sighs I lost muse for this blog and I hate it.
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( the whitelighter groans in frustration and releases a sigh.
how was she going to get herself out of this mess? in all
honesty she never expected to wind up behind bars while
assisting a charge. how would she even keep her identity
a secret? she’s gripping onto the bars that are confining
her. how many whitelighters could say they were arrested?
she exhales slowly before reluctantly turning to the person
who had been arrested with her and shakes her head. )
❝How do you suppose we’re going to
get out of this one? We’re in so much
trouble! I can’t believe this is happening.❞
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( the whitelighter groans in frustration and releases a sigh.
how was she going to get herself out of this mess? in all
honesty she never expected to wind up behind bars while
assisting a charge. how would she even keep her identity
a secret? she's gripping onto the bars that are confining
her. how many whitelighters could say they were arrested?
she exhales slowly before reluctantly turning to the person
who had been arrested with her and shakes her head. )
❝How do you suppose we're going to
get out of this one? We're in so much
trouble! I can't believe this is happening.❞
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“Kenna, you don't have any idea how wrong you are about that. I've done
terrible things.. Caused so much misery...
I bet you those people haven't killed or tortured anyone, and if they did—
I bet you they didn't love it as much as I did. Or
as much as I still do. Why can't you just see that I am bad for you?
In so many fuc- freaking ways! I'm a monster, Kenna.
We both know it. Of course I don't think its easy for you. It isn't easy
for either of us. I know what experience does to people. Our
experiences shape us. Those experiences are
exactly why you and I are this way, and why we're toxic. When have we ever
complimented each other? Never. I'm darkness, you're light.
Don't you see that?”
“I didn’t think it either. Many people have done much worse then
whatever the hell you’ve done.
Everyone has done something horrible in their lives. And,
no one’s ever perfect. I decide who’s bad for me.
Yeah, you’re a dick and you know how to get on my nerves,
but that doesn’t mean that you’re bad for me.
Do you honestly think this is easy for me? I know from
experience that caring only makes things worse.
Why do you think I’m the way I am?”
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One of the longest weeks of my life ugh. I'll be over here.
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My week has been so exhausting. I'm so glad I'm done with wakes and funerals.
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stydiashippersclub:
Just look at how badly she wants to help him but doesn’t know how.
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From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean +
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“You didn't have to say it. If you say so Kenna. You'd think differently
if you knew about what I've done. I don't feel guilty about it either.
That's perfectly okay.. You don't have to know what to say. Don't you
just wish it was that easy? Oh Kenna.. If you only knew. I'm
bad for you.. For everyone. You can't move on because
there's a part of you that cares. I just- I don't know how to care and I
honestly do not know if I'll ever learn how to. That's my fault though.”
”I never said you were a monster. I’ll never call you that, okay?
I just — I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.
It’s not supposed to be like this. I’m just supposed to move on
from life and that’s not happening —!!”
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“Okay.. Point taken. I know I'm a monster.
Things don't always work out
the way we necessarily expect them to
or the way we want them to. That's how things work.
What do you want me to do about it?”
”Of course I know what you are.
How could I ever forget?
I — it wasn’t supposed to end up like this.
We were supposed to hate each other;
end of story.”
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❝I apologize... Please don't hate me. I need you to elaborate on what you mean by 'everything.' Are you referring to what's happened with me? Or something completely different?❞
❝Enough of these dramatics. I don’t need any of this. I didn’t summon you to share a shoulder to cry on. I need you to tell me everything while I was in the cage.❞
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“Look—— You know what I am.. Right?
You know that its difficult for demons to feel anything
other than hatred.. Don't you? It isn't like I haven't tried to care.
I just... I find it difficult to do it. Especially after everything I've had to endure.”
“I know you don’t care about me.
You don’t have to pretend like you do.”
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