fiddleturnips

[fiddleturnips]

What I can't believe current teens seem to be missing is that sometimes, the fucked up shit is what your brain already thinks is happening. A lot of young people with depression, anxiety, trauma, emotional disregulation, etc. can recognize that their emotions are mismatched to the relatively calm and stable world around them, and end up writing fiction where those emotions make more sense.

This was a thing we knew and talked about when I was eighteen. We wrote angsty evil villain characters and it helped us feel a little less shitty for the stuff that was happening in our brains. We wrote toxic relationships because it was a healthier way of relaying that constant fear of abandonment. Yeah, our lives were fucked up, but bad-relationship-with-your-judgmental-parents FEELS a lot more like vampire-tyrant-has-enslaved-your-family-and-locked-you-in-the-torture-dungeon when you can't fix it or get away.

Are you seeking the pain?

Hell no.

You want a way out.

But since it's there already anyway, you want it to make sense.

Then, later, when things are better, it's a retrospective.

(also sometimes it's just hot. Like, seriously, examining motives = good, assuming motives = bad. Favorite ships are INTERESTING.)

Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

[fiddleturnips]

I can't write her easily, but I have Emma-Mae's plot utility down.

Context: Bill has been torturing the humans with terrifying imagery in dreams and hallucinations, and Emma-Mae's have had a specific theme. (Also she's a nurse.)

Emma-Mae, too furious to keep her peace anymore, spun on Stanford. "I'm not scared of GODDAMN horses!" Ford recoiled from the force of her shout. He blinked. "But Bill knows your innermost thoughts-" "No, he knows what's in your dreams! An if you're spending every night and day single mindedly thinkin about something, it's gonna be in your dreams!" Ford's brows pinched together, gears turning in his head. "Wait. So you're saying that project you've been working on..." Emma-Mae glared at him. She gestures with one hand for him go finish his sentence. "...It was a decoy." "THERE you go." Ford began to pace along the kitchen. Stan butted in: "But... If you weren't working on something that would help..." "What the hell could I do that they can't? I'm here for medical expertise and shotgun proficiency and those ain't going away. My head is better empty." Stan looked at her like she'd just revealed some secret truth to him. He was in awe. "You're smart." "Yes I'm smart, I'm a nurse! They don't just give those credentials away! Education is what you make of it. There's a reason twelve times Doctor Pines needed doctoral dropout Mister McGucket to build his damn portal, and it's because twelve doctorates and none of them in engineering means you can't build a damn portal! We're smarter together, and Cipher's gonna try to break us apart every single fucking chance he gets, and you morons almost fell for it!" "Why the horses?" Ford asked suddenly. "It was easy," Emma-Mae said. "And mind you there's other reasons you don't get to know about, what with him having a damn key to your innermost mind." "Yes, of course. That makes sense." Ford held his chin with one hand, deep in thought. "You want him to think he can control you...."

#Emma-Mae McGucket #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #FiddleTurnips #copied from discord #queued post

[fiddleturnips]

Aw, geeze, I didn't mean for this to get through the queue before I edited it!

It's been updated:

#polyamory #fiddleturnips #fiddleford mcgucket #stanford pines #stanley pines #emma-mae mcgucket #image described in alt text

[fiddleturnips]

#polyamory #fiddleturnips #fiddleford mcgucket #copied from discord #queued post #stanford pines #stanley pines #emma-mae mcgucket #emma-mae

[fiddleturnips]

Emma-Mae vs. Ford normalizing Fiddlestan

I think the thing with Stanford is he has such a huge experience to education gap... like, he technically knows a bunch of stuff about sex, gender, and queerness, but he doesn't identify with or experience these things himself. So, his straight brother spontaneously develops this really weird, almost parentlike relationship with a guy who he's having casual sex with, and it just. doesn't make sense.

