crocdaddy101

[crocdaddy101]

Nah it's chill. If they question the purity of their sweet best friend then they don't deserve that soft fluff bro and we'll know who gets dogs and who doesn't. It'll be a revolution for the betterment of caninity.

ugghhhhhhhh

im so tirrrrred

but my baby is so needyyyyyyy

somebody tell Bec to go to sleeep

#jade.txt #ramblings #bec #dave strider #reblog

[crocdaddy101]

Oh hell nah I'm not telling them what their dogs want for breakfast. I'm gonna talk to their dog then gasp like I just heard the foulest of god's forbidden language uttered from their precious pooches mouth.

They'll be like oh shit dude what did Fluffybutt Doc McSnufflebutter say.

And I'll be like dude you don't wanna know, just sleep with your light on tonight.

They'll be shitting in their white leather pants it'll be great.

ugghhhhhhhh

im so tirrrrred

but my baby is so needyyyyyyy

somebody tell Bec to go to sleeep

#jade.txt #ramblings #bec #dave strider #reblog

[crocdaddy101]

Wow I'm a fucking dog whisperer. I finally found a career path. Don't even worry about breathing, it ain't a necessity or anything.

ugghhhhhhhh

im so tirrrrred

but my baby is so needyyyyyyy

somebody tell Bec to go to sleeep

#jade.txt #ramblings #bec #dave strider #reblog

[crocdaddy101]

Bec for Christ's sake get some sleep I'll sing you a lullaby don't even fret dawg.

ugghhhhhhhh

im so tirrrrred

but my baby is so needyyyyyyy

somebody tell Bec to go to sleeep

#bec #jade.txt #ramblings

[crocdaddy101]

Oh yeah it's my birthday ain't it. Neat.

#lmao i forgot #as if i can afford cake #thats a rich people food #getting pushed out of mom's vaj day is cool

[crocdaddy101]

A light finally broke through the apartment, shining across the room toward John. Dave grabbed a handful of batteries just in case, some of which were likely dead, and with light dimly illuminating his face, he showed a vague hint of relief.

"Check it," He held up the flash light,"Junk drawers are the fucking best." He paused, still shining the light at John.

"So what the fuck are you doing?"

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#homestuck #homestuck rp #cyberpunkstuck #john egbert #dave strider #just a couple of guys being dudes #yuletide event

[crocdaddy101]

"Yeah, maybe," Dave felt his way around the apartment, carefully this time. He headed to what he hoped was the kitchen. Having a sleep over that night wasn't exactly the best move on his part, but who would've thought that the obscure message of some Christmas fucker wouldnt be a bluff? He doubted that the power would even be out long, no way She would let this go unpunished. But how much could She really do in this state?

He pushed the thoughts of the potential social uprising out of his head, trying to focus on the task at hand,"I might have a flashlight somewhere, hold on," He made it through to his kitchen, still blind as a bat. Maybe his eyes would adjust if he bothered to take off his visor, but God forbid the power started back up. That would look drastically uncool.

"The landlord might be copin' a feel of the place. Maintenance guy might know where the generators are, too," He said, feeling for the drawer furthest to the right along his counterspace--his junk drawer (or the drawer that was supposed to be the only one full of junk). He opened it up and plunged his hand into a mass of paperclips, broken earbuds, batteries of different sizes, and any other item a hoarder might have compressed into one area.

After a bit of digging, he felt a small metal cylinder. He ran his hand over the side of it, but there were no buttons. Wait, there was one, but...

God, why was there a can of shaving cream in there? What a mess, probably--if there was, nobody would see it anyway. He decided to keep looking after flicking the shaving cream off of his hand.

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#homestuck #homestuck rp #cyberpunkstuck #john egbert #dave strider #just a couple of guys being dudes #yuletide event

[crocdaddy101]

Dave loosened his grip on John's shoulder, letting his hand linger. He looked for any sign of natural lighting peaking through his curtains, but it looked almost pitch black, inside and out,"Yeah. I've got one or two," He answered, though he had a feeling that the outside wouldn't be a reassuring sight.

He felt John's hand on his shoulder, possibly as a gesture of good will. He took it as a go-to; a signal to stop leaving his hand on the other's shoulder which was admittedly a good call. That would've gotten awkward eventually, even if it was nearly impossible to see. He pulled his hand back, pausing to make sure he didn't hear John go anywhere.

He felt around for the coffee table as his friend apologized, standing up carefully. His visor flashed on and off, a solid red line appearing for only a moment before disappearing in favor of the darkness,"I get it, dude. You don't have to explain yourself," He assured, looking over to his window,"I'm gonna be doing the same shit when I stub my fucking toe on every object within a 5 mile radius."

Dave shuffled his way across the room, bumping into a few stray objects on the way to the window. He was doing well until he got eager, forgetting just how messy his apartment was. He took one big-boy step and immediately regretted it, hitting his foot against what felt like a bowling ball. Why the fuck did he even have a bowling ball?

