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greengyuu · 7 months

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☆ seasons - beomgyu

synopsis - he was her muse, she was his solace, however what if his emotions got to him for the worst to happen?

-> inspired by the webtoon seasons of blossom, hamin's flower, a bit of dongchae's flower too if you squint :)

-> muse! beomgyu x artist! reader

-> right person not enough time, highschool au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst with happy ending, secret relationship

-> note! rlly important,, attempted suicide, abusive parents and sh mentions so pls scroll away if youre uncomfortable. slightly ooc beomgyu. i cried at hamin's flower, i love this webtoon sm. also this is going to be more lengthier compared to my other oneshots so enjoy!!

he was rather popular among the cohort, everyone liked him. he was attractive, smart, and had an overall fun personality. everyone knew who beomgyu was, girls swooning over him, confessing their love for him. guys always hanging around him, wanting to have a chat with him every now and then. the whole school knew how cool he was, how high his reputation was, everyone liked him, there was nothing to dislike about beomgyu. that's how you know him even if you guys weren't from the same class.

you, on the other hand, were quiet, barely interacted with the people around you. you'd always stay out of drama in order to protect yourself. during breaks and lunch, you always saw yourself finding solace in the art room, chewing down on your premade lunch while painting whatever was on your mind.

first encounter ༘⋆✿

this day in particular, was one where it basically changed your life. as you mixed the paints on your palette to get a shade of your liking, the door suddenly opened. numerous thoughts rushed through your mind, did someone finally find out your hiding spot? is a teacher going to scold you for using the art room? you bit your lip, thinking of the multiple possibilities that may occur. the sound of the sliding door closing made you peek your eyes out to assess the situation, only to realise that beomgyu, the one everyone liked, was in the same room as you.

"finally, some peace, these people can't seem to stop following me around jeez." beomgyu scoffed in annoyance, grabbing the seat closest to him, plopping down on it exhaustedly. you peered at beomgyu with confusion, he doesn't seem to notice your presence just yet. you continued to hide yourself, watching him warily while he continued to grumble to himself.

just to your luck, your leg accidentally kicked the easle, causing it to drop. you mentally cursed to yourself trying to prevent the canvas from falling on the ground. beomgyu heard the chaos happening on your end, and immediately turned his head over to find the source of loud sound, only the find you panicking over the fact that you got found out.

"how long have you been in here?" beomgyu interrogated you as if you were a wanted criminal. nothing could come out of your mouth, you looked like a deer caught in headlights. beomgyu chuckled to himself, moving towards you, taking a seat beside you.

"i'm beomgyu, you?" he placed a hand out infront of you, wanting to shake your hand. you glanced at his hand, then his face, still skeptical, what if he is luring you into a trap to get caught by the teachers. unbelievable!

"i'm yn.." you mumbled, loud enough to be heard by beomgyu, taking him hand in yours, giving it a nice, and firm shake. the awkward tension filled up the atmosphere, beomgyu scratched his cheek, slightly nervous about the silence between the two of you. you sat there, eating onigiri as if he wasn't there, continuing to paint your artwork. beomgyu stared at the way you carried the brush, with each stroke, a mesmerising work of art unfolded infront of beomgyu.

"you stay here during your spare time?" beomgyu asked, sipping on the extra pack of milk he was carrying in his bag earlier. you hummed in response, "yea, this is my place to enjoy the peace and quiet." a bit of sarcasm directed towards beomgyu for interrupting your tranquility. beomgyu remained silent for a while, finishing his milk packet, placing it on one of the tables around the both of you.

"the teachers allow you in here?" beomgyu continued questioning you, he found you quite interesting for not fawning over him, and asking him stupid questions like what everyone else does. he felt safe around you despite knowing you for just a few minutes. "only my art teacher, he knows how much i enjoy drawing, so he gave me the keys to this room. only if i promised not to get caught by any teacher or student. but, you suddenly came in here, man i should have locked the door." you grumbled the last part out, in slight bitterness. however you didn't really ming beomgyu's presence as long as he doesn't go snitching on you, you were fine with it.

"then you, why did you suddenly barge in here without a warning?" it was your turn to interrogate him, usually no one found interest in the art room, so you found it suspicious. beomgyu looked nervous, was he really about to tell a girl he just got to know his secret. he pressed his lips together, forming something similar to a straight line, still hesitant. you noticed his silence, and was about to reassure him that you weren't forcing him to tell you.

"it's just that my supposed friends are practically assholes who just want popularity. i just want to get away from them." beomgyu sighed, his eyes flickering to whatever's interesting outside the window. "promise me that you tell anyone about my secret or i'll complain to the school about your special treatment in the art room." beomgyu warned, turning to face you to show how serious he was with this.

"ok, ok promise." you giggled, finding his serious look funny. beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed, "why are you laughing." you covered your mouth, preventing yourself from giggling any further.

"nothing, just found it funny." you replied, your focus going back to your uncompleted canvas. beomgyu pouted, resting cheek on the table infront of him as he continued to watch you paint the background of your artwork. "oh! right, can you model for me? i really need a reference for this piece.. i need to work on my realism, please." you pleaded beomgyu. beomgyu's eyes narrowed, reluctant to do your request, however he found himself shifting his seat to face your direction. strange. whenever his friends asked him to do something, he'd normally refuse, however he was comfortable with your requests. how odd.