Emma-Mae gets it. Emma-Mae knows what being in love is like. She also knows what wanting to have sex is like, that's what her relationship with Stan is (she loves him, but he's more of a fuck buddy/best friend). The D/s side of it isn't something she experiences, but she's able to file it away as "weird gay shit" in her brain and thus accept it without really engaging with it. As for loving a guy who wants to have sex with you but who you don't really want to have sex with, well, she kind of normalized that already because a lot of women think that's normal - she definitely has a libido herself and has a bunch of female friends who have happy and active marital sex lives, but she also knows a lot of women who are like "I love the man but geeze, it's like he's always on." Her sexual and romantic vocabulary is developed from scratch from experience, whereas Ford's is much broader, but entirely theoretical.

Like, Emma-Mae is NOT a powerplay sort of a gal, but there was always this gap between what she wanted and what Fiddleford wanted, so as soon as they introduce a third into the relationship something clicks and she's just "Oh, yeah, that checks out "

Her husband is a sub but she is not a dom.

#queued post #copied from discord #fiddlemae #fiddlestan #fiddleford mcgucket #emma-mae mcgucket #stanford pines #stanley pines #emma-may dixon #fiddleturnips #polyamory #emma-mae #queer culture #D/s

[fiddleturnips]

....OP, you and I are on the same wavelength.

Ford stfu im tired

#reblog #queued post

[fiddleturnips]

Man this is basically the exact premise of everything I write

⚠: I HOPE YOU ARE CAUSE MAN, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING WHEN YOU SOB LIKE THAT. ANYWAYS, I'M BORED. LET'S GET BACK TO THAT PORTAL.

cursive transcript:

"My Muse has warned me that my assistant may not be committed to the cause [portal]. He thinks that F [Fiddleford] is not bold enough to follow through… …I worry he might be right."

#reblog #queued post

[fiddleturnips]

Stan has a modus operandi. He thinks "man, what do I really wish someone would say to me once in a while" and then he says that, and when Fiddlefore visibly reacts he feels so good that it's like he gets secondhand affirmation.

Stan: I can't expect people to coddle me. I'm a grown man, and showing weakness is a surefire way to make people stop respecting you. Fiddleford: Unappologetically and unselfconsciously loves being told cheesey nice things Stan: ….I would die for this man. If anyone makes fun of him or makes him feel bad I will tear their arm off and hit them with it

They're D/s your honor

Stan's brow wrinkled ever so slightly. He stepped in. "Hey. Gorgeous." His tone of voice was steady, stern. The instant Fiddleford heard it, he changed - he became more still and his expression was softer. He turned his face to Stan. Stan put a hand on his cheek, which immediately flushed red. This spot of coloration did not come with any flustered twitching or embarrassed pulling away; he simply sat, staring up with rapt attention, in Stanley's hands. "You gotta eat, bud," said Stanley. "You need to take care of yourself." Fiddleford dropped his eyes and leaned his face further into Stanley's hand. "…If I make us something quick, will you take a break and eat with me?" Fiddleford nodded. "You're doing good. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you're wonderful and nothing you do can change that."

#fiddleturnips #fiddleford mcgucket #stanley pines #D/s #copied from discord #queued post

[fiddleturnips]

Ford: extremely successful in school, does a traditional education track so well that he's able to get at least fourteen degrees, is so conditioned to be unquestioningly ambitious that he doesn't realize when a powerful third party starts pushing him to harmful extremes.

Turnips!Fiddleford: extremely intelligent but unable to handle a traditional school environment - expected to educate himself to compensate, internalizes that he is responsible for his own success so much that he is almost incapable of recognizing external factors, drives himself to self-medication and psychological breakdown rather than ever risk disappointing people

Emma-Mae: the most academically successful member of her family, works extremely hard for a small fraction of the opportunities others have, many years of pent-up resentment for bigotry against her leads to a correspondingly bigoted attitude, is steadily conditioned to assume anyone who disagrees with her is an idiot

bonus

Stan: Stan's life stops sucking the instant he has a reliable place to sleep and get meals.

This is a story about how Gifted Child Syndrome sucks, btw.

#Emma-Mae McGucket #Fiddleford McGucket #FiddleTurnips #Ford Pines

[fiddleturnips]

I really like this scene so I sketched it. (All content warnings apply.) I'm unlikely to finish the sketch. SA warning below the cut.

