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122.55

Holy heck. I have not been on this site in aaaaaaages. And I feel like from the last post I did I would have wanted to be less at this point in the year than I currently am. But nonetheless, I’m happy that today I weighed in at 122kg. That’s a total of 41kg drop. I had been hovering at 123kg for about a week and a half now.. but I’m just super stoked to be out of that zone and in the next now. I feel like my body just wanted to celebrate a 40kg milestone, even though my mindset going into that drop was not “omg yes you lost 40kgs!!” - I knew that was dangerous because that would slow my momentum and my progress, like it has in the past. So moving the scale from 123 to 122 was huge for me. And last night I wanted to eat so bad. But I came on here to have a look at my last post before I went on Netflix and saw that the last time I posted, I was 131, and I thought to myself, no! I’m going to post in the morning because I’m going to weigh LESS, and I’m NOT going to eat. So I drank my ice water and watched Outer Banks and I tipped the scales in the right direction. Proud of myself. But I also know I can and will be doing better. I need to be less than 120kgs by the end of the month. Preferably 119. And I need to post here more regularly… I feel like I can be more me… it’s my safe place. Also I love this dress! I really want to buy it - but I want it to be at my goal size before I do. So like mid-year next year? If it’s still even available? 🤔

#obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #fat girl problems #personal #eating disoder things #weight loss goals #weightloss #weight loss journey

[fatyy]

131.95

OMG. So im feeling like absolute crap because I ate everything under the sun today. But then coming back onto Tumblr and seeing that the last time I was here I was 135kg... that’s awesome. I just hope I’m not above 132 in the morning 😪 I must do better tomorrow. And I must be under 125 by the end of the month!!! 😤😤😤

#fat girl problems #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #obese ana #personal #eating disoder things #weight loss goals #weightloss #weight loss journey

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Watching this legit makes me feel like my old self again 😅😂😍

This whole scene is everythingggg 😍😍😍

#goals #body goals #fat #obese ana #fat girl problems #fatty #eating disoder things #thinsppi

[fatyy]

137.05

Holy heck. Finally. And hello again, it’s been a while! In the time I’ve been away, our family moved into a bigger home, and I suppose the more important thing to know and understand is that I’ve been fluctuating between 138-140 for a while, hardly ever going below 138.4. The past few days I’ve been at that number and FINALLY today I made the drop not just into the 137s but almost bang on 137 😱😱😱 I’m so happy! The goal is to be below 135 by the end of the month and I definitely feel like that is achievable. Also in other happy news, my ingrown toenail according to the podiatrist I was seeing is no longer ingrown... we’ve successfully been able to file and cut it away over the several visits so that should be back to normal over the next few days and I can FINALLY start working out properly again! Yay! I’m so excited and here for all of it. Bring on the transformation! And the weight loss! And no longer being fat and obese!!

#weight loss journey #obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #fat girl problems #personal #eating disoder things #weight loss goals #weightloss

[fatyy]

141.35

I feel like the biggest failure and so completely out of control as far as my weight goes. If you had asked me at the beginning of the month if I was going to be ok with the above number in the middle of December, I would have looked at you like you were crazy. And now I’m like... well I was more yesterday so that’s a win 🙄😩🤦‍♀️. Fuck. I’m 3kg above my lowest weight this year. I was meant to be going in the opposite direction!!! If I was 135 today instead, that would be a massive cause for celebration. Instead I’m above 140. And have been for the whole week 😪😪😪 I get so scared to post on here and update when I’ve been regressing instead of progressing. But I need to get over it and just post instead because I feel like I have more control over myself and losing weight when I have to be accountable to an audience. Albeit in a nameless and faceless way but it just helps. And also it’s an opportunity to be able to vent all the things that I can’t say to my husband or my mum. So yeah. 🤷‍♀️ here’s hoping to 140 or below tomorrow 🤞🤞🤞

#obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #ana thoughts #fat girl problems #personal #eating disoder things

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Goals for 2021 wedding anniversary night... I have one year👌😍

