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hsangel64 · 9 months

Text

PLEASE READ IM DESPERATE TO KNOW HOW EVERYONE FEELS 😭 i worked so hard

what about the plans we made?

pairings: ellie williams x bsf!reader

summary: hanahaki disease is no joke

warnings: angst angst angst, use of y/n, no happy ending whoops, suicide and death

a/n: if you don’t know what hanahaki disease is it’s a japanese fictional disease people suffer from when they experience unrequited love. i tried to do a lot of my research so i hope i don’t butcher this completely! sorry i didn’t have this out sooner i just kinda went crazy with this-

you didn’t even know when it started it’s been so long. you’ve know ellie ever since she came to jackson, you both were 14 and you had been found after your mother had been bitten. you were alone and afraid so maria and tommy took you in. it had only been a couple of months after that ellie arrived with joel. you two had instantly hit it off and were attached at the hip after that day. you two would spend every second together and you slowly grew feelings for her.

you two were almost 18 when you met dina. that’s when you and ellie stopped seeing each other all the time. while she got closer to dina she got farther away from you. she stopped spending the night every day, she stopped having dinner with you, she stopped coming to friday night movies with you. she stopped being there completely. that’s around the time you started to feel sick. you felt the growth in your body slowly taking over. you started coughing up blood and felt your throat slowly start to close as the vines grew more and more each time you saw ellie laughing with someone who wasn't you. it got even worse when you finally got the guts to ask ellie for a movie night.

you had seen her by the stables surprisingly not with dina so you approached and decided to ask her about a movie night.

"hey els."

"hey what's up!" you internally rolled your eyes at her, how could she be so nonchalant about seeing me after weeks.

"so we haven't had a movie night in a bit i was thinking-"

"hey babe." you were cut off with dina coming up behind ellie kissing her on the cheek. you throat felt so itchy, it was slowly starting to get harder to breathe.

"hey you ready to go?"

"as ready as i'll ever be!" you felt sick you couldn't stand here and watch this anymore so you didn't say a word and left them behind. you looked back when you were far enough and it didn't even look like ellie noticed you left. you felt heavy your throat burning, the urge to cough. you sped up back to your house but bumped into someone.

"woah hey kiddo you okay?" shit it's joel.

"yeah yeah i'm okay." you scrambled to get up and try to walk past joel to get home, but he stopped you.

"hey hey what's up kiddo?" you couldn't hold it in any longer and you coughed up into your hand. you tried to wipe your hand before joel saw any blood but he was quicker than you.

"what the...y/n we gotta get you to the infirmary now."

"no no i'm okay i promise." you managed to slip out of his hold and you ran as quickly as you could to your house. once you got in you slid down the door and realized what had happened. dina called her babe, why didn't she tell me they were together? why am i feeling this way and what do i do about it? you stayed in that position for what felt like forever, staring at the wall. maybe you should go to see a doctor.

i don't wanna talk right now

i just wanna watch TV

i'll stay in the pool and drown

so I don't have to watch you leave

i put on Survivor just to watch somebody suffer

maybe I should get some sleep

sinking in the sofa while they all betray each other

what's the point of anything?

...

you stayed in your home the rest of the night ignoring the knocks from, who you assumed was joel. you spent the night on your couch with tons of bloody tissues around you. you sat and watched all the movies you and ellie loved. you didn't want to sulk for the rest of the night and wanted to figure out what was going on, so you got up and threw on a light jacket and your sneakers. you threw your hoodie on and made your way to the infirmary. you made sure that someone was in there and thankfully julien the head nurse was in the small office. you made your way inside and greeted her.

"hi julien."

"oh hey y/n, is there something wrong?"

"yeah i need some help."

ellie was at the tipsy bison with dina and jesse not having a care in the world. she couldn't stop thinking about how good her life felt right now. she watched dina dance with jesse with everyone else and couldn't get over how perfect this felt. her thoughts got interrupted by joel touching her shoulder.

"oh jesus joel you scared me." she jumped a little.

"hey kiddo i need to talk to you. it's important."

"uhh yeah what's up?"

"can we talk outside?" she nodded and he led her outside. the door opened and the small gust of wind sent a shiver down her spine, the cold air making her shiver as she only wore a flannel and didn't bring a jacket.

"so...?"

"it's about y/n." she gave him a small look of confusion.

"what about her?"

"ellie she's sick...."

"okay maybe you can give her some medicine and maria can make her that soup! you know it always helps and feels so good when you eat it-" he stopped her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"ellie this is serious not just some cold do you know anything she ran away from me today after i asked."

