fellamarsh

[fellamarsh]

the terrifying angel by miklós radnóti

#poetry

[fellamarsh]

I love you and it's eating me alive.

That's not right.

I love you and it hounds me at night.

That's not right.

I love you and it pulls at my jaw, cuts me off at the knees and makes me crawl; it lines all my creases with hardening clay, it begins to solidify, then stands out in the rain;

I love you and I'm alone in the fight.

That's not right.

I didn't say it right. You didn't do it right. I stood out in the rain, I wanted you to stay.

That's not right.

I loved you and you were only ever a knife.

-

Taglist: @diphthongsfordays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @winterandwords @the-orangeauthor @jaxwrites @abalonetea @revenantlore

#this is really good... #ive read it several times since posting #also... lin and gent. if you think about it. #poetry

[fellamarsh]

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

#once again. kind of lin and gent if you think about it.

[fellamarsh]

The unreleased full version of my Restless Day comic…

#yeah... #comics #art #poetry

[fellamarsh]

First rule of reincarnation is to have insane sex with the guy who killed you last time

#this is kind of lin and gent #if you think about it

[fellamarsh]

yes & no by natalie wee

#lin and gent #taker of the third path #hhhhhh

[fellamarsh]

Word for today: queachy

Soft, moist, quivering, and/or bushy. What? Why are you all looking at me like that

[fellamarsh]

February 2024 Reading Roundup

Hello February. I am late with writing this because so many things have happened near the end of the month but now im here! And what a month it was everyone I started T, went to Puerto Rico, did some secret March activities that I will talk about next reading roundup. I also realized I am running out of time to try restaurants where I live so I have been spending like a madman so RIP to my bank account. This month I feel like has been an up and down for reading. I definitely slowed down a bit at the beginning of the month then panicked and realized I only have a couple weeks before Ramadan starts so I have to finish all my checked out books. I also realized I read too much fantasy so im gunna try to start diversifying my genres a bit but damn do i love my made up worlds. anyway best of luck to me i have like 3 days to finish 4 books.

Favorites of the month: Tadek and the Princess, And Then He Sang A Lullaby

Standalones

Saint Juniper's Folly by Alex Crespo ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Hierarchy of the Unseen by B. Pigeon and Fell A. Marsh ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Membranes by Chi Ta-Wei ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Green Fuses Burning by Tiffany Morris ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Country Will Bring Us No Peace by Matthieu Simard ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Witch King by Martha Wells ⭐⭐⭐.5

Tadek and the Princess by Alexandra Rowland ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

A Vision of Moonlight and Other Stories by Tamara Jeree ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

And Then He Sang A Lullaby by Ani Kayode Somtochukwu ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Cinder the Fireplace Boy and Other Gayly Grimm Tales by Ana Mardoll ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Series

All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Savage Bounty by Matt Wallace ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Savage Crowns by Matt Wallce ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

Malice by Heather Walters ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Misrule by Heather Walters ⭐⭐⭐.5

Nonfiction

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Davis ⭐⭐⭐⭐

#thanks for reading our book~ #also congrats on starting t!!!

[fellamarsh]

Hua Xi, from "The Past Still Needs Me"

#lin #taker of the third path

[fellamarsh]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

#gent #taker of the third path

[fellamarsh]

📣 Call for Beta Readers for Taker of the Third Path 📣

Writeblr! I am super excited to announce that I'm looking for beta readers for Taker of the Third Path! If this is your first time hearing about the project, here's the synopsis:

Directed by the voice on the wind he calls god, traveling hedgewitch Linmiru settles in an abandoned inn at an ancient crossroads to watch for the next person to follow the overgrown “third path." Ton’s prophecy is deceptively simple: the fate of the world rests on Lin meeting the taker. But as the months drag on with this mysterious stranger nowhere in sight, Lin begins to form a connection with one of the inn’s guests that leaves him questioning his devotion to destiny… And when the taker finally does arrive, Linmiru must face the realization that nothing at the old crossroads has been as it seems.

