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Chapter 4 - And I Can't Tell You Why, Because My Brain Can't Equate It

“lost in the moment, with no words to speak”

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

“Um Kali—“ Zayn had been pumping for at least 5 minutes but the mattress refused to inflate. “There’s definitely a puncture in this.” He held up the tattered mattress and shoved his fist inside the giant hole I’d clearly had no idea about.

“Oh—“ I bit my lip, “so that’s what my brother meant when he said it was slightly damaged.” I slapped my hand to my forehead in frustration—I’d paid him 25 pound for the stupid thing.

“Yeah,” he continued to fiddle with the hole, “just slightly—“ he managed to shove his whole arm up there.

The two of us burst into a fit of laughter as he lobbed it across the room. As we laughed, I noticed that when he smiled—genuinely smiled, his eyes crinkled by their sides, it was a small detail, but I loved it.

“Fuck,” he spoke as we settled down, “what are we gonna do?” He leaned back on his forearms, showing off the waist I’d been enamoured with earlier.

I grabbed my water bottle from beside me and stared down at my tiny bed as I unscrewed the lid.

“You know I won’t do any weird shit if you let me up there right.” He was talking about my bed. I did know he wouldn’t, I trusted him. In the short time I’d known him, he’d been nothing but good and genuine.

“I dunno—“ I bit at my lip nervously, before remembering that there was nothing going on between us, and it would be fine because he didn’t like me the way I liked him. “I guess I could tolerate it, but the fact that I’ll be shit scared tonight cause of the movie we watched does contribute.”

“I’ll protect you don’t worry,” he winked before pulling his shirt off. He was already in a tattered pair of football shorts so I guessed he was fine to sleep in those. I could never understand how boys slept in so little clothing.

“Thank you I’ll need it.” I was dead serious, if he wasn’t staying the night I 500% already would’ve been in Hailee’s bed, or AJ’s if he was home. “You have to take the wall side.” I got out of the bed so he could jump in.

“Thanks, I’m gonna suffocate and die.” He spoke sarcastically as he jumped in.

“Wonderful, that’s just what I wanted.” I tried to put myself in a position where we weren’t touching, but it was impossible—my single bed was too tiny.

“I won’t bite,” he whispered, “you can come closer—“ his arm snaked around my waist as he tried to pull me in.

“Shut up.” I slapped his hand away. My body was giddy. I hated him. I readjusted myself so that I was actually in a comfortable position, but not too touchy.

There was an awkward silence for about 5 seconds before he said goodnight.

My head was turned away from his, so he couldn’t the look of utter confusion on my face as I pondered what to do—and then I decided, in what can only be described as a bold choice of movements to grab his arm and wrap it around me. “Goodnight,” I whispered back, he shuffled lightly and I could almost feel the smile creep onto his face as he pulled me closer.

—

I couldn’t help but feel guilty when I woke up. What the fuck was I doing? Was I really that disjointed after my breakup that I was losing my mind? The thought didn’t surpass me. I had let the beautiful specimen spoon me, but he had wanted to spoon me? Was it a platonic spoon? I had no idea, everything was too much for me to think about. I wished the earth would swallow me whole so I could avoid overthinking it.

I grabbed my phone to check the time—it was only 8:30am, I hadn’t even had a full 8 hours. My body 100% had noted the awkward thoughts inside my head and instead of letting me avoid them by dreaming of sunshine and happiness, my brain woke me up.

I scrolled through the messages I’d received whilst I was asleep—and almost choked when I saw one from Dan.

“Can’t stop thinking about us and what happened, please meet me, you’ve avoided my calls all week. I don’t know what else to do.”

I was ready to gag—after hearing about all my friends’ deep-rooted hatred for him I couldn’t even stand the sight of his name. I had been doing so well at avoiding him, but that was because he’d only called me twice and I knew his class schedule, so it was easy to make sure I wasn’t in the same place at the same time—when I really thought about it, I was actually surprised he hadn’t messaged me earlier.

“Go back to sleep,” Zayn grumbled from beside me, his arm moving me lightly so he could get his message across.

“Sorry,” I whispered as I wriggled back into position. My heart didn’t even backflip—I mentally patted myself on the back. Who would’ve thought that it’d take one night in bed and an annoying text from Dan to get me out of my funk.

I knew I had time, so I slowly let myself drift back to sleep—I told myself that I was going to enjoy the moment—not spend it thinking about why it was wrong or weird, I was doing that far too often when all I needed to do was appreciate what was happening.

