hollogramhallucination

[hollogramhallucination]

platforming palestinian joy is just as important as sharing the suffering they're enduring during this genocide. despite continued displacement and bombardment, you cannot steal their joy and spirit. happy birthday to this sweet baby 🖤🇵🇸 may they grow up to see a free palestine

[hollogramhallucination]

and on steven............. i can't even express how gross it felt to see the ways people reached to ruin his name and abuse him online. demonic behavior.

i didn't start watching watcher bc of steven, i'm gonna be honest. but his content, character, and yes, his mere influence on the company is one of the biggest reasons watcher came to be one of my favorite youtube channels.

i fell in love with steven and his content through dish granted, the way he poured in all his creative effort and know-how so that he could give his friends and loved ones a special, personalized, larger-than-life meal. i thought it was so sweet, and that show is actually one my favorites on the channel.

i still remember how impressed i was to hear steven had proposed to his now-wife with a lab-grown diamond ring, bc he intentionally wanted something more sustainable.

i remember steven's speech for his unforgettable gala award, the way he listed out the asian content creators who came before him, who shaped the space and influenced him. he carried himself with humility, respect, and reverence for the past, and i thought it was extremely admirable.

i remember the "making watcher" episode where shane and ryan outright said that steven was the reason for watcher's survival. how steven stepped up to handle the business side of things when nobody else could. of course the guy isn't a businessman. he's a creative. but he stepped away from his own passions to make sure their company could stay afloat.

and did you notice how many employees at watcher are asian? these folks are damn talented, damn good at their jobs. i don't have direct proof of this, but i just know that steven had a hand in making watcher an incredibly safe and inclusive place to work for asian folks and other minorities. and as an asian viewer, i could feel that influence in the videos. i can feel the care watcher takes to make inclusive content, to make content that feels like the people behind it care. for watcher, "asian" isn't a buzzword someone slaps onto a video to make it sound interesting. it's cultural, it's natural, it's loving. i can't explain it but i feel that distinction and it carries the same exact energy steven does in his videos.

so it was incredibly wild and surreal to have fans try their best to tear all of that down, because he misspoke in the announcement video and... he drives a tesla? i don't even have to touch on that because people know how inconsequential that is to the matter at hand. i don't know how else to make you believe that steven driving a tesla is not an indication of him being evil or an immoral level of wealthy. like be for fucking real, please.

i have never felt so disconnected with this community than i did watching people attack steven for business decisions made by multiple grown-ass people. i will never look at this community the same way i did before. i know all this time, people were jumping for a reason to villainize steven. and nobody can convince me i don't know why.

[hollogramhallucination]

“So you forgive them, just like that?”

i’ve never felt that it was a matter of forgiveness, more of if you accept to continue watching the content and creators even if you disagreed strongly with a business move and they way they presented it. if you can move past it. forgiveness would be more personal, and imply a relationship.. which isn’t the case. i think shane and ryan are great content creators, and i find their content very entertaining, they’ve taken accountability and changed the issues i had with the streamer. why wouldn’t i come back?

“they’re still money hungry, they revealed their true colors!”

they’re a business, and they have 25 employees that rely on them. of course they’re looking for profit, and expand the business. that’s what businesses do

[hollogramhallucination]

so you're just going to forgive them? and just forget? After everything?

what even the hell are you going on about?

and to answer your question, yes. because i'm an adult person in my 20s. also, i've been an insensitive idiot before so I know how easy it is to do. ALSO, I like to protect my peace and their videos make me happy.

they saw the backlash. they apologized and made a compromise, so what is there to be mad about? i do not hold people i do not know to high standards. i expect them to take accountability when they do something wrong and apologize. WHICH THEY DID.

that's all.

[hollogramhallucination]

Adding on to this:

It is fascinating watching people go full McKinsey/BCG/Bain on Watcher. A lot of basic consulting reccomendations are:

- lower quality to cut costs

- fire your staff to cut costs

- accept making less than what would make you middle class to cut costs. f:ck any desire to afford children, quality medical care, quality food, quality housing, and retirement to cut costs.

- move to a cheaper area that people actively try to escape due to politics, racism, weak public education, weak infrastructure, a lack of walkable spaces, weak public transportation, etc. to cut costs

- ignore any need for creative fulfillment, development, and experimentation to cut costs

--

This is a poorly executed and marketed business decision.

That does not make it acceptable to wish bankruptcy and financial instability on people. That does not justify the personal attacks, which have veered into racism at times, directed towards the Watcher staff.