"um no i don't it's only been a couple of days since we last hung out."

"it's been more than a couple of days kiddo." she let out a small laugh and looked at him confused once again.

"what do you mean we just hung out..." she thought for a second, when was the last time they'd hung out? they fell into silence for what felt like forever until joel spoke up.

"it's been months kiddo, at least from what i've seen."

"has it really..." he nodded and her head stayed towards the ground. she really couldn't believe it was that long. you two had been best friends for years and never spent a day apart, what happened?

"when i saw her today she coughed up blood...i didn't know what to do and then she ran away on me. I knocked at her door multiple times but she locked the door so i couldn't go in and check on her."

"sh-she was coughing up blood?" she was horrified and felt frantic.

"she looked really sick, her skin was pale and she looked like she had gotten a little bit skinnier."

"joel i-i gotta go" she was shaking and needed to go see you. she pushed past joel and ran towards your house. she didn't feel cold anymore, her body was hot and she felt like she was going to explode. she knocked and knocked at your door and got no response, she was getting even more worried and tried to open your door.

"damn it." she remembered she had a spare key to your house so she ran over to her house and scrambled with her own keys. she was shaking so much that she dropped the keys on the ground cursing at herself to pull it together. she finally got it open and ran to search for the spare keys, she couldn't remember where she had placed them. ellie had a key holder that joel made her but she never used it, usually she would throw her keys anywhere when she would get home.

ellie felt herself start to breathe a little heavier as she searched and searched. she went to her desk and scanned all her drawers. as she was searching she came across some polaroid's of you she had taken. she stopped herself and scanned over the photos. it was a picture of you she had taken one day when you two had gone out during spring to a small meadow to have a picnic.

…

“hey look at those birds.” you pointed at the majestic bird in front of you guys. ellie genuinely couldn’t take her eyes off of you, you had this beautiful sun dress on that ellie found for you.

“he’s massive ellie take a picture !!” you shook her and she laughed at you as she took the polaroid of the bird. you stared at her whilst she took the picture, she wore a black tank top and some blue jeans with a flannel a top. she looked so good you couldn’t get over it. you wanted to kiss her.

“here look.” ellie showed you the picture she had taken.

“woah wait look!” ellie made you look towards the water to look at a couple of birds so she could get a picture of you. she loved taking pictures of you, she had a whole collection in a box inside of her drawer.

“hey don’t do that!” you swatted ellie’s hand after you heard the click of the camera.

“what ! i didn’t do anything!” she laughed and you snatched the camera out of her hands. she stopped you and grabbed you to pull you under her on the blanket. you both stopped and stared at each other, your breathing started to quicken as you felt ellie just above you inches away from your face. you felt her breathe on your lips, with her being this close you were able to fill examen her face. her freckles were your favorite part of her face. her eyes were a perfect shade of green, bright as is but even brighter in the sun. for what felt like forever being in this position ellie got up and moved away from you.

“oh! i made you something!” ellie exclaimed and grabbed a small box out of the basket you guys brought. she opened it and you gasped.

“chocolate covered strawberries?! how’d you even get the chocolate!”

“it took a lot of trading but it was worth it.” she smiled at you and and went to grab one out for you. you opened your mouth and she shook her head and laughed. her hand reached up to feed you said strawberry.

“mmm omg these are so good els try it!!” she smiled at you and took a bite.

“i did pretty good.” you both smiled at each other and spent the rest of the day in each other presence talking about anything and everything.

…

you had just came back from seeing julien and we’re in shock. you felt so much different after what she had found. she took some manual x-rays of you and found flowers growing inside of you. she knew exactly what it was and was concerned for you. hanahaki disease is what you had. it made sense, how you felt every time you saw ellie with dina. your throat closed slowly over the course of a couple of years. what concerned you most was what she had told you.

“you only have a couple of months y/n you either have us do this surgery and forget anything about ellie or get her to love you back those are your only options.”

you couldn’t believe it. you had a couple of months, two months left to either forget ellie forever or….well die. you had gotten back into your house and took your shoes off. you froze in front of the door not fully knowing what to do, you were going to die in two months how would anyone react to that?

you decided you weren’t going to spend it this way and you were going to write everyone a letter and spend your last two months with everyone you loved. once in your room you got to work.

…

it had been exactly a month since that night and ellie never got the courage to come see you again. she was worried about you but never saw you outside of your house. she would even stalk your door sometimes by her own to see if you come out. she tried to watch the gates at times to see if you were leaving on patrol when she wasn't assigned. she had gone to check the patrol sheets after a couple of weeks and you weren't even on it. ellie had gone to ask joel but all he told her was that she had asked for a different job. so her next best option was to ask maria.