"is this ok?" he asked, he rested his cheek on the palm of his hand, looking at you like a puppy wandering on the streets. you gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention back to your canvas, picking up the pencil from the table beside you. your head would occassionally pop up from the side of your canvas, peering at beomgyu's facial features, taking them in while your hands does the wonders of sketching out his pretty features. beomgyu's facial structure was perfect, paired with his soft fluffy brown hair resting neatly above his eyes. you could tell that he was growing out his hair especially with the ends of his hair touching the back of the collar of his uniform.

beomgyu watched you squint your eyes with pure concentration whenever you'd look at his features and back at your canvas to make sure they matched. he noticed the way your tongue protruding from your lips slightly, your eyes basically fired up with determination to get the details correct. he felt himself smile to himself, watching your every move.

"tell me about yourself, beomgyu. i don't want to sketch in plain silence." you suddenly requested, beomgyu was taken aback, this was the first time someone actually wanted to understand and know him as a person, and not just for his looks and academics. beomgyu licked his dry lips before opening his mouth, maybe he could trust you with this information, "hmm, you know, even if this is the first time i've ever met you. i feel like i can just be myself around you. for the first time, i don't need to have a fake persona to make a person understand me."

you felt your mouth go dry, he left you tongue tied, you didn't expect him to say something like that, you felt your heart rate accelerating– he made you feel special, important. "wow.. i didn't take you as a two-faced person." you joked with him, beomgyu sneered at your remark, feeling the tips of his ears turn red, well you weren't particularly wrong..

"how long do we have left." you asked, rushing your final detail of the sketch. beomgyu switched on his phone, flipping the screen around to show you. 5 minutes left, wow that was quick. you turned the easle towards beomgyu, showing your masterpiece.

"how is it?" you inquired proudly, you were nervous about the sudden silence coming from beomgyu's end. you slowly opened your eyes to see him taking a picture of your artwork, your eyes widened, "hey, it's not even done. don't take a picture just yet." however, beomgyu smirked at you, showing signs of not wanting to delete the picture. he slowly backed up towards the door, pausing as you looked at him in confusion.

"remember our promise ok?" beomgyu reminded, sticking out his pinky, you looked up at him, cocking your eyebrow at him, before intertwining your pinkies to lock the promise. beomgyu smiled at your gesture, "i'll see you soon." waving at you one last time before heading out of the art room. you stared at the shut door, still puzzled from what just occurred. you hurriedly packed your things before leaving the art room to go for your next class.

subsequent meetings ༘⋆✿

the door slid open again, you looked up in curiousity, only to be puzzled to see beomgyu standing there, quietly shutting the door. "you're here again?" you sighed, once again your peace was disrupted. beomgyu laughed, "can't i come here to enjoy the peace as well?" you grimaced at him, turning your head back to the canvas that was on the table, struggling to place it properly on the easle. beomgyu quickly stood behind you, leaning down to help you fix it. you felt your breath hitch, you could feel how close he was to you as he positioned the canvas perfectly for you. beomgyu took a seat beside you, his head on the table, turned towards your direction, watching you squeeze each of your desired coloured paints onto the palette.

"do you not have any other friends?, do you, well.. get outcasted or something? should i help you?" beomgyu randomly muttered out, you felt yourself pause, your head turning to face him, "what do you mean?" completely confused about what he's saying, the back of your neck feeling warm. is he assuming that you have no friends since you always hang around the art room.. beomgyu shrugged his shoulder, staring off into the distance. to beomgyu, he envied you, you get to enjoy your own solitude in the art room, away from the loud chaos happening in the main areas of the school. he's always surrounded by people, constantly blabbering in his ears about different topics that he isn't interested in, he often had to tune them out, or even cut them off to have some silence. even at home, he can't have a place where he could be alone and happy. his parents are constantly shouting, yelling at him to do better. pressurising him to constantly get good grades for every single test, even one mistake makes them go ballistic.

"i did have a friend, but she moved away 2 weeks later. i don't really socialise with the people in my class, so.." you hesitated to continue, not knowing how to complete your sentence. beomgyu smiled at you with adoration, maybe, just maybe he can find some solace within you. whenever you were painting, or just doing anything related to art, you'd look serene. beomgyu found you calming, only you could calm his nerves down that easily.

"cute." beomgyu uttered out, it slipped out of his mouth. you were stunned, a soft 'huh' left your mouth. confused, yet flustered at the same time, your cheeks warmed up at the sudden compliment. beomgyu gave you a boyish grin, straightening his back, stretching his tense muscles at the same time.

"hm, how about this, we make this our meeting place, but outside of here, pretend like we don't know each other. i don't want you to get unnecessary attention from my 'friends'." beomgyu offered, his request was odd. however, you still accepted it, you somehow enjoyed his presence around you. you've only known him for a while, but how does one already break down your walls that easily?

