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Tiny Toes: Part 7 - Cassian x Reader

Hi! It's been awhile and I'm so so so sorry for not posting anything the past few weeks. I've made this part extra long to make up for the wait but have honestly been feeling a little off with my writing at the moment so bear with me while I get back into it 🥰

Also, writing this while being in the middle of an endo flare up was incredibly therapeutic!

Summary: Reader gets her period + Ottie being a menace + family time + fluffy Cassian/reader moments

Word Count: 4.5k

You can read the previous part here

A sharp, stabbing pain tore you from your sleep and had you quickly sitting up in bed as you let out a quiet cry of pain. “Fuck,” you murmured to yourself as you sluggishly pushed the sheets off your too-hot body, mindful of not disturbing Cassian who was fast asleep and softly snoring beside you.

On shaky legs you managed to get yourself to the bathroom, carefully closing the door before turning to look at yourself in the mirror. Wincing at your reflection, you took in the dark circles under your eyes, the pasty, clammy complexion of your skin as you leant heavily against the counter, suddenly overcome by another shot of pain. Turning on the faucet, you splashed your face with the cool stream of water, a momentary reprieve before that unbearable pain made itself known and you found yourself crumbling to the floor, legs unable to keep you upright. The cold tiles offered some comfort as your curled in on yourself and despite knowing that a hot bath would help with the pain, you couldn’t bring yourself to move.

*****

“Y/N?” The sudden call of your name had you jerking awake and blearily blinking up at the bathroom ceiling. The momentary confusion was swept away by the onset of another throbbing cramp that had you squeezing your eyes tightly shut as you breathed through your nose.

“Y/N? Are you in her– Y/N! What happened? What’s wrong?” The comfort of Cassian kneeling beside you and pulling you into his warm body did little to alleviate the pain coursing through you. You desperately held onto his arms as you leant against him, breathing heavily as you waited for the current cramp to subside. You focused on the soothing rise and fall of his chest and the way his fingers softly caressed over your skin before pulling back slightly to look up at his concerned face and offer a small smile that you were sure was more of a grimace.

“I’m fine,” your voice was hoarse and utterly unconvincing judging by the quirked eyebrow Cassian raised at you. “Really, it’s nothing. Just my cycle…” you trailed off as another wave of pain took over. You slumped against Cassian who let out a tut of concern as his fingers wove through your hair, pushing the strands away from your sweaty forehead.

“What do you need?” Cassian asked after a few moments when he felt your body finally relax against him. Shifting so that your face was buried in the crook of his neck you let out a small sigh, snuggling in closer when you felt the press of his lips against the top of your head.

“To be knocked unconscious for the next week.” Cassian’s huff of a laugh caused a small smile to tug at your lips as you let out another sigh against the pain.

“Well I won’t be helping you with that, so how about I run you a bath instead?”

“Fine,” you grumbled as Cassian helped you to your feet and gently lifted you up to sit on the counter, leaving you with a kiss, before he went about filling the bathtub with hot water and soothing oils.

“There, how’s that?” he asked, guiding you over to the steaming tub and helping you peel off your pyjamas.

“Perfect,” you replied as you let the hot water envelop you, “you’re perfect.” You reached out to grab his hand, pressing a grateful kiss to the back of it as you sunk further into the warmth, breathing in deeply as the smell of the oils filled your senses.

You grinned at the soft tinge of pink that spread over Cassian’s cheeks at your words, but he just shot you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek then the top of your head. The moment was short lived, however, as another cramp took hold.

“What else can I do?” Cassian’s words were laced with helplessness as he sat on the edge of the bathtub, staring down at you with worry etched across his face. You remained silent, willing the pain to pass as you held onto his hand like a lifeline and stared into the swirls of the water around you.

“I don’t know. Maybe… maybe just a cup of tea? One of Madja’s teas that helps with the pain? It’s in the cupboard –”

“In the cupboard next to the window, right at the back of the shelf in the brown jar. Don’t worry, I remember from last time. What else?” He asked almost desperately. You blinked up at him, the attentiveness and thoughtfulness of the male in front of you still managed to take your breath away even though it should no longer be a surprise to you.