#Cw: sa #FiddleTurnips #gravity falls #Fiddlecipher #Bill Cipher #possessed Stanford pines #queued post #I have a new sketch where I give Bill!Ford a more dynamic pose so I might finish it now

[fiddleturnips]

I am seriously toying with the idea of Emma-Mae loving it, btw. Or at least loving the book.

My portrayal of Emma-Mae is a poor Holler girl from the Smokey Mountains who has been trying to squeeze herself into a perfect middle class housewife role since she went to college. Over the course of the story, she not only does a 180, she bolts full speed in the opposite direction, leaning into her "redneck" status with pride and embracing totally anti-modern ideas - such as witchcraft. This comes with a loving disdain for the learned men who relied so hard on science that they literally let a demon run loose. Part of her secretly LOVES it when wealthy city slickers get their comeuppance.

Turnips Fiddleford, a sweet middle class boy from the Tennessee Valley who fell for her in part because he has a thing for Mountain accents, is slightly terrified of her. Fiddleford from the show would have fallen head over heels for this crazy woman all over again.

Fiddleford: regularly plays in public Random dude 1: "Play dueling banjos!" Random dude 2: "Play dueling banjos!" Random dude 3: "Play that song from Deliverance, you know, Dueling Banjos!" Fiddleford: What in tarnation are these guys talking about, let me watch this movie.... Fiddleford, a week later, after vomiting into a trash can outside of the common room with the VHS player: Random dude 4: "Play dueli-" gets hit in the head with a physics textbook

(Deliverance was released in '72.)

#Emma-Mae McGucket #Emma-may Dixon #fiddleford mcgucket #Gravity falls #FiddleTurnips #queued post

[fiddleturnips]

They're D/s your honor

Stan's brow wrinkled ever so slightly. He stepped in. "Hey. Gorgeous." His tone of voice was steady, stern. The instant Fiddleford heard it, he changed - he became more still and his expression was softer. He turned his face to Stan. Stan put a hand on his cheek, which immediately flushed red. This spot of coloration did not come with any flustered twitching or embarrassed pulling away; he simply sat, staring up with rapt attention, in Stanley's hands. "You gotta eat, bud," said Stanley. "You need to take care of yourself." Fiddleford dropped his eyes and leaned his face further into Stanley's hand. "…If I make us something quick, will you take a break and eat with me?" Fiddleford nodded. "You're doing good. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you're wonderful and nothing you do can change that."

#fiddleturnips #fiddleford mcgucket #stanley pines #D/s #copied from discord #This was supposed to be queued but given my last post it seemed necessary to move it up #For context

[fiddleturnips]

At this point I should seriously just drop the pretense of writing fanfiction and make this whole thing an original narrative. Anyway, here's Stan and Ford and the Lesbians:

Note: this story is playing fast and loose with pronouns and queer culture. This is to reflect the fact that these are two cishet men in a lesbian space in the 1980s. It's intentionally written to come off as ignorant, but well-meaning. The narrator is unreliable.

Stan has been getting used to the new routine with Emma-Mae and Fiddleford. They love him, he loves them, and he never knew that you could love family life so much.

But: he is still very much a heterosexual man being thrown into a homoromantic relationship for the first time. Some things are going over his head, and he's struggling to really understand them. He talks to Ford about this; since Ford isn't in the same bedroom situation, all of the others tend to vent their frustrations to him. In this particular instance, Stan is struggling to really know how to take care of a partner who does not like to be touched sexually, but loves to touch others. It feels unfair and imbalanced. It feels like Fiddleford might not really be a part of the sexual experience in the same way, like he might feel left out or used if things continue this way.

Ford, as we have established, has a rather extensive book knowledge of queer culture -- despite having very little sexual, romantic, or gender experience himself. Ford does not fully understand how Fiddleford feels, but he has an idea of who might be able to help.

The problem is... he also fears that to ask for help would be an intrusion. He knows that this is not their community.

He knows it's a risk.