"that's a deal then." beomgyu smirked at you, his pinky intertwining with yours again, making another promise with you. "i'll see you around yn!" waving goodbye to you with a big smile on his face, heading out of the art room. you were slightly touched with how much he tried to create a bond with you, it was cute of him, maybe you'd actually look forward to lunch time now.

everyday, without a fail, beomgyu would enter the art room, closing the door immediately to not attract any suspicion. everyday, he entered the room, the relationship between both of you blossomed. you found yourself growly more fond of him. he felt the same way, he was drawn to you in some way or another, you weren't like the other people in school who would always stick their noses into other people's business. he knew that he could allow you into his heart. he knew that maybe it's possible to try something new with you. you had mini art lessons for beomgyu, you noticed his special talent for art, not only did was he a model student, he could draw well too, that pulled your heart strings.

in the art room, from teaching him how to paint a scenary, to conversations about each other's personal life. leaning on the edge of a table, beomgyu would subconsciously lace his fingers with yours, his head laying on your shoulder, telling you about how tiring it was to deal with his fake friends. you could only try your best to comfort him, since you didn't know exactly how he felt. his thumb would occassionally rub your knuckles, making your heart race.

despite all these secret interactions you two have, you would walk past beomgyu, not initiating any conversation with him, only glancing up at him, he would do the same, locking eyes with you, his hands intentionally rubbing past yours before walking away with his group of friends. thus, you decided to tone down your overwhelming feelings for beomgyu in order not to get too affected by it. therefore, when you saw beomgyu sitting in the art room, a tear dripping down his face, you were concerned, worried, you didn't really know what to do. so the best thing you did was pretend like you didn't notice beomgyu crying.

beomgyu noticed how flustered you were, a light-hearted giggle came out of his mouth, "i'm fine, so don't go anywhere. just stay here." upon his request, you sat infront of him, your eyes filled with concern. "why were you crying?" you asked, beomgyu looked out of the window, the afternoon glow luminating his face, his tear stained cheeks now more obvious, his damp eyelashes fluttering prettily. he was heaven-sent.

"summer break's coming, that means i'll have to attend summer school, and not be allowed to use the art room.." trailing off his words, "i also like watching you draw, so i guess that contributes to the factor." beomgyu confessed. your hands were clammy, did you hear that correctly? you felt yourself blush, cheeks warming up.

"how about during summer break you come with me to the art academy i attended for a tour?" you invited. beomgyu immediately turned to face you, the tip of his ears turning red, you practically asked him out. "sure.." he agreed, his hands quickly grabbing his phone from his pocket, typing in something quickly. he showed you his screen, contactlist. oh, he wanted your number. you took his phone from his, placing it on your lap before passing your own device to him, wanting him to give you his contact as well. both of you typed in your numbers in each other's phone before returning it back.

"i'll text you the date?" you say, tilting your head slightly. beomgyu uttered a quick, 'ok', coming down from the shelf he was conveniently sitting on. he bidded you goodbye, heading for his next, leaving you alone with your own thoughts. you turned on your phone, seeing the contact name, 'beomgyu :D' appearing on the notification board. 'i'll see you on the tour day itself :)' without knowing, you smiled to yourself, replying to his message while walking towards your classroom.

rain ༘⋆✿

maybe it was fate, maybe an invisible string was attached to the both of you to find each other. it has been a while since the day you two went out for the tour around your art academy, you've introduced him to the art studio you always go to after school. you and beomgyu made it your second hangout spot, away from everyone, only you, him, and your art director, but that didn't really matter. you two were closer than ever, telling each other about your secrets, ranting to each other about everything, basically attached by the hip.

school started again after the long summer break, the both of you went back to pretending like you didn't know about each other's existence. you ended classes earlier than him, since you were in the art stream. beomgyu on the other hand, he had lessons all the way till 4, as he was in the top class, which has more subjects compared to a normal senior year class, even if he wanted to skip lessons to spend more time with you, he can't, his parents were another issue. if his parents found out that he pulled out of his cram school, and went to your art studio with the funded money, who knows what would happen to him.

you stood near the entrance of the school's main doors, waiting for him to go to the art studio together, noticing that the sky was overcast, yet there was no wind whatsoever. the humidity and heat was getting to you, tying your hair in hopes of cooling yourself down. suddenly you felt something cold being placed at the back of your neck, you shrieked in fear, only to realise that beomgyu was standing behind you with a chilled can of pocari, placing it on the top of your head, giving it to you.

"sorry to keep you waiting." beomgyu apologised, peeping his head out of the sheltered doorway to check the weather, it was going to rain. he turned to you as you chugged down the can of pocari as if it was your last drink.

"oh? you tied your hair, huh? didn't you let it loose just now?" his eyes squinting at you, you felt flustered under his gaze, "i was waiting for you, and it was really humid, so i tied my hair!" you retorted, your lips forming into a pout. "hmm, for sure. you look cuter with your hair tied up anyways." beomgyu teased, his smirk rubbing you off. you smacked his shoulder, while he laughed at you.

just a few moments after, the sky was completely dark, droplets of rain pouring down from the sky immediately. you looked out at the sky, slightly happy about the sudden downpour, you loved the rain, it was relaxing. just listening to the sounds of rain droplets falling and hitting the concrete floor was soothing to you.

"the rain makes the summer air so much more suffocating." beomgyu grumbled beside you, about to grab his umbrella, however you stopped him. "let's go! this is the best way to feel freedom." you giggled, holding beomgyu's hand to pull him out into the rain. your bright, radiant smile made beomgyu flush, he usually hated the rain, let alone play in it, but it was different when it was with you.

