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trade places with me

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everyone shut up and look at this

#cats #bert and ernie #sesame street

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Shop , Patreon , Books and Cards , Mailing List

#I needed this #Self care #self worth

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April 2020 Illustrations ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

#Self care

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Ishtar Has an Orgy (HS 1879)

Jubilation is the foundation of the city!

Telītum, la[dy of …]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! […]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! The pri[estess …]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! The yo[ung men …]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! The young wo[men …]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! One person ca[me to her.]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Come! Submit to m[e!”]  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! Then a second came to her.  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Come! Let me stroke your vulva!”  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Once I submit to you,”  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Assemble the young men of the city for me.”  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Let’s go to the shadow of the wall!”  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! Seven at her front, seven at her thighs.  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! Sixty and sixty keep climaxing in her genitals.  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! The young men wearied; Ishtar did not weary.  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! “Put (it) in the lovely vulva, men!” —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! Even as the young woman said it,  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city! The young men heard and submitted to her order.  —  Jubilation is the foundation of the city!

Total: 20 (lines).  A pārum of Ishtar.  (From) the year that Hammurabi became king. ŠEG₅.ŠEG₅–bēlu–rēṣūšu, son of Šumu-libši, wrote (this).

#nsfw #this the shit they don’t teach us in schools

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I just want a sugar daddy but instead of it being a rich older man, I want it to be Gillian Anderson

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Is it even a German-language musical if they don't have "Schatten" somewhere in the lyrics

#actual facts #I’ve been saying this for years

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Cat discovers oranges and discovers that he doesn’t like them. (via nevermndthealbatross)

#cats

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when i die i want to be a goat when i come back i want to look like some wouldst thou like to live deliciously bitch i want some cunt driving by my field to see me and think to themselves that thats a bad omen right there

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Heavy is the chest that wears the tits or whatever

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#cats

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I have a nibling who is not even two and has a model toy of the Endeavor space shuttle that he calls “my plane” when he plays with it. He loves it. And today we went to the California Science Center see the ACTUAL Endeavor space shuttle and I tell you what-

that kid lost his goddamn mind. It was the ACTUAL BEST. 

Cool fact about kids: they are small and dumb and they don’t know anything.

Like, for instance, their life experience gives them no reason to know that their toys are often based on actual things that exist.

It took him a while to realise the shuttle was even there because- protip about space shuttles: they are freaking huge. So like it didn’t even really register to him as an object? It was too big, it just seemed like the ceiling? But he saw the photos on the wall and he saw the gift shop and he was looking all around like “MY PLANE! MY PLANE!” because his toy “plane” was on every single thing. Models. Shirts. Mugs. Plushies. Books. This was a whole warehouse dedicated just to his plane, and that would have been amazing enough. Except, also, the actual life-size real has-been-to-space thing was there too. 

So eventually we got him to look up at the actual shuttle like, “yeah, look! There it is! It’s your plane, and it’s REALLY BIG” and when he finally took it in he literally screamed and I swear I thought for a second he was gonna die right there “IT’S BIG. MY PLANE MY PLANE MY PLANE” (looking at all the other people in the science center, pointing at a NASA space shuttle, shouting “MY PLANE!” like the actual proudest person in the world who just willed an entire spacecraft into existence).

Anyway I had a migraine for most of the day, but I’m still super glad I went out because it was totally worth it.

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the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

#cats

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some ways that learning english mostly through spn and tumblr when i was 14 has affected me:

- i thought stuff like biggerson’s and gas-n-sip were real

- i thought stanford was a fictional school they created specifically for sam in spn

- i thought kia sorento was a person

- i thought ‘kill’ ‘gank’ and ‘waste’ were like. pretty much equally used because of how much dean uses them

- i thought motels was just what people in america called hotels. i thought they just replaced the ‘h’ by a ‘m’ for some reason. just for kicks. why not

- i didn’t know ‘vessel’ could mean anything else than. well possessed person i guess. and was deeply distraught when my teacher asked me what it meant, listen to me rant about it for two minutes then went ‘its just like. a boat’

- it took me a while to realize that hunter was not, as a matter of fact, specifically applied to monsters

- had no idea who paris hilton was and thought they just made up a celebrity for supernatural. i repeat: i thought they created paris hilton for the cw show supernatural