“Other than joining me?” you gave him a mischievous grin, scrunching your nose up and laughing as he flicked water at you with a smirk. “Honestly though, this is enough. More than enough, thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” he said softly, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I’ll be right back with your tea, okay? Let me sort a few things out for today, then if Ottie is still sleeping, we’ll see about me joining you. Although, with her track record of interrupting us lately, she’ll be awake the second I get in.”

You laughed at the disappointment in his voice; he wasn’t wrong though. Lately Ottie had seemed to pick up the habit of walking in or making herself known just as things were getting heated, luckily, she was too young to understand what was going on and was seemingly oblivious to the two of you spluttering and jumping apart.

But shit. Now that your mind had trailed to the young Illyrian sleeping soundly down the hall, you remembered the plans you had made with her for today and knew you would have to cancel given your current state. Biting your lip in worry, you missed Cassian returning, steaming mug of tea in hand.

“Here you go. Oh, sweetheart…” you looked up at the concern in his voice as he took in your troubled expression. “Drink this, hopefully it kicks in soon and takes away some of the pain.”

“It’s not that,” you explained, gratefully taking the mug from him with a soft smile. “I just remembered, Ottie and I were meant to go into the city today. We’ve had the whole day planned out for weeks.”

“And why wasn’t I invited?” he teasingly quipped, though you knew he was somewhat serious about missing out on time with the two of you. “Or is this a mummy-daughter bonding day?” The grin on his face matched the one that spread across your own at his words; Ottie had been calling you mummy for the better part of three months now and your heart still skipped a beat every single time, Cassian also couldn’t contain his grin and the look of love and adoration that spread across his face whenever he heard it.

“You weren’t invited because you have work today –”

“Had work. I just spoke with Rhys and have the rest of the week off.”

“Cass…”

“Don’t tell me I didn’t need to; I wasn’t going to leave you alone like this, love.”

You smiled softly at his words, heart pounding in your chest as you gently cupped his face and pulled him down into a kiss.

“Thank you,” you kissed him once more before letting him sit back up against the edge of the bathtub. “But what I was going to say was, you had work today so we thought it would be the perfect time to go shopping for your birthday next week. No, don’t groan about it. You went all out for my birthday so of course I’m going to do the same.”

Cassian glared down at you, and you stared right back up at him with a smug grin, “I’m over 540 years old, sweetheart, you do know that, right? We really don’t need to be celebrating at this point.”

“Okay, sure. But how many of those birthdays did I have with you? How many did Ottie? Don’t pout over the fact that we love you and want you to feel special.”

“The fact that you both love me is enough–”

“Then consider everything else we have planned for you as a bonus.”

Cassan stared you down, letting out a sigh when he realised there would be no changing your mind. “Fine. But only because I love you.”

Your smile was short lived as another cramp coursed through you, causing your breath to catch as your eyes squeezed tightly shut in response. Cassian ran a tentative hand through your hand, doing his best to sooth you and offer some form of comfort.

“Come on, lean forward and I’ll help you wash your hair, then I’m taking you back to bed so you can sleep.” A hum was the only response you could offer as you did your best to will away the pain by focusing on the feeling of Cassian’s fingers rubbing the lavender scented shampoo through your hair.

“We’ll have a bath later?” you asked in a quiet voice as Cassian finished helping you rinse out the conditioner, hands trailing down to rub soothing circles into the tight muscles along your shoulders and back.

“Anything you want, sweetheart,” he replied, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder before helping you stand and climb out of the bath, a fresh, fluffy towel at the ready.

Once you had dried off, Cassian helped you into some clean pyjamas then led you back to bed. He climbed in first before gesturing for you to sit between his legs so that he could brush out your hair. The feeling of his body embracing you and with the constant warmth that seemed to radiate from him, you were quick to relax against him, content in having him simply holding you as you drifted back to sleep.

*****

Once he sensed that you were asleep, Cassian shifted you both so that you were laying down against the pillows, his arms wrapping around you as he did his best to massage your stomach in hopes of alleviating some of the pain without waking you. He let out a sigh, feeling completely useless as he took note of the slight grimace that tainted your soft features, even as you slept.

Cassian quickly found himself dozing off, the comforting and familiar scent of your shampoo lulling him into an easy, but short lived, sleep. A sudden commotion sounded from down the hall and had Cassian lifting his head, careful not to disturb you as you shifted further into the blankets. He slowly pulled away from you, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead as he quietly walked over to the door, closing it behind him with a soft click.