"if you're going to grab onto my hand, at least do it properly." beomgyu mumbled, his fingers making it's way to intertwine with yours. "even so, this is more fun than i thought." beomgyu admitted, you beamed even more after hearing that, you hands squeezing his as you jumped into puddles, running around in the rain with him. after that fun, eventful journey, you two finally arrived at the art studio, greeting your art director with both your hairs' dripping, clothes stuck to your skin.

"oh dear! come, take some of my clothes, i'll go wash and dry these for you." the art director sighed, tossing her clothes onto the couch for you and beomgyu to change into. you burst out in laughter when you saw beomgyu, sitting on the couch, waiting for you, the clothes were too small for him. he glared at you, "shut up, sit here with me." beomgyu grumbled, patting the seat next to him, you obediently went beside him. the both of you shared the blanket, warming yourselves up.

"hmm, you know, whenever i'm with you, i get more talkative. usually i'm uncomfortable with such things, but why is it ok when i'm with you?" beomgyu said, leaning his head to his hand, looking straight into your eyes.

"oh, i hear a lot from my friends that i seem harmless." you joked, laughing to yourself, beomgyu smiled along with you, his eyes softened as he admired your pretty smile, and rosy cheeks.

"i think i know what they mean. but it's more like..." beomgyu trailed, trying to find a word to describe it.

"what? you're gonna tease me again, aren't you?" you scoffed, knowing that he loves joking around with you, he enjoyed looking at your angry look, it was cute.

"you're lovable?" your eyes widened in confusion, your cheeks flushing to a light hue a red, nothing came out of your mouth, you were speechless. beomgyu noticed your reaction, pink dusting his cheeks, the tip of his ears turning red. you laughed at him, pointing out how flustered he was.

"you make me like this yn." beomgyu pulled on his ears, in attempt to hide them, finally lifting his head up from the palm of his hand to look at your better. he inched closer to you, faces just centimeters away from one another, his mind clouded with thoughts of you, your lips, everything about you, "tell me if you hate it ok?" asking for consent.

"i don't.. hate it." you reassured him. beomgyu's lips tugged upwards before closing the gap between the two of you. you tasted like vanilla, probably from the lipbalm you were before school, he wanted more but was afriad that you would feel uncomfortable, pulling away after awhile. the kiss was short but pure. a small, 'ah' coming out of your mouth, feeling slightly disappointed that it ended.

beomgyu leaned towards you, whispering into your ear, "by the way, that was my first kiss." hearing that shocked you, he has never kissed anyone before? you were his first. "me too.." you trailed off, nervously glancing around the art studio. "it was pretty obvious." beomgyu chuckled as you turned your head towards him, your cheeks burning further, "huh how!? what do you m-"

"i'm back kids!" the art director interrupted your sentence, holding onto a basket with your uniforms. you and beomgyu turned towards her with red faces, she looked shocked and apologised, leaving your uniforms on the counter before continuing to mind her own business. the two of you turned back to each other and giggled. maybe beomgyu would start liking the rain that he had always hated.

radiant ༘⋆✿

"is everyone clear on this? this is how your art projects will be evaluated this semester." everybody groaned, the grading system was even more strict than usual. "oh right, i heard that your class chose face painting for this year's school festival. yn you're good at drawing, so you can help the others.." everyone turned to you while you blinked open your eyes, you were dead asleep. you didn't hear anything you teacher just said. your classmates laughed as your tablemate filled you in on what was happening, you came to your senses and just nodded in agreement to what your teacher said.

"perfect, class is dismissed now." you heaved a sigh of relief, saying a quick goodbye to your classmates, making your way to the art room. while walking up the flight of stairs, you overheard a group of people talking bad about beomgyu, they obviously couldn't tell that their volume was loud enough for people to eavesdrop on them. you felt a familiar presence creeping up behind you, you turned around, looking at beomgyu with concern, is this what he goes through all the time? beomgyu placed a finger on his lips, brushing past you as he made his way towards the group.

your eyes lingered on beomgyu's silhouette, worry crashes over. is he really ok with his friends talking shit about him behind his back.. your eyebrows knitted together, pulling your phone out of your skirt pocket as soon as you entered the art room.

yn★: are you ok?

beom:> : yea don't worry about me.

im almost there, wait for me yeah? read

upon hearing the door shut behind you, your head snapped towards the direction. beomgyu gave you the same old carefree smile he'd always wear on his face as if nothing happened. you walked towards him, tugging him into a hug. beomgyu was stiff but slowly melted under your touch, using his height to his advantage, he placed his chin atop of your head, his hands rubbing your back, consolling you.

"yn, you don't need to worry about me too much 'kay?" his gentle voice reassured you. maybe he was too used to it. "but if it bothers you too much, you can tell me." your head tilted up, doe eyes looking up at him. beomgyu nodded to your request, patting your head as he pulled away, how could he say no?

"right, my class is doing face painting for this years festival, and i kinda got forced into it.. so if you can, please visit us." you exclaimed, an excited smile appearing on your face. beomgyu's eyes softened, perhaps it was finally time for you to be under the limelight.

weeks flew by quickly, the school's festival was finally here. your class was bustling, each and every one of you scrambled around your class, setting up the props, and rearranging the tables. you on the other hand, was dragging a heavy bag of washable facepaints and brushes up to your class, your teacher must really enjoywatching you suffer. you were that your legs were going to fumble when you entered the class, beads of sweat trickling dowm your forehead as if you ran a marathon.

