i-am-a-koi

[i-am-a-koi]

whenever i shave my legs, my dog likes to sit next to me and lick them like she's never tasted human flesh before

#human flesh as in #she gives kisses #i'm not a serial killer #that is feeding my dog #human remains

[i-am-a-koi]

i'm melting from my wings

and oh boy am i a glutton for pain

#okay but have you ever dipped your hand in warm wax

[i-am-a-koi]

dream

so I was chillin on my couch and suddenly a satyr ran up to me. we were chillin once more.

Suddenly they get up look my in the eye, almost too intimately and say "don't wake up or the ghost will get you."

and dream me, is a bit of a 'no thoughts head empty' kinda person so of course i was like "screw you, you don't tell me what to do."

I woke up from my dream, something moved in my mirror, there was a flash of light and my spine tingled then I couldn't move for a solid 2 minutes.

moral of the story, if a mythical creature in your dream tells you not to wake up, just don't

#dreams

[i-am-a-koi]

smores and arson has a very small threshold of overlapping, and I intend to exploit it

#i also just want smores #but i feel like they taste better #being cooked over a house fire

[i-am-a-koi]

i am so mad. SO MAD.

i just wrote a huge chunk of text for a story, that is supposed to be in first person and my dumb butt used the wrong one, so guess who ahs to go through 20 pages of story line and CHANGE ALL OF IT????? MEEEEEEEEEEEE

#i'm going to cry

[i-am-a-koi]

i want to be the human embodiment of the noise ducklings make when running on tile

#sigh

[i-am-a-koi]

you know the fact that humans have to fight for literal human rights has a small inclination that the people of the government are in fact not human

#they have to be aliens #i'm calling it now

[i-am-a-koi]

my cat is constantly grooming me and can and will groom my whole head while im asleep (if she can't reach me she goes for my phone)

what does she think grooming your phone is going to do exactly

[i-am-a-koi]

i have a question, does anyone else have a pet that just does strange things, my dog likes to play fetch with rocks, she doesn't chew them or anything she just like to hold them gently and bring them to you

#dogs #we don't know why she does this

[i-am-a-koi]

yall are going to love this okay so the gelatin in jello comes from a variety of things but mainly from animals,

in order to make broth for soup you need to boil animal fat, bones, meat

and when soup cools down it gelatinizes, jello is just cooled down soup

soup

things that are soup:

jello

cereal

the ocean

lakes

soup

things that are stew:

the human body

bogs and swamps

i will not be elaborating further thank you

#i have ALL my arguments lined up

[i-am-a-koi]

the only thing keeping me grounded are the tiny bead frogs i made and the knowledge that since my father had all girls we will be the ones ending my families cursed bloodline

#that being said my bloodline genetics is like a tank

[i-am-a-koi]

why do y'all like soup so much

#air is a soup

[i-am-a-koi]

my sister is doing Mary Poppins for her school play and if i hear Chim Chim Cher-ee one more time i am going to chim chim cher-evacuate my home

[i-am-a-koi]

okay so you heard of Y'allternitive now get ready for

Y'allt girls

#fishnets and cowboy boots

[i-am-a-koi]

idk if y'all can see the color

but i found the little button to do colored text and i will make it all of y'all's problem

[i-am-a-koi]

!!!! hi koi :D

hello friend!!! i hope you are doing well!!!

[i-am-a-koi]

i have a nice amount of followers

enough where i feel very appreciated but also that i know i will not find my content on some rando persons account being narrated for millions of people to see my tomfoolery

#if i ever see my content on tiktok #i'm going to lose it #i already have seen one of my posts on pinterest