“Morning, daddy,” Ottie cheerfully called out to him from where she stood by the stairs, “want to see what I’ve been practicing?”

If he hadn’t been so worried about you, Cassian would have taken a second to think about what Ottie could have been practicing by the stairs, what could have caused the commotion he had heard. Instead, with a hesitant glance towards the bedroom door, he absentmindedly answered, “go on then, princess,” and watched in horror as Ottie all but threw herself down the stairs.

“OTTIE!”

Cassian couldn’t remember a time he had moved so fast in his life as he bounded after her. With all the years of standing against multiple enemies, fighting across multiple battlefields, not once had his heart stopped as it did in that moment, utter, undiluted fear coursing through his veins.

But the delighted giggles that sounded from his daughter broke through that fear as he watched from halfway down the stairs as Ottie flung her wings out and landed with a soft thud at the bottom of the stairs.

Cassian stared at her, frozen to the spot before lowering himself down to sit on the steps, his heart hammering rapidly in his chest as he placed his head in his hands and drew in a deep breath.

“Ottie?” he could hear the strain in his voice.

“Yes, daddy?”

“Promise me,” he started, looking at her as she tiled her head to the side in curiosity, “that, under no circumstances, will you ever do that again.”

“But –”

“No buts. You will not do that again.”

“But mummy will like it, she will want to see it.” Ottie stared back at him, a defiant expression on her face as she crossed her arms.

“No, princess, she will not. New rule, no more flying inside, alright? Or there will be no more lessons for the next four weeks. Including lessons from Uncle Rhys and Uncle Az.” He sternly added when she opened her mouth to argue back.

“Fine,” she finally agreed but Cassian could clearly hear the resentment in her tone. “Don’t you have work today? You’re going to be late.”

He raised an eyebrow at his daughter. Was she trying to coax him out of the house?

“I did but I’m staying home today. Mummy isn’t feeling well,” he explained while ushering her into the kitchen to get a start on breakfast.

“Oh,” Ottie climbed up onto one of the bench stools and waited for Cassian to pass her a plate of toast and a glass of orange juice.

“What’s wrong with her?” she asked between a mouthful of food.

Cassian gave her a look, knowing he was in no position to lecture, but nevertheless, “don’t talk with your mouth full, Otts.”

Making a show of swallowing the mouthful of toast she had been talking around, Ottie cleared her throat then repeated, “what’s wrong with mummy? We were meant to go into Velaris to buy you a – we were going to do something today.” Ottie quickly cut herself off, eyes going wide upon realising she had almost ruined the birthday surprise the two of you had planned for him.

“There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just got her cycle,” you and Cassian had decided to be completely open about these topics whenever they came up, Cassian was just scared he might stumble with this one without you there to help guide it.

“What’s a cycle?”

“A cycle happens every couple of months to grown females, they bleed for a few –”

“Mummy’s bleeding? She’s hurt?” Ottie’s wide eyes stared back and forth between Cassian and the doorway, as though debating whether to run up and check on you herself.

“No, no, no, princess. Mummy isn’t hurt, alright? It’s normal to bleed during your cycle, and it’s only a little bit. It’s the bodies way of getting ready to have a baby if–”

The excited squeal that Ottie let out had Cassian stopping mid-sentence, staring at her intently as he tried to work out what was running through her head.

“So, mummy has a cycle right now?” she clumsily asked. Cassian nodded, taking a sip of juice as he leant against the counter. “So, that means there’s a baby in her tummy?” And the sip of juice Cassian had just taken was now being spluttered across said counter.

“No, Ottie, that’s not what that means. It’s just the bodies way of…” but Cassian could tell Ottie wasn’t hearing a word of it as she kicked her feet excitedly.

“So, I’m going to have a little brother or a little sister?”

“No, Ottie, mummy isn’t pregnant, alright?” The scare you had a few weeks ago, followed up by an appointment with Madja and a stronger contraceptive made sure of that. “There’s no baby in her tummy.”

“Oh,” Cassian couldn’t help the slight ache in his heart at the dejected look that darkened Ottie’s excited expression. “But one day she might be?”

“Maybe…” the two of you hadn’t really spoken about having a child together, but now that the idea had been planted, Cassian couldn’t help but let his mind wander at the thought.

“Good because I want to be like Nyx.”