Interested? Here's the details:

Word count: ~100k (split into two approximately equal sections)

Genres: queer romance (trans MLM), fantasy, potential tragedy

Themes and motifs: fate, grief, guilt and forgiveness, the past and the future, healing and redemption, revenge, love, circles and spirals, fate vs choice, names, ghosts, home, family, threads that connect vs threads that bind, journeys and return, power

Desired feedback: Broad strokes! Right now, I'm most interested in what works and what doesn't work about the story, specifically its plot and characters. Feedback about character development and dynamics, pacing, and clarity of concepts is what is most helpful to me. If accepted as a reader, I'll provide you with both a list of specific questions and a place to leave open ended feedback. Utilize either or both!

Beta period: Four to six weeks for each half, with some flexibility. Files and questionnaires for part 1 of the beta will be sent out in mid-April 2024; I anticipate sending out part 2 beginning of June 2024. If accepted as a reader I'll reach out to you in March to confirm your participation.

Content warnings: “Off-screen” child and sexual abuse; explicit, detailed, consensual sexual content; death; threats of violence; self harm; attempted suicide; manipulation; mild hallucinations; natural disasters; forced relocation; imperialist violence. If you would like to inquire about the presence of a specific trigger not mentioned here, please do so in the optional question at the end of the form, send me an ask or DM, or reach out to me via the email in the form.

Interest form here! By filling it out, you're not agreeing to beta for this project---simply indicating your interest to do so, so if you think you might want to do it but aren't totally sure you'll have time yet or etc, you're still more than welcome to submit!

Want to learn more about Taker of the Third Path? Read the full summary (under the cut), browse my taker of the third path tag, or check out a free preview on Patreon!

Linmiru Oddatma has spent the last ten years wandering. In accordance with the agreement they made the day he cast off his childhood name, Lin trusts that Ton, the Windblown, god of things caught in the wind, will lead him to the people who most need the help that he is best equipped to render. He fully intends to dedicate his life to this work. When he pictures his future, it is a spiral widening, taking him ever further from where he’s been before.

He never imagines that Ton will entrust him with a prophecy so powerful and profound that it will change the world.

Now Lin finds himself an innkeeper in the remote Kagognair Fastness, his wandering arrested by lonely days spent watching and waiting for the one who will next travel the overgrown third path outside his door. He does not know what will happen when they meet—but he does know that failing to do so carries deadly consequences.

Thankfully, he has a few distractions to help him pass his long days besides doing divinations to better understand Ton’s instructions. The faerie village of E'Dedga, situated in the adjacent valley, is more than eager to allow him to teach its cadre of magically gifted children. Lin is especially grateful to find Rukne, a boy increasingly alienated from his peers by his start-and-go magical development, among his students. The young faerie is exactly the type of person Lin longs to help the most. Rukne, more than anyone he's ever met, reminds him of the person he lost so long ago.

Naturally, Linmiru has visitors to the inn to entertain as well. His favorite is Olma, an aging wizard who spends her stays cracking jokes, smoking pipeweed, and regaling Lin with stories from her youth. 

But not all of Linmiru’s guests are quite so delightful. In fact, his most regular visitor is anything but.

Linmiru confirmed the day he first met Gent that he is not the taker of the third path—just as he confirmed his wish that the man never come back. Quiet, impenetrable, and with a name that is not a name at all, Gent returns to the Siffsarta with disturbing frequency. Whenever he's not holed up in his room or glaring at him in hateful silence, Gent insults Lin’s religion and interrogates his reasons for running the inn. Lin can handle a bit of rudeness, but Gent’s presence sets him on edge. He seems to want something from Lin; what it is, he has no idea.

But the worst thing about Gent isn’t the fact that he might be dangerous. It’s that, despite all reason, Linmiru is attracted to him.

As the wheel of the seasons turns, Lin learns more about Gent, about the faeries, and about the Fastness—a place of deep magic with a long and ancient history. In contrast, he understands less and less about the coming prophecy. Ton's answers to his questions are vague, cryptic, or absent entirely. Lin's frustration with his situation, with himself, and with his god only grows. He begins to feel—and Ton confirms—that there is something he's not quite seeing.

He doesn’t think Ton means Gent’s attraction to him, unnoticed by Lin until the instant before he first kissed him. Nor does he think Ton means the realization, deep into the nights he spends with Gent, that he is starting not to care about the prophecy. If he could get to the heart of what has brought Gent here, of what happened in his past, and help this man who is somehow more gentle with him than anyone has ever been, he wouldn't mind if the world as he knew it came to an end. Maybe then the dreams of his past that increasingly plague him would end, too.