But, science demands risk, so one day, he and Stan tell the other two that they're taking a day out together as brothers, and then they drive into the city.

When they walk into the bookshop, they can feel the tension. This is not their place. They are not wanted here. They are clearly men, clearly straight, and clearly uncomfortable in this aggressively women-only environment. This is the nineteen eighties; queer subcultures can be reclusive and secretive, guarding themselves ferociously against anyone who might be on the side of the law. The fine grains of sex and gender that the 2000s developed, with its free availability of information and universal decriminalization of homosexuality, do not yet exist. Everything about these two big, scruffy, normal-looking men who are clearly not from around here clashes with the intended demographic of the store.

Ford walks up to the counter, awkward as anything. Stan tries to make himself inconspicuous by reading the shelves. The titles are strange, but no stranger than he'd seen on other shelves. They speak of a world that he is not only not part of, but has been intentionally shut out of since birth.

"Excuse me," says Ford, to the red-lipped dyke behind the counter. "I know that we aren't your usual customers, but we're looking for some information that I don't think I can get anywhere else."

She stares at him like he's speaking a different language. There is a second woman, a high femme in heals and perfect hair, who watches with the sort of open, disdainful curiosity you'd see at a zoo. Ford feels small and out of place, but he continues, lowering his voice like they're in a library.

"M-my brother, he has recently entered a, um, a relationship, and h-his partner is - well, his partner does not like to be touched. And I know m-men must experience this sort of thing often enough, but, ah, I have only heard of the phenomenon among women."

The moment, the very moment Ford genders Stan's partner - the moment the ladies realize that these two brothers are not intruders in their space, but pilgrims seeking help - everything changes. The femme woman's eyebrows raise in curiosity, the red-lipped cashier's face becomes animated and attentive.

"Hey, Jay, these guys might be up your alley!"

To Ford's shock, the person who emerges is a man. No, wait - she's... ? Ford does not know if the person who emerged is a man or a woman. He reminds himself yet again that this is not a place where you assume, and that the person very well might not be considered either. This individual, presumably a butch lesbian but perhaps something else, radiates steadiness like the captain of a ship. Ford is suddenly certain that this is the one in charge here.

"How can I help you?" the person asks. The voice is a low alto, or perhaps a high tenor. It does not help.

"My name is Stanford Pines," Ford says, hoping that the use of a real name will be seen as a peace offering - you know me and I am not asking to know you. "This is my brother."

"They're looking for some stone materials," the Femme says to the newcomer. "They seem cool."

The newcomer regards him for a moment, then nods. "You familiar with this kind of stuff?"

"I am, somewhat," Ford says. He feels his shoulders sink with relief. "Only from what I've read, obviously. I do my best to be educated on sexual matters. This is new territory for my brother and his-" - Ford stumbles over the right word - "-lover."

"Yeah, gimme a sec. What's your budget?"

Ford feels even more relief. Money is much easier to exchange than good will. "Fairly high. Probably higher than Stan's patience."

Stan cringes. Ford realizes his mistake, thata first name might a private detail.

Ford swallows, though, and goes on: "But the man he's involved with is an avid reader, and likely needs the encouragement much more than either of us."

"Yeah, I'm not a big reader," Stan mumbles, blushing and hiding his head in his collar.

Their guide explores the shelves, picking out books from the stack with practiced agility. She or he or whatever the gender is brings a sizeable stack to the counter, divided into sections.

"These three are required reading. They should help you get an idea of what you're getting into," the guide says over Ford's shoulder, looking straight at Stanley - who is still avoiding the counter. "The green one is a pretty easy read. I usually give it to younger girls. This is one I've recommended to guys with dicks before. These two are just general use, good to have in the house."

"Ah, I recognize a couple of these," Ford says, beginning to feel more comfortable as the talk gets academic. The femme raises an eyebrow at him, and he shrinks back again.

He's an outsider, he reminds himself again. Don't get too haughty.

They check out. Ford pays in cash. He leaves a sizeable tip, not really caring if it was wanted or expected but knowing that money leaves a mark.

