fastbrain

[fastbrain]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

#this speaks to me

[fastbrain]

Me until I realised I have ADHD and my brain is different. This is why I think labels are important.

[fastbrain]

Yeah what's with the hunger thing?? Sometimes I get sick and then have to try and remember if it's been too long since I ate, if I overate recently, or if I ate something bad.

Somehow my body's reporting mechanism is the same for all of those.

being autistic is so fun because i dont know i need to eat until im starving, i dont know i need to use the bathroom until its almost too late, i dont know im thirsty and dehydrated until im too weak and disoriented to stand, but i DO know every single obscure fact about undertale and deltarune, so thats nice

[fastbrain]

I get shit for not enjoying competitive games. I just want us to all get along! Games like Coup and Werewolf are exhausting.

[fastbrain]

Wow, congrats on the shinies!!

Special interest are amazing. But they still disable many autistics.

I love my special interest. My love for Pokémon and bats and paw patrol is amazing. But they still disable me. I can’t social with many because these constantly on mind. When willingly talking self will only talks about special interest. And when conversation change from interests, will get upset and switch it back. And many conversations with me is switching between my interests and what the other person wants to talk about.

When not actively engaging in interests, feel empty and not sure who am, although always feel that way, the feeling get when not have interest around is completely different. When not interested in my special interests am so much more deregulated and irritated and struggle communicate much more.

I still love my interests, but it feels like all really have. They disconnect me from others, they make me feel lonely and trapped while also helping me feel something. My interests are disabling, and are for many. Yes they good and fun and happy but everything has a bad side and that includes special interests

[fastbrain]

"hey google how do I recover from a meltdown?"

The results:

"if your child--"

"if your autistic child is having a meltdown "

"[anything by autism speaks]"

"what to do if your toddler has a tantrum"

#autism #neurodivergent #migraine fuel

[fastbrain]

I love it. I think swoobat is underrated!

Special interest are amazing. But they still disable many autistics.

I love my special interest. My love for Pokémon and bats and paw patrol is amazing. But they still disable me. I can’t social with many because these constantly on mind. When willingly talking self will only talks about special interest. And when conversation change from interests, will get upset and switch it back. And many conversations with me is switching between my interests and what the other person wants to talk about.

When not actively engaging in interests, feel empty and not sure who am, although always feel that way, the feeling get when not have interest around is completely different. When not interested in my special interests am so much more deregulated and irritated and struggle communicate much more.

I still love my interests, but it feels like all really have. They disconnect me from others, they make me feel lonely and trapped while also helping me feel something. My interests are disabling, and are for many. Yes they good and fun and happy but everything has a bad side and that includes special interests

[fastbrain]

Is your fantasy Pokemon team all bats and dogs??

Special interest are amazing. But they still disable many autistics.

I love my special interest. My love for Pokémon and bats and paw patrol is amazing. But they still disable me. I can’t social with many because these constantly on mind. When willingly talking self will only talks about special interest. And when conversation change from interests, will get upset and switch it back. And many conversations with me is switching between my interests and what the other person wants to talk about.

When not actively engaging in interests, feel empty and not sure who am, although always feel that way, the feeling get when not have interest around is completely different. When not interested in my special interests am so much more deregulated and irritated and struggle communicate much more.

I still love my interests, but it feels like all really have. They disconnect me from others, they make me feel lonely and trapped while also helping me feel something. My interests are disabling, and are for many. Yes they good and fun and happy but everything has a bad side and that includes special interests

[fastbrain]

I empathise. This is kind of why I haven't pursued a diagnosis myself. The rules (written and unwritten) are ableist enough that to not know for sure is a kind of defence.

Received my official autism diagnosis today

Have been looking for answers and I finally have answers but I don't feel happy, I still feel conflicted about a lot of stuff

So I have the diagnosis now what do I do?

I never thought about what comes after this

Will people treat me bad? Worse than now? What does it change after 24 years of not knowing?

I really thought the diagnosis would make me feel less like an impostor but I guess not, I still fear people will question me anywhere I go

Just wish things were easier

#autism #neurodivergent #autism problems #ableism #systemic ableism

[fastbrain]

#wheezing

[fastbrain]

I think I was sorta too social for my own good? I had a bunch of friends, I made my own friend group etc, but the second you want to..HANG OUT? Yeah i am NOT the same person and sensory overload takes over.

So I was that person who preferred the school hours and times to socialize because it gave me a sense of organization and because after school I just...melt

[fastbrain]

I think I'd get to a similar place as you if I pushed for a diagnosis. I haven't bothered because I know I mask well and can't turn it off.

I hope whatever you choose to do gives you closure, whether you find it in others or in yourself.

I’m looking for advice on whether I should continue pursuing an autism diagnosis. I got my results from my comprehensive psych assessment. They didn’t diagnose me with autism because my ADOS score was too low, but they said my symptoms seem consistent with Asperger’s (even though I know it’s a problematic term) and that I’m “definitely” on the autistic spectrum. On a different metric I also scored in a moderate and almost in the severe range for autism but I guess they didn’t diagnose me from that either.

My psychologist said that I just didn’t meet the clinically diagnostic level of autism because my social and communication impairments don’t seem to be very noticeable, and that even if I got a parental interview I’d likely still score in a “gray area”.

I want a diagnosis to feel more validated and get more clarity but I know some people say it has drawbacks. I’m not sure what to do or if anyone else has been in this situation before and any advice would be appreciated.

#autism #asd #neurodivergent #autism problems #reblogging for visibility

[fastbrain]

Things like depression, anxiety, and a whole host of other things can really mess with a person's memory.

[fastbrain]

Not a special interest, but I 100% get the texture joy! Similarly, I used to have a polished tiger's eye (petrified wood) egg. It was the perfect shape and smoothness, and it was a little heavier than you'd expect. It was magical! Maybe one day I'll rediscover it among my old things...

What are some of your favourite glass things?

Any other autistics very into glassware? Collecting blown glass sculptures? Loves feeling the texture of beaded glass jewelry? Obsessed with historic stained glass windows in churches? Mesmerized by uranium glassware any time you're in an antique store? Is anyone else have a glass special interest?

#autism #gemstones #glass

[fastbrain]

no one warned me that the side effects of my ADHD meds would include frequent thoughts of "oh I could make a spreadsheet for that"

#enlightenment #ascension #religion #spreadsheets

[fastbrain]

"Good enough" can still be good. You can still be proud of it.

[fastbrain]

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.