As winter bears down—as Lin finds Rukne ostracized by the people of his village—as he learns the terrible meaning behind Gent's real name—as the past and the future run together, compressing into the present, Lin finds himself, at a critical moment, unable to move. The truth behind Ton’s prophecy is nothing like he ever expected.

If he doesn't want everything to end when he finally confronts the taker of the third path, Linmiru will have to be like a spiral, and turn away in the same movement that he turns back.

[fellamarsh]

it rules to be a transgender writer because writing trans themes is easy as fuck. it's easy as fuck dude. trans themes basically write themselves. change is the fundamental motor of storytelling. guess what else is all about change bitch

[fellamarsh]

really strange how you can be almost at peace with something that happened to you but it will continue to be a defining moment of your life for the rest of your life. you wont think about it much anymore but in a conversation about a film someone will mention the year it was released and you’ll think to yourself, “that was before it happened” and you’ll see an old photo and think how strange it is to have existed before it happened and somehow it’s like living a life in two acts

#lin and gent #taker of the third path

[fellamarsh]

📣 Call for Beta Readers for Taker of the Third Path 📣

Writeblr! I am super excited to announce that I'm looking for beta readers for Taker of the Third Path! If this is your first time hearing about the project, here's the synopsis:

Directed by the voice on the wind he calls god, traveling hedgewitch Linmiru settles in an abandoned inn at an ancient crossroads to watch for the next person to follow the overgrown “third path." Ton’s prophecy is deceptively simple: the fate of the world rests on Lin meeting the taker. But as the months drag on with this mysterious stranger nowhere in sight, Lin begins to form a connection with one of the inn’s guests that leaves him questioning his devotion to destiny… And when the taker finally does arrive, Linmiru must face the realization that nothing at the old crossroads has been as it seems.

Interested? Here's the details:

Word count: ~100k (split into two approximately equal sections)

Genres: queer romance (trans MLM), fantasy, potential tragedy

Themes and motifs: fate, grief, guilt and forgiveness, the past and the future, healing and redemption, revenge, love, circles and spirals, fate vs choice, names, ghosts, home, family, threads that connect vs threads that bind, journeys and return, power

Desired feedback: Broad strokes! Right now, I'm most interested in what works and what doesn't work about the story, specifically its plot and characters. Feedback about character development and dynamics, pacing, and clarity of concepts is what is most helpful to me. If accepted as a reader, I'll provide you with both a list of specific questions and a place to leave open ended feedback. Utilize either or both!

Beta period: Four to six weeks for each half, with some flexibility. Files and questionnaires for part 1 of the beta will be sent out in mid-April 2024; I anticipate sending out part 2 beginning of June 2024. If accepted as a reader I'll reach out to you in March to confirm your participation.

Content warnings: “Off-screen” child and sexual abuse; explicit, detailed, consensual sexual content; death; threats of violence; self harm; attempted suicide; manipulation; mild hallucinations; natural disasters; forced relocation; imperialist violence. If you would like to inquire about the presence of a specific trigger not mentioned here, please do so in the optional question at the end of the form, send me an ask or DM, or reach out to me via the email in the form.

Interest form here! By filling it out, you're not agreeing to beta for this project---simply indicating your interest to do so, so if you think you might want to do it but aren't totally sure you'll have time yet or etc, you're still more than welcome to submit!

Want to learn more about Taker of the Third Path? Read the full summary (under the cut), browse my taker of the third path tag, or check out a free preview on Patreon!

Linmiru Oddatma has spent the last ten years wandering. In accordance with the agreement they made the day he cast off his childhood name, Lin trusts that Ton, the Windblown, god of things caught in the wind, will lead him to the people who most need the help that he is best equipped to render. He fully intends to dedicate his life to this work. When he pictures his future, it is a spiral widening, taking him ever further from where he’s been before.

He never imagines that Ton will entrust him with a prophecy so powerful and profound that it will change the world.

Now Lin finds himself an innkeeper in the remote Kagognair Fastness, his wandering arrested by lonely days spent watching and waiting for the one who will next travel the overgrown third path outside his door. He does not know what will happen when they meet—but he does know that failing to do so carries deadly consequences.

