darkcomedies

[darkcomedies]

Comedian and “Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver is urging Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas to resign, offering him $1 million per year to do so.

Oliver railed against the conservative justice during the 11th season premiere of his weekly show Sunday, saying Thomas had made the lives of Americans “demonstrably worse” and promising him a brand new luxury recreational vehicle if he agrees to step down from the high court.

“Lot on your plate right now. From stripping away women’s rights to hearing Jan. 6 cases, you definitely shouldn’t be hearing two potentially helping rollback decades of federal regulations,” he said.

“So that’s the offer. $1 million a year, Clarence. And a brand new condo on wheels. And all you have to do in return is sign the contract and get the f‑‑‑ off the Supreme Court,” Oliver added. “Talk it over with your totally best friend in the whole world. Because the clock starts now. Thirty days, Clarence … Let’s do this!”

The comedian’s bit was first highlighted by Mediaite.

Thomas has come under scrutiny from media outlets and ethics watchdogs in recent months after reporting by ProPublica found he had failed to disclose luxury trips and other benefits he received from conservative billionaire Harlan Crow.

[darkcomedies]

hearing officials and public figures criticize biden openly on talk shows and seeing newspaper headlines sharply decry israel killing aid workers is making me feel kind of crazy. like it could've been like this the whole time. before 40,000 palestinians were killed and the infrastructure of gaza destroyed. it could've been like this when people gathered their children in plastic bags at al-ahli hospital, when a poet and his family were assassinated for a joke, when journalists buried their families on air, when children were targeted by drones on camera, when a little boy holding his grandmother's hand in one hand and a white flag in another watched her get shot and die in front of him, when a cameraman was left to bleed out with a live counter for hours while his rescuers were shot, when patients were bulldozed in their tents in the courtyard of a hospital, when four babies were left die and decompose alone in their hospital beds, when six year old hind rajab was crying for help trapped in a car with the corpses of her family on the phone with the red crescent for hours until she and the rescuers sent to get her were killed too.

[darkcomedies]

#bird… like a dove!

[darkcomedies]

my dad has this crazy ass huge camera lens so we went out during the eclipse last night and got maybe one of my favorite photos i’ve ever had a hand in taking

[darkcomedies]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#we should be in the club

[darkcomedies]

the fact that i still have to unlearn shame… like come on that’s literally the most embarrassing thing to not have unlearned yet

#actually genuinely sharing this one with my therapist

[darkcomedies]

#laugh rule #last one did it

[darkcomedies]

“Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them.”

— Richard Siken, Editors Page: The Long and the Short of It

#we’ve all been there! #writing inspo #words words words

[darkcomedies]

I can’t let motherfuckers know I got desires or they’ll think I suck

#mecore

[darkcomedies]

#thanks Gerard Way

[darkcomedies]

goodnight everyone (:

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[darkcomedies]

some of ya are so fucking evil and inconsiderate i saw some meme about not giving up your seat on the bus for a woman who’s pregnant “because no one told them to get cummed in” comments saying “she shoulda fucked a richer man” bitch this person has a whole life inside of them and it’s a risk for a pregnant woman to be standing especially with how reckless some bus drivers are dont reblog shit like that on my timeline i will unfollow you that shits not funny at all and its very telling of the type of person you are

[darkcomedies]

#i have ordinal linguistic personification or whatever and 6 and 0 are the kindest

[darkcomedies]

there’s so much surrealistic magical stuff in my writing inspo tag for someone who writes pretty much entirely realism

#want to get into absurdism and brechtian stuff though #asides

[darkcomedies]

the next time someone asks what this country is like i’ll just send them this

#my issue is that i love this #writing inspo

[darkcomedies]

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

[darkcomedies]

tumblr is so great it’s like the diary is talking back