"hey maria."

"oh hey ellie, want to help me feed the horses?"

"yeah of course i just need to ask you a question really quickly."

"shoot!"

"so i was wondering what job y/n had now? i just hadn't seen her on patrols..."

"she didn't tell you?"

"tell me what?"

"she's been on bed rest for the past few weeks."

"what? what happened?" she put her hand on her shoulder and led them away from everyone by the stables.

"maria what's wrong?" ellie's voice was shaky.

"she's really sick, she won't tell us what's wrong but we don't know how long she can keep this up." ellie was terrified she didn't know what to say, she had to go see you immediately. she thanked maria and ran straight for your house. she was breathing hard and the breeze was cold on her face as she ran. she felt tears running down her face. for what felt like forever she got to your house and saw joel and tommy talking outside.

"woah hey kiddo- calm down what's wrong?"

"i need to see her now." joel nodded and moved out of the way of the door.

"she's sleeping so you have to be quiet." she nodded and walked upstairs to your room. her heart was beating it felt like it was going to come out of her chest. she walked slowly up the familiar stairs she used to walk up and down everyday. her hands were shaky as she walked up the steps, nervous to see what you had looked like now. she made it towards your room and her hand was hovering over the door knob. there's no stopping now.

ellie opened the door and saw you laying on the bed, she threw her hand over her mouth, you looked almost lifeless laying there in bed. the tears in her eyes streaming down her face. she slowly made her way towards the chair at your bedside and gently grabbed your hand.

"hi honey." she paused for a second trying to keep herself together.

...

ellie was in love with you but couldn't come to terms with telling you. like every love story between two best friends, they both were scared and couldn't bare to lose each other. she took pictures of you, she took care of you when you were sick or when you had gotten hurt during patrol. she would talk about you all the time to joel and joel would proceed to tell her to just tell you that she was in love with you.

it all changed when she met dina. ellie didn't know the harm she caused you, she didn't know the damage she would cause after months. her and dina would hang out the same way you two would, except she and dina became official and you stayed on the sidelines. ellie was in love with dina and fell out of love with you. ellie still had love for you, just not enough.

she stayed with you everyday and every night after that day. you two weren't all the way back to normal but ellie was trying. she still hadn't gotten you to open up fully about what was going on but you seemed to get a little better. that was until ellie came back with dina one time to visit you, you started to feel worse and stayed in the bathroom most of the time as you threw up full flowers now and small branches. you could hear them talking about you outside and it made you feel even more sick.

"dina i'm just so worried about her."

"i know babe i'm sure she will be okay soon."

"she was just getting better....what if- fuck what if she dies dina."

"hey hey lets not think like that okay?" you could hear ellie start to softly sob and you felt terrible. how the hell were you going to tell her? you had to tell her soon.

you got up from the bathroom floor and made your way out the door. you felt so weak your legs could barely hold you up. you tried to walk back to the bed but your legs gave up on you and you fell. ellie and dina stood up immediately to attend to you. ellie grabbed you and pulled you up into her lap. you felt sleepy and delirious.

"hey hey you're okay honey." she soothed you. you felt tired.

“els…”

“i’m here it’s okay.” she sounds scared, i don’t like making her scared.

“i don’t feel good ellie.”

“i know i know dina’s getting julien stay with me okay?” you could barely see her, your eyes felt heavy. you could hear the strain in her voice. she was crying.

“it’s okay i love you so much.” was the last thing you heard before you saw all black.

…

when you passed out ellie was terrified. she was screaming for dina and joel. joel heard her from next door and ran as quick as he could. he saw her holding you and he was horrified with the scene in front of him. he helped ellie pick you up and set you on the bed after he did that julien and a couple other doctors ran into the house with dina. they rushed to your bedside and told ellie and joel to step out of the room for space.

“no no i won’t leave her alone.”

“please ellie we need space.”

“no let me stay please!” she stayed put in her chair next to you. she saw julien look up at joel and nod. joel then grabbed ellie to drag her out of the room.

“NO NO PLEASE!! LET ME STAY PLEASE!!” she screamed as joel dragged her out, as the doctors closed the door ellie stopped scrambling in his arms and turned to hug him.

“joel i can’t”

“i know i know kiddo she’ll be okay.” he soothed her as she cried. he felt his own tears form in his eyes. he loved you as his own, he didn’t want to see you go. he was so scared. they both stayed like that for what felt like forever and ellie seemed to calm down a bit so he took her downstairs and had her lay down on the couch. he knew she hadn’t gotten much sleep so he made her some tea and had her drink it to help her fall asleep. dina had come down to lay with ellie on the couch.

no words were exchanged between the three of them. just silence. until it was soft snores between all three.