Thankfully, he has a few distractions to help him pass his long days besides doing divinations to better understand Ton’s instructions. The faerie village of E'Dedga, situated in the adjacent valley, is more than eager to allow him to teach its cadre of magically gifted children. Lin is especially grateful to find Rukne, a boy increasingly alienated from his peers by his start-and-go magical development, among his students. The young faerie is exactly the type of person Lin longs to help the most. Rukne, more than anyone he's ever met, reminds him of the person he lost so long ago.

Naturally, Linmiru has visitors to the inn to entertain as well. His favorite is Olma, an aging wizard who spends her stays cracking jokes, smoking pipeweed, and regaling Lin with stories from her youth. 

But not all of Linmiru’s guests are quite so delightful. In fact, his most regular visitor is anything but.

Linmiru confirmed the day he first met Gent that he is not the taker of the third path—just as he confirmed his wish that the man never come back. Quiet, impenetrable, and with a name that is not a name at all, Gent returns to the Siffsarta with disturbing frequency. Whenever he's not holed up in his room or glaring at him in hateful silence, Gent insults Lin’s religion and interrogates his reasons for running the inn. Lin can handle a bit of rudeness, but Gent’s presence sets him on edge. He seems to want something from Lin; what it is, he has no idea.

But the worst thing about Gent isn’t the fact that he might be dangerous. It’s that, despite all reason, Linmiru is attracted to him.

As the wheel of the seasons turns, Lin learns more about Gent, about the faeries, and about the Fastness—a place of deep magic with a long and ancient history. In contrast, he understands less and less about the coming prophecy. Ton's answers to his questions are vague, cryptic, or absent entirely. Lin's frustration with his situation, with himself, and with his god only grows. He begins to feel—and Ton confirms—that there is something he's not quite seeing.

He doesn’t think Ton means Gent’s attraction to him, unnoticed by Lin until the instant before he first kissed him. Nor does he think Ton means the realization, deep into the nights he spends with Gent, that he is starting not to care about the prophecy. If he could get to the heart of what has brought Gent here, of what happened in his past, and help this man who is somehow more gentle with him than anyone has ever been, he wouldn't mind if the world as he knew it came to an end. Maybe then the dreams of his past that increasingly plague him would end, too.

As winter bears down—as Lin finds Rukne ostracized by the people of his village—as he learns the terrible meaning behind Gent's real name—as the past and the future run together, compressing into the present, Lin finds himself, at a critical moment, unable to move. The truth behind Ton’s prophecy is nothing like he ever expected.

If he doesn't want everything to end when he finally confronts the taker of the third path, Linmiru will have to be like a spiral, and turn away in the same movement that he turns back.

#taker of the third path #call for beta readers #writeblr

[fellamarsh]

Psst expect to see more Taker of the Third Path posts for the next few weeks... because I'm ✨ opening betas soon ✨

[fellamarsh]

WIP Reintro: Taker of the Third Path

The spiral spins away in the same movement that it turns back.

Directed by the voice on the wind he calls god, traveling hedgewitch Linmiru settles in an abandoned inn at an old crossroads to watch for the next person to follow the overgrown "third path". Ton's prophecy is deceptively simple: the fate of the world rests on Lin meeting the taker. But as the months drag on with this mysterious individual nowhere in sight, Lin begins to form a connection with one of the inn's guests that leaves him questioning his devotion to destiny... And when the taker finally does arrive, Linmiru must face the realization that nothing at the old crossroads has been as it seems.

Details

Genre: Original world adult fantasy, M/M romance + erotica, prophecy/quest narrative

Expected wordcount: 80-100k

Themes and motifs: grief, guilt and forgiveness, healing and redemption, circles and spirals, fate vs choice, names, ghosts, home, family, threads that connect vs threads that bind, journeys and return, stories, time loops, power

Major Characters

Linmiru Oddatma (he/him, human, 30ish) priest, hedgewitch, teacher, trick magic enthusiast, our MC

Gent (he/him, human, 30ish), frequent guest at the Siffsarta, apparent wanderer, refuses to give his real name, hates Lin on sight, dubious love interest

Rukne (he/him, faerie, tween) resident of E'Dedga, Lin's student, Hinno's best friend, at risk for "wild magic", grumpy