As he rejoins Stan and they begin to walk out, Stan says:

"Do you think he'll go for it?"

And Ford replies:

"Stanley, you know he'll do anything as long as you're the one to ask it of him."

And then, from behind him, a high tenor (or low alto) voice says:

"Wait."

They stop in the doorway and turn back.

The captain of the shop is leaning against the counter. She stares intensely at Stan. She points at him.

"Come here," she says.

Stan swallows. He's never been this intimidated in his life. He walks back toward the counter. This weird lesbian bookmonger commands more respect from him than his own father ever did at his scariest.

Ford, in a moment of cowardice, hangs back.

"Tell me about him."

Stan pushes his hands deep in his pockets. His eyes shift away. He swallows again; his throat is dry.

"He's, uh, he's cute. And real nice. Not like anyone I've had before."

"Is it your first time with a man?"

Stan nods.

"What your brother just said - what was he talking about?"

"Well." Stan looks at the shelves. He looks at the ceiling. He's suddenly protective of his lover, doesn't want to speak badly of him. "He's amazing. Nobody better make fun of him, alright? Don't care if you're a lady or not, sorry I really can't tell, but I'll clock you hard if you make fun of him."

She laughs hard at that low in her chest. The lipstick cashier grins wide.

"Let's say not a lady," she - he? - says. "But on my honor, I won't speak bad about your boy."

"He-" Stan takes his hands from his pockets and begins to play with his sleeves. "He's been through some shit. And he needs someone to take care of him. And he loves it so much, it makes him real happy when I'm there."

Beginning like that, baring his heart to this total stranger, does something to Stan. It does something more than alcohol, more than long sleepless nights on the road. And suddenly, all at once, it's pouring out of his heart, out of his mouth, stinging his eyes, the words are swallowing up the entire rest of the world:

"And he deserves the whole fucking world, you know? He likes it when I order him around a bit, but not, like, all dirty and mean about it, he just likes knowing he's safe, and that I got him, he can let go for a while. He, he trusts me so much, like nothing else, he's like a little baby bird or something or, or a puppy, just needs someone to remind him it's okay. And I'd do anything to take care of him, nobody ever gets to hurt him again if I'm around. But he's kinda, he, he needs it, y'know?"

Stan suddenly looks up, because he needs to see it in this bookstore butch's face, needs to know that he understands, that there's sympathy, and what Stan finds there is the rapt attention of someone who one hundred percent knows exactly what Stan is saying.

"He never knows when to quit! He forgets to take care of himself, and he gets caught up in his head or the nightmares when they get bad, and sometimes I just gotta - I just gotta tell him, y'know? Tell him to sit down and eat something, or go sleep and I've got him while he does, and he, well, he listens to me, y'know? He does what I say. Even when I'm dumb sometimes, way dumber than he is, he, he looks up to me like I'm a fucking rabbi or something, and then he does anything I tell him, and that's, that's, that's terrifying. Dumb idiot like me, and I have the most amazing guy in the whole world and I just, I'm scared of breaking him. Scared I'll screw up, like I screwed up everything else. But I can't, I ain't gonna screw this up. I'll do anything not to screw it up."

Stan runs out of steam. The lipstick cashier is tearing up and pressing her own cheek with one hand. The femme has an arm around her.

"Oh, honey," the femme says, the first words from her mouth this whole time. It's high and bright and as pretty as the rest of her.

Stan drops his head, embarrassed, sure he looks like a stupid sap, the uggliest guy in this damn bookshop, pressing back the tears so hard his cheeks hurt.

The bookmonger puts a strong, heavy hand on Stan's shoulder. Then he lifts it and cuffs Stan's head.

"Hey," he says. "We're all scared. It's worth being scared. It's totally, one hundred percent worth it. And you? I can tell you're gonna be great. Even if you screw it up, remember how you feel right now, and remember that you have something right now that most people never have in their lives. Even if you lose him someday, you remember that."

Stan squeezes his hands into fists. "I don't want to lose him."

The bookmonger shrugs. He doesn't argue.

