coliviataylor

[coliviataylor]

I'm so sick of running as fast as I can; wondering if I'd get there quicker if I was a man

Taylor Swift (The Man)

#taylor swift #the man #quote

[coliviataylor]

I'll pay the price, you won't.

[coliviataylor]

Something I actually love about myself is my bangs. I say love them because this is my go to hair for work now. I am in the process of growing my hair back out and hopefully get it to a point where its to the middle of my back. It has been a little struggle with how much my hair has thinned out but I am growing to not hate it as much. My struggle to grow my hair out was always with how thick my hair has been. Something I envied in your hair also. Also your natural curls, I also relate. I hate them because they tend to only really be so strong in the underside of my hair. And then just a kinky mess after. Hopefully tying it back everyday instead of straightening it will bring some life back to it. Or at least more life. But I am more focussed on getting it long. I could never grow my hair out long before. So this time I am committed!

#taylor swift #dear taylor swift #hair

[coliviataylor]

Mini Chocolate Chip Cookie Bites

I have the slight urge to make adorable little mini chocolate chip cookies.

Ingredients

1 1/3 cups (178g) all-purpose flour (scoop and level to measure)

1 tsp (3g) cornstarch

1/4 + 1/8 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup (113g) unsalted butter

1/2 cup (100g) packed light-brown sugar

1/4 cup (50g) granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

2/3 cup (113g) mini semi-sweet chocolate chips , plus more for topping if desired

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a mixing bowl whisk together flour, cornstarch, baking soda and salt for 20 seconds, set aside.

Place butter in a microwave safe bowl, heat in microwave on HIGH power until butter has melted halfway. Remove and whisk until fully melted. Pour butter into the bowl of an electric stand mixer. 

Add brown sugar and granulated sugar, fit mixer with paddle attachment and blend mixture on medium speed until well combined. Mix in egg and vanilla extract. With mixer set on low speed, slowly add in dry ingredients and mix until combined. Stir in chocolate chips.

Scoop dough out a slightly heaping 1/2 tsp at a time and drop onto plates (wax paper, whatever). Shape each into a ball, then if desired press 3 - 4 more chocolate chips into top (totally optional, mostly for looks...and more chocolate).

Align on two parchment paper or silicone baking mat lined baking sheets, spacing 1-inch apart. Bake in preheated oven about 5 - 6 minutes (they should still fill soft and slightly under-baked, they will continue to cook slightly once removed from oven so carefully not to over-bake).  

Remove from oven and cool on baking sheet several minutes then transfer to a wire rack to cool. Store in an airtight container.

Source

#recipes #chocolate chip cookies

[coliviataylor]

Mini Cheesecakes

Ingredients

Graham Cracker Crust:

1 cup (120 grams) graham cracker crumbs

3 tablespoons (40 grams) granulated sugar

3 and 1/2 tablespoons (50 grams) unsalted butter melted

For the Cheesecake Filling

16 ounces (452 grams) brick-style cream cheese softened to room temperature

1/3 cup (80 grams) sour cream room temperature

1/2 cup (100 grams) granulated sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 large eggs room temperature

INSTRUCTIONS 

TO MAKE THE GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST:

Preheat oven to 325°F (163°C). Line a 12-count muffin pan with cupcake liners and set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, stir together the graham cracker crumbs and sugar. Add the melted butter and mix until all of the crumbs are moistened. Evenly distribute the mixture between all 12 liners and firmly press it down into one even layer.

Bake at 325°F (163°C) for 5 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside. Keep oven temperature at 325°F (163°C).

TO MAKE THE CHEESECAKE FILLING:

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, or in a large mixing bowl using an electric mixer, mix the cream cheese and sour cream together until smooth and creamy. Add the sugar and vanilla extract and mix until fully combined, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. Mix in the eggs, one at a time, on low speed until just combined.

Evenly distribute the batter between all 12 liners in the cupcake pan, filling each one almost all the way to the top.

Bake at 325°F (163°C) for 17-20 minutes or until the tops of the cheesecakes are set.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the pan for 1 hour. Carefully remove from the pan and chill in an airtight container in the refrigerator for 3-4 hours or overnight.

Source

#recipe #cheesecake

[coliviataylor]

Banana Pancakes

Ingredients

1½ cups all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons granulated sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon salt

2 ripe bananas, mashed

2 eggs

1 cup milk, any kind

1 teaspoon vanilla bean paste, or vanilla extract

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

More butter or oil, for greasing pan

Instructions 

In a medium bowl, whisk flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Set aside.

In another medium bowl, stir mashed bananas, eggs, milk, vanilla, and melted butter.

Add flour mixture to banana mixture and stir until just combined. Be careful not to overmix, otherwise your pancakes will be dense.