…

ellie didn’t sleep much. her body wouldn’t allow her to because of the awful feeling she had in her stomach. she waited for a couple of hours till they were done. julien stayed in the room but the others sent her up to see you. she walked in and you were awake but you looked dead almost.

“hey ellie.”

“hi honey.” she was pained to see you like this.

“ellie have a seat we need to talk to you.” julien sent a small smile to ellie and pointed to the seat next to your bed. she nodded and sat down.

“is everything okay?”

“y/n has a disease called hanahaki disease. it’s a disease that is caused by unrequited love, i know it sounds silly but that’s what it is.”

“okay…” ellie looked confused she didn’t understand what julien was saying.

“the only two options she has is to get a surgery but it will make her forget all about this person, or she gets this person to fall in love with her but she doesn’t have much time. what’s going on in her body is these flowers that are growing inside of her that’s why she’s coughing up blood and she’s gotten to the point that she’s coughing up full flowers. y/n doesn’t have much time left”

ellie was shocked to say the least she didn’t know how to react and felt sick.

“so we need to get this person. who is it honey?” you and julien looked at each other and she nodded at you.

“it’s you ellie.” she felt her world come crashing down. she was the cause of this, she made you sick just because she couldn’t come to terms with being with you and fell in love with dina instead.

“get the surgery.”

“no.”

“why not! i don’t care if you forget me you aren’t dying.” you felt so sick. listening to her tell you to get the surgery instead of some miracle that she loves you was enough to get your heart racing more than it should be.

“i’m not getting the surgery ellie.”

“please you have to.” you two were sobbing together.

“i’m not ellie. im sorry.”

“no no please you can’t die i won’t let you.”

“you don’t love me ellie.” she didn’t know what to say, julien left to give you guys some space but it stayed silent. ellie didn’t say anything which made you feel worse. you weren’t going to live to see tomorrow you knew that. you were dying today and you were okay with that.

“els i don’t feel good.”

“no please you can’t be leaving me.” she yelled for julien to come back and told her to bring everyone in.

“ellie i have a letter for you. i have one for everyone.” she nodded and you told her it was on your desk.

everyone was in tears in the room. as they read their letters. you knew you wouldn’t live this one through. ellie didn’t read her letter yet she didn’t want to believe you weren’t going to be here anymore. julien took checked your heart and it was very slow you were slowly dying.

“i hate to say this but you need to say your goodbyes now.” ellie’s heart was beating a million miles a minute. they all said their goodbyes but tommy’s goodbye was one of the hardest things she’s had to see.

“hey pumpkin…i wish we had more time together i really do. i love you so much since the day we found you. you were a blessing to our family and i’m sorry we couldn’t help you. i’m sorry it had to be like this.” he had to pause because he got choked up. he kissed you on your forehead and stayed there for a little as you both cried with each other. joel had to turn the other way he couldn’t bare see this. ellie was sitting down with her hands in her hair as dina was comforting her. maria was behind tommy crying with you two.

“we love you so much and we are so proud of everything you have done. you have blessed this earth with your presence and we’re truly sorry you couldn’t keep you beautiful presence here. you truly outshined people and was a big ball of sunshine in a crowded dark room. we will miss you so much we love you pumpkin.” tommy was holding your face whole time wiping all your tears away. they both gave you a kiss on the forehead and moved over so ellie could come back.

ellie said so much without actually saying anything. you knew what she meant when she looked at you. you felt at peace and you were ready.

“i’m sorry i’m so sorry honey i love you so much and i’ll see you when i see you. i wish it didn’t have to be like this you’re my everything we have been through so much and i don’t even know what to say. i cant think of living without you. i’m sorry.” she broke down and knew it was time.

“i love you ellie please take care of yourself.” you felt your heart rate drop more and more with each word. ellie didn’t say anything but everyone knew it was time. your chest slowly stopped moving up and down. you smiled at ellie and stopped moving. julien slowly closed your eyes.

“no please. PLEASE NO!!” hearing ellie’s screams were haunting. she screamed for you to come back as she grabbed you and hugged you close to her chest. you felt so cold already and she hated how lifeless you felt as she held you. she screamed so much everyone that had left the room could still hear her and we’re devastated.