—

The alarm that I’d set the night before for 10:30am blared through my room and I almost punched myself in the face—except I couldn’t because I tangled between Zayn’s limbs. I had latched on—more than latched—I was holding on for dear life.

“Why god?” He muttered to himself as the sound of my alarm assaulted his ears—he was still half asleep.

I quickly detached myself from him, hoping he’d be so thick with sleep he’d think it was just a dream. When I’d allowed my brain to detach from awkward thoughts at 8am it must’ve gone straight back to “boyfriend in my bed mode” and just done whatever it damn felt like.

I sat up and grabbed my water bottle from the bedside table.

“You are so cute when you sleep.” He slowly moved to sit up, grabbing the bottle from me in the process.

“Many would say the same.” I rolled my eyes.

“Many?” He raised an eyebrow, “you’ve had one vanilla boyfriend for the past three years.” It was an attack that I did not need to hear.

“Wow,” I narrowed my eyes as I watched him gulp down MY water, whilst he insulted me “savage.”

“So, I’m right?” He smirked. He was right, the facts were too real, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him.

“Shut up.” I snatched the bottle back.

“You were 100% scared last night.” He grinned as if it were something to be excited about.

“No, I wasn’t.” I wasn’t lying, I had no recollection of what I’d dreamt about—which in my eyes was a great thing, because if I had been scared, I didn’t have to re-live the terrifying scenes.

“Uhhhh, you definitely were, you spent the whole night holding onto me the way you had been just then.” Dammit, I mentally cursed—he had realised. “I’d say you let go for maybe two hours.” He was loving the fact that me in my dream state needed him. “I’m pretty sure you were like crying at one stage too.”

I wanted to let out a loud groan internally, but my body wasn’t functioning properly, so I let it out externally. I was embarrassed, so, so, so embarrassed. How could my brain have let me down like that? Sometimes I was my own worst enemy.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He smiled the smile that told me he was genuine, but I just couldn’t smile back—I was the fucking worst.

A knock on my door, startled me—my brain went to push Zayn off the bed, but there was nowhere to push him off, instead, I pushed him straight into the wall.

“Owwww,” he groaned as he rubbed his shoulder. The knock came again—his eyes darted between me, the door and his shoulder. “Come in” he called out without warning, as if he were trying to punish me for hurting him.

I gasped in horror as my door creaked opened—I didn’t know what to do so I flung myself off my bed and onto the floor. Hailee stood in my doorway eyeing me down, she then looked towards my bed where Zayn was waving at her like the little demon he was.

“What are you doing on the floor?” She questioned.

“Um, nothing.” I patted the carpet, “I slept here.” I was not being convincing, especially because she’d probably heard me hit the damn floor with a ‘thud’.

“Right, Okay. Well—I heard your alarm and wanted to know if you guys wanted to get breakfast.” She was watching me carefully, I was still stroking the carpet. “Will you get up.” She scolded me.

I pouted as I rose to my feet and sat myself on the edge of the bed, making sure to also elbow Zayn in the ribs. He let out a grunt in pain and I smiled in satisfaction—that would teach him not to play games with me.

“Yes we can go for breakfast.” I agreed, I turned to Zayn, “Do you wanna come?” I was inviting him out of courtosey, but deep down I wanted a little break so that I could get my thoughts assembled.

“I can’t,” he said regretfully, “I gotta get to work at 12.” He was still holding onto his rib.

“That’s a shame,” Hailee lied. She loved that he wouldn’t be attending, because she wanted to milk me for goss. “I’ll ask Lily and AJ if they wanna join.” When she said that I knew she was really assembling the gang for a big, fat gossip.

“Do you know if he’s home?” Zayn asked, “cause if he isn’t I’m wearing Kali’s clothes to work.” He was joking, I hoped—I wouldn’t put something like that past him. He would also 100% fit in my clothes, if anyone fit the saying “snap like a twig” it was him.

“He’s home,” she laughed lightly.

“Wonderful,” he shuffled past me to hop off the bed. “See you girls later, thanks for letting me crash.” He pulled his shirt over his head and grabbed his phone before sauntering out like a nobody.

As soon as I heard my front door close I let out the loudest groan of frustration and feel back onto my bed.

