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ezelium · 18 days

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what were we thinking?

prompt - reasons you both see that makes the love die

includes - ayatsuji

warnings - gn!reader, angst, unhealthy breakup?, no comfort, wc - 572

a/n: ayatsuji's part to anon's request!

ayatsuji was many things. that you were very aware of from the very moment you ever met him. looking back on it, you realise that tsujimura may have offered you enough warnings. when you first met him you were graced with the same facade, a seemingly cold and emotionless man that had little care for those around him.

he wasn't that talkative at the start, the only time he'd talk to you would be making a snide comments toward you even if you weren't speaking directly to him. maybe you were just too persistent for your own good or maybe you grew on him but you doubt it was the latter - whatever it was, you eventually doomed yourself. upon dropping his cold facade you gave yourself a hope that he didn't detest you and would go out of his way to mock you but maybe it was only temporarily.

his kind side was much more preferable, you could hold any conversation with him and he seemed much more expressive around you. tsujimura openly showed her shock when it became obvious to others that you and ayatsuji may of becime something more than friends. it seemed practically impossible for ayatsuji to be able to hokd that sort of relationship but it seemed you were the exception - or maybe just a trial run, or even a means of proving a point.

everything seemed great for a while, ayatsuji dropped most of his cold and harsh persona's around you and you could convince yourself that he was willing to help make this relationship work. it seemed this was a great oversight. no matter how much somebody's facade may drop, it is bound to resurface again and even stronger than before. without any warning ayatsuji changed back to his chide comments one day - criticizing everything you did and showing no remorse for making you upset.

you had no clue why he changed so suddenly but you could take a good guess. what you wouldn't know was the truth, ayatsuji cares for you deeply but he just couldn't bear it if something happened to you because of his status with you and so he would have no choice but to push you away. he didn't quite know how to do it formally and so settled for abruptly pushing you away.

you realise now that dating ayatsuji was a mistake. you both realised all too late that he wasn't ready for a relationship, to allow himself a weakness that was being associated with someone he cared deeply for. the breakup was a mutual decision, a part of you wanted to blame him for not realising he wasn't ready for a relationship but that seemed almost petty. you told him that he needed to start allowing people to help him, to allow himself weaknesses because maybe they weren't what he thought they were.

akutasoda's 1k event

#⟡ ☕ ─ reblogs

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ezelium · 25 days

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me when the

#⟡ ☕ ─ chitchat #why are his shoes like that #hes so???#goofy #but its alright we all love goro akechi ❤#right guys

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ezelium · 26 days

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I'LL BE ON MY BEST BEHAVIOUR : Boothill

CONTENT : realizing boothill can't feel on his metal plates.

WARNINGS : gn!reader, fluff, written before boothills release idk, reader is in a 😒 mood

WORD COUNT : 0.6k !

A / N : i read somewhere boothill doesn't feel anything on anywhere else except his face because he doesn't have skin to sense things there and this makes great fluff sauce so i couldn't resist.. "But don't you only write for bsd?" shhSHUSH SHUSH!!

Boothill, a mechanical robot.

One that drifts among the stars. One that you held close to your heart. You didn't meet him long ago, in fact, it was only a while ago. He was unhinged and "weird", sure.. but who could deny such a silly man from being their friend?

As far as you knew, he wasn't doing anything wrong. Nor that he thought he did. Him being impertinent wasn't bothering you, not at all. Everybody had flaws, imperfections, problems. Did that stop people from loving them? No, absolutely not. Why should he be treated differently? In fact — He should be treated specially to learn how to act more "human".

Or maybe that's just how you thought, you had hopes for him, hoped he would somewhat grow human-like feelings.

You knew he doesn't exactly 'feel", but physical touch could help him. You knew that, because whenever you caressed his cheek, he would laugh and process it. That or he'd smile and be softer for a brief minute. It was an amazing sight, really, perhaps that was one step closer him being "more human" emotion-wise.

Laying by your side was something he'd do occasionally, out of boredom or when he had nothing else to do. Getting new plates, new wires weren't exciting at all. He'd prefer to stay by your side, thank you very much. You slowly kicked your feet in the air while laying on your stomach, reading a book that you've already read a billion times. But what could you do? The plot was interesting, and you were a big fan of the author.

And now, you finished it for the zillionth time. Closing the book, you got up from the couch lazily, blinking a few times after that reading session to come to your senses. A soft sigh left your lips as you stretched for good - it was amazing, it almost felt like your brain just reset.

One thing you didn't expect though, was to find Boothill seated across the same couch with his back turned to you. He wasn't moving or anything. Eh, oh well, why not talk to him.. But you didn't want to say anything just yet. Your almost feet started moving on their own, approaching the cyborg without much care.

You didn't make any sounds whatsoever. Odd, that he didn't notice you getting up. With shallow breaths, you snaked your arm around his torso, still not saying anything while you silently hugged him from behind.

You sat there for like 3 minutes, but then you called out:

"Boothill?" you rasped out, tightening your hug even further, as much as you could. The metal was kind of hard to wrap your arms around, but you didn't bother letting go.