“What do you mean you want to be like Nyx?”

“You know, with a little brother or a little sister.”

Well, that was news.

“Nyx is going to have a little brother or sister, is he? And how do you know that?”

“Because he told me. He said that he heard his mummy and daddy talking about wanting to have another baby.”

Cassian found himself grinning at the thought, tucking away that snippet of information to share with you once you were awake and for when he next saw Rhys.

“Can I go and see mummy now?” Ottie asked in a tentative tone.

“She’s sleeping at the moment, princess. Let’s let her rest for now, okay? Then later in the day when she’s feeling better we can go up for cuddles.”

*****

You shifted against the plush mattress as a stream of afternoon sunlight snuck through the crack in the curtains, but it was the quiet patter of footsteps that had stirred you from your sleep. Sluggishly, you lifted your head to look towards the bedroom door where a small, winged frame was silhouetted against the light coming in through the hallway.

With a soft smile tugging at your lips, you whispered out into the dark room, “Hi, Ottie.”

“Hi, mummy,” she replied in a hesitant voice. “Daddy said I couldn’t see you until later once you had rested, but it’s been a long time now…”

“Do you want to come up here?” you asked, heart softening at the eager nod you got in return as Ottie scrambled up the bed to snuggle in beside you. “I’ve missed you today. Sorry we couldn’t go into the city to get daddy’s birthday presents.”

“That’s okay. Daddy told me about your cycle…,” she made an effort to really enunciate the word, causing a smile to spread across your face as you held back a laugh, “…and that you’re bleeding and that you’re not having a baby, yet.”

“Well, I’m still sorry we couldn’t have our day out together. I would’ve much preferred that than being stuck in bed all day.” You replied, choosing to actively ignore her comment about not having a baby yet. Ottie hummed in agreement, shifting so that she could curl up against your side, your arm wrapping around her to hold her close as she rested her head against the crook of your neck.

“What did you get up to today?” you asked in a whisper, not wanting to break the silent trance that had fallen over the room.

“I painted like Auntie Feyre showed me. And I helped daddy make lunch and then we played some games. He’s doing some work in his office, so I tip-toed past him because I wanted to see you,” she whispered back, lowering her voice even further as she explained how she managed to deceive Cassian. “Daddy was really worried about you today and kept coming up here to check on you, so I thought I would look after you while he’s busy working.”

“Well, I’m already feeling much better thanks to your cuddles.” Ottie grinned at you in delight, pressing a sloppy kiss to your check before continuing to tell you all about her day.

“Oh,” she exclaimed as though remembering something important, “Daddy also said there’s a new rule: no more flying inside. I don’t think he was very happy with me.” You stifled another laugh at the voice she put on when reciting Cassian’s new rule.

“And why wasn’t he happy with you?”

“I don’t know…”

“Ottie…”

“Because I jumped down the stairs,” she quickly said, the words muffled against your shoulder as she cuddled even closer to you.

“More like threw yourself down the stairs before catching yourself at the last minute,” Cassian’s stern tone had you both looking up to find him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. You glanced at Ottie, who was looking at her dad with a guilt-ridden expression, before turning back to Cassian who nodded in confirmation.

“So, the new rule,” he continued, making his way over to the bed and sitting on the edge beside you, “no more flying inside, or else…”

“…or else there will be no flying lessons for four weeks.” Ottie mumbled back.

“Exactly,” he fixed Ottie with a look before his eyes trailed over your face in concern.

“I’m fine, Cass.”

“She is,” Ottie started, speaking up before Cassian could say anything. “She said my cuddles made her feel better. Right, mummy?”

“It’s true,” you smiled, bopping her on the nose as you turned back to face Cassian. “Her cuddles are truly magical.”

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be then if I’m up against magical cuddles, but is there room for one more in there?”

“What do you think, Otts? Should we move over? Make some room for daddy?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know!” Cassian exclaimed in faux offence, leaning across you to tickle Ottie as she tossed against your side to get away from him, fits of her infectious laughter filling the room.

“What about if he comes back with a cup of tea for me? Can he join us then?”

Ottie fixed a contemplative look on her face, struggling to hold back a grin as she eyed Cassian up and down.

“How about, I make mummy a cup of tea that will make her feel better, and throw in two of our special hot chocolates? How does that sound?”