“Okay,” Hailee took a seat beside me, “are you gonna tell me what the fuck I just witnessed? I know you didn’t sleep on this bloody floor.” I knew I hadn’t convinced her.

“Ohhhhhhh, I’m so done for.” I clapped my hands to my face. “Nothing happened, promise, we just slept in the same bed cause the fucking mattress had a hole in it.” I was honestly going to kill my brother, but also send him a thank you letter.

“Then why are you done for?!” She asked as if it weren’t blatantly obvious.

“Because I think I REALLY like him, and we’re out here sharing a bed platonically and I was latched onto him for the whole damn night.” I was just spouting words, I didn’t even know if they made sense. “And he held my handdddddd—“ I whined, “he held my hand in the scary parts—Dan never did that. AND DAN,” I’d forgotten about Daniel completely. “DAN SENT ME A MESSAGE THIS MORNING SAYING HE WANTS TO TALK.” I was almost on the verge of tears, I was having a nervous breakdown. It was warranted, but unexpected all the same.

“I don’t know how you think he doesn’t like you.” She shook her head, “I think he likes you as much as you like him.”

“OR—“ I stopped her, “he’s just a really great friend.” I nervously played with the hem of my PJ top. The whole situation was making me feel sick.

“I dunno,” she sighed, both were pretty valid and I was 100% leaning towards my option.

I knew that I caught feelings too easily, someone could hold the door open for me and I’d fall in love—which explained why I’d dated Dan for three years, cause he was the only one who was interested. Zayn has only known me for approximately 5 days, there was no way he was feeling what I was feeling, I knew he was purely in it for friendship.

“Let’s just go eat,” I cried, “I need an eggs benny to cheer me up.” There were few things that could cheer me up, but food and friendship were definitely certain to make me feel better.

—

“Soooo,” AJ smirked as soon as he sat down at the table—he was staring directly at me.

“What?” Lily asked him, she had no idea what was going on.

“You and my cousin huh?” He was still talking directly at me, a stupid smile etched on his face.

“Your cousin and my foot up his ass.” I replied, “he’s so annoying.” I was worried, because I didn’t know if Zayn had said anything to him. If he had told him we’d slept in the same bed I’d be done for, but Zayn seemed pretty private.

“Oh cmon,” AJ waved off my comment, “you guys, so cute.” He was joking, but I wished he wasn’t. “You know he’s single right?

“Am I missing something here?” Lily continued to question us.

“Zayn is AJ’s cousin, but other than that nothing else.” Hailee informed her. I was glad she hadn’t brought up what had happened in the morning, I would’ve died if she had.

“Wow.” Lily shook her head, “small world.”

“Indeed,” AJ agreed. “And what about you Hailee, what’s new? Give us an update on your love life.” He flipped through the menu as he interrogated her.

“My love life is a shit hole, honestly just don’t know what’s going on—men are trash.” She sighed heavily and picked up her phone to scroll through messages.

“Amen.” I agreed, “Dan wants me to meet up with him.” I informed Lily and AJ.

“You should go,” AJ said.

“What?! Why?!” I was completely stumped, “you hate him.”

“You should go and tell him why you don’t want to be with him anymore, remind him how shit he is and crush his heart into tiny little pieces.” He spoke the words nonchalantly as he sipped on his water.

“Harsh,” Hailee commented, she hated conflict and being overly mean.

“I like it,” Lily nodded, “break him down.” She made a fist with her hand and squeezed.

“I wouldn’t even know what to say?!” I picked at my sweater. The polyester was starting to bead and I really needed a new one, but I was having trouble finding ones that fit me as nicely as the one I was wearing did.

“How about, why didn’t you ever hold my hand during scary movies?” Hailee suggested—my leg moved to kick her so quickly it was unbelievable. She let out a small chuckle and I shook my head. The other two didn’t even pretend to figure out what she was trying to say.

“We should go to this event tomorrow night—“ AJ completely changed the topic, “I wanna take Zayn out.”

“Surely he’s been out on campus?” I raised an eyebrow. There was so much to do and I was pretty sure he’d been around longer than us.

“Nah, he’s been cuffed up for the past 3 years, hasn’t gotten out much. She was very controlling.” AJ waved the waiter over, and we all pretended like we didn’t see what he was doing—He was very impatient when it came to restaurants, the type of impatient that made you uncomfortable.

“Jheeze, I wonder who else has been living that way?” Hailee murmured as they all looked towards me.

