few papers before finally leaving the hospital.
“Auntie,” her small voice catches your attention.
“Yes Byul?” You ask warily, carefully putting on her seat belt and stowing her belongings in the back.
“Are we going your house or mine?” She asks.
“We’re going to my place. You’ll be staying with me from now on honey. You okay with that?” You almost scoff at your last sentence. What other choice did the seven year old even have other than living with you? Your parents weren’t around either. You had already signed the necessary documents taking Byul in your custody after Sooji passed away.
She nods her head fervently and you’re scared she’ll hurt it again with that vigorous shaking.
She looks at you with an expectant look on her face, and all you can do is offer her a smile.
It’s as if she knew that you were her only hope now. Her only surviving family.
iii.
The ride back home had been easier than you thought.
You had felt like sitting in a car would make Byul go through some trauma. A lot of people were scared of travelling by cars right after being in an accident involving one.
But she just sat there looking out of the window, her eyes flitting around as she took in her surroundings.
Settling down however might take you some time.
Byul was a good girl. And truly you couldn’t ask for a better niece. But right now, she was being rather too difficult for you to handle.
She refused point blank to eat anything you offered her and was stuck to your window chair, looking out at the people passing by from your fourth floor.
You understood. Of course you did. But it made you upset that she had to go through this at such a young age. But she wasn’t too young to not understand what had just transpired.
She knows she doesn’t have a mother anymore. She knows how she died. Because she was there when it happened. The only reason she had survived was because the impact had been more on the front part, almost immediately making Sooji vulnerable to it.
“Byul honey, you need to eat.” you say trying to feed her.
She shook her head again and continued looking out the window. It was getting dark now. The last rays of sun had already faded long ago and the sky was plastered with stars now, the moon shining brightly in the summer night.
You sigh at your umpteenth failed attempt of getting her to eat amd finally cave in leaving the girl to her thoughts on the windowsill.
You decide that after tidying up a bit you’ll put her to bed and try to get her have some breakfast tomorrow morning.
For now though you get comfortable on the couch with your laptop as you mail the demo to your boss, glancing at Byul ocassionally.
What was one supposed to do in this situation?
You, who had zero experience in kids, were now going through a crisis. Like how were you supposed to take care of a ten year old all by yourself?
You wish you had taken a more active participation in Byul’s upbringing. Sooji had been a single mother, but back then she had your parents to help her.
Tragic, how she lost both mom and dad at such a young age.
You catch her falling asleep with her head on the window sp you put away your laptop and walk up to her.
Her childlike innocence was still present on her tender face, albeit etched with sadness that was shown by the little frown on her forehead. You gently pick her up in your arms and tuck her in your bed.
With everything happening so fast you had had no time to get a room ready for her. She’d have to sleep with you for the time being.
You made a mental note to visit Ikea later on.
With her tucked away safely into the blankets you finally have a more relaxed mind.
Sleep doesn’t have any plans to visit you tonight, for you feel wide awake but you have nothing better to do .
So you sit on the couch in the semi darkness of your living room, the only source of light being the silvery glow of the moon, and stare into space.
Your thoughts which were constantly clashing a week ago, had now quietened down as the prospect of the new responsibilities weighed down on you.
Sleep comes somewhere around 3 AM and you drag yourself, tired, to your bed where you cuddle the little girl before clocking out for the day, hoping to wake up with a clear mind and a new purpose.
iv.
“You need to eat Byul!” You were positively frustrated now to the point where you would make her force eat something.
But you can’t.
She’s not your child, moreover she’s not under any obligation to listen to you.
You sigh for the hundredth time in two days and place the untouched plate of toast and strawberries on the counter top with a thunk.
“Fine…fine, don’t eat. But I’m telling you, you’ll get hungry later in the day.” You say.
She just shrugs and runs off to the balcony where she muzzles beside the plants, looking through the railing.
You glance at the clock and find that you have a little more than an hour to leave for work.
You had already thought this out. For the first few weeks, or months, or however long it took Byul to settle down with you, you’d take her to school with you and then go to your company.