"[Name], ha?!" He exclaimed, looking very startled now. He even flinched, what a goofy man. "You got up, sweetums!" He added, a grin creeping up on his face, making his fangs and sharp teeth glow like a fresh pearl.

"I got up a few minutes ago. And hugged you." You replied, blinking with a slightly cocked eyebrow, looking sleepy. Speaking of sleep, it seemed that you had a fatigue today but that was off-topic..

"I- Didn't notice it. How senseless and idiotic of me. But— That just makes me cuter, doesn't it?! Ha?" He turned around off-puttingly, and that did NOT go well with your current judgy attitude. Giving him a stink eye, you pulled away.

"So you don't have sensors on these bad boys?" You asked, hand going over the silver lining on his body. He didn't even react to it, and gave a loopy chuckle, before nodding. "Should I get some sensors on them?"

"Wouldn't that make it hurt more when you get injured though?"

"True.."

edit : i noticed far too late that i forgot to add the end notes GOODNIGHT.. but anyway sorry if this is inaccurate in the future idk!

#⟡ ☕ ─ archive #boothill #boothill hsr #hsr fanfic #hsr #honkai star rail #boothill x reader #boothill x gn reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #boothill x you #boothill x y/n #boothill fluff #what is this #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr x gn reader

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ezelium · 26 days

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good evening. first of all, again, congratulations on 1k, thats a big milestone! (for me at least) and im here to request for the 1k event ^_^

i figured the event doesn't really have a theme, so id like to req a small oneshot of aventurine and reader with the 4th prompt of this post with heavy angst if you could do. thank you, and have a nice day!

if only i could've told you sooner

synopsis - you want him to know, especially if he doesn't have long left

includes - aventurine

warnings - gn!reader, heavy angst, no comfort, maybe unrequited feelings?, hints toward suicide + death, wc - 689 a/n: thank you!! if you're reading this you better check out ezel - writing is *chef's kiss*

anyone with half a brain could realise it was practically a suicide mission - even if it wasn't intended to be, that was obviously the back up plan. it's like the saying 'if all else fails', if the plan didn't work out you knew damn well aventurine wouldn't mind placing his life on the line to achieve the goal he had his sights on. you both knew that, even if he didn't tell you.

'how long do you reckon then' you stared his slumped over form down as he shuffled a small deck he kept on his desk 'mm don't know but i wouldn't plan to stay long' he sighed before letting a small smirk crawl onto his lips as he made eye contact 'why? you worried you'll start to miss me?'. now it was your turn to sigh, and mask the genuine concern, 'as if. just means i get your paperwork if you're gone too long' he let out a small laugh 'ouch. i'd hoped atleast you'd miss me'

he left not long after to prepare for his stay in penacony, leaving you all alone in his office. you closed your eyes and sighed yet again, you knew damn well that any mission that had aventurine on it would result in him making an outlandish bet that would always affect him if he lost. it would be a good couple of amber eras before you even dared to admit, but you cared for him. his self destructive behaviour kept you on your toes because you truly wouldn't know what to do if he lost one day - he didn't deserve the fates he put on the table for the sake of the IPC's demand.

your eyes caught sight of the mission file laid carelessly on his desk and you picked it up to throw into his trash can on the way out. aventurine had picked up many skills, one of which was the ability to grasp a very accurate reading on people so he knew you cared. he knew you'd throw away that file if he left it and he knew you kept little trinkets he gave you or a note as a memento to what he dare say was a friendship. a friendship that oh so clearly had the potential for more.

it was true. you'd kept most things aventurine gave you: notes he'd send you on long missions, small gifts he'd bring back from across the galaxy, and even the card pack that won you your first game against aventurine. however those were just material items. no matter how much you could keep, if he truly lost a bet on his life you wouldn't be able to remember him the same. nothing could even begin to compare to seeing him in person, even if he drove you up the wall sometimes.

in honesty, most of your memories with aventurine are encapsulated inside your phone. it wouldn't be uncommon for you and aventurine to hang around each other especially at IPC event's and sometimes in a rare moment you can catch aventurine in a photo with you - and it's not aventurine one of the ten stonehearts, it's aventurine. your favourite is a more recent photo of you and aventurine at the most recent IPC event, you can convince yourself that his smile isn't a facade and he is truly happy in that moment.

aventurine has exactly ten minutes before he's set to depart to penacony. you haven't seen him for awhile because he's been too busy ensuring the transport of the cornerstone's was successful and all the other bag's he didn't need on him, and as you stare at the photos of you and him you realise something. at this point you don't care that he might not reciprocate your feelings, but you want him to be aware. you want him to know for sure that there is somebody in this unforgiving galaxy who loves him, especially if he may never return.

akutasoda's 1k event

#⟡ ☕ ─ reblogs #oh my god #eats #chomp chomp chomp #yummer 😋

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ezelium · 27 days

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in my humble opinion, beast dazai resembles henna merry go round's end (2:56 - 3:08) a lot