“Lies!” I disagreed, “I used to come out with you guys.” I never missed any of their parties or events. I may not have gone out excessively when I was dating Dan, but I made sure I was always there for them.

“Not often.” Aj fired back. “Which is why we should push you two fresh singles out into the open.” He loved playing love guru and it killed me.

“I’m down for going out, I was never opposed to this idea—“ I had no idea why the plan was falling back on me.

“Then it’s settled, we go out.” He winked. “I’ll buy the tickets, you guys can just give me the cash.” I could see him opening up the facebook page to make the purchase—the devil worked hard, but he worked harder. The boy knew what he wanted in life and I did admire it. -

“Hey K—“ my room door was left slightly ajar, leaving room for my flatmate Kathy to pop her head in. “Ooooooooo,” she stared at me from head to toe, “you look lovely, haven’t seen you dressed up in a long time.” She shimmied into my room, a bottle of wine in her hand.

I let out a light laugh as I continued to swipe powder across my face. “Thank you, what’s up?” She never came to see me unless she needed to borrow something.

“Do you have any nice perfume I can borrow, I’m out?” She was surveying herself in my mirror and I watched on curiously as she pulled down on her eyelid and stared at it—I had no idea what she was doing but didn’t question it. I could also smell her red wine breath from where she was standing and it made me feel slightly sick.

“Mmmmmmm, yeah—“ I handed her a bottle of Victoria’s Secret body spray that had been laying in my cupboard for a year and a half. I was never going to use it so I was fine with letting her go for it. “Here you go, use as much as you want.”

“Thanks! You’re a legend. Will return it later—“ She waltzed out of my room, I knew she wasn’t going to return it. She never returned my stuff, and if she did it was weirdly disfigured—hence why I’d gotten into the habit of giving her stuff I didn’t use.

I stared at myself in the mirror—I looked good, I really did, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that it just wasn’t good enough. I really wanted to look amazing, but I felt like my whole look had turned out average.

My mind always seemed to remind me that there would be someone skinnier or prettier—someone who people would look at and their jaws would drop—I wasn’t that person, I bloody tried my best to be her, but my inner demons didn’t let me forget that I wasn’t enough. Things had been easier when I was with Dan, he was always there to remind me that I was okay enough to be with. He didn’t boost my morale much with his words, but his presence had helped. Ever since I had admitted to myself and Hailee that I did like Zayn, things were a bit harder for me. It was going to be much harder to try and make him like me, especially because he was significantly better looking than Dan and there was no doubt that girls would be throwing themselves at him.

I felt dejected as I ruffled my through my hair one more time—it was way too thin and made my head look rounder than it was, purely because it was so flat. I touched up my eyeliner before stepping back—it was the last time I was going to look at myself. I wasn’t going to think about changing, even though the thought had run through my mind 500 times. I swept over my bodysuit where some stray power had fallen and hiked up my jeans—I reminded myself that I was fine, grabbed my purse, made my bed and headed into the lounge.

“Fuck meeeeee,” Lily called as I stepped into the lounge area, “you look fit as hell! Loving the titties.” She was referring to the plunge in my bodysuit. I looked down and smiled, she’d already made me feel ten times better than I had when I’d left my room.

“Agree.” Hailee nodded, passing me my bottle of wine as I took a seat next to AJ.

“I mean, I’d say the hair needs work, but other than that you look fine.” He tried to reach for my hair but I swatted his hand away. That was as close to a compliment as I’d ever get.

“Thank you, I love you all.” My friends knew how to ease my mind when I was my own worst enemy.

“See this is so nice,” Hailee said intently as she watched me unscrew the lid on my bottle. “We haven’t gotten drunk like this in so long!” They were more than ready for me to break my sobriety.

I took a sip of my wine and gagged—the first sip was always the worst. “Hopefully I do not vomit tonight.” I hadn’t been drunk in so long, my tolerance was at an all-time low and the danger levels were high.

“Remember when you vomited in your own hair and asked whose vomit it was? Classic!” Hailee had cracked herself up and almost spilt her drink as she rocked back in laughter.

“Ha ha ha,” I tried not to laugh, but it was so hard to hold it in—I really did the most to embarrass myself.

“Where’s Zayn?” I turned to ask AJ who was scrolling through the playlist he’d curated. I had expected him to be out in the lounge already and had mentally prepared myself to see him.

“Having a fag.” His eyes didn’t budge from the screen.

