einsteinbrosofficial

[einsteinbrosofficial]

let's be bad at video games together

[einsteinbrosofficial]

thesis: calling things "biblically accurate" isnt funny anymore

antithesis: saying "none of these words are in the bible" isnt funny anymore either

synthesis: theres some level of biblical relevance that will make jokes funny but we havent found it yet

#me patiently waiting for the next big phrase that does not have Jesus related vibes #so that I can participate without feeling annoyed to all shit #(strangers reading the tags I was raised in a diff religion this is not some weird don’t take Jesus name in vain thing)

[einsteinbrosofficial]

"Not beating the ___ allegations" is such a 'now' turn of phrase, implying as it does a world where everyone's behavior is always on literal trial by a guilt-presuming judge and jury that consists of anyone who happens to be paying attention.

[einsteinbrosofficial]

U.S. conservatives always talk about creating jobs but get SO MAD whenever anyone mentions banning prison labor like imagine the insane ammout of jobs that would be created literally overnight if companies in your country had to actually employ people instead of using slave labor from people that got caught with weed 10 years ago.

[einsteinbrosofficial]

someone walked past me at renfaire & said “pardon me good wizard” and my god i will think about it forever

[einsteinbrosofficial]

Greg House Big Naturals…

[einsteinbrosofficial]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

[einsteinbrosofficial]

[einsteinbrosofficial]

"ao3 is the modern day library of alexandria" no that title goes to the internet archive. ao3 is the omegaverse website. easy misconception.

[einsteinbrosofficial]

as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it

[einsteinbrosofficial]

[einsteinbrosofficial]

skin and bones

[einsteinbrosofficial]

insatiable

[einsteinbrosofficial]

To be a meal is the privilege of the living

Close up on our gourmets ‼️

[einsteinbrosofficial]

cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin

[einsteinbrosofficial]

[einsteinbrosofficial]

modern au with these two 🐱🍙