…

they had buried you with a beautiful headstone. ellie chose it. they had a candle lit for you and everyone in town came. everyone was crying as ellie, tommy and joel gave speeches about you. it was the most emotional night for everyone.

don’t know where you are right now

did you see me on TV?

i'll try not to starve myself

just because you're mad at me

and I'll be in denial for at least a little while

what about the plans we made?

…

“if we don’t find anyone when we’re older let’s just marry each other.” you told ellie. you two were sitting on the roof watching the stars.

“i like that idea i think we would be a cute old couple.” you both smiled at each other and shook on it.

“you better keep to this promise.”

“i will i don’t think anyone would be able to handle me anyways.”

…

it’s been a month since and ellie visited your grave everyday. her and dina broke up but it was mutual and dina stayed by her side for everything. ellie just wasn’t okay to stay in a relationship. she never read your letter until tonight. she was in her bed watching some movie she wasn’t fully interested in. she looked at her bedside table at the letter you gave her and she decided to read it. she opened it and unfolded the paper slowly preparing herself for what’s to come.

ellie was sobbing by the end of the letter. she can’t stand to not be with you anymore. she didn’t want to listen to you in the letter but she knows you would hate her if she didn’t. ellie had so much love you for and it was too late. she hated herself for it. ellie was still madly in love with you and she didn’t do anything about it. she felt terrible and apologized to you a million times. she didn’t want to be here anymore. she wanted to be with you. so she did.

on that day at 8:46pm the world lost another beautiful soul, but she was finally with you again.

…

a/n: WOAH this took forever because of work and i apologize but i just kinda kept going with this and i actually really love the outcome of it- i won’t lie i cried while listening to the song and writing this so hope you guys enjoy-

#ellie williams fic #ellie x you #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader

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hsangel64 · 9 months

Text

what about the plans we made?

pairings: ellie williams x bsf!reader

summary: hanahaki disease is no joke

warnings: angst angst angst, use of y/n, no happy ending whoops, suicide and death

you had seen her by the stables surprisingly not with dina so you approached and decided to ask her about a movie night.

"hey els."

"hey what's up!" you internally rolled your eyes at her, how could she be so nonchalant about seeing me after weeks.

"so we haven't had a movie night in a bit i was thinking-"

"hey babe." you were cut off with dina coming up behind ellie kissing her on the cheek. you throat felt so itchy, it was slowly starting to get harder to breathe.

"hey you ready to go?"

"woah hey kiddo you okay?" shit it's joel.

"yeah yeah i'm okay." you scrambled to get up and try to walk past joel to get home, but he stopped you.

"hey hey what's up kiddo?" you couldn't hold it in any longer and you coughed up into your hand. you tried to wipe your hand before joel saw any blood but he was quicker than you.

"what the...y/n we gotta get you to the infirmary now."

i don't wanna talk right now

i just wanna watch TV

i'll stay in the pool and drown

so I don't have to watch you leave

i put on Survivor just to watch somebody suffer

maybe I should get some sleep

sinking in the sofa while they all betray each other

what's the point of anything?

...

"hi julien."

"oh hey y/n, is there something wrong?"

"yeah i need some help."

"oh jesus joel you scared me." she jumped a little.

"hey kiddo i need to talk to you. it's important."

"uhh yeah what's up?"

"so...?"

"it's about y/n." she gave him a small look of confusion.

"what about her?"

"ellie she's sick...."

"okay maybe you can give her some medicine and maria can make her that soup! you know it always helps and feels so good when you eat it-" he stopped her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"ellie this is serious not just some cold do you know anything she ran away from me today after i asked."

"um no i don't it's only been a couple of days since we last hung out."

"it's been more than a couple of days kiddo." she let out a small laugh and looked at him confused once again.

"what do you mean we just hung out..." she thought for a second, when was the last time they'd hung out? they fell into silence for what felt like forever until joel spoke up.

"it's been months kiddo, at least from what i've seen."

"has it really..." he nodded and her head stayed towards the ground. she really couldn't believe it was that long. you two had been best friends for years and never spent a day apart, what happened?

"when i saw her today she coughed up blood...i didn't know what to do and then she ran away on me. I knocked at her door multiple times but she locked the door so i couldn't go in and check on her."

"sh-she was coughing up blood?" she was horrified and felt frantic.

"she looked really sick, her skin was pale and she looked like she had gotten a little bit skinnier."

…

“here look.” ellie showed you the picture she had taken.

“hey don’t do that!” you swatted ellie’s hand after you heard the click of the camera.

“oh! i made you something!” ellie exclaimed and grabbed a small box out of the basket you guys brought. she opened it and you gasped.