I nodded, despite the fact that he wasn’t looking at me and took another swig of my wine. I was terrified to see him, I knew that in the back of my mind I just wanted him to think I looked good and I hated myself for it. I wasn’t supposed to be dressing for someone else, I was supposed to be living my life for me and me only.

As if right on cue the front door opened and I suddenly glued my eyes to my phone. I didn’t want to look at him, but it was inevitable when he sat himself right next to me.

“Alright?” He smiled, he stank of fresh air and stale cigarette smoke. I wished it would’ve made him look more putrid, but it didn’t, it made him look ten times better.

“Good, you?” I panicked and drank more wine. He looked effortlessly good in his skinny jeans, black t-shirt and leather jacket—I was so weak it was sad, I didn’t want to stop looking at him. He wore the same thing to work, but there was something so different about it in the damn setting we were in.

“Yeah fine,” he ran a hand through his hair and picked up a beer from the table. “You look nice by the way, is this a post break-up revenge look?” he leaned forward to grab the bottle opener. His eyes floated to my boobs as he moved and I pretended not to notice.

“No, I have no need for that.” I scrolled through my Instagram feed. I could feel my face heating up and I was hoping with everything I had that I wasn’t turning even slightly pink.

“Don’t lie,” AJ finally set his phone down. “Dan texted her this morning saying he wants to talk, and she knows he’s going to be there tonight, hence the look.” He hit Zayn upside the head and from the corner of my eyes I watched him signal that his eyes needed to be up not down. Zayn didn’t even respond, he just shook his head and returned back to his phone.

“Are we forgetting that I broke up with him?” I threw my hands into the air, “I have nothing to prove to that loser!” I didn’t even know Dan was going to be in attendance. He could suck my big toe for all I cared—as the days went by I was realising how much better life was without him beside me. When I was in “love” I mistook his controlling ways as affection.

“But you’re gonna crush his soul with the way you look tonight.” Lily nodded, my gal was always in support of everything I did.

Zayn chuckled as he took a sip, “I’ve opened a can of worms.”

“Like always.” I rolled my eyes and chugged down more wine—I was definitely in for a long night. “You all look great tonight by the way, I’m so glad to have such an attractive group of best friends.” It wasn’t even a compliment for the sake of friendship, I really meant what I said.

“I always look good.” Zayn smirked.

“I said best friends.” I took another sip of wine. “You’re not.” I patted him on the back and got back to what I was doing, pretending like I didn’t care when I really did.

“So you don’t wanna be friends?” He asked, running a finger over my knee.

“I didn’t say that.” I grabbed his hand and moved it away.

“Okay little miss goddess, we’ll see.”

—

I hadn’t been out in so long that I’d actually forgotten how to conduct myself in a club. I just stood in the middle of the dance floor for a second, a bit dazed and confused. I was still with Lily and Hailee, AJ had gone for a cigarette and Zayn had disappeared.

I was bobbing my head to what I assumed was EDM music and just tried my best to vibe with it. I was drunk, real drunk, but it was a good buzz that I hadn’t felt in a while. It didn’t however stop me from being pissed off that Zayn had practically run away. We’d been at the club for 2 hours and he hadn’t come back once, my feelings were hurt—but I wasn’t surprised, I knew my efforts to look good had been in vain.

I wondered a little away from the girls for a second, wanting to head over to the bar to get myself another drink—but before I could even move 10 steps a hand grabbed my wrist from behind. I spiralled around to see who it was and almost fell straight onto my arse.

“Hey babe,” Dan tried to pull me in for a hug, but I backed away. I had no idea why he thought he had permission to hug me.

“Hey,” I shouted over the music as I wriggled my wrist free. “You alright?” I asked out of common courtesy—I didn’t really care how he was.

“Yeah,” he leaned in to speak to me so he didn’t have to shout, “can we go out into the smokers area to have a chat?” He was disgustingly close, and it made my skin crawl. I honestly did not know how I’d coped when he was around me 24/7.

I thought about his proposition for a second and was about to say no—but I also knew that if I didn’t say yes, he’d keep annoying me, so I nodded and began to lead the way. It wasn’t going to kill me to try and have a chat with him, but I also knew deep down that I probably wouldn’t listen to a word he was going to say. I loved myself for the ability to tune him out.

