honkfujoshi-blog
Headcanons, Probably
i’m trying my hardest, k
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so like if you leave a child with a fake phone or something they’d just make a conversation with some fake person asking things that they’ve heard adults say, like ‘hello yes i’m still coming for the appointment is there any rice in stock’
but my brother (my family is very british) picked up the phone and all you could hear was
“OI OI MATE THE PUB’S JUST DOWN THE ROAD I’LL ORDER SOME BEANS ON TOAST MATE SHOULDA GONE TA SPECSAVERS”
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Hetalia as things I’ve woken up and said
Italy: I’m just a sucker for sprouts
Germany: *at a sleepover* god I have no friends
Japan: DONT WORRY MUMMY ITS JUST A CLICKER GAME
America: But I don’t want Ed Sheeran to paint my toenails!
England: eD SHEERAN IS UNDER MY TABLE
France: je suis jesuis jesus
Russia: badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers badgers COMMIES COMMIES
China: the tea will calm your fingers
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How Germany Uses Satnavs
satnav: turn left
germany: oh ok then
germany: *looks to the left*
germany: here we go
germany: *drives and crashes into someone’s house*
satnav: make a u-turn
germany: righty-ho
germany: *makes a u-turn through three different rooms of the person’s house*
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Hetalia as even more things I’ve said bc I’m bored
Italy: imma raise all of you to make memes and pasta
Germany: I’m a fat potat and you’re a skinini panini
Japan: save me from the depths of hell before I scream
America: A yo-yo-yo-yo-yo, whAT time is it?!
England: *my friends* it’s half one, time for English
France: I would not be surprised if I came out gay later because I love gays and I think that’s pretty gay so I think I’m gay now
Russia: *points at baby* its cold outside
China: yes it was I who made those welshcakes!! omg you don’t like them so maybe it wasn’t me
Austria: is my love life a rondo because it keeps repeating itself - I’m getting rejected all the time
Hungary: one day you’ll get so depressed that you’ll make love to a wok in front of your ten dogs in a bungalow alone
Prussia: if I mess up this exam, you’re coming down with me in the failure because I hate you and want to see you suffer ;))
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Hetalia as more things i’ve said
Italy: *makes sexy face* i pasta way years ago
Germany: *names three potatoes* (prussia snaps one) yOu KiLlEd GeRtRuDe!!1!!!
Japan: *looks at character* I’ll do anything you, babe - I mean, I’ll do anything for you
America: (the light flickers on and makes the sound a lightsaber makes when it turns on) DOO DOO DOO DODODO DODODO
England: My food is absolutely amazing every time *takes cookies out of the oven* maybe not everytime
France: That sounds horrible! (fake tear) I won’t attend your funeral but I’ll pretend to feel sorry anyway
Russia: a spoonful of sugar? A spoonful of commies more like
China: I’ll have you know that I’m probably taller than you
Austria: My neighbours probably hate me because i keep playing für elise on the piano all day long
Prussia: WHOMST IS ELISE???
Hungary: calm your non-existent boobs, gil
Canada: Two people, chillin in the back seats, five thousand feet apart from everyone else because they don’t care
#hetalia#aph america#aph canada#aph england#aph italy#aph germany#aph russia#aph japan#aph china#aph austria#aph prussia#aph hungary#aph france
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Hetalia as things my little brother says to me
Italy: I bet that guy kicks people for a living. I bet that woman also kicks people for a living. I bet I kick people for a living. (whispering) I don’t really
Germany: I’m the strongest kid ever! (jumps on a rock) That wasn’t for you, that was for Liam
Japan: I’ll just sit right here. Help me spy on him
America: I’ll save you because I’m a boy!
England: (pulls sad face) I’m depressed because I hate you
France: Let’s build a butt with this snowball so I can lie on it
Russia: I found a spot of snow that’s warm! (looks at dog) wait
China: I’m too tired for this. You’re all older than me and I’m looking after you.
Austria: I can play the piano! (plays a C) C5. (plays a G) A flat natural
Hungary: (pulls angry face) But I’m actually a girl! And I love pink! But I still save people because I’m probably stronger than boys hahaha
Prussia: T.. A.. X.. I.. Taxeye!
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Hetalia as things I’ve said
Italy: I bet Fabio is short for fabulous since that’s what the Italians are
Germany: I make sad jokes because I’m a sad person
Japan: I aspire to wear your shirt. I really like that shirt please I want it
America: If Aaron Burr said ‘that depends, who’s asking’ when Alexander Hamilton asked his name, does that mean he could be called Jeremy if someone else asked
England: I hate this tea, but I’ll drink it anyway ‘cause I’m British
France: (slaps someone with a piece of bread) oho
Russia: The power of communism led me to burn this cookie
China: Why is everything made in China? Am I made in China?
Canada: H-Hewwo? I’d like to come in
Austria: Honey, that’s a piano. Stop feeling my piano.
Prussia: (yells theories) And that is why peanut butter is essential to the economy
Hungary: I’m the best man you’ll ever meet (you’re not a man!) I’m manlier than you
#hetalia#aphitaly#aphgermany#aphjapan#aphamerica#aphengland#aphfrance#aphrussia#aphchina#aphcanada#aphaustria#aphprussia#aphhungary#hamilton#alexander hamilton#lin-manuel miranda#broadway#hetalia headcanons
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Hetalia - Swimming
Italy: Coaxes Germany into giving him a piggy back ride
Germany: Tries his hardest to actually swim lengths, but is unable to because of a certain Italian
Japan: Is not in the pool. Will not go in the pool. No. No pool.
America: Constantly cannonballs into the pool, but not before pushing England’s drink further away from the poolside
England: Trying to reach for his drink - and can’t swim more than half a length
France: Following everyone around the pool, tries to grab hold of their feet and drag them behind him
Russia: Crying because he got wet
China: Comforting Russia, while watching everyone else to make sure they’re safe
Austria: Didn’t even show up
Hungary: Tried to drag Austria with her, but failed miserably
Prussia: Trying to compete with everyone to see how long they can hold their breath compared to his high score, 10 seconds
Spain: Threw everyone into the pool without their consent
Romano: Throwing a tantrum because Spain threw him in
S. Korea: Staring at everyone in their swimsuits from the sidelines
Taiwan: Actually got in and swam like a normal person
Hong Kong: Hangs about the side, alone, even though Japan is on the side also
Sweden: Sits on the edge, too scared to get in yet won’t admit it
Finland: Tries to teach Sweden to swim, but can’t even get him to put his big toe into the water
Denmark: Pushes Norway and Iceland in constantly
Norway: Following Iceland around
Iceland: Trying to get away from everyone and everything
The Netherlands: Complaining to the lifeguard that he can’t take his rabbits into the pool
Belgium: Wipes The Netherlands’ tears
Ukraine: Hiding, somewhere
Belarus: Wears super flashy swimsuits to get Russia’s attention
#hetalia#aph america#aph england#aph china#aph russia#aph france#aph allies#aph italy#aph germany#aph japan#axis powers#aph nordics#nordic five#aph austria#aph hungary#aph prussia#aph spain#bad touch trio#aph belarus#aph belgium#aph ukraine#aph netherlands
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