“chocolate covered strawberries?! how’d you even get the chocolate!”

“mmm omg these are so good els try it!!” she smiled at you and took a bite.

“i did pretty good.” you both smiled at each other and spent the rest of the day in each other presence talking about anything and everything.

…

“you only have a couple of months y/n you either have us do this surgery and forget anything about ellie or get her to love you back those are your only options.”

you decided you weren’t going to spend it this way and you were going to write everyone a letter and spend your last two months with everyone you loved. once in your room you got to work.

…

"hey maria."

"oh hey ellie, want to help me feed the horses?"

"yeah of course i just need to ask you a question really quickly."

"shoot!"

"so i was wondering what job y/n had now? i just hadn't seen her on patrols..."

"she didn't tell you?"

"tell me what?"

"she's been on bed rest for the past few weeks."

"what? what happened?" she put her hand on her shoulder and led them away from everyone by the stables.

"maria what's wrong?" ellie's voice was shaky.

"woah hey kiddo- calm down what's wrong?"

"i need to see her now." joel nodded and moved out of the way of the door.

"hi honey." she paused for a second trying to keep herself together.

...

"dina i'm just so worried about her."

"i know babe i'm sure she will be okay soon."

"she was just getting better....what if- fuck what if she dies dina."

"hey hey lets not think like that okay?" you could hear ellie start to softly sob and you felt terrible. how the hell were you going to tell her? you had to tell her soon.

"hey hey you're okay honey." she soothed you. you felt tired.

“els…”

“i’m here it’s okay.” she sounds scared, i don’t like making her scared.

“i don’t feel good ellie.”

“i know i know dina’s getting julien stay with me okay?” you could barely see her, your eyes felt heavy. you could hear the strain in her voice. she was crying.

“it’s okay i love you so much.” was the last thing you heard before you saw all black.

…

“no no i won’t leave her alone.”

“please ellie we need space.”

“no let me stay please!” she stayed put in her chair next to you. she saw julien look up at joel and nod. joel then grabbed ellie to drag her out of the room.

“NO NO PLEASE!! LET ME STAY PLEASE!!” she screamed as joel dragged her out, as the doctors closed the door ellie stopped scrambling in his arms and turned to hug him.

“joel i can’t”

no words were exchanged between the three of them. just silence. until it was soft snores between all three.

…

“hey ellie.”

“hi honey.” she was pained to see you like this.

“ellie have a seat we need to talk to you.” julien sent a small smile to ellie and pointed to the seat next to your bed. she nodded and sat down.

“is everything okay?”

“y/n has a disease called hanahaki disease. it’s a disease that is caused by unrequited love, i know it sounds silly but that’s what it is.”

“okay…” ellie looked confused she didn’t understand what julien was saying.

ellie was shocked to say the least she didn’t know how to react and felt sick.

“so we need to get this person. who is it honey?” you and julien looked at each other and she nodded at you.

“get the surgery.”

“no.”

“i’m not getting the surgery ellie.”

“please you have to.” you two were sobbing together.

“i’m not ellie. im sorry.”

“no no please you can’t die i won’t let you.”

“els i don’t feel good.”

“no please you can’t be leaving me.” she yelled for julien to come back and told her to bring everyone in.

“ellie i have a letter for you. i have one for everyone.” she nodded and you told her it was on your desk.

ellie said so much without actually saying anything. you knew what she meant when she looked at you. you felt at peace and you were ready.

…

don’t know where you are right now

did you see me on TV?

i'll try not to starve myself

just because you're mad at me

and I'll be in denial for at least a little while

what about the plans we made?

…

“if we don’t find anyone when we’re older let’s just marry each other.” you told ellie. you two were sitting on the roof watching the stars.

“i like that idea i think we would be a cute old couple.” you both smiled at each other and shook on it.

“you better keep to this promise.”

“i will i don’t think anyone would be able to handle me anyways.”

…

on that day at 8:46pm the world lost another beautiful soul, but she was finally with you again.

…

#Spotify #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #the last of us #ellie williams fic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #tlou fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams angst #angst

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hsangel64 · 9 months

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Protective was so good. Can't wait to see what happens next. Hope the Reader pulls through and Ellie and Joel help her in the recovery from her injuries. Also hoping Tyler gets more of an earful for his actions and that Maria doesn't give him anymore patrols in the future.

thank you !! i know it's been a bit but part 2 will be out at some point i ideally want to finish bandmates first! also tyler will absolutely get more of an earful than he got-

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hsangel64 · 9 months

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Are u gonna continue bandmates 🥺

yes i promise !! i just work all day and haven't been able to do as much as i want to but i promise part 7 will be out very soon!!!