Hinno (he/him, faerie, tween) resident of E'Dedga, Lin's student, Rukne's best friend, sunshine

Olma (she/her, human, 70ish) wizard, merchant, frequent guest at the Siffsarta, weed grandma

Sahiln (she/her, faerie, 40s?) resident of E'Dedga, occupation is "keeper of the past", Rukne's heart mother

Bacsi (they/them, elf, 30s and 40s) priest of Ton, Lin's old teacher

Content warnings: "Off-screen" child and sexual abuse; self harm; attempted suicide; natural disasters; forced relocation; imperialist violence

Synopsis (below the cut):

Linmiru Oddatma has spent the last ten years wandering. In accordance with the agreement they made the day he cast off his childhood name, Lin trusts that Ton, the Windblown, god of things caught in the wind, will lead him to the people who most need the help that he is best equipped to render. He fully intends to dedicate his life to this work. When he pictures his future, it is a spiral widening, taking him ever further from where he’s been before.

He never imagines that Ton will entrust him with a prophecy so powerful and profound that it will change the world.

Now Lin finds himself an innkeeper in the remote Kagognair Fastness, his wandering arrested by lonely days spent watching and waiting for the one who will next travel the overgrown third path outside his door. He does not know what will happen when they meet—but he does know that failing to do so carries deadly consequences.

Thankfully, he has a few distractions to help him pass his long days besides doing divinations to better understand Ton’s instructions. The faerie village of E'Dedga, situated in the adjacent valley, is more than eager to allow him to teach its cadre of magically gifted children. Lin is especially grateful to find Rukne, a boy increasingly alienated from his peers by his start-and-go magical development, among his students. The young faerie is exactly the type of person Lin longs to help the most. Rukne, more than anyone he's ever met, reminds him of the person he lost so long ago.

Naturally, Linmiru has visitors to the inn to entertain as well. His favorite is Olma, an aging wizard who spends her stays cracking jokes, smoking pipeweed, and regaling Lin with stories from her youth. 

But not all of Linmiru’s guests are quite so delightful. In fact, his most regular visitor is anything but.

Linmiru confirmed the day he first met Gent that he is not the taker of the third path—just as he confirmed his wish that the man never come back. Quiet, impenetrable, and with a name that is not a name at all, Gent returns to the Siffsarta with disturbing frequency. Whenever he's not holed up in his room or glaring at him in hateful silence, Gent insults Lin’s religion and interrogates his reasons for running the inn. Lin can handle a bit of rudeness, but Gent’s presence sets him on edge. He seems to want something from Lin; what it is, he has no idea.

But the worst thing about Gent isn’t the fact that he might be dangerous. It’s that, despite all reason, Linmiru is attracted to him.

As the wheel of the seasons turns, Lin learns more about Gent, about the faeries, and about the Fastness—a place of deep magic with a long and ancient history. In contrast, he understands less and less about the coming prophecy. Ton's answers to his questions are vague, cryptic, or absent entirely. Lin's frustration with his situation, with himself, and with his god only grows. He begins to feel—and Ton confirms—that there is something he's not quite seeing.

He doesn’t think Ton means Gent’s attraction to him, unnoticed by Lin until the instant before he first kissed him. Nor does he think Ton means the realization, deep into the nights he spends with Gent, that he is starting not to care about the prophecy. If he could get to the heart of what has brought Gent here, of what happened in his past, and help this man who is somehow more gentle with him than anyone has ever been, he wouldn't mind if the world as he knew it came to an end. Maybe then the dreams of his past that increasingly plague him would end, too.

As winter bears down—as Lin finds Rukne ostracized by the people of his village—as he learns the terrible meaning behind Gent's real name—as the past and the future run together, compressing into the present, Lin finds himself, at a critical moment, unable to move. The truth behind Ton’s prophecy is nothing like he ever expected.

If he doesn't want everything to end when he finally confronts the taker of the third path, Linmiru will have to be like a spiral, and turn away in the same movement that he turns back.

[fellamarsh]

“the ending is always the same”

war of the foxes - richard silken / waterloo - ABBA / euripides’ medea - the little theatre / anne carson / the three fates - luca cambiaso / the oresteia - aeschylus / road to hell II - hadestown / when i met you - mira lightner / andersen’s fairy tale anthology

#taker of the third path