This meant you would prabably be late by fifteen minutes everyday but that wasn’t important right now.
“Byul dear,” you say rather hesitantly. She turns to look at you, eyes scrunched due to the sunlight.
“You need to get ready for school.”
“I don’t wanna go.” She murmurs surprising you.
You bend down to her level, “You already missed a week honey, you can’t miss anymore.”
She’s suddenly tearing up and soon enough is sobbing on the ground as you’re left panicking.
Great Y/n, you made a kid cry.
“I miss m-mom. Bring my mom back.” She cries rubbing her eyes as an endless stream of tears flows down her cheeks which were already flushed pink.
You felt a stinging pain in your hear and your throat chokes up. You feel helpless and useless at the fact thay you can’t give this kid the only thing she wants.
You saw this coming. Considering how passive aggressive this kid was being, you knew she would be break down any moment.
And even though you were ready for this, you still didn’t know what to do.
So you hug her, her little arms clinging onto your neck and her tears staining your shirt.
You’re aware of how afraid she is in this new environment, without a motherly figure, without the only person she could call family.
You knew how it hurt to wake up in a strange room, the familiar face of your loved one no longer coaxing you to wake up with kisses.
And even though you’re hurting like hell, because you lost your one and only family too, you can’t cry. For Byul’s sake you can’t.
She needs you, and you need her. It’s as simple as that.
You don’t know for how long you sit there on a hot summer morning on your balcony, Byul clinging onto you for dear life, but you know you’re late to get ready for office.
And you know what? You couldn’t care less.
v.
After many tears, a few more tantrums and a lot of coaxing, Byul finally ate her breakfast while you called your colleague to tell him that you’ll be late.
You had also managed to make a deal with the little girl.
“Okay Byul, I’ll give you one more week before you go to school, ” At this her face lightened up.
“But, I need to go to work, and I can’t leave you alone. So I’ll have to take you with me. But you have to promise me that you won’t cause any trouble okay?”
She looked at you with a gleeful expression, delighted at the prospect of going to her aunt’s workplace.
Before you knew it she was already rushing to get ready while you cleaned up.
“Hey Y/n, who’s this?” Your colleague, Seungmin asks.
Byul hides behind your leg as she peers up at his face which settles into a huge smile on seeing her.
“She’s my niece. I’ll be bringing her here for some time before I can make any arrangements.” You say.
He nods in acknowledgement and bends down to greet the girl.
He knows what happened to your sister, but he doesn’t push you nor does he give you a look of sympathy. That was one great thing about him, and that’s what made him a great friend too.
“Hey there munchkin, I’m Seungmin, hope we can be good friends.” He says smiling.
Byul looks at you and you give a reassuring smile before she turns back to him and introduces herself.
You can see how smitten she is by the boy’s charm and have to hold back your laughter.
“Oh Y/n, Chan’s been looking for you. I told him you’d be late today.” He says straightening up.
You nod and take Byul’s hand to lead her to your studio.
You had your own studio where you’d often be joined by Changbin and Jisung, two of the main music producers in Lime Entertainment, your company.
Byul is immediately fascinated by the recording equipments and is buzzing around the room exploring everything. She sits on your swivel chair and moves back and forth in glee.
There’s a knock on your door and it opens to reveal none other than your boss, Bang Chan.
Any other day you’d be fawning over him, and how good he looked in those skin tight jeans and white dress shirt, the cuffs rolled up so his muscular arms were on display. His blonde hair was as usual combed neatly.
But with your recent predicament, nothing except work and Byul was on your mind, making you forget your crush on the handsome man in front of you.
“Y/n,” he says flashing you his dimpled smile.
“‘Morning sir, I was just about to visit you.” You say straightening your shirt.
He frowns a little before saying, “Come on Y/n, how many times did I tell you to drop the formalities when we’re alone. We’re graduated together!” He says.
Yes. You graduated together, from the same university, same course and same batch.
Not many knew but you and Chan were best friends. It had been so since the third week of uni when you two were paired up for a project and had since then become the best of friends.