"wow, she really gave us a lot of materials, thanks for bringing them up yn!" your classmate patted your back, rummaging through the variety of brushes and paints, picking each different one up. you smiled at them, giving them a quick thumbs up, can they not tell that you basically went through hell bringing these up the stairs, this was even worse than deadlifting at a gym.

"yn! come here, help us paint our faces first before everyone else comes! we wanna be the first ones to experience your facepainting." your friend shouted for you, you went to where they were, sitting down on where you were supposedly stationed at. you carefully painted each of their requests right on their cheekbone, under their eyes. all of your classmates were amazed at your skill, you were able to draw from scratch, something they can't do.

"now do yours!" your classmate exclaimed, her phone camera placed infront of your, as if it was a mirror. you gave it some thought, finally deciding to draw a bear on your cheek, beomgyu's favourite animal, it even looks like him. you smiled to yourself, proud of your final work. you turned your cheek towards your classmates, showing it off, everyone gaped in astonishment, some giving you a thumbs up.

"ok guys, sorry to ruin your fun, but people are about to start coming here, so please get ready." your teacher coughed out to gain your attention, everyone quickly went to their station, a few grabbing the predecorated board to walk around the school to promote your class's activity. you rest your head on the palm of your hand, waiting for the students to arrive at at your classroom. multiple students came rushing in, they were excited to have their faces painted, especially by one of the best artists in the school. multiple requests were shouted at you as you tried calming them down, "one by one please.." you felt small, but you were happy that people were finally recognising your work and appreciating you as a person.

"you seriously want to do face painting?" a voice echoed through the hallways, only to be shushed by his group of friends. you recognised the brown messy hair, along with his converse shoes almost immediately. beomgyu came to see you, you smiled to yourself, your eyes darted back to the student you were still working on as he made his way towards you, his friends following behind him like minions.

"it's so cute, thank you so much yn!" the girl quickly thanked, her eyes sparkling with pure joy, admiring the art you drew on her cheek. your lips curved upwards, proud of yourself. without even realising, beomgyu had already sat infront of you, waiting for you to speak. you cleared your throat, out of pure anxiousness. "what design would you like to have?" he pondered to himself, humming while tapping his chin, "a hamster." your heart skipped a beat, it was one of your favourite pets, he even told you that you looked like a hamster before. he definitely got the inspiration from the bear on your cheek.

you dipped your paintbrush into the white paint before carefully drawing out the hamster you envisioned in your mind. beomgyu's eyes were closed, however he could feel how close your faces were, his ears turned to a slight pink shade, feeling rather flustered. "done." your soft, tender voice spoke, beomgyu's eyes opened up, staring into the mirror next to him, admiring your work of art. not long after, he got up, bidding you goodbye before leaving with his friends. you called out for the next student, giggling with them, not knowing that beomgyu's gaze was still on you, admiring the way your smile brightened up the entire room, everyone around you laughing away, having a fun time. everyone seemed to enjoy your presence, finally noticing how radiant you can be.

days after the festival, you hung out with a few new friends you made during the festival, gossiping, chatting about boys, the usual teenage stuff. of course you'd go back to the art room to meet beomgyu, however it felt different, you noticed that his usually welcoming, fun aura was replaced with a gloomy one. he tried his best to hide it from you, his signature smile appearing on his face whenever you guys talked, hugged or shared a quick kiss.

one particular evening, you were texting beomgyu like any other regular day, chatting about your day as per usual, a giddy smile stayed on your face.

yn★ : RIGHT IT WAS SO STUPID

beom:> : oh right, i have a request.

yn★ : hold on! my mum is calling for me

beom:> : if i look tired one day, can you drag me out to jump in the rain again? [deleted]

yn★ : im back

what was it that you deleted?

gyu?

hello????

you furrowed your eyebrows, beomgyu wasn't the type to leave you on delivered, this was new. you didn't know how to feel, your fingers moved faster than your mind, you closed the app, turning off your phone. you stared at the ceiling, tears pricking your eyes, is it true, is the '3 month rule' thing your friends talk about true? you sighed, wiping away the fallen teardrops before closing your eyes. maybe sleeping will remove all your problems.

it has been a long time since that happened, you felt like your relationship with beomgyu was going to fall apart, you didn't want that to happen at all, you were worried, he left you on delivered more often, even if he replied you, it was dry. you felt like a wreck. on the other hand, beomgyu felt like he was going back into the slump he was once in before he found you, this time it was worse. the unbelievably high standards his parents were setting for him, along with the physical abuse he had to endure was getting unbearable. in addition to that, beomgyu's parents limited the hours beomgyu could spend on his phone, also banning him from going out after they found out about him sneaking out to the art studio instead of cram school. they were furious, slapping him hard, ripping the drawings beomgyu drew during his freetime, shouting at him. beomgyu was tired, extremely exhausted of everything.

"gyu?" your voice suddenly sounded, the door behind him opened, beomgyu jumped in shock, he didn't expect you to be here so early. you closed the door behind you, maybe it was finally time you talked to him about this. "did you change your number?"

"no."

"was your service cut or something?"

"no."

"then what is it? at first i thought you were just busy but weeks and days turned into months, it is hard to see you in school, let alone contact you! but you said you were afraid of losing me." your words struck beomgyu like an arrow piercing through his heart, the way your voice cracked each time you uttered a word broke him, yet he didn't budge, he deserved it, that's what he felt.

