grace-mendoza

[grace-mendoza]

and here we are Again...

here we are again back to depression, back to being miserable, back to not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to try, giving up, wanting to die

[grace-mendoza]

if I could...

if I would put into words what I'm feeling maybe you would belive the love I only have for you.

If I could be there for you maybe you'd belive that I'll always be around.

If I could hold you in my arms maybe maybe you would would understand the big part you have in my heart.

If I could get rid of this distance between us maybe we'd be okay, maybe we would be happy, maybe we would have faith in eachother, maybe we would have faith in us. I want us to make it I really do and I know it's hard when I'm without you but one day it will all be worth it. One day we will wake up next to eachother proud that we made it, proud that nothing got between us. There will be no one standing in are way and I can't wait for that day.

[grace-mendoza]

You were my everything, my one and only and I told you that. And you would even tell me the same thing, that there wasn't anyone else for you. But it wasn't just anyone else... you picked your bestfriend over me. The one you always told me I wouldn't have to worry about. And then you chose your ex over me too. Your double ex... you were together then decided not to be so you broke up, then you went back to her again, then we met so yall broke up again. But then you pick her over me. You went back to her for a 3rd time. You keep lying to me, you keep hurting me, and it's hard for me to think anything you told me was true at this point.

[grace-mendoza]

You don't even love me do you... you probably never did

[grace-mendoza]

Its been a minute tumblr....

Lets see uh my life is falling apart. That amazing, one of a kind girl who stole my heart, yea my parents found out so no I'm losing her. I mean we didn't even get the chance to be together and apparently we never will cause I have to leave.

[grace-mendoza]

She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She gives me this feeling that I can't evoking but I know I couldn't live without her. She gets the best post of me and she masks me want to be that person all the time. So I'm working in it, for her. Cause I would do anything for her.

[grace-mendoza]

this might sound worse then it us but...

Why on earth does everyone decide to come to me with their problem. They make me feel obligated to help them fix their mess, to build them up, to fix what's broken when. I promise I'm more messed up then they are. And everyone is so busy making me fix their problem that they don't care about mine. I'm not joking when I say the only person who gives me the time of day no matter how busy he is at the time is my ex. Like we're friends and I texted him the other day because I had a question only he could give me an anwser to. This wonderful an anwserd then was asking me why I wanted to know... I tried to avoid explaining... but he just kept asking me, he tried to help me through my problems when he was doing something really important so thank you, thank you alex

[grace-mendoza]

You know what Alex... I hate you and I want nothing to do with you. Well that's not exactly true but I know that I can't love you so the only thing left for me to do is hate you. Cause if I don't i won't every move on, and your making it very hard for me to move on.

[grace-mendoza]

♡ • - ♡

[grace-mendoza]

I thought I was getting over him, I thought I was beginning to move on, but that dream was so real. That dream of us together like that, acting like we were made for eachother it was so so real and I didn't wanna let go. It's like I would give anything just to have that back. But I cant and I know that even if I did I shouldn't do it again.

#Ex #Love #Moving on #missing you #breakup

[grace-mendoza]

Yo.... Alex dosent have a gf... but he did tell me he moved on and that I needed to do the same... like bro I'm trying just let me take my time I'm confused

#Gf #Bf

[grace-mendoza]

Am i ready to move on ?

#Move on #Ex #Bf #Gf

[grace-mendoza]

You win mi amor, I miss you

Do you miss me?

#Ex #Bf #Gf #Mi amor #Love

[grace-mendoza]

Dear ********,

I had some of the happiest moments of my entire life with you. I'm so grateful we happened. But you are the reason I sit alone and cry...and i hope you miss me too.

From *******

#Him #Bf #Gf #Ex

[grace-mendoza]

That man tried to help me through everything. He was right by me through my doubts, my paranoia, my insecurities, he was there for me. He just tried to help me. But I wouldn't open up. I wouldn't give him the chance to help me because I convinced myself that he was the problem when i couldn't be anymore wrong. If I would have just been open and honest I would still be with the love of my life. If only I woulda been open to him. I promise if I had the chance to do it over I would do so many things different because I wouldn't want to loose him like that again.

#Redo #Bf #Gf #Second chance #second chance at love

[grace-mendoza]

Alex... I trusted you with everything and I loved you with everything I have and again I'm sorry that my maturity level couldn't handle wat you offered but just know I really am sorry and I really do love you

[grace-mendoza]

Well turns out Alex's bestfriend lied about him having a gf

#Ex #Bf #best friend