He grabbed the windowsill and bit his lip, taking a deep breath to swallow back all of the many curses he wanted to scream like a banshee from New Jersey. He settled with a quiet,"Fuck," before pulling back the curtains and taking a long look outside.

Again, just as he thought: it wasn't a reassuring sight.

Snow blanketed the city that had never before shown signs of changing. Imperia had seemed impervious to outside forces, even mother nature, until the influence of a machine had broken through the bubble. Even stranger, there were no lights. A flickering billboard would hint at it from time to time, but otherwise, the only illumination was the light of the moon and stars, with their faded light bouncing off of the pure white blanket over the city. The whole setting was unfamiliar.

"Well that's fucked," Dave said plainly, feeling the ice-cold glass to get a taste of what they'd be dealing with. He pulled his hand back and rested it in his pocket,"This whole block looks shit out of luck."

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#homestuck #homestuck rp #cyberpunkstuck #john egbert #dave strider #just a couple of guys being dudes #yuletide event

[crocdaddy101]

Dave wasn't faced with much surprise when the lights flickered in the apartment, the building wasn't in its prime and the bulbs were in need of replacing. What caught him off guard, though, was the reaction of his guest, who was grasping onto his arm so tightly it was as if meteors were falling from the sky. His quick glance up to the flickering bulbs shifted as soon as he felt the sudden grab, making him flinch.  

He stared at John for a moment, noticing the pure alarm on his face; a fear that the lights would disappear any second. When his friend pulled tensely away from him, he reached up to his visor--the very same he was accused of using to "prank" John (which would've been a stupid prank to begin with)--as panels began to pop-up. They were alerts. It was the first day of December.  

Then everything went black. The visor, the lights, the tv, and the room were steeped in a deafening silence for a fraction of a second, before a horrified scream broke through the air.  

Dave pushed himself away from the sound at first, his heart beating faster at the sudden outburst. He was quick to regain his composure, though, tapping his finger against his visor in an attempt to get it working again to provide some light. Of course it didn't work, that would've been a stupid solution, so instead he felt around for John, hoping he still sat where he was before. He felt what must've been his shoulder, gripping it tightly,"Hey, John, calm down. It's just a power outage," He started, trying to show as much comfort as he could muster. Admittedly, he didn't understand what was so scary about the dark, especially considering he willingly wore a tinted visor in every setting, but it was easy to realize why John was frightened. In Imperia, there was never a time without light or without people, and there was only one of those comforts Dave could offer anymore. 

"I'm right here."

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

[crocdaddy101]

Dave gladly accepted the invitation to let his joke run cross-country, giving up on the civility of a bowl in favor of grabbing the whole bag of chips. He sunk back into the couch, starting up the movie so they could talk through the many logos and starting credits,”Come on, John. Chad Miller? From algebra,” He restated. 

“Everyone and their mother’s dead dog knows Chad Smith Miller,” He continued, forming his ridiculous narrative for the sake of a shitty joke,”Quarterback AND receiver for the Testosteroney Ponies? Captain of the Caucasian Club?” 

Dave shook his head in disappointment at John’s lack of knowledge in the made-up high school’s roster,”You’ve really got to get out more.” 

This was fucking ridiculous. But there was nothing quite like bad satire to make a good night moderately dumber. 

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#just a couple of guys being dudes #cyberpunkstuck #homestuck #homestuck rp #john egbert #dave strider

[crocdaddy101]

I just went and bought like 50 fucking flower pots ‘cause icy hell wants to kill ‘em or some shit. I’m the fuckin’ Mother Theresa of plants for the month. Do I have to get gifts for the plants? What the fuck do plants like. I’ve never had plants before do they have feelings.

#are plants jewish #happy hanukkah i guess

[crocdaddy101]

A simple “huh”. No big deal. Sure it was a weird response to an even weirder statement, but it made sense. Even still, it was like a harsh scream in Dave’s ear--which didn’t have music blasting into them for once. He couldn’t tell what words went with that scream, but they were nothing good, and suddenly he was regretting saying something so obscene when he had barely even talked to John before. 

He paused, processing his own scrambled thoughts for a moment before deciding to say something again,”You’ll get used to it,” He said vaguely. It was almost a promise, in his mind, that there would be enough time between them that John would get used to every bit of strange bullshit that happened to gush out of his mouth.

“Do you want anything before we start this shit?” He offered, nodding his head toward the kitchen,”I’ve got a ton of shit. Even cookie mix, if you really want to gossip about Chad from algebra,” He fanned himself with phony adoration.

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#homestuck #homestuck rp #cyberpunkstuck #dave strider #john egbert #just a couple of guys being dudes

[crocdaddy101]

"Yeah, you're kind of a crackpot, from what I've seen. You talk to plants and let out-of-season snowmen into your house," He teased,"But it's cool, it's not something I've seen before. Which kind of means everything around here."

