cryptidtaqii

[cryptidtaqii]

Hey you.

I know you can see this right now.

Yeah. I’m very much alive and well.

I guess.

I just needed to take time to recollect myself. Y'know, life stuff n all. I'm really sorry for making you guys think I was gonna try something really dangerous. I didn't try something really dangerous. I mean, does changing up a few things in my life count as something dangerous? I honestly don't know. If you do wanna see me actually decently active on social media, try hunting for my Twitter or something uhh idk

#HEY IM ALIVE #I'm sorry y'all #idk if I'll go back to tumblr tho #I might be responding to some DMs here on tumblr so #NOT JUST SOME #I'll try to respond to y'all #try hunting for my Twitter. like. try.

[cryptidtaqii]

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#I never thought I'd have to say goodbye #but we always don't get what we want don't we? #it's time to forget about me. #please?

[cryptidtaqii]

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#im sorry

[cryptidtaqii]

The Wood scouts Reverse! 

David- Seething hate for Camp Campbell and everyone there(especially Mr.Campbell), Fights with Jenny 24/7, will dead ass drop kick a kid, always planning in his cabin to figure out way to take down Camp Campbell, strict as a motherfucker, “FUCK”™, will use everyone and everything as a puppet if it means to get his way.

Neil- Top in his class, Strict Leader , youngest Scout to earn 34 badges in 2 weeks, has a crush on Tabii from Camp Campbell (But won’t admit it),”My way or the highway”.

Nurfington- Stoic, silent (Secretly sweet and kind to living things), will beat your face in with one punch.

Neilson- unexpectedly strong for his size,always fighting with Neil for top potion for the only “Neil” in the wood scouts, will shank you , (Hates heights)  

(and now up next are the Flower Scouts!) 

#YES #fave

[cryptidtaqii]

hiveswap sketchdump feat. the harleyclaire kiddos in my style….

#YESSS #FAVE #hiveswap

[cryptidtaqii]

hello id die for jude and joey

#hiveswap

[cryptidtaqii]

the signs as fashion

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Pisces:

Aquarius:

#BROOOO #FAVE

[cryptidtaqii]

#oh god #I need this #fave

[cryptidtaqii]

hello i love your artstyle and your art ok bye

Night, have I ever told you how much I love you?

#oh my fuck I'm not sure when I sent this omg #BUT SRSLY!!!! ILY TOO #ur precious

[cryptidtaqii]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

#oh my god #fave

[cryptidtaqii]

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

[cryptidtaqii]

love isn’t always holding hands and little kisses in on saturday afternoons. love isnt always a rose gold sun set when you kiss them goodbye. sometimes love is a messy 4 am phone call you make on the brink of tears to your best friend. sometimes it’s taking a trip to the store when there is nothing you need because they said they wanted some company. love isn’t always picturesque, but for as long as you feel it; it’s real.

#AWWWW #FAVE

[cryptidtaqii]

Forget about the wedding being on Discord

We’re having it here!!

I invite most people i can remember, dont get sad if i dont tag you i just suck with memory uishdsi I invite these people, to mine and Harrison‘s wedding @mr-honey-nuts-search-history @ceiling-fan-search-history @maxsearchhistory @shoearts @ask-prestongoodplay @prestons-search-history @anxiety-and-regret @david-and-maxwell @ered-search-history @danielsearchhistory @david-search-history @bus-search-history @flagpost-search-history @ered-search-history @ask-the-agent-of-chaos @ask-the-campers @tabiisearchhistory @nerris-hat-search-history @kathryn-and-katelyn-the-murderer @candy-search-history @ghost-of-the-lake @zeemoog-searchhistory @ask-maxamillion @prestonsearchhistory @pikemans-search-history @ask-the-camp-man @maxs-snapchat-story @tabii-search-history @toonfanstars @nebulanoodles @camperkay @mendyboyistalking @totallynotsamantham8 And the groom… or, bride pfff…..

@askcampcampharrison

#omg #fave #I know I'm not tagged but like #shit man this is cute

[cryptidtaqii]

Me: I love being out at night, I’m not scared of the dark!

tree: *exists, looking very vaguely like a person*

Me:

#ME ME #FAVE

[cryptidtaqii]

compilation of the trio saying each others names

#YES #FAVE

[cryptidtaqii]

This is for all you ladies out there.

#O H #FAVE #HONESTLY SAME

[cryptidtaqii]

hey guys

i have to help my brother out w his abusive ex boyfriend who steals his food and makes fun of his eating disorder so like please help and donate if you can!! my commissions are open too so!!!

paypal.me/marianep

thank you!! and if u want commissions hmu!!

#signal boost this!!! #abuse//