"Well, anyway," he says.

He grabs a pencil and paper, scribbles an address and the name of a shop on it, tears it off and hands it to Stan. "You head to these guys, you tell them some of what you just told me, about how this guy relies on you to order him around some and how you don't wanna screw it up. They'll help you out."

Stan reads the paper, puzzled. It is embarrassingly obvious from the name that this is a sex shop.

"Uh, okay," he says.

"Now get out," the bookmonger says, although there is little force in the words.

Stan leaves with Ford. As they go, the femme's voice carries: "Oh, they're adorable."

The bookmonger replies: "Eh. Give it time."

Outside on the sidewalk, Ford holds the books in one arm, and they look down at the address. It's a few blocks away, easy enough to reach on foot.

"Well," says Stan, "can't be any more embarrassing than this was."

-

Part Two shall come whenever I have the time and motivation

#Fiddleturnips #Fiddlestan #Lesbians! #stanford pines #Stanley Pines #fiddleford mcgucket (mentioned) #Captain Bookmonger #I need to proofread this but I'm posting it now anyway #Stan and Ford do not know the word “contralto” #Lipstick Cashier #Judgemental Femme

[fiddleturnips]

Basic plot points that mark the story's deviation from canon:

-> Ford still calls Stan to come get the journal. Only, when he takes it far away, everyone else manages to convince Ford that his "TAKE IT AROUND THE WORLD IN A BOAT" reaction is just catastrophizing, as is his terror of damaging the contents. Instead, Stan and Emma-Mae take it to the McGucket house in California.

-> Emma-Mae and Stanford - who are both very smart in their own right; Stanford rebuilt a piece of proprietary technology FROM SCRATCH, people gloss over that - have regular phone conversations with Fiddleford and Ford, and edit out dangerous information such as the eye images. Emma-Mae, who's more book-smart, does a lot of library research to support the search for a solution. Stanley learns to take care of Tate, with generally chaotic results.

-> So, we get a "better world" situation where the Fords have a lot of support from their families.

#queued post #copied from Discord #FiddleTurnips #Emma-Mae #Fiddleford McGucket #Stanley Pines

[fiddleturnips]

Emma-Mae is much simpler: she starts off as a ladylike middle-class Southern housewife, and there is a very particular point at which she stops giving a shit and goes full redneck. You know how we all agree that once Fiddleford is rich, he just keeps being a weird bearded overalls man who won't wear shoes because he's too old to care? Emma-Mae hits her "crazy old person" limit at like thirty.

When I start posting the fic in order I'm really going to have to take some time to edit through Fiddleford's accent for consistency. He code-switches according to consistent rules that I keep forgetting.

I'm also making an effort to avoid overusing dialectical speech, and to clearly show how his speech gets more dialectical over time. But it's haaaaard

#queued post #appalachian dialect #Emma-Mae McGucket #fiddleford mcgucket #FiddleTurnips

[fiddleturnips]

The McGucket-Pines Coparenting Alliance

I also think that, with the way I'm writing them, living with the McGuckets would be good for Stan. In the show, he's a good person and a good grunkle, but you can seriously see where he is passing on toxic attitudes that he picked up as a kid. We already see [in my fic] some of Fiddleford being distressed that Ford was taught all this toxic masculinity bullshit. Fidds and Emma-Mae have a whole different suite of problems, but I think the problems would kind of cancel each other out a bit. Tate learns that you're allowed to be mad and yell and express your emotions honestly, but that you shouldn't punch things because of it.

#queued post #McGucket family #Stanley Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Tate McGucket #Emma-Mae McGucket #FiddleTurnips #polyamory #copied from Discord

[fiddleturnips]

When I start posting the fic in order I'm really going to have to take some time to edit through Fiddleford's accent for consistency. He code-switches according to consistent rules that I keep forgetting.

I'm also making an effort to avoid overusing dialectical speech, and to clearly show how his speech gets more dialectical over time. But it's haaaaard

#Appalachian dialect #fiddleford mcgucket #FiddleTurnips #queued post