He tapped his finger against his empty glass, watching the time tick by from the inside of his visor,"Maybe you're onto something with the plant shit, anyway. People thought the same shit about animals 'til a dog starting crying over a fuckin dead guy. I mean, I have no clue but that sounds like some shit that happened," He said,"My point is, you can shove it in everyone's faces when a tree starts crying. Out of what? Tree eyes, I guess. Two discoveries in one day, it's happened before."

Back Street’s Back

Wandering through a city as large as Imperia, there was bound to be surveillance–it’s just the way things were. Dave had accepted that way of thinking, that if it weren’t broken, don’t fix it. Some would argue otherwise, of course, but he didn’t have much to hide, so he didn’t have much care to give that he was under constant watch.

As he wandered through the city streets, crowded with grumbling citizens and lined with luminescent pink advertisements, he paid more mind than usual to the surveying drones. For today, he planned a little trip to an area most normal citizens agreed was where the “undesirables” lived–the back alleys.

Luckily, Dave didn’t think much of the people living in the back alleys. They couldn’t be any more undesirable than the people living within the prying eyes of Her.

As he approached an area crowded with overflowing trash cans, noticing a few rats scurrying by as he took another step closer, he knew he was in the right spot. Secluded from any drones (unless they started making them invisible) and seemingly out of sight of any busy-bodies. He turned down the retro music that constantly assaulted his ear drums, in case of an emergency, but he kept it at a high enough volume that he could still feel like every movement he made was absolutely and indisputably badass. Then, with his opportunity at hand, he wandered into the back alleys for the first time after a long hiatus from even stepping foot on the broken pavement.

#homestuck #homestuck rp #cyberpunkstuck #jade harley #dave strider #back street's back

[crocdaddy101]

My response has been pretty much the same, just writing my will for when I get inevitably fucked by crazy assholes and lost in a snowstorm. Who wants my crushed bag of potato chips and shitty ninja swords?

Who’s this Yuletide person?

Is that the girl who hijacked all the channels?

She didn’t really mean it when she said she was going to shut down all the electronics, right? She can’t actually do that.

Right?

#pale people problems #cheap shit #ill just die #it's chill

[crocdaddy101]

I can't believe Gucci Hitler called my waffle-eating ass out.

mmk, im pissed we only got five starbucks, six dunkin’ )(O-ENUTS, twenty donut shoppes, three I)(OPS, six waffle houses n a small ass coffee shop. would it kill imperia 2 get a fuckin worlds best coffee kiosk??? like who even GO-ES 2 waffle house anymore unless they a poor ass )(-EFFA??? im rackin up starbucks points faster than i can spend the bitches, i needa new cup of java😒😒😒

[crocdaddy101]

Ya'll so I know there's chilly beef all up in the fridge over the Jingle Bell Bastard or something, but I'm more concerned with the fact that I ain't gonna get paid this month. Manager is gonna see a snowman outside and give em my paycheck like what kind of bullshit is this. Fuckin Frosty stealing my minimum wage. Merry fucking Christmas.

[crocdaddy101]

Dave calmly ate some Doritos as John listed off activities he imagined the esteemed Mr.Strider to get into at such a late time,”Usually I’m just trying to sleep. And when that doesn’t work out, I just start worshiping the Old Gods with the corpses of slaughtered goat I keep in my fridge. You know, boring shit like that.” 

He turned his head to John to make sure he got it was a joke, and wasn’t white in the face,”Nah, but really, I just...make music or draw dumb shit.” He didn’t care to elaborate, turning on the television, where Marmaduke was readily available to watch. 

“We can watch your classic dogshit. You can prove me wrong about Marmaduke and shove Owen Wilson’s monster cock down my throat ‘til I have no choice but to kneel before his bent ass nose or risk a humiliating suffocation,” He offered, grabbing another handful of Doritos. 

Just A Couple Of Guys Being Dudes

After finally meeting John in person face-to face, rather than picture-to-picture (which was, admittedly, a rare thing to happen at all anymore), Dave decided to take a leap of faith and invite the young photographer over.

He was dolling up the room as much as he cared to. Pillows were picked up off the floor and thrown on the couch, blankets with unidentifiable stains were thrown in the closet and replaced with slightly cleaner ones, and chips and soda were in infinite supply. All he could hope for now was that he wouldn’t be a boring host or that John wouldn’t look through his stuff.

Dave glanced at the television during his final inspection of the area. It was turned off, just the way he liked it. There was nothing but garbage on there, unless you paid for subscriptions to streaming services or wanted to play video games–and he hardly had the money for either of those. Although, a few games were still handy.

Dave simply waited for minutes, looking back through old messages between him and his eventual guest to make sure he didn’t set the wrong date or time. Nope. It was 4:30, and John would be coming around soon…

#John egbert #Dave strider #homestuck #homestuck rp #just a couple of guys being dudes #cyberpunkstuck