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Always Something Underneath
Chapter 2 - A Taste of Peppermint
Lucifer x Fem!reader (prostitute character w/ accent)
Content warning: slow burn, talk of smoking, writing an accent, no proofread
Chapter Summary: You and Lucifer end up having a drink together when he shows up to the hotel and Charlie is out.
Chapter 1 𖤐 Chapter 2 (You are Here) 𖤐 Chapter 3 (WIP)
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The hotel bar was quiet tonight. As you entered the usually bustling hotel after having finished the couple of scheduled clients at the brothel, only to be met with a calm serenity, it was unsettling. It made you question if you were in the wrong place. You made your way over to the bar taking a seat. It was just you perched on a barstool at one end of the bar, Husk behind it closer to you, and another already severely intoxicated resident, who had their head down on the bar, at the other end.
“Hey Husk, where the heck is everybawdy ta’night?” you ask motioning with a sweep of an arm towards the empty expanse of the lobby. “It’s kinda weird.”
Husk looked towards you, from what appeared to be him taking inventory behind the bar, and shrugged. “Don’t know. I heard Charlie say something about bonding. Everyone needs to stop asking me that fucking question though. I’m not here to monitor who comes and goes.”
You hum in response, amused at Husk’s dislike for being the one everyone goes too yet disappointed at hearing everyone was out. One of the downsides of working while residing here was that you did occasionally miss out on the evening activities that Charlie organized. Not that you were personally willing to quit to attend them. It still left you feeling a little dejected. A trade off to ensuring your own financial stability. “You want something to drink?” Husk asked, noting you hadn’t headed off.
“A dirty shirley would be swell. When ya gawtta second that is.” You hear him mumble something along the lines of ‘you got it’ though he said it so low you weren’t totally sure. You sigh, as you twist in your seat so you’re facing the lobby. The idleness inciting the itch of a nicotine craving. You were trying to cut back and you had one on the walk home. Plus you didn’t want to go outside. Charlie had made it clear there should be no smoking in the hotel after you had already pushed your luck in your room.
Your hands wrung the edge of your skirt for a moment, before you put one hand up on the bar with your fingers to immediately begging to drum. Husk’s ear twitched and he glanced over as he whipped up your drink. “Quit it with the fingers. That’s annoying as shit.” he growled out, “Why the fuck you doing that anyway? You’re not usually one of the annoying ones.”
You ‘tsked’ the reprimand, your hand retreating to your lap once more. “Sorry Husk. I’m tryin’ ta quit smokin’ an’ I’m feel’in kinda antsy.”
“No shit.” he drawled, eyes locked onto you. “You actually believe this whole redemption bullshit don’t you?”
You shrug and lean back against the bar. “Believe it? Naw. I dun think it can hurt to try though. Bein’ slightly less shitty ain’t the worst thing ta be down here an if it werks I’d get’ta golden ticket. Not’ta bad trade off if ya ask me. If it werks that is.”
He scoffed, shaking his head just audibly muttering, “Nothing worse than being gullible down here…” He walked over sliding the drink next to your elbow. “I’ve heard in passing that eating sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds can help. Not the cravings but, it keeps your hands busy or something.”
“Oooh yeah that could werk. That’s a good idea!” you spun around in your seat, acquiescing to his comment about gullibility. You hadn’t ever considered yourself gullible for trying this redemption thing out but, you could admit some might see it that way.
He grinned and went to make a further comment before the front doors burst open. The both of you turned to see Lucifer sauntering in loudly humming to himself, radiating excitement. “Ah! Husk! Where is Charlie!” he immediately called out from across the room ambling towards the bar.
He sighed as you pursed your lips holding back a giggle. “Out.” he growled, ears flat.
“They had’a group thing planned ta’night.” you add, hoping to ease some of Husk’s irritation while satisfying Lucifer. You leaned over towards the seat next to you and patted the cushion. “Join me for’a drink Luci babe! I’m sure we gotta ‘nuff time for one!”
“Oh! How, thoughtful!” he said, the genuine happiness sliding into a facade to mask his nervousness.
“I got’ta question for ya I’ve been meanin’ ta ask!”
He gritted his teeth and closed the distance between himself in the bar. “Do you now?”
“What do you want?” Husk asked, diverting the topic away from your question.
Lucifer blinked and let out a breathy laugh, “I’m not much of a drinker.”
“Here!” you push your drink towards Lucifer, “A dirty shirley don’t taste much like alcohol, especially the way Husk here makes ‘em but, just’ta be sure try mine. I haven’t drank out’ta it yet.”
“Oh well I wouldn’t want it going to waste if I don’t like it!” he exclaimed, pushing it back towards you.
“I’ll just drink it. No worries.” you shrug nonchalantly. His face twisted in disgust as you both stared at one another for a moment. “What?”
“You’d drink out of a glass someone else drank from?” he gasped out incredulously. 
You laugh out lightly, thinking him joking, his expression unwavering. “Oh, shit you’re serious. Lucifa, sweety, did you forget ‘bout my profession? The things I haf’ta do with this mouth?” Husk barked out a laugh, “You’d probably be one’a the cleanest beings I’ve ever swapped bloodily fluids with. Do I need ta paint a more vivid pic’ta for ya?”
Lucifer’s disgust settled deeper into his features as your spiel continued. By the end, he was beyond disturbed with any remanence of the arriving excitement vanquished. “No. Please don’t.”
“Perfect!” you push the drink towards him once more, “So you’ll try it an if ya don’ like it I’ll drink it. Husk can make ya somin’ else, like a mudslide.”
“I’m a bartender not a fucking mixologist. I’m not making a mudslide. We don’t have heavy cream anyways.” Husk huffed out.
You ‘tsk’ the cat again and counter, “A mudslide is hawdly a complex cawlktail, Husk.”
“I’m not fucking making it.” he bit back resolutely.
As the squabbling occurred, Lucifer tentatively took the dirty shirley, gingerly sipping it. He blinked at the flavors playing on his tongue, mostly sweet with only a slight hint of alcoholic bite. He took a slightly bigger sip and hummed an approval. “This isn’t half bad!”
You side eyed Husk, shelving the mudslide conversation momentarily, before turning back to Lucifer with a smile. “Well, I’m glad you like it. Drinkin’ can be enjoyable, ‘specially when it don’ tas’ like shit. Jus’ gotta find out what’cha like.”
“How does a mudslide compare to this?” Lucifer asked, his interest genuinely peaked.
“Don’t you fucking start.” Husk growled
Lucifer raised a brow at Husk as a shit eating grin spread across your face, “It depends on what’cha like or ya mood. A dirty shirley is more of a..light an bubbly refreshin’ drink. A mudslide tho’ is a heavia drink since it’s made with cream. Kinda like a thin’a chawcalate milk but with more of a cawffe flava. If ya get it made with a little chawcalate ‘round the rim or in tha cup tho,” you paused and let out a soft hum, “that’s the best.”
Husk was shooting daggers as you talked. Giving him your most saccharine smile you asked in cloying tone, “Can I get anotha shirley?” 
Husk rolled his eyes, grabbing another glass. “Stop. Bringing. Up. Mudslides.”
“I can’t promise that. I can promise I won’t bring it up or mention it ‘round Angel though. If I was a gambal’a I’d bet my next paycheck he’d lov’a good mudslide. ‘Specially, knowing how fawned of makin’ em you are.” Your eyebrows raised as you cocked your head, silently challenging him to strike up a better counteroffer; his continued bartending services in exchange for your silence.
Husk groaned, fatigued at the idea of Angel hounding him to make the drink if only to infuriate him. While they certainly were on good terms, Angel would never let a golden goose like this go; to torment someone in such a mundane yet grating way. Always the sort to love getting a reaction out of people. Husk relented, “You’re killing me.”
You let out a single victorious giggle glancing at Lucifer offhandedly, instantly shocked. He had nearly downed his first shirley as you two dickered. “You might nawt be the only one I kill. Holy hell Lucifa. Slow down. We gawt the whole damn night.”
Husk looked at the glass in the king’s hand and shook his head. He placed your replacement dirty shirley on the bar. Lucifer shrugged, nonchalantly dismissing your concern. “I can handle a single drink.”
The bartender and you glance at one another, both nodding in silent solidarity given Lucifer had admitted to not being a drinker. Husk returned to his inventory, not asking Lucifer if he wanted another, and you proceeded to distract the king from requesting a second. “How ‘bout my question now that I gotta drink?”
He nervously chuckled and placed his hand and cup down on the bar. “What’s the question?”
“I waz curious how your powas werked. Like, what all can ya do? You helped build the hotel obviously. You gawt that nifty portal trick. Somebawdy said somethin ‘bout you turnin’ inta animals?” you asked, scooting to the edge of your seat towards Lucifer.
“Oh!” he laughed out, most of the nerves dissipating. “That’s it? I was worried you were going to ask me something…more uh…” He saw you smirk, raising a brow before he quickly decided to omit the concerned topic continuing on, “...never mind. My powers! Curious about my powers. Well it is very mutli-facitied. Powers of creation and all. I can create just about anything I can imagine of course. I can turn into any animal ever created so that was true. Shape shifting in general is a cinch.”
Instantly, you were sitting next to an anteater, followed by a chameleon, a house cat, and lastly his signature animal a snake. The last shift was back into his normal self. “Then of course I have the ability of duplication. It’s sort of a branch of the creation.” he said suddenly in the seat behind you as well as in front. At that point, the two of them took turns naming off of the things they could do.
 “The portals like you said; to places real and imagined.”
“Hellfire, which isn’t something I use often.”
“Angelic blasts on the flip side of that.”
“There are also the powers of healing.” he said, the Lucifer behind you poofing out of existence. “I can’t revive those who are dead, though that doesn’t matter much down here since people just regenerate as part of the whole hell existence. If they’re still breathing though I could just patch ‘em right up!”
“Can you help an addict who’s trying to quit? Take their cravings away?” Husk piped up out of the blue, looking at Lucifer over his clipboard.
Lucifer blinked, pondering it but a moment. “If it’s a physical reaction I could help. It wouldn’t stop them from picking it back up out of habit though. Is Angel Dust trying to quit finally?”
“Fucking doubt it. Charlie and Vaggie have found basically all his spots but it only seems to slow him down. He still gets it at work. This one here though…” Husk said, motioning the clipboard towards you. 
Lucifer turned to look at you with a tilted head with a surprised look on his face. You laughed softly, the feeling of being caught in the limelight for something kinda good a little unsettling. “Aw shucks Husk, ya didn’t need ta bring it up. I just stawted so I’m only down a couple cigarellos. It’s nothin’ ta raise cain about.”
“Are you serious about it?” Lucifer asked. “Stopping?”
“Part of the program ain’t it?” you smile finally sipping from your drink. “Gotta find betta copin’ mechanisms an awll that when I’m stressed out. Plus it ain’t great for ya. Husk mentioned eatin’ pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds to help which I’m gonna’ try.”
“Well that’s…commendable.” he said, nodding slowly, his eyes locked onto you. “I can do it but, only if you’re serious about it. I don’t want to do this and then turn around to find out you’ve picked up the habit again. It’d be…”
“Disappointing?” you asked before he had the chance. His brows knitted, his expression suddenly saturnine as he gave a curt nod. Your smile shrinks and you sigh, “I gawt it. Not everybawdy can be Chawlie; willin’ ta help in every an’ any way with unlimited hope for awll these hell bound souls.”
He didn’t want to verbally agree but the silence was more than enough to confirm it. “If ya want ta and are willin’, I’d owe ya one. I am serious though, ‘bout quittin’. I wouldn’t be mad if ya don’t of course. I wasn’ tryin’ to fanangle when I asked ‘bout ya powas. You’re just fascinatin’ and I’ma neb.” The typical smile you adorned grew back as you continued speaking.
Lucifer watched you for a moment before he sighed and held out his hands to you, palms up. “Charlie wouldn’t want to try anything we can…put your hands on mine.”
You released your drink and wiped the condensation from the cup on your skirt. Gently you placed your palms against his. His hands were surprisingly about the same size as yours despite the hight difference and they warmer than anyone else you had ever touched. Not to mention wonderfully soft. You suppressed a small hum and looked to him just as he closed his eyes. As the seconds passed, the nicotine craving started to subside. It was subtle at first but as it lessened into nothing it became very apparent. Almost alarmingly so.
“Better?” He asked, opening his eyes.
“It’s…” you hesitate, “kinda weird. I mean it’s gawn! Definitely betta in that sense. I don’t feel the cravin’ no more but… I guess… I gawt so use ta it bein’ there it’s weird nawt feelin’ it. ‘Specially awll of a sudden.”
“You’ll get used to it hopefully.” Lucifer said, not understanding the feeling but, trying to at least respect it.
You wrapped your hands around his and lightly squeezed, “Thank you. I own ya one.” You released his hands, not wanting to hold on too long despite the urge to.
“Don’t pick up the habit again and we’re even.” he replied, picking up what remained of his watered down drink to hold out the cup to you. You barked out a laugh and picked up your own cup, clinking the two together.
“Still owe ya, but if that makes ya feel betta that’s fine.” you sip from your drink and Lucifer finished off his just as Charlie and everyone who had gone out burst through the doors. 
“CHARLIE!” Lucifer exclaimed, rocketing off the seat. You laughed out at his antics, shaking your head at the king of hell. You watched for a moment Lucifer greet his daughter and part of the following scene of Alastor manifesting to antagonize the king.
You had no intention of wavering on your decision to quit smoking before but, the idea of letting him down after him helping you gripped our heart with a tight squeeze; the look on his face as he had hesitated to help you initially in fear of being let down. You couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at you like that. Like there was genuinely some hope. It certainly had to have been before you died. Down here, people didn’t expect anything from you to get disappointed by. 
You turned in your seat to find, next to your drink, two bags; one of pumpkin seeds and one of sunflowers. “What the…?” you jerked your head up to look at Husk who immediately pointed over towards Lucifer and Charlie as they walked off to talk about whatever had brought Lucifer bounding into the hotel in the first place with Alastor lurking behind.
“Sneaky devil…” you muttered, turning back to the gift. You emitted a giggle, grabbing one of the bags to look it over. That was…thoughtful. It made your heart swell and where your hands had touched his tingle. “Well…I really can’t let him down now.”
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fuck you (runs your cast iron pan through a dishwasher cycle)
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Aldera Experiences
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Would have been so funny if All Might had promised to give Izuku OFA after cleaning up the beach and then after Izuku was done, told him “There is no quirk. We just train until we get so ripped that everyone thinks it’s super strength.”
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ALAKAZAM!
I just can't. They're too cute
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beep boop beep
Adam is like a cool uncle who spawns out of nowhere once every couple of years, and the kids want to hang out with him.
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I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache
life just goes on no matter what
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 2 months
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Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/ 
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 2 months
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he didnt get in trouble for the arson part but rather because the fireman sued for emotional distress
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 3 months
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this fandom is in critical need for more textposts
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 4 months
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I’m still alive 👍
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 4 months
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No matter how big they get, they’ll always be a little sibling
I bet it’s a point of pride for Raph that he can so easily cart his brothers around, no matter how big they get! It’s so cute how they use him like a jungle gym. The unmade episode where it showed how close he and Mikey once were leaves a bit of a bittersweet feeling that really hits home for someone who also was close to their oldest sibling in a way much different than we are now.
When I was little I was so used to just being hauled around like a sack of flour, be it by my parents or siblings, that I would constantly ask to be carried everywhere. This is particularly inspired by my oldest sister, who would do strength training by carrying me on her back on hikes alongside her weighted equipment. Absolute madwoman.
Imagine some bad guy gets the upper hand, but Raph just lets his brothers off his shell like Goku taking off his training weights and punches them to oblivion lol
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 4 months
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Everyone reblog this IMMEDIATELY
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 4 months
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condy-wants-a-cookie · 4 months
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I love grindr images like this, they're so awesome sauced
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