And now here he was, successfully running his own entertainment company while you, being a simple minded person, were more than happy to work under him.
On many occasions he had offered you higher posts than a producer, but you had always refused. Where you placed on this pyramid was the least of your concerns when you were happy with the way things were and doing what you wanted to.
“We’re not quite alone you know.” You say gesturing towards Byul who was looking curiously at the blonde haired man.
At her sight his smile grew wider as he almost ran to the little kid fawning over how cute she was.
“Hey there Byul! I’ve heard a lot about you from your aunt.” He smiles.
Byul smiles at him, his friendly persona rubbing off on her. You bet she already had plans on being best friends with him.
“Is she going to stay here today?” He asks watching her fondly as she fiddles with the buttons on the console.
You wonder how someone who had never even met Byul be so fond of her already.
But this was Chan. And Chan loved everybody. Especially kids and dogs.
“Yeah, for a week at least. I let her take an off, she’s not ready to go back to school yet.” You say.
Maybe your face showed how tired you were because Chan immediately sensed something was wrong.
But he knew better than to not question you in front of Byul.
“Well then, I guess I’ll leave you to your work now,” he turns to Byul and adds, “See you later kiddo.”
“And Y/n,” you look up at him as he walks over to the door, “Take it easy.”
And then he’s gone, leaving you and Byul in the studio.
You take a deep breath as you ready yourself for yet another day.
vi.
You know what Chan is up to when he asks you to meet him five minutes prior to your break.
This was his strategy of getting you to his office and have a conversation with you. And you know all too well what it’s going to be about.
And even though you know that he was just looking out for you as a friend, you are in no mood to comply to his wishes of having a heartfelt talk on death and moving on and all that shit that people have been trying to tell you the entire week.
You don’t mind your relatives messaging you about how sorry they were for your loss and that they were truly ashamed that they couldn’t attend the funeral, but you don’t think you could have this conversation with your best friend face to face without snapping.
“You called me.” You say peeking through his door.
He blinked up at you, the bright light from the screen making him see spots in front of his eyes for a few seconds before his focus came back.
“Oh, yeah, take a seat.” He gestures to the chair opposite him.
“Just so you know, I need to feed Byul, I hope this doesn’t take too long.” You crossed your arms over your chest as you took a seat.
He blinks up at you as if trying to figure out what was going on in your head, but your face had a stoic expression.
He moved his chair away from the screen and towards you.
“Are you free tonight?”
“No, I have to go grocery shopping.” You blatantly lie. You have enough grocer to last you for a whole week.
“Oh, can I tag along? We can eat dinner together…?” He said hesitantly.
You run a hand over your face in a haggard way.
“Chan, what’s your deal?” You ask fixing him with a stare.
“We’ve just…not had dinner together in a while. Thought you might like the company.” He shrugs staring right back into your eyes.
“Not right now Chan. I have too much to do. I don’t have the time to sit down and enjoy a meal.”
“Y/n, you know I’m here to help right?” He says gently holding your folded hands in his.
A sudden anger surges through you, something which you couldn’t explain in a rational way. But your mind had been a mess since the last week.
“You’re not going to be here always,” you snap, snatching away your hands and standing up angrily.
“You can’t, it’s…it’s irrational and stupid of you to say that when you don’t know what could happen anytime!” You exclaim making angry gestures with your hands.
“I’m not saying-” he starts but you cut him off.
“Leave me alone Chan. I know you’re looking out for me but I need some time alone.” You say and leave before he could say anything else.
He’s left perplexed at your sudden outburst but doesn’t blame you for it.
He can only imagine the pain you’re going through, the sudden responsibility of having to look after a child and the loneliness you were going through.
But he was frustrated at how you kept pushing him away, blocking him, from helping you.
You needed someone beside you right now.
He could already see you - feel it, more like - cracking under all the pressure. And he was more than ready to be there for you.
He slumps over his desk, deep in thought as he’s torn between two choices.
Either leave you alone like you wished to be, and see you break.