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I miss my ballet body 😫😫😫😫😫

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☼

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139.7

So I’ve been so embarrassed and upset with myself that my weight went up that I didn’t even want to post. Because if I wrote about it, it was real. And I didn’t want it to be. I went up to 140.9 the other day. And I was doing so good with dropping till that point. Arghhhhhh! Today I went to visit a friend of mine who just had a baby. I was busy with prepping meals for her and just before we were set to go, my girl decided to rub her cousin’s slime all into her clothes and hair, so I had to clean her up and get her changed, then we had an unannounced visitor show up at the door so I completely forgot to finish packing the rest of her lunch and snacks to take with us (as it was a long car ride)... which resulted in a Maccas Drive Thru. And so I started out the order ok, with ordering an iced latte with almond milk and no sugar (so 60cals)... and then I ended up eating most of my daughter’s meal because she wasn’t hungry at the time... and McDonalds is not something that you can just keep to eat later, because it just goes stiff and gross. So that was on the way there. Then on the way back she was hungry after she had eaten the one snack that I did pack, so we went through another drive-thru.. and I ordered a BURGER. I wasn’t hungry and I ordered a burger and ate the whole thing like a the fat shit I am. And I was so happy I was back in the 130s again this morning and now tomorrow I’ll probably be like 142 or something 🤬🤬🤬🤬 how infuriating! I don’t know why I do this to myself. I really need to shut this behaviour down. I wasn’t hungry and I ate. Yuck. Gross. I need to stop.

#fat #obese ana #fat girl problems #morbidly obese #fatty #ana thoughts #personal #eating disoder things

[fatyy]

139.95

So just glad I didn’t end up above 140, even if it is only by 50g 😪 I binged last night. I had ice cream, and the left over potato salad, which I should have just thrown in the bin. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I’m going to see my Aunty today and I was hoping to be less than I was when I spoke to her last... meaning less than 138. But the last photo she saw of me I was 143 so I guess I’m still smaller than that? And the last time she saw me in person I was 157. I went for a walk this morning and as I was walking I was thinking how I would really like to be at 135 by Dec 1. So that’s gives me 4 days to lose 4kg... I would ideally like to fast. But given that I’m breastfeeding still, I can’t. I just have to go with all negative calorie foods I guess? Keep my daily total around 500cal? And a walk that breaks a good sweat and leaves me breathless at least once a day every day.

#obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #ana thoughts #fat girl problems #personal #eating disoder things

[fatyy]

139.95 🙄

I’m a horrible person. I ate wayyyyy too much yesterday. So much potato salad. 🤦‍♀️ And you would think that because of that number I would be not eating today? But no. I’ve eaten more potato salad this morning. And I just had a Mexican green salad (which is ok) but then my husband ordered Subway for lunch. And he bought me a sub 😩 I ate the filling, not he bread so I hope that’s ok 😥 I have steak with Euro style spinach and potato on the menu tonight for the household.. and that’s normally one of my favourites. But I’m going to have to just eat whatever is left on my daughters plate. I can’t afford to have even half a serving with those numbers this morning. I desperately don’t want to be above 140 again. 😞😞😞😞😞

#obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #ana thoughts #fat girl problems #personal #eating disoder things

[fatyy]

138.9 - fuck yes!

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I stepped on the scale this morning 🤩🤩🤩 was very happy with that. Yesterday I only finished off my daughters leftovers, and tasted the food I was cooking for the household, I didn’t actually have a proper meal anywhere 😶 oh and my husband last night decided he wanted Hungry Jacks which came to the door while my girl was still awake. And so I told him not to bring it into our room, so he ate outside... and then comes back in when she fell asleep with a cheeseburger 😩 which I had a few bites and then decided I didn’t want the bread, just the patty, cheese and sauce and pickle 😂🤦‍♀️🐷🐽 so even though it resulted in a loss this morning, I still need to work on my self control. It’s a hot day today - I’m doing a stovetop grill for dinner with chicken, veggie strips and potato salad for dinner. And I’ve just made myself a green salad now with heaps of corriander and chilli with some leftover bbq chicken. So if I only eat that tonight, I should at the very minimum maintain the loss I’ve just had!

#obese ana #fat #fatty #morbidly obese #ana thoughts #fat girl problems #eating disoder things #personal #weightloss #weight loss journey

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@lipkine

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