"do you not feel it as well? ever since the festival, we've distanced so much, it's as if we're back to square one, like we don't know each other anymore." your tears were threatening to spill out, hitting beomgyu's chest. you were mad, but you were more upset than angry at beomgyu, what was he hiding from you.

"as we should." beomgyu mutterred out, bringing his hand to cover his face.

"what?" your mouth slightly ajar, you didn't hear that incorrectly right?

"yn, i think it's better if we just stop seeing each other, or maybe just forget about each other." beomgyu admitted, he didn't want this to end, he really didn't but he didn't want you to go through his sufferring, he wants you to have your own life without constantly worrying about him. you moved beomgyu's hand away from his face, only to realise that he was crying too. you were about to say something but the bell rung, signalling that lunch ended.

"let's go to somewhere before people see us here." you said with a hushed tone, leaving the art room, towards the stairwell nearby. beomgyu followed you closely, his lips pressed together, forming a straight line. his mind was in utter chaos right now, he just wanted to make the pain go away. the both of you sat beside each other on the staircase, waiting for everyone to go back to their classes.

"we're going to be late anyways, you can just tell your teacher you were feeling slightly unwell." you advised, beomgyu nodded his head, tilting his head down, his bangs falling over his eyes.

"im quitting the art studio to join the art academy for my entrance exam–" you took a deep breath in, noticing beomgyu's slighty shocked expression before turning away to look out the window, "so, if you want, you can join me too, then we can go to art school together." you tried staying positive, maybe after this, you and beomgyu still had a chance to see each other outside school and maybe even post highschool.

"i'm quitting art. it is just a hobby to me, i dont see any interest in taking art for college. and i.. can't rlly see you making it far with art too.." beomgyu confessed, maybe it was better for you to start hating him, rather than making you dwell over him and his well-being everytime. you looked at beomgyu with pure bitterness, you were speechless, did he really say that to you? you stood up, making beomgyu look up at you with tired eyes.

"at least i don't bottle up my feelings while making it obvious that i'm doing something i hate. you can spend your life giving up on things you like. like art and me. you coward." you grumbled, walking away from beomgyu, leaving him by the stairs. you were pissed, you quickened your pace towards the girls' bathroom, locking yourself up in the cubicle, letting out your pent up feelings. you hated this feeling, it was eating you up, maybe beomgyu had his reasons to push you away like that, but he could have just told you, why was he doing this.

beomgyu stared blankly at where you stood, he ruffled his hair in frustration, he looked down at the ground, "ah.. i really fucked up." he stared at his wrists, the past healed scars fading away, maybe if he started again, would he feel any better? beomgyu smacked his head, trying to wake himself up as he got up to return back to class.

his flower ༘⋆✿

"i think you should take up this challenge, especially since you want to enter one of the top art colleges." you teacher recommended, you took the pamphlet, scanning through the requirements. you gave it some thought, i mean of course you'd join, it'll look good on your portfolio, but whether you should take one for him.

"can i have one more?" you asked, your teacher smiled at you, handing you another piece. you thanked her and left the staff room, slowly walking back to class. you got to your seat, quickly scribbling something down on the post it you had conveniently laying around, before pasting it on the pamphlet, folding it nicely. you rushed out of your class, looking around for something or someone. luckily, you saw one of beomgyu's friend's, soobin, you knew that they were childhood friends so you could trust him with this.

"hey.. uhm, soobin, can you pass this on to beomgyu, don't tell him who it's from though." you whispered loudly, quickly handing him the folded pamphlet. soobin gave you a thumbs up, waving you a quick goodbye as he entered his classroom.

"beomgyu! something for you." soobin called out, to get beomgyu's attention. beomgyu turned to him with curiousity, taking the piece of paper from soobin's grasp. soobin dragged a chair next to him, waiting for beomgyu to read the contents. beomgyu's eyes straight away landed on the post it note that was loosely hanging on the phamplet.

'us going through this challenging period, is proof that we're trying our best to bloom, right?' it read, beomgyu took the paper, writing something down on the post it before sticking it on his journal. soobin looked at him like a meerkat, wondering what beomgyu was doing.

"oh, right, i might bring over some dinner for you later, i'll text you if i can't." soobin reminded, patting beomgyu's shoulder before leaving the classroom. beomgyu sighed, he really didn't want soobin to come over, he stared at his bandaged up wrist, as he layed his head on the table, closing his eyes for a quick nap.

beomgyu was done with everything, he was exhausted physically and mentally, if he couldn't distract himself, his mind would go haywire. this was especially hard since his screentime was only limited to an hour. the previous night, his dad finally came home after a long day of work, the smell of alcohol on his office dress shirt was loud, beomgyu was scared. his dad's footsteps came closer to his door, much to his disappointment, the door flung open.

"i heard you got back your physics paper, show it to me." beomgyu shivered at how menancing his dad sounded, he obeyed and quickly scrambled for his paper. he looked at his score, just an 80%, not perfect enough for his parents. beomgyu passed the papers to his dad, ready for the scolding of his life.