Or ignore your lies of not needing help and stay by you.
And he sure wasn’t going with the former one.
So ignoring your wishes, even though he knew you’d get mad at him, he’s already deciding on what to cook for dinner as his papers and work lay forgotten.
Because he couldn’t bear to look at his best friend, the person he had fallen in love with so desperately, break down slowly in front of him.
He was going to be there for you, whether you liked it or not.
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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who you are, who i am. | lee minho
pairing: lee minho x reader
genre: arranged marriage au, stuck in another dimension au, strangers to lovers, fluff with angst, humor, occasional 4th wall break by yours truly
description: when you find yourself waking up to a good-looking man who claims to be your husband, there isn’t much for you to do aside from assuming you got stuck in a drama, you know?
word count: 48.6k +
author’s note: and we are finished with these two! this is quite long but i didn’t feel like separating them into two parts for the sake of fulfillment. to whoever is willing to go through with everything, thank you and i hope you like this 💞
warning: there is this one part where minho and mc fight and they both flinched, my writing getting worse in the bottom half of the story, probably lots of typos i can’t catch…
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You have had a fair share of envious moments before.
Whenever you see adorable and loving couples wandering across the streets, sharing a cold boba drink while letting their shared scarf do the deed of warming them up in the cold winter night. You want to gouge your eyes out to save yourself from the public display of chaste affection but at the same time, you cannot stop staring because if you stare long enough, you might just be able to replace the couple with you and the imaginary perfect boy in your head.
You have had a fair share of needy times before. Not just to fulfill the long list of guilty pleasures you could not possibly handle on your own, but also just to fall in love with. You want somebody to feel up against, to hold close to, to remember, and laugh to yourself about when you are going about your daily life.
And for sure, you have prayed for a significant other at one time or another; discreetly whispering towards the birthday candles and the new year’s fireworks. For years, the odds were not in your favor, until at this exact moment when you opened your eyes after long hours of sleep you could not remember yourself ever heading to.
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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speed it up! | street racer!han jisung hcs
this was gonna have an elaborate plot, but i decided to fuck it and do hcs instead. u win skz. u win. | [m.list]
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ok but student by day, illegal street racer by night?
that’s kinda hot, han jisung is hot AKSJSKSJDJ
when u first met him through ur mutual friends, u certainly wouldn’t have thought that tho
i mean, he just looked like your typical uni student
ok well typical uni student out of a shoujo manga AKSJMSJS
his espresso brown hair was always styled neatly
it was so neat that it sat on his head like a crown
and he carried himself like a cute prince too
he always stood up straight and never slouched (but maybe that’s because of his height insecurity AKDJDJ)
and he always smiled kindly at you whenever u bumped into him on campus
don’t even get me started on the eye contact because oof,,,
OOF
u’ve never been great with eye contact in the first place but ???
WITH PRETTY BROWN EYES LIKE JISUNG’S STARING INTENTLY INTO YOURS ?????
U HAD A HARD TIME TALKING TO JISUNG AT THE START BECAUSE OF THAT
and of course, u, the hopeless romantic, just had to fall in love with him huh
LIKE THE BAR IS IN HELL HELL HUH ????
a boy is cute and nice and suddenly UR IMAGINING UR FUTURE WITH HIM
u guess it worked out anyway because a year into your friendship
he jumped the gun and asked you out
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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the song of the tsungi horn (i) — s.cb & reader
[ tags ] enemies to lovers, fake engagement, avatar the last airbender!au, firebender!changbin, waterbender!reader, changbin is just really misunderstood, takes place in the events just before the third season
[ warnings ] short mention of parents that were verbally.
[ notes ] i finished avatar the last airbender a few days ago, so i decided to write this small three part fic for it. i haven’t written anything for awhile on this blog, but i hope you all enjoy! 
Seo Changbin knows nothing of peace or tranquility. 
Always on edge, never at ease, always wondering when someone is going to push him off the deep end and leave him forever. Like his mother, like his father, like the entire world. 