They can make art/content and ask to be paid a certain amount for it. You can choose not to pay. In the same way that they should not insult you for not paying, you should not insult them for wanting to be paid more. You can criticize them without making personal attacks and wishing bankruptcy on them.

Okay but watcher originally wasn’t going to leave the old videos up. Like that is something that they backtracked on and are trying to gaslight people about. They did an interview with Variety where they told them that they were going to slowly remove their content from YouTube.

I’m trying to figure out if you’re footstamping at me or what, but babe it’s not worth it.

they’re going to do with their videos what they deem they need to bc they’re not actually our weird friends and we don’t know them like that, they’re guys who make video series who are trying to figure out how to keep a studio afloat in a landscape currently dominated by media conglomerates owned by people like jeff bezos. that is the cut and dry of it. yeah, they probably changed their minds and reversed their earlier decision, but if anything the way people are frothing at the mouth about losing their ~comfort content~ (which. yikes don’t get me started), one would think that would be a relief.

look, I had a whole essay here but I have shit to do so, short version: watcher could have strategized and rolled this whole thing out differently, and who knows, maybe more things will change. maybe they’ll change their content output schedule for their own channel. maybe they’ll add shows or cut , or re-scale for international viewer accommodation. I’d hate to be their PR person right now. but it is what it is. if you can’t pay them, don’t. do not subscribe. literally no one is forcing you. if you wanna see their stuff that badly, find someone who can and password share. they literally said it was fine.

cards on the table, I don’t even know if I’ll be getting a sub until October, or at all, bc I’m a grad student and I have bills. but I’m not about to sit here and act betrayed and hope they fail a. because I’m an adult who understands that no matter the size of the staff, providing employee benefits and insurance costs money, as does making any kind of for-fun content in our current hellscape, and b. it’s kind of shitty to watch people turn around and act like a media company is their friends personally stabbing them in the back and betraying some grand marxist ethos when it’s literally just people who don’t have things like mousecorp and netflix behind them trying to make their shit on their own terms. I’m not going to sit here and pretend they’re some rich greedy corpos trying to wring money out of us poor broke smol beans out of malice when they’re not even in the same ballpark. they’re allowed to ask to be paid for their time and their labor. if people can’t pay them, then they can’t pay them, end of. some things we just have to go without and that’s just how it shakes out; there are worse and more critical things I could be missing out on that I will be paying that money for instead.

but I’m not about to insist their stuff be free forever because ~I want it~. because that’s not what it comes down to, in the system that we currently operate and exist under. I’m not entitled to their shit like that and frankly no one is.

watching people openly hope they crash and burn bc it won’t be free anymore just makes me chalk it up to one more shitty example of how consumer culture has just made people not think about how stuff is made as long as they can get that instant gratification, but like. water is wet, news at 11.

#watcher #steven lim #ryan bergara #shane madej #watcher streaming

[hollogramhallucination]

watching people go full McKinsey/BCG/Bain on Watcher is fascinating

a lot of basic consulting reccomendations are

- lower quality to cut costs

- fire your staff to cut costs

- accept making less than what would make you middle class to cut costs. f:ck any desire to afford children, quality medical care, quality food, quality housing, and retirement to cut costs.

- move to a cheaper area that people actively try to escape due to politics, racism, weak public education, weak infrastructure, a lack of walkable spaces, weak public transportation, etc. to cut costs

#watcher #steven lim #ryan bergara #shane madej #i saw someone say they should move somewhere like indiana to make it more affordable. as someone who has lived in CA and IN #they would literally be better off shutting down Watcher and finding different jobs in order to stay in CA

[hollogramhallucination]

Okay but watcher originally wasn’t going to leave the old videos up. Like that is something that they backtracked on and are trying to gaslight people about. They did an interview with Variety where they told them that they were going to slowly remove their content from YouTube.

I’m trying to figure out if you’re footstamping at me or what, but babe it’s not worth it.

they’re going to do with their videos what they deem they need to bc they’re not actually our weird friends and we don’t know them like that, they’re guys who make video series who are trying to figure out how to keep a studio afloat in a landscape currently dominated by media conglomerates owned by people like jeff bezos. that is the cut and dry of it. yeah, they probably changed their minds and reversed their earlier decision, but if anything the way people are frothing at the mouth about losing their ~comfort content~ (which. yikes don’t get me started), one would think that would be a relief.

look, I had a whole essay here but I have shit to do so, short version: watcher could have strategized and rolled this whole thing out differently, and who knows, maybe more things will change. maybe they’ll change their content output schedule for their own channel. maybe they’ll add shows or cut , or re-scale for international viewer accommodation. I’d hate to be their PR person right now. but it is what it is. if you can’t pay them, don’t. do not subscribe. literally no one is forcing you. if you wanna see their stuff that badly, find someone who can and password share. they literally said it was fine.

cards on the table, I don’t even know if I’ll be getting a sub until October, or at all, bc I’m a grad student and I have bills. but I’m not about to sit here and act betrayed and hope they fail a. because I’m an adult who understands that no matter the size of the staff, providing employee benefits and insurance costs money, as does making any kind of for-fun content in our current hellscape, and b. it’s kind of shitty to watch people turn around and act like a media company is their friends personally stabbing them in the back and betraying some grand marxist ethos when it’s literally just people who don’t have things like mousecorp and netflix behind them trying to make their shit on their own terms. I’m not going to sit here and pretend they’re some rich greedy corpos trying to wring money out of us poor broke smol beans out of malice when they’re not even in the same ballpark. they’re allowed to ask to be paid for their time and their labor. if people can’t pay them, then they can’t pay them, end of. some things we just have to go without and that’s just how it shakes out; there are worse and more critical things I could be missing out on that I will be paying that money for instead.

but I’m not about to insist their stuff be free forever because ~I want it~. because that’s not what it comes down to, in the system that we currently operate and exist under. I’m not entitled to their shit like that and frankly no one is.

watching people openly hope they crash and burn bc it won’t be free anymore just makes me chalk it up to one more shitty example of how consumer culture has just made people not think about how stuff is made as long as they can get that instant gratification, but like. water is wet, news at 11.

[hollogramhallucination]

Ok y’know what yeah I’m mad about this. I’m mad that people are being so fucking hateful towards the Watcher crew over this, like they owe you something. I’m mad that people are apparently dogpiling on Steven as if Ryan and Shane have no say in a company that the three of them made together as friends. I’m mad that people are acting like Watcher is now the same as Netflix or Spotify when password sharing is being actively encouraged and not everything is being locked behind the paywall - not to mention that watcher has a staff of less than 30 people at this point. I’m mad that there are actually people who want this to FAIL. I’m mad that you all seem to think art should be free. What is wrong with all of you? Being a little disappointed or frustrated is obviously okay, but some of the stuff some of you guys are saying is straight up wicked, racist, and unnecessary. Grow up, touch grass, and remind yourselves that the universe doesn’t revolve around you. There are more important things to be this upset about, so try to use your energy on those things instead, you fucking toddlers.

[hollogramhallucination]

i can’t find it but. once again thinking about that post about how people think cathy is selfish and narcissistic for thinking she can marry and still have another person that she loves but instead she correctly understands marriage is about ownership and property while love to her is something else completely different. only take on her ever

[hollogramhallucination]

I found Sejanus annoying. Why do you think the Capitol, specifically Gaul, would ever broadcast those antics in the arena? It's obvious that they would lie to cover it up. Why are you plotting with the lying, unfaithful, almost-got-lucygrey-murdered-by-being-a-selfish-cheating-dumbass ex-boyfriend of your friend's girlfriend? Especially if that friend has previously murdered someone?

Personally, I understand why Coriolanus disliked Sejanus. He was naive, privileged, and self righteous to the point of endangering others. You can be a person with good moral and ethics, but still be all of what I just described.

#he was dumb as hell #that plan was never going to succeed #sejanus plinth #sejanus #coriolanus snow #coriolanus #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

[hollogramhallucination]

There's this intense rage that boils in me whenever I see a Israel supporter or 'anti genocide but pro-jewish state' person talk about safety post-holocaust.

It always reminds me that despite our soldiarity, our shared traumatic history, most are still never going to understand the reality of colorism.

"Yes what Israel is doing is bad but jewish people deserve their own state/Israel because white countries aren't safe! What about our safety!"

People care about your state because you're a tool. Because you're, as multiple israeli officials have put it throughout the decades, "civilization surrounded by beasts' and 'a beacon of the west in the jungle'.

Fucking ignoring the Rroma who are and have been living through your exact nightmare. And people don't care, because we're brown. There's no outrage when people sterilize Rroma, when we are murdered and racially targeted and destroyed all over Europe. And one of the big reasons? Color.

We are living examples of what happens when you can't be used to expand western ideals. When you are left loose post holocaust. And despite all this, I still don't fucking support Israel. My family, my culture, my identity destroyed by the holocaust and the white countries after it. I'm living proof of the terror. And despite it all, I know that I would never be fucking okay with any of this done in my name. I would never be okay with any actions done to this day by Israel. I would never want a fucking ethnostate.

Where are those who were born in Israel supposed to go, you ask? Not my fucking problem. I don't have solutions. But I do know that anyone who supports an ethnostate is not an ally or a friend of mine.

Every headline I see that dehumanizes Palestinian death, it reminds me of my people. Of how we're the ones tossed to the side. Ignored. Forgotten.

I will not accept that happening to others.

[hollogramhallucination]

musings on hands

— ocean vuong, yves pires, berenice abbott, jean-baptiste carpeaux, auguste rodin, james croak, gian lorenzo bernini, david altmejd, roland faunte

[hollogramhallucination]

names not numbers

The Palestinian Ministry of Health released a report on Thursday, including the names of more than seven thousand Palestinians who were martyred in the Israeli bombing of the Gaza Strip.

Red color highlights 0-4 years old age group

Green color highlights age group 5-17

White color highlights the age group between 18 and 59 years old

Gray color highlights the age group over 60

These are not just names, but people killed in the midst of a brutal war. Remember their names.

(Designed by @georgedeebstudios on insta)

[hollogramhallucination]

அவள் எப்படி எனை மறந்தால் 🥀 (how could she forget me?)

#nanditha #nandini x aditha

[hollogramhallucination]

NanDitha - Death

Oddly enough, many of the characters in the book discuss death a number of times- mainly Vanathi and Nandhini, I believe. But Nandhini and Karikalan seem to share the same sentiments about it.

The other can not die at another's hand.

They shall not live if the other is dead.

Karikalan says this to Parthibendran in book one when the latter offers to kill Nandini for him:

"Either she will kill me, or I shall kill her and then myself."

This sentiment is later echoed by Nandini in her conversation with Ravidasan prior to Kadambur:

"No Ravidasa, not at all. [Veerapandiyan's] spirit is with me all the time. It appeared before me a few minutes ago and asked me whether I was going to fulfill my vow."

"What was your answer, Devi?"

"I told him I will fulfill my vow today or else I will kill myself."

"We came here at the right time, Devi. What is the point in killing yourself at the last moment? We should succeed in our mission. So if you can't do it..."

"Who told you so?" I will fulfill my vow and then kill myself."

Ravidasan tries to convince her otherwise, saying they must plan a coronation for Amurabujangan. Nandhini is stubborn:

"You take care of that. My task will be over tonight. And so will be my life."

Ravidasan and her move on to discuss other things, and after a while, he says that they want to take her with them safely once the vow is complete. Her thoughts do not seem to have changed:

"I am sure my plan will work without any glitch. Once the vow is fulfilled I don't want to live."

So it seems both of them had planned to die together that night. However, due to the nature of Karikalan’s death, it can be assumed Nandini stayed alive for another fifteen years to reveal the truth behind his death- once that was complete, she finally passed away, all things in her life coming to a neat finish. Her body no longer had any purpose to keep living. So it gave out. In fact, it can be presumed that she DID commit suicide, or at least didn't take care of herself well enough to live as she would have only been 37 at the time of her death.

Thoughts?

@harinishivaa @thelekhikawrites @hollogramhallucination @chiyaanvikram @thegleamingmoon @whippersnappersbookworm @rang-lo @curiousgalacticsoul @rapunzels-stuff @ragkee @nspwriteups @sowlspace @willkatfanfromasia @sakhiiii

[hollogramhallucination]

Nandini reminiscencing about her broken dreams

[hollogramhallucination]

Nandini and Pazhuvettarayar - Consensual or not?

Okay, so originally, I thought Nandhini seduced Pazhuvettarayar- but we only hear that from Karikalan and Kundavai, both of whom try to convince themselves that everything is her fault because of their own guilt. Nandini seemed to have sought asylum with him - then there was a marriage.

Pazhuvettarayar CLAIMS they love each other, but we can't take his words as proof. Nandhini's scared of this man raping her, as we can see.

Parthibendran tells AK that most princes do not get hung up on priests' daughters. If they like her, they "drag her by the hair and marry her". He then goes on to say that that's what PP did.

At the moment, PB is the least biased. And he says it so-

I'm not sure Nandini's marriage to PP was 100% consensual.

It could be consensual in the sense that Nandini agreed to be his wife, but remember, he thinks Nandini is an orphan. He is the Chancellor. It's highly unlikely she could refuse Pazhuvettarayar anyway. Especially being orphaned and poor.

Thoughts?

@harinishivaa @thelekhikawrites @hollogramhallucination @chiyaanvikram @thegleamingmoon @whippersnappersbookworm @rang-lo @curiousgalacticsoul @rapunzels-stuff @ragkee @nspwriteups @sowlspace @willkatfanfromasia