"fucking disappointment, this is what happened when you go to a bloody art studio instead of the cram school i painstakingly pay for." beomgyu's dad shouted, rage boiling throughout his veins, beomgyu's dad inched closer to beomgyu. slap, a loud, quick smack went across beomgyu's face, it was hard, beomgyu's fists trembled in fear, trying to endure the burning pain on his cheek. his dad grabbed a handful of beomgyu's hair, yanking him closer to him. beomgyu whinced in pain, tears threatening to spill out.

"if you don't stop acting like a useless piece of shit, i'll personally send you abroad." beomgyu's dad spat, tossing beomgyu onto the ground before leaving the room, slamming it shut. beomgyu leaned against his bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling like nothing. how he wished he could text you right now, but either way, he didn't want to distrupt your sleep. beomgyu slowly got up, walking towards his study table, eyeing the sharpener blade he used to use before he was clean. like a paintbrush on a canvas, each stroke was clean, leaving behind a deep red colour each time, it was like his own artwork.

"ah.." beomgyu sighed, a tear falling out of his eye, looking at his wrist. you'd be so disappointed in him if you ever found out. he quickly took the bandage wraps that were in his drawer, wrapping it around his fresh wounds. beomgyu rubbed his eyes, plopping onto his bed, staring at his wallpaper, a picture your took of a cat on his phone, how he wished things would go back to how it used to be.

back to the present, school ended, students rushed out of their classroom, either wanting to hang out with their friends or to go home to rest. beomgyu knew that his father was home, he knew that he'd be back for another beating, he really didn't want to go home. he slowly packed his things, throwing his bag over his shoulder, proceeding towards his lockers. looking up, he saw you, smiling with your new friends, laughing at one another's jokes. as much as he wanted to run towards you, and bring back past memories, he couldn't he can't hurt you anymore.

beomgyu quickly walked past you, making his way back home. you noticed his familiar scent, you turned around to his direction, your smile faltering, you missed him so much, yet you couldn't bring yourself to text him. "yn? are you going to come?" your friend shook you out of your trance. you jolted at the sudden touch, "yea."

"i'm home." beomgyu announced, closing the front door, removing his shoes. he heard the television playing, dim lights, along with the strong smell of cigerattes and alcohol. not again.. beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed, he didn't want to deal with this again.

"choi beomgyu." beomgyu groaned internally at his name being called, his father looked mad, filled with rage, beomgyu knew he was fucked. "what's with your attitude in school now? the teacher called in saying that you've been sleeping in class more recently, is this how you fucking repay me? is this why you wanted to go to this neighbourhood school? to rebel against your parents?" beomgyu's dad continued rambling, moving closer towards beomgyu, his presence was horrifying, beomgyu felt his blood run cold. it all happened in the matter of seconds, beomgyu's face was now burning, he hissed in pain, holding onto his cheek, looking up at his dad who was staring down at him like he was an abandoned dog.

"pathetic. fucking pathetic. i wished i never had a son like you." beomgyu's dad spat, storming out of the house, probably out to go to the neighbourhood bar to party with his middle aged friends. beomgyu flinched when the door slammed shut, he sat on the ground, wiping off the blood on the side of his mouth. the taste of iron disgusted him, he got up onto his feet, walking into his room. he took out the journal he hid from his parents, the journal that he used to write about things he want to say to you. beomgyu flipped to the paragraph he wrote, rereading it, making sure that there were no flaws.

beomgyu laughed to himself, tears spilling out of his eyes, if his dad didn't even want him around, he might as well make that dream a reality. beomgyu wrote out one last line, before running out of the house, towards the apartment buildings nearby the school. the sky was overcast, dark grey clouds covering the sunrays, a few drops of raindrops fell on beomgyu as he brisk walked towards his desired location.

he trudged past the art studio, his eyes flickering into the studio, hoping that you were there, but who was he kidding, you left the studio to go to the art academy. however, the art director noticed him, shouting for him to get inside or he'll get rained on. beomgyu turned around, his look shocked the art director, he looked helpless, beomgyu bowed to the art director, before going off on his own.

"beomgyu! i have my mum's food here for dinner." soobin shouted, leaving the food on the kitchen counter. realising that there was no response, soobin was confused, maybe beomgyu was taking a nap. he entered beomgyu's room quietly, his eyes widening when he realised beomgyu wasn't anywhere to be found. his phone left on the table, the only thing that caught soobin's attention was the open journal left on beomgyu's desk, a long paragraph written on it. soobin read the content within that paragraph, panicking, soobin's mind was racing, 'fuck' repeating in his mind.

the letter read, 'i felt like i dreamt a very sweet, and awfully bitter dream, because the first moment i saw you combined with all the fleeting moments we spent together were too dazzling for me. you were always radiant. i hoped that only i would be the one to see your light. but others soon caught sight of it. and that's around when i realized something, i hadn't known when i'd been in the dark, the existence of my ugly shadow. the closer it got to the light, the thicker it became and the more it clung to me. so, i couldn't help but hide in the darkness again. i knew you would be hurt, but as you said i was a coward. i knew that you'd always stay with me through thick and thin, and that scared me, my problems would ultimately hurt you in the end either way. i knew how it would feel all too well. i was so used to giving up the things i liked that i thought i'd be okay again soon, just like always. i thought that all i had to do was to return to the way things were before i'd met you. that's what i thought, endless waves of self-hatred, a sense of helplessness, emptiness, loss, and absence. longing for the light, i'd already become accustomed to your warmth. but that short time with you had been the only moment I could be completely myself. thank you for being with me during my most radiant moment yn :)'

soobin unlocked beomgyu's phone, luckily he knew his phone password, he found your number, typing it down onto his own phone, dialing the number. soobin grabbed the journal, along with beomgyu's phone, running out of the house. on your end, you were suspicious on why the same number kept calling you, you were annoyed, the weather was perfect for a nap but it was distrupted by an endless string of phonecalls. you picked up your phone, immediately you heard a sigh of relief, along with a shaky panicky voice.