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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Scintilla - prologue | Bang Chan
Summary & More Info | Masterlist
* I’m sorry, but this is the last repost. I decided to go with a reader insert instead of an OC as I felt much more comfortable writing that way. Writing with an OC isn’t something I personally like to do, so there. Once again, I am so so sorry!
Characters: Stray Kids, Reader
Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader
Summary: this is a prologue and therefore establishes what will be going on in the future chapters
Genre: Royal fantasy [Red Queen AU]
Word count: Approx. 3.5k
Warnings: None
A/N: The prologue is finally here! Writing multiple-chaptered stories is not something I’m good at, but I love Red Queen so much and wanted to do something based off it for Stray Kids. Please don’t expect too highly of this series (I’m sure it’s going to be lacking and the plot/flow of the story won’t be the best), but I hope you’ll still support and enjoy reading it! ♥
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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Ethereal | Jung Jaehyun
Masterlist
One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven Pt. 1 | Eleven Pt. 2
The silence becomes your closest friend, and the stench of alcohol follows you with every step. You become succumbed to your thoughts, questioning everything about yourself, your life, and him.
Words: 7.1K
Category: Modern!AU, Angst, Fluff
Song Rec: Japanese Denim — Daniel Caesar
Warnings: Explicit Language, Mentions of alcohol & addiction, Mentions of slight depression
A/N: For once, I actually am consistent on something. Lol, let’s see how long that lasts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t put the entire chapter eleven that I had planned as I still had a bunch that I wanted to include before fully ending the story. So, I broke this chapter into two parts! Happy reading and stay healthy my lovelies! —Bambi
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The next morning was filled in silence. You didn’t want to focus on the city that came to life in the early morning below, or the birds that sang their peaceful tune as a warm breeze blew past your thin curtains that danced with the wind. The only thing that rang in your ears was Jaehyun’s soft snores; how he tossed and turned in his sleep, and how quick you were to get up from bed and start your day. 
A normal morning included waking up with him already looking over at you, a playful grin would play on his lips before pressing yours against them as he’d lift the blankets over your heads, and laughter would fill the entire apartment. Unfortunately, the only thing that decorated his lips was the stench of alcohol. A smell you were too familiar with for comfort. You pushed away the lingering thoughts and memories of your father sprawled on the couch with that stench on his parted, chapped lips. The memories were still sensitive for you to bear, you got up as soon as they crawled into your thoughts, and settled until you were sitting on the tiny stool outside on the tiny balcony. The sunlight seeped through your pores, the breeze whispering in your ears, you closed your eyes and hugged yourself tightly, enjoying the short moment of peace. 
“I just wish things had gone differently, that’s all.” 
Taeyong’s words still held a heavy weight onto your chest. Throughout all the confusion and questions that jumbled your mind, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know what he meant. Why his doe eyes looked so sad when he said that. How he couldn’t look you in the eye when he did, and how it set you on edge. You curled your lips to a line, staring at the city below, from the corner of your eye, you could see the empty easel, and a blank canvas sitting next to it. 
“The view isn’t so bad. Helps me past time and paint.”
“You still do that?”   
Was it really such a shock to Taeyong to know that you still paint? Maybe things really have changed, more than what Taeyong implied. You placed the empty canvas on the easel, grunting in the process of reaching for your paints, dumping them onto the piece of cardboard that was filled to the brim with paint. You reached for your phone, playing music gently in the background, you grabbed a brush, stared at the blank canvas, you finally began to paint.
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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how to love your dragon.
part two.
omg people liked part one that makes me so happy!! i’m finally posting part two.. there’s so much to come we haven’t even hit the surface of this story yet.. i’m so excited to continue! i hope you enjoy! (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ
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part one - part two - part three
genre: skz’s hyunjin, royalty!au, dragonboy!au, fluff (female reader)
word count: 2.3k
you aimed your quest towards your kingdom’s market place. you threw your hood over your head in hopes of avoiding being recognized by the masses. hyunjin silently padded behind you. he was still naked and barefoot, while the silk sheet still wrapped around his figure, being held up by his fist bunching up the fabric together at the front.
hyunjin spoke up once the market place came into view. “why are we going towards all those humans-“
“hyunjin we have to get you-“
“is this a set up? are you turning me in?” he starts sputtering in panic, feet nailed to the ground, staring at you in disbelief.
you turned around, looking at him, not amused. “hyunjin, i can’t take you into the palace naked.”
he squinted his eyes. “what does that have to do with you handing me over to humans?”