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hsangel64 · 9 months

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very small sneak peak for this angst ! should be out by tonight !

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams fic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #tlou fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams angst #angst

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hsangel64 · 9 months

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i’m in a bit of an ellie angst mood does anyone want angst ????

#ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams fic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #tlou fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams angst

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hsangel64 · 9 months

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bandmates pt. 6

pairings: bassist!ellie williams x lead singer!reader

summary: it’s been two weeks since you and ellie have talked you’ve been staying with your friend abby in her dorm

warnings: angst if you squint, cussing, fluffy!!!

a/n: i think i have two more chapters of this and it’ll be over ! don’t worry i have more things coming !

it’s been two weeks…two fucking weeks since you’ve spoken to ellie. part of you felt like it was wrong almost, like you shouldn’t have been so dramatic. i mean you guys aren’t dating why we’re you so hurt over the fact she kissed her ex? the other part is telling you that she was shitty for what she said and she deserves to be ignored. you needed your space to think about what even happened, you felt like you had blacked out during the whole argument. you’ve been going to all your classes and even managed to sit away from ellie every class you two had together.

it’s not like ellie even tried to talk to you either so you didn’t bother. this was difficult, you two have never gone this long without talking to each other. you definitely weren’t doing well, so you decided to stay with a friend you met your freshman year. her name was abby and she was so sweet you guys just instantly clicked and made friends with each other.

…

it was freshman year orientation and you, ellie, dina and jesse were sitting on the bleachers of the gym they had on campus.

“this shit is so stupid.” dina groaned and fell into jesse.

“i don’t understand the point of orientation it seems pointless when they already send every piece of info you need to know before even coming.” you all agreed and whipped your heads to the middle to see what you assumed to be a senior starting to talk. you pretty much just tuned it out until you all had to get up. you all got sent to different groups so you were alone and a little nervous knowing you didn’t know anyone.

they said this was one of those stupid ‘say your name and one fact about you’ to get you guys to make more friends. you hated doing this shit it was pointless because you always end up not even talking to these people ever again. you pretty much just twiddled your fingers and waited for your turn.

“hello my name is y/n , i’m 18 and a fun fact about me is that i’m in a band.”

“that’s hot.” someone guy responded and high fived his friend. you rolled your eyes and looked back down.

“you guys are fuckin idiots.” a blonde girl spoke up to the boys.

“shut up abby.”

“do you want me to beat your asses again?” they whimpered away and you giggled. everyone resumed back to saying their names. you all finished and you all stayed within your groups to walk around campus and get a small tour.

“hey so you’re in a band?” you turned your head around to abby.

“oh yeah with my best friends.” you send a quick smile to her.

“that’s really cool y/n. what’s your guys band name?”

“oh it’s coastals.”

“that’s really awesome.” there was a small silence between you and just the guide was speaking.

“i’m sorry about those guys by the way, they’re both fuckin idiots. don’t ever listen to anything jordan says he’s a dumbass.”

“noted.” you both laughed and smiled at each other. you both went on with the tour saying little silly things. you all came back to the gym and they all let you go you almost immediately went to go find your friends but abby stopped you.

“hey can we trade numbers? maybe you can meet some of the rest of my friends and my boyfriend. we can possibly get coffee?”

“oh! yeah of course!” you were not expecting her to say she had a boyfriend with the little flirty comments…but you didn’t pay any mind to it and gave her your number. as you guys were trading numbers ellie comes up behind you.

“hey dina and jesse wanted to go out to eat you wanna go?” you turned around and smiled at ellie.

“yeah yeah…oh! meet abby!”

“oh, hey.”

“yeah hi.” you looked between them and waved goodbye to abby as ellie pulled you away to your friends.

…

“hey so me and owen are going out if you need anything okay?” you groggily thanked abby and heard her walk away and the door closed. you groaned and sat up rubbing the sleep from your eyes. you looked around the room realizing how quiet it is. you groan again and throw yourself onto the pillow. having abby was great but you missed your dorm, your friends, ellie.

it’s not like ellie was doing good either. what you didn’t know was the fact that ellie barely slept, she barely ate, she was a mess. dina has been trying to get her to talk to you but she chickens out every time. she doesn’t want you to run away from her, she doesn’t want to lose you.

ellie found out after the first week that you were staying with abby. she was furious, her and abby weren’t the best of friends but they played nice when you were around. they just bump heads all the time and can never stop bickering at each other. ellie didn’t want to admit it but she was jealous that you went to abby and didn’t come back to her.