"you're yn right? please can you meet me at the convenience store nearby please, it's really urgent." soobin pleaded, his voice sounded like he was going to breakdown anytime soon. you were worried, what was exactly going on, why was beomgyu's childhood friend calling you?

"i'll come down soon, what is this about may i ask?" you questioned, grabbing your keys and wallet. "please hurry, run, i don't care, beomgyu's life is on the line. please yn.." soobin answered, shouting into his phone, he didn't want to waste anymore time, he started asking near passerbys about the whereabouts about beomgyu. your eyes widened, beomgyu? you dashed out of you house, yelling a quick goodbye to your mother.

"yn? it's raining take an umbrella-" the door was slammed shut, you tried calling beomgyu's phone, no response. the rain came pouring down, you were soaked in the salty rain. you ran towards the convenience store near your school, only to see soobin conversing with your art director.

"soobin!" you shouted, eyes filled with panic. soobin thanked your art director, you were confused, what were they talking about? "let's go, the apartments, your art director assumed that he might be there since she saw him headed towards that direction." soobin ordered, running. you ran along with him, taking notice of the plastic bag he was holding. it felt like forever, you were panting, gasping for air. the atmosphere was thick, both you and soobin were drenched.

"you take the elevator, i'll take the stairs." soobin said with a stern look, sprinting up the stairs. you pressed on the elevator button that closes the door multiple times, in hopes that it'll be faster. as soon as you reached the rooftop, you bolted out of the elevator, towards the two dark figures you saw in the distance. you begged your legs to hurry up when you saw beomgyu stick his leg out, risking it all. soobin's eyes widened, his hands reaching out for beomgyu, however..

"beomgyu!" you sped past soobin, reaching out to beomgyu first. half of your body was over the ledge, soobin grabbed onto the lowerhalf of your body, making sure that you wouldn't accidentally fall over. beomgyu looked up to see your desperate look, tears falling out of your eyes.

"do you really want to die that badly gyu? there's many other ways you can do this you know." you choked out, sobbing harder. beomgyu felt guilty, he looked down, realising how high it was.

"i don't want to die, but.. i'm more afraid of living under these circumstances." beomgyu managed to utter out, his voice muffled by the sound of rain hitting the surface below you.

"you know how proud i am for you that you're able to make it this far? i know how tough your situation is at home, but if you leave like this, you'll leave behind those who actually care for you. if you don't know how to love yourself, i'll teach you how. if you only know how to hurt yourself, i'll care for you! no matter how much life sucks, you need to stay alive, do the things you love, and come back to me. please beomgyu, give me another chance to care for you again!" you shouted, tears spewing out of your eyes, dripping on beomgyu's wet face, beomgyu felt himself whince, seeing you in such a state pained him.

beomgyu's hand reached out for yours, you turned around, giving soobin the signal to pull you two up. all three of you fell on the ground, you and soobin panting hard for oxygen. beomgyu stared at the sky, the salty raindrops falling on his face, his eyes red from all the crying. he then felt himself getting picked up from the ground, only to be embraced by your warmth.

"you fucking idiot, don't scare us again." soobin cursed out, his nose red from crying earlier, sniffling loudly. beomgyu chuckled at soobin's reaction, wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly. he missed this comforting, warm embrace of yours. constant apologies came out of beomgyu's mouth, trying to calm you down from this whole incident.

"please, never do that again." your puffy eyes and runny nose made beomgyu laugh, his hands wiping the tear rolling down your cheek. "oh right soobin, what's that in the plastic bag." beomgyu asked, pointing towards the wet bag. "oh it's the notebook i found on your desk, and your phone. also is this notebook some love confession book for yn or something." soobin blabbered, his lips curling up to a smirk. your head turned towards soobin quickly, accidentally knocking into beomgyu's chin.

"shut up, i use that book to write down stuff i want to tell yn." beomgyu admitted, averting your eyes, "guess i'll give it to your as an apology.." beomgyu pouted. you smiled at him, teasing him slightly.

"beomgyu, if you need a place to stay for awhile, you should stay at mine, my parents won't snitch. in the meantime, we can file a lawsuit against your parents." soobin advised, beomgyu gulped at his words, suing his own parents? he didn't want to since well they're his parents afterall, but after all he has been through, he nodded his head, standing up from the wet slippery ground.

"let's go back to the art studio to dry up first, just like the first time." you grinned at beomgyu, dragging him along with you. soobin grumbled behind you two about how he has to thirdwheel you two now. the three of you laughed, making your way to the art studio, the sun now out, shining brightly around your surroundings, glowly radiantly in the sky. this may be the most eventful summer you've ever experienced.

end ༘⋆✿

author's note: sorry if this is super long, and for the bad english. but i hope you enjoyed!!

#my poor baby gyu #urgehwhshsh #i love him #greengyu recs ✧

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