In a large skillet or griddle, melt 1 tablespoon of butter over medium heat. Pour batter by ¼ cupful into skillet and cook until edges are set and bubbles form in the center of pancakes, about 3-4 minutes. Flip and cook until browned, about 1 minute. Repeat process with rest of butter and pancakes.

Serve warm with maple syrup, if desired.

Source

#recipe #banana pancakes

[coliviataylor]

Cinnamon Rolls

Ingredients

Dough

1 package yeast (2 ¼ teaspoons)

1 cup milk

½ cup granulated sugar

4 cups all-purpose flour plus up to ½ cup more as needed

6 tablespoons butter diced and softened

1 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs

Filling

1 stick butter softened

½ cup brown sugar packed

½ cup white sugar

3 tablespoons ground cinnamon

Easy cream cheese frosting

¾ cup cream cheese

1 cup icing sugar or more to taste

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

pinch salt

Instructions

Make the dough

Warm milk to around 100°F. This will take 30-45 seconds in the microwave – do not use milk that is hotter than 105°F, or you will destroy the yeast!

Place yeast in small bowl with 1 tablespoon warm milk and 1 teaspoon granulated sugar. Stir, then let sit for 5 minutes, until bubbles appear on the surface.

Place flour, butter, salt, eggs, yeast mixture, remaining milk and sugar in the bowl of your stand mixer. Stir a little to roughly combine.

Knead dough in the mixer with the dough hook attached on medium speed until dough forms a ball. Dough should be completely smooth. If dough doesn't form a ball: Add more flour, 1 tablespoon at a time with the mixer running on low speed, until dough pulls together (do not add too much flour, or dough will have a biscuit-like texture). Kneading can take around 10-12 minutes, so be patient.

Turn dough out into a greased bowl. Shape into a ball, pinching the bottom to form a smooth surface. Place it seam down, then cover with a clean tea towel. Let the dough rise in a warm place for 1 hour, or until doubled in size.

Shape the cinnamon rolls

Dust work surface with flour. Turn out dough on floured surface, punch down and shape into a rectangle.

Roll dough into rectangle, about 18×12 inches. Dough should be around ¼ inch thick.

Spread 1 stick softened butter over dough. Combine both sugars and the cinnamon for the filling in a small bowl. Evenly sprinkle over butter.

Roll up into a log from the longer side and pinch the seam to seal. Place log seam-side down. Slice into 12 rolls (I use a piece of sewing thread or dental floss for neat rolls).

Place rolls in greased 9×13 inch pan. Cover with the tea towel and let sit until puffy and almost doubled in size, about 30 minutes.

Bake cinnamon rolls

As rolls rise, heat oven to 350°F.

Bake risen rolls in the hot oven until lightly golden brown. This takes around 18 minutes. Be sure to check the rolls often. If center rolls aren't baked after 20 minutes, tent pan with aluminum foil and continue baking for up to 15-20 extra minutes (this can happen if your room was cool and the dough is colder due to it).

Frost rolls

Place ingredients for the frosting in a medium mixing bowl. Beat with a hand mixer until smooth.

Once cinnamon rolls are done, remove pan form oven and place on a wire rack. Let sit for 5 minutes, then frost rolls while warm.

Let cinnamon rolls cool until they can be touched, then serve warm.

Source

#recipe #breakfast time #cinnamon roll

[coliviataylor]

I'm exhausted

Can we just talk about how exhausting life has become? I feel the older I get the busier and busier I get and it is exhausting. Where I forget how to relax. I told Frank today that I would relax and I feel as though I was just so lazy but I didn’t “relax”. Does that make any sense? Probably not. I am just so tired lately. Especially being back at work. I knew being off for 6 months would be a shock to the body going back to full time but damn it is kicking my ass harder than I thought it would. It doesn’t help that I am still so bitter going back and I am miserable being there. Sorta. It is a long story that I don’t feel like getting into right now, another night I will explain it. 

So yeah just so exhausted. I am also exhausted from the flood of inspiration I guess you could call it, but the lack of time. I just have so much built up that I just want to get all off my chest. Ahhhh anyways I am finally watching the Eras Tour Movie. To say I am excited to finally be watching it is an understatement. I plan to talk about more of it later, for now I will just say I wish I could talk to you about this. About you work, About your life. About how you are truly doing. It has been exciting to see your life unfold as you re-release all your work, So because I am finally watching it, all the plans I had for the day went out the window. They will be for tomorrow. Actually I should write down a plan for tomorrow so I can stick to it and here is a good place to try that out. 

So tomorrow’s goals: 

Laundry, I want to at least get all our clothes washed and ready for the workweek. Oh and a load of towels. 

Clean the condo. Mostly tidy up and then mop the floors. It has been a couple weeks and I notice the older I get the more tightened my anxiety is when I have a messy place. I am trying to embrace the keeping it clean but its hard living with two boys. 

Make a match of cinnamon rolls for the monsters breakfast for the week. Plus I will and also try and bring it for my breakfasts at the office. 

Attempt at making cheesecake cupcakes. I am craving cheesecake so I though I will just make tiny ones for easy grab and go. 

Dinner prep with a chicken pot pie noodle skillet

Dinner prep for taco night. Not sure what night I am going to do it but I think Judo night! 

Prep some banana pancakes to put in the freezer. I recently made some and really enjoyed them. Then I put them in the monsters lunch one day and he ate them! I have been trying hard to get him to eat his lunches and when something new works it works, but then he starts to not touch it. So banana pancakes is a new idea I'm running with. Plus I might steal some for myself at work also. 

Make some Christmas Crack. I am craving it a bit after eating all this halloween candy. 

Make ribs for dinner. The monster is coming back from his moms and it will be just him and me. So might treat him with ribs and let his dad have the leftover for his lunches. 

Oh the list is already exhausting me. But if I get all that done I know I will feel good. I wasn’t able to relax today because all I thought about what all the things I wanted to get done. Then I kick myself in the ass for not doing it and because of that I couldn’t relax. So tomorrow I know I will be able to feel good once that is all done! I know it will also help me cruise through the week better. I am dreading work and a way I made it a bit more tolerable is a huge decluttering, so I look forward to spending my days with less mess to endure. If I have better order in my house I will feel good coming home at the end of the day. So hopefully writing it down will allow me to stick better to my goals. 

#taylor swift #dear taylor swift #love colivia

[coliviataylor]

Dear Miss Americana

I am ripping the bandaid off and just going to do it. Sounds stupid to start that way but it is just the way I see it. You see, it has been quite sometime that I have been wanting to commit to a journal. I need to do it for myself. And honestly the only way I envisioned it was writing to someone. Or something that had meaning whether that be meaning to me or to others. To me, you mean so much. You are what helps me be who I am. And the few people that I actually cherish in my life are the ones that allow me to feel my love for you. And I don’t feel I need to hide. Because for some odd reason it is something I feel I need to do. Just because if I express it, I get disappointed in others for not allowing me to express it. That is why it saddens me I will never experience you from the comfort of my own home. I will never have more than what your make public to the world. Where deep down I just feel it could be so much more. 

Anyways I am starting to ramble and I don’t want to do that. This journal is meant to be effortless and just allow myself to have a best friend outlet for my chaos life. Because that is exactly what my life has become. It has been exhausting to say the least. I will most likely get into a lot of that later on, but for now I just want to introduce myself and let your know what I am doing here. 

So you can call me COlivia. This is actually a pseudonym and not my real name. I somehow came up with an alter ego, Olivia one drunken night bowling with my sister. I forget how it came about but I said if I could have another name it would be Olivia. And then I also said that Olivia is my alter ego that is more fearless and wild. The same way I would be if I were born a different person and had a different path in life. In my head I somehow feel I was meant to do something else in life, I was meant to be somewhere else. And Olivia became my “alter ego” that I channelled to became or feel the slight happiness I craved in life. So yeah my way of saying if I could hit the reset button on life and be someone else, I would be Olivia. The C was added randomly when I needed two names and I put the initial of my actual first name. Something about it just had a nice ring to it. COlivia. Well I liked it anyways. So that is the story of my name. 

Now to get to what I am doing here. Here I am finally committing to letting go of my insecurities, hiding in plain sight and just being who I really am! Embracing the things I actually love in life. And speaking of that alter ego and having a different life. Well as crazy as it sounds we would be friends. Friends in a way its mellow. Its something that is just normal and something I can have. I know that will never happen in real life. But in my dreams it would be just how I always thought it would be. Okay I think I am starting to put my foot in my mouth. I am just here writing to you. Like it is my personal journal. Like it as if I would pick up my phone and text you mid day about things. Things we would discuss over wine on my couch. These are things that I just wish I could have in my life but I know that will never exist. To be honest I don’t even think I will ever get to experience you live in concert. With the hype you get, I one can’t afford to pay for overpriced tickets. Two, I am sure if I attempted to get tickets, it would be sold out before I could get any. And thirdly I don’t have someone that I could go with. I feel I don’t have anyone one in my life to talk and enjoy your word. That brings me here. In my own little corner where I can be what I want and that is simply to be your friend. But enough about that. I am choosing to put myself out there not for the attention, but who know, maybe it could get your attention. And if it doesn’t I just like to have it for myself to look back on. A piece of my life I created to give me more joy in life. 

Anyways, that is a little introduction to what I am doing here. In summary I am here, hiding in plain sight while I document the little things in life that I hope to never forget.

#taylor swift #dear taylor swift #love COlivia