yeah she knows she fucked up but she wished you just came back to the dorm. the night it happened she didn’t sleep all night waiting in her bed for you to come through the bedroom door. she cried almost all night and even made a song. music was ellie’s outlet and she needed it the most during that night. after that night she started to make a plan to talk to you again and do something to majorly apologize for what she said. she was trying to think of a grand gesture.

ellie had been planning for days and scrapping ideas over and over again until she got the perfect thing to do. the exact moment she figured it out she had been watching some movies that had some grand gestures and one of them was ‘10 things i hate about you.’ she saw heath ledger sing on the steps of the stadium. she knew it would be perfect.

she was going to do it today it was perfect, you had to be out on the field setting up for an event so she was going to do it then.

…

you were walking around the field with your clipboard instructing people on how to decorate the field. this wasn’t your job but the head of the committee fell ill and of course she asked you to take her place.

“we need to put those posters up in the bleachers there.” you kept looking down at the checklist and sighed you really didn’t want to do this but you couldn’t say no. you walked to the middle of the field to take a look at the small drawing on the paper and at what you guys have done now. you nod and make some adjustments. you stop in your tracks when you hear the overhead speakers turn on and the mic feedback.

you looked around wondering what was going on and then heard soft singing….is that? you turn and see ellie coming down from the bleachers.

“you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you

you'd be like heaven to touch

i wanna hold you so much

at long last, love has arrived

and i thank god I'm alive

you're just too good to be true

can't take my eyes off of you”

you smiled softly, you giggled and rolled your eyes at ellie. she started making her way down the bleachers, there’s no way she’s actually doing this.

“pardon the way that I stare

there's nothin' else to compare

the sight of you leaves me weak

there are no words left to speak

but if you feel like I feel

please let me know that it's real

you're just too good to be true

can’t take my eyes off of you”

she stopped hallway down the bleachers while she sang the next part of the song. you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes a little at her antics. as she sang the chorus she started dancing around the bleachers and stared at you the whole time.

“i love you, baby

and if it's quite alright

i need you, baby

to warm the lonely night

i love you, baby

trust in me when I say

oh, pretty baby

don't bring me down, I pray

oh, pretty baby

now that I've found you, stay

and let me love you, baby

let me love you”

she danced down the bleachers until she was 5 ft away from you. the music stopped and everyone started to clap and she made her way to you.

“hi bee.”

“hi els.” you smiled at her and she smiled back. you both stayed that way for a little, feeling the pressure of everyone on the field staring. you’d think in the movies this would be a lot less awkward.

“i know how silly this might be for you, but i wanted to apologize and make it worth your while. a grand gesture because i truly am sorry y/n. i really didn’t mean to make you feel the way i did that night and i’m sorry for kissing cat. i know there’s no excuse so i won’t say any. you don’t have to forgive me but can we please go back to at least being best friends again? i’ll do anything to make it up to you till the end of time. i love you bee.” you stood there staring at her mannerisms for a moment. the seconds felt like minutes and the minutes felt like hours.

you felt so conflicted and confused, but at the end of the day you will always forgive her. besides being madly in love with her she’s your best friend and will always be your person. you didn’t say anything and stepped a little closer to her so you both were now completely face to face. you both stared at each other for a second longer until you took her face in your hands and smashed your lips against hers.

ellie was caught off guard, she almost blacked out she didn’t know what was going on until her body came back to reality and returned the kiss. you both were in a sort of trance together, the world was spinning around you but you both could care less. you both drowned out the claps and whistles coming from around you. it was just you two and you couldn’t want anything more.

you were the first to pull away and you smiled up at ellie.

“so you aren’t with anderson right…” you looked at her confused.

“why would you think that?” you laughed at her assumption.

“because you guys…”

“ellie she has a boyfriend.” her eyes widened and she let out a small gasp.

“she does?!”

“i know it’s a shocker-“

“you’re tellin me.” she scratched the back of her head before speaking again. “i meant every word i said, especially the i love you.”

“i know els i promise.” you smiled up at her once again and leaned in once more for another kiss. you ended the kiss with your foreheads together.

“move back in please?”

“as long as you get me dinner.”

“anything for you.”

…

oh my god !!! i’m so sorry for delaying this for so long i had just came back from a vacation today and was dealing with song things but i’m back i promise!! i had a love hate relationship with writing this and with how it came out but i hope you enjoy !! there’s only two more chapters !!!!!

@gold-dustwomxn

#Spotify #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams fic #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #tlou fic #ellie williams x reader #ellie x you

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