cohozuna

[cohozuna]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[cohozuna]

happy birthday mother 3!!!! its objectively the best game everyone needs to play it immediately

#mother 3

[cohozuna]

[cohozuna]

what the hell is he blabering about

#mother 3

[cohozuna]

I need a boyfriend that I dominate and another one that dominates me but the one I dom in turn dominates the one that doms me. Like a Rock Paper Scissors throuple. Lol I don’t actually want this but it’s a funny concept to think about. and would heal the world

[cohozuna]

the mighty gar...

(my half of an art trade with @jackalspine!)

[cohozuna]

the cannon beach painting i did is probably my favorite just bc i really enjoy the mark-making here i just think its a shame its being applied to something nobodies gonna think about for more than a minute

one of the biggest things i had to come to grips with art wise is that i can do realism pretty well but just completely fail at anything stylized. sure i can make a pretty picture from what i see but what does it matter when the only thing people take from it is "waow so good thought it was a picture" yeah its a compliment but its one that makes me feel awful bc i realize i do not want my shit to look like a picture. i FUCKING SUUUUCK at drawing and that isnt me being hehe quirky artist who says they cant draw and actually can i mean this shit is difficult as fuck and nobody would understand the extent to how awful i am at actually drawing unless they see me try to. all of my finished pieces were absolutely painstaking and i see ppl do the stuff that takes me many hours much quicker and with more personality with about the same experience shit makes me insane i am trying to learn but my god its like my brain just does not want to cooperate with me it makes it so so hard because i just have an awful mental block. genuinely used to just draw effortlessly (albeit not as well so at least i AM improving somewhat) but now even the simplest shit just overwhelms me. idk what it is. i like to think im pretty good with paintings but god it is so so difficult to do what i wanna without it taking far too long. i am so jealous of ppl who can do quality sketches on a whim. ive noticed i do a lot better blocking out a silhouette and then drawing lines over that when i sketch. makes me think im just not very line-brained?? stupid way to put it idgaf its 5 am. Truly the best thing has been drawing on a shared canvas or on stream idk why it works but it does it just kinