haptureratch

[haptureratch]

I'm a little sad that when I get home from work, Steven won't be there. He was staying with me from Wednesday afternoon to this morning. My alarm went off at 6am and he held me for about 15 minutes (3 alarm snoozes lol). I told him I'd come say goodbye before I left and he wanted to make sure I wouldn't leave for work without doing so. He held me in my scrubs and scrub cap....asked if the crackling wrappers in my pocket were snacks (lol)....walked me to the door. We had more goodbyes and "I love you"s. He was still wearing my big yellow shirt. And I had slept in the crew one he got me from the Houston show.

It was amazing to have him stay. I took photos of his things intermingled with mine, signs he had spent time and worked in my house. (And not once was I nervous about him in my space.. an absolute first)

I hit some snags. On Thursday night and Sunday afternoon. PMDD week, innit. But like. If my anxiety and depression won't quit, I do want to try different treatments again. Therapy alone and PHT have helped this....but I'm not to the point where I'm living my life fully yet

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Last night felt like a dreamspace. Relaxing with Steven in a tidy house on a work night. It felt like I was back in my med center apartment (residency break-down era), that refuge against the world...my dear, cozy nook where I held myself in my own arms with my TV for company, and found solace in warm lights and soft blankets amist what felt like an endless storm. And last night the same lamp, same couch, same candles, same TV. But in my own perfectly silent house. And with him. His hands on my feet, rubbing away the day. In my girls camp rock shirt from my cousin Mac so long ago. And I felt so at home, just like I did by myself, but somehow a whole other person was in the mix. Yet everything felt right just the same

It was WILD

#these tender fucking magic moments my guy

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Hamish Linklater photographed by Jenna Jones.

#oh?????? #okay???????? #🤯

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And not to pull your halo down

Around your neck and tug you off your cloud

But I'm more than just a little curious

How you're planning to go about making your amends

To the dead

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The building of rage

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I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

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I’m like if someone smart chose to be an idiot. Out of free will

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…

_neonnine.photography_

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Yorkshire, England by Paul Moon

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+

#sculptures is HITTING

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citationless behavior

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our souls are deeply intertwined (you liked my post)

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GET A HONEY OF A DEAL!