“i’m just going to the market to buy you clothes.” you huffed.
“why?”
“because if you’re coming with me to the castle, you have to seem at least a little human. that means you can’t walk around naked with wings hanging off your back.”
hyunjin gagged at the thought.
you sighed, and walked over to where the tree line started before the market, gesturing to the bushes. “sit over here while i get you some clothes. i’ll be back in a minute.”
he sighed dramatically, taking a seat on the ground. you chuckled to yourself, amazed at how the big bad dragon could act so stubborn sometimes.
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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panic relief with chan
[1:47 am]
some nights are scary. you sink into your bed further and further, hoping the voices in your head would cease, and the feeling of the world shaking would disappear. the uncomfortable freezing fire sensation that creeps up your back; the fear in your heart, and heartbeat in your ears erupting the more and more you try to push them out. dark thoughts creeping into your head, bad decisions and negative feelings invading your space, making your heart and chest feel restricted. the loudness, the tight feeling of your chest being strangled and your words are gone and your breathing’s hitching and your heart is racing and your mind won’t stop and you feel like you can’t do this-
“shhh, you’re alright.”
strong arms wrap around your body and push you flush against the only place that feels safe.
“you’re going to be okay. you’re doing so well. you’re not alone, i’m right here.”
you feel gentle fingertips smooth the hair on your hairline in light, repeated strokes, relaxing you; falling into the sweet touch.
“sleep baby. i know it’s scary, but i’m right here. if only i could love away all the bad things.”
he whispers with a scratchy tone, laced with sugar and exhaustion in its melody.
chan presses you into his chest, and your body releases it’s tension; you can finally breathe again. he kisses your forehead, you can feel his body relax; your bodies are tangled together, your face softly resting near his, feeling his slight breathing. inhaling and exhaling. you let yourself fall into a calm, and it’s then you can feel his smile form against your face.
“there you go. i’m so proud of you. let’s get some sleep, yeah?”
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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all i want is jisung to feel safe.
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ichigo-readings · 4 years
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ive been a caretaker for my grandma for over a year and she passed away tonight.
i feel so empty. i dont know if i did well enough while being her caretaker. i dont know if she hated me near her end. i hate this.
ごめんなさいおばあさん。。。幸せにしてください
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ichigo-readings · 5 years
Text
[Tales from the Pack] Seungcheol: Stubborn (Part 11)
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Characters: Seungcheol x female reader
Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff but also like fluffy angst??, a little bit of crack thanks to Josh
Word count: 3,907
Summary: You’ve heard the stories your relatives told you about werewolves when you were younger, but you always thought it was just a scare tactic to make kids behave. Well, up until you woke up in a den full of werewolves.
a/n: I think this is the first part that’s completely different from Seungcheol’s original storyline. but uhhh I hope it’s alright???
Previous | Next | Stubborn Masterlist
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ichigo-readings · 5 years
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watching the live tonight gave me the reassurance i didn't know i needed. we will get through this together ♡
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ichigo-readings · 5 years
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[classroom fun] hyunjin ignored you for the third time this morning, and it was absolutely no surprise. you never expected him to listen to you scold him for his untucked uniform, and when you told him to take off his silver ring, and when you asked him to head to the teacher’s office with you to hand in a class load of yesterday’s homework.
“hyunjin, the homeroom teacher clearly said you need to help out the classroom duties for a week or else you are getting the demerit,” you said, begged almost. as much as you didn’t enjoy his ignorant presence, you didn’t wish for him to be suspended either. “you know if you more than five then you can’t come to school anymore.”
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