As we walked, I made sure to maintain my distance, I did not want him getting any sort of impression. When we hit the corner I had to stop in my tracks—my feet rooted themselves into the ground and I honestly felt like someone had slapped me straight on the face. I was being confronted by Zayn with his tongue down someone else’s throat and all I could do was stare. I wasn’t even subtly staring, I was stood there, my mouth wide open and my heart pounding in my chest as I watched him snog the pink haired beauty. All I could see was her side profile, but I knew she’d have to be out of this world beautiful if she was kissing him.

My heart didn’t know how to feel—part of me said “I told you, you weren’t good enough” and the other part said “you’re actually crazy, the two of you are just friends.” My chest felt heavy, the weight could not be described. I could feel the lump in my throat begin to rise, and I couldn’t do anything except continue to watch.

“Why have you stopped—“ Dan continued to push me forward. Zayn stayed in his spot, not even noticing me. “C’mon,” he leaped in front of me and pulled me forward.

“No,” I groaned as I pulled back. I didn’t want to talk to anyone in that moment, let alone to him. “I don’t want to talk to you, just fuck off and leave me alone.” I knew I was snapping and was slightly out of line, but I didn’t care. “Just get over it, you treated me like shit and you were fucking boring—I don’t want to be with you Dan, get over it.” I balled my hands into fists and stormed off—I’d left him standing there gobsmacked—he was too shocked to even chase after me.

I rounded the corner and found my way back to Hailee and Lily, I bounced my way back to beside them and tried my best to pretend nothing was wrong. “I’m gonna get a drink,” I told them, “does anyone want one?” I was moving into damage control and I didn’t even care—situations like the one I was in could only be fixed by alcohol.

They both shook their heads and I nodded. I stormed towards the bar and bitterly ordered myself a vodka red bull. As soon as I got it I almost chugged it down.

“Fuck it all.” I mumbled to myself, “just fuck it all.” There was honestly nothing worth looking forward to. I had ruined everything.

“Finally!” AJ grabbed my arm, “where were you?!” He’d emerged from the smoking area and had the audacity to ask where I’d been.

“No where,” I slurred, “I’ve been right here.”

“Okay, well I’m pissed,” he confessed.

“Me too—“ I held up my glass to show off the already half emptied drink.

“No—“ he snatched it from me to take a sip “like I’m livid.”

“Oh?!” I clicked that he was mad and grabbed my drink back, “Why?” I didn’t really care, I was more worried about myself, but I still listened.

“Cause Zayn’s getting with his fucking ex, and we came here to get him away from her.” I could see his jaw clench as he said the words.

“Not my problem.” I shrugged, “sounds like a him problem.”

“What’s with you?” He raised an eyebrow.” You don’t know her and how she embarrassed me and my family.”

“I just told Dan to get fucked and that he was boring.” I completely ignored what AJ had to say.

“Oh.” He screwed up his face, “I mean, yeah true, but also a bit too harsh.”

“What?!” He had specifically told me to be harsh. “Get out.” I rolled my eyes.

“Anyway, let’s find Zayn.” He grabbed onto my hand and tried to lead the way.

“No.” I pulled my hand away, “I don’t care about Zayn, I looked nice for him tonight and he went and got with his ex, so no, I’m not helping you help him, I hate him.” I slapped my hands to my mouth as soon as the words came tumbling out.

“Oh my god.” He stood there with his hands on his hips. “You like him?!” His eyes widened in delight, “you like my cousin.”

“Shut the fuck up!” I covered his mouth with my hand. “Stop, stop.” I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes and the lump in my throat started to rise once more. “I don’t like him.” I was never supposed to tell AJ, I couldn’t believe I’d played myself.

“It’s okay.” He held onto my shoulders. I think he had noticed that I was going to cry, “I won’t say anything.” He meant it sincerely.

“Thank you,” I stared down at my boots.

“Now will you help me find him pleaseeeeee?” he was practically begging.

“No,” I was standing my ground. “But I’ll be right here when you find him.”

“Fine!” He rolled his eyes, “but stay put.” He knew I had a habit of wondering off when I was drunk.

“No, I’m going back to the girls, just come find us when you find him.” I took another sip of my drink. I didn’t wanna wait for him all by my lonesome at the bar. At least if I went to find the girls I could have people to complain to.

“Okay,” he nodded, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

I gave him a thumbs up and stumbled off. I was so glad I’d chosen to wear boots instead of heels because my feet were killing me, I couldn’t imagine the pain I’d have been in if I chose the latter.

–

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