exchristianlesbians

[exchristianlesbians]

Maybe I don't want your prayers. Maybe I don't want "redemption". Maybe I just want to live my life, enjoy the sun on my face and the rain on my skin. Maybe that is all I truly need, nothing more.

Why is this so hard for you to believe?

#ex christian #deconversion #ex christian lesbians #mod c

[exchristianlesbians]

Religious/Spiritual abuse- Religious abuse can refer to abuse with religious components or overtones, to abuse perpetrated by a religious institution, or to religious cult abuse. Abuse with religious aspects or overtones might involve the use of bible verses to justify sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, or neglect (Child Friendly Faith Project, n.d.)14. Threats of hell or damnation might be used to terrify children into compliance, or talk of demons or possession might cause children to fear their own minds, comply with abuse, or fail to seek help or treatment for physical or mental disorders or disabilities. Sometimes, religious institutions will knowingly allow or covertly or overtly sanction abuse within their community or engage in organized sexual abuse or human trafficking. Religious cults might engage in intense religious indoctrination and conditioning along with physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Further examples of abuse that are often "justified" by religion include medical neglect, child marriage, exorcism, genital mutilation, conversion therapy for LGBT youth, or abandoning a minor for reasons such as the minor being LGBT or having differing religious beliefs (Bulwer, 2016)15.

#religious trauma syndrome

[exchristianlesbians]

Is there a priest/pastor/minister that you'd gladly have a savage fist fight with in the parking lot after church or is it just me?

#john macarthur #square up old man

[exchristianlesbians]

Blessed are the doubters.

Blessed are the ones who let themselves be uncertain in the face of such captivating certainty.

I wished I’d doubted sooner. I now admire those who did. Even if I didn’t realize it at the time, I learned from watching them.

I had questions and doubts, but I didn’t dare go beyond the boundaries of my core faith tenets. There was only one god, one savior, and one way to get to heaven.

When I saw people doubt their way out of the faith, I thought they had been captured by the world. I felt superior, believing my thoughts were free when I was really the one who had been captured. Born into Christian captivity, freedom just looked like loss.

The more I doubted, the harder I doubled-down on my beliefs until they wore too thin to sustain me. I am glad I made it out and I no longer feel shame about staying in it for as long as I did. It was something that I had to work through and forgive myself for. I hope that my experience having trouble letting go can make it easier for others to let go at different stages of doubt.

links, glorious links

#ex christian #deconversion

[exchristianlesbians]

Erika L. Sánchez, from "Departure"

[exchristianlesbians]

[exchristianlesbians]

Being PIMO (physically in, Mentally out) is the threshold to freedom. It is the bravery of questioning your universal truths. It is the practice of critical thinking and opening to new, better beliefs. Yes, it's scary to still physically be within an organization, but once you learn to trust your gut and rely on your own understanding, you are at the threshold to freedom

[exchristianlesbians]

i think one of the funniest and most annoying things i was taught as a christian is that we have free will wow so cool! but also predestination is a thing and basically that means that before you’re born god decides whether you’ll come to him or not. so you should try to convert as many people as possible but also god already knows which’ll get into heaven. and you have the freedom to choose to follow him except he’s already decided where you’re going after you die.

the predestination shit basically strips you bare of any agency in your own life, it’s confusing and contradictory and probably my least favorite part of the belief system i grew up in because of how fucking stupid it is.

#exvangelical

[exchristianlesbians]

Cognitive Dissonance: Love

I was told that God WAS love and our love paled in comparison.

Our love is vibrant and not based in fear, his is scary and vague.

Fundies twist words like they are trying to make taffy.

The concept of love in Christianity was twisted beyond recognition which caused me a lot of cognitive dissonance. I was raised to believe that the Christian god had the purest kind of love and that if I couldn’t see it that way, my human perception must be at fault. 

But how could a loving god allow Hell to exist? Why put people through an ineffective, finite test and then give them eternal punishment?

If his love was highest, how could he allow evil to infect everything? Even if there was evil in the world from direct actions of someone’s free will, why would he allow it to spill out and indirectly cause mass suffering? 

Love is much simpler than the Bible makes it out to be. Returning to safe, sensical, and tangible love of humanity was a great relief after leaving Christianity. Our love belongs to us and that is powerful. It is our responsibility to understand it and to use it well in our own lives as well as for improving the world for people who come after us.

I've learned a lot about love after getting some distance from the twisted fundie definition. Love is patient: it does not have an expiration date after which people get sent to Hell. Love is kind: it can be seen in the everyday kindness we do for each other. Love does not enviously condemn people for loving their family and friends. It does not demean others, reduce their self worth, or deny difficult emotions. Love holds abusers accountable. Love does not delight in suffering but rejoices in healing. Love helps us protect, trust, hope, and persevere for ourselves and each other, beyond what any god wants. Love can sometimes fail but it can be rekindled again.

#ex christian

[exchristianlesbians]

I want you to know that if you lost years of your life as a result of your trauma that it is not too late to still have a good life. It might not be the life you thought you’d have, but it can still be good. You’re going to be okay. 

[exchristianlesbians]

#😂 #ex christian

[exchristianlesbians]

the deconstruction process is very much so not easy and you should be proud of yourself no matter where you are in that journey

#deconversion

[exchristianlesbians]

I don't think some people realize just how intense internalized homophobia can be. I convinced myself for a solid 2-3 years as a teenager that I must be incapable of human love because I couldn't like any of the boys who liked me. It did not even cross my mind I could be gay during that time *despite being fully aware I had constant crushes on girls.*

The human brain is fucking nuts to be capable of that level of mental gymnastics I kid you not. Couldn't be more thankful that era is long past!!

#lesbians #internalized homophobia

[exchristianlesbians]

Evangelical Christians love to talk about how because of sin, respect doesn't come naturally, love doesn't come naturally, forgiveness doesn't come naturally, nor compassion or kindness.

But it does. The only reason those values don't come naturally to people in church is because there is none found there. Those values operate on a supply/demand principle.

It's like a group of people talking about how weightlifting is unnatural, and how occasionally someone may be able to lift a 5lb weight but it's so rare it shouldn't be expected. But when you point out that many people can lift 50lbs, they change the topic to how protein is made from demons and the Bible explicitly forbids it, but can't find the verse.

#ex christian #exvangelical

[exchristianlesbians]

#ex christian

[exchristianlesbians]

What really gets me, over and over again, is how invalidating the Christians in my life can be. They're all so fine and cool with telling me to come back to Jesus or go back to my roots because God loves me. You mean go back to wanting to fucking die? Find the faith that tried to kill me and carry it around again as if it's a cute pet to love rather than a parasite that threatens my life? Carry a torch for the god that sat silent and unmoving when I begged him to speak to me?

They all fail tremendously to keep in mind my actual lived experiences with Christianity. Experiences they know about!!! Hardships they were there for!!! My life is better than it was when I was a Christian. I am happier, healthier, and more stable than when I called Jesus my savior. Going back to the darkness of Christianity is unfathomable to me.

#ex christian

[exchristianlesbians]

[ID text — i begged God to save me and he shoved more torment down my throat to keep me quiet]

#religious trauma syndrome