“Deal.” You watched on in amusement as Ottie stretched out her small hand, Cassian taking it in his as they shook in agreement.

“Deal,”

“Come on then. I need my chocolate taste tester with me if I’m going to be making special hot chocolates.” Ottie scrambled out of your arms and ran out the bedroom door. Cassian turned to you, looking as though he was about to say something before, “Ottie! Remember to–”

“I know. Walk, don’t fly. You already told me.” Her little voice echoed back, followed by the resounding thump of disgruntled footsteps as she walked down the stairs.

Cassian shut his eyes, an exhausted expression taking hold before looking back at you with a soft smile.

“Kids, hey?” you teased, both of you listening to Ottie making the final stomp down the stairs.

“Kids,” he repeated with a shake of his head. “gotta be crazy to want them.”

You hummed in response, the silence settling between you both for a second too long as you nestled back against the pillows.

“You sure you’re feeling alright?” Cassian asked, tucking some stray strands of hair away from your face.

“Yeah, just a bit sore, but not as bad as this morning.”

“Good,” he leant down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, pulling back a bit to gently cup your face before pressing his lips against yours. “I’ll be back. Do you need anything else while I’m downstairs?”

Shaking your head with a small, content smile, you quickly reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face back down to yours for another kiss before whispering, “thank you.”

“I already told you, no need to thank me.” He replied with a wink before making his way out the door.

You let out a sigh as you drag yourself out from underneath the sheets, stretching as you make your way over to the other side of the room to open up the curtains and the window, letting in the fresh afternoon air.

“Ottie,” You stilled as Cassian’s voice echoed up from the kitchen. “What did I say about flying inside?”

“I was helping you! You asked me to get the chocolate, I couldn’t reach it, now I can…” You couldn’t help the laugh you let out as you pictured what was currently happening downstairs.

*****

Ten minutes later Cassian and Ottie returned, one steaming mug of tea and two hot chocolates between them that were all placed carefully against the bedside table. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Ottie exclaimed before racing out of the room.

Cassian sat beside you, hiding his face against your neck with a groan as he mumbled, “she is going to be the death of me.” You stretched your arm up so that your hand could trail through his hair.

“She’s growing up.”

“And she’s already a handful. She’s lucky that I love her…” he joked as Ottie walked back into your bedroom, arms loaded with soft toys and books that were place at the end of your bed.

“These always make me feel better, so I thought they might help you too,” Ottie explained with a shrug as she passed you her favourite teddy bear.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Alrighty, now that we’re all here,” Cassian said with a pointed look at Ottie’s pile of toys, causing a giggle to escape her as she settled down beside you. “One tea for you.”

“Thanks, Cass.” You said, taking the mug from him and smiling at the wink he shot your way.

“And one special hot chocolate for you.” He said, carefully handing the mug to Ottie before settling in on your other side and draping the blankets snuggly across the three of you.

“Thanks, Cass.” Ottie copied you with a cheeky grin that looked identical to Cassian’s.

“No, nuh-uh, nope,” Cassian leant forward to round on Ottie who was giggling from the safety that came from you being between them both. “You, missy, you do not call me that.”

“Why not…Cass?” she repeated.

“Because,” he looked at you for backup, eyes widening in betrayal when he found you stifling your own laughter. “Because you’re my little girl, that’s why.”

Before Ottie could jump in again, you cut her off, “I think what your dad is trying to say, is that you calling him by his name, instead of daddy, is making him feel old. He is turning 544 next week, you know.” You teased in a conspiratorial voice, nudging Cassian’s side as he scoffed and leant back against the pillows.

“So much for making me feel loved and special,” he jokingly muttered, referring back to the birthday conversation the two of you had that morning.

With a gentle nudge to Ottie’s side, you gave her a look that had her letting out an over-dramatic sigh, “I’m sorry, daddy. Sorry for making you feel old.” There was no chance of holding back your laugh at her words, especially when Cassian simply shook his head in defeat as he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you tightly against him.

Back in the warmth and comfort of his arms, with Ottie nestled in tight on your other side, you found yourself relaxing further into the mattress as the effects of the tea took hold. The soothing rise and fall of Cassian’s chest from where you rested your head, along with the playful back-and-forth banter and melodic laughter that filled the room made that excruciating pain you had been feeling all day worth it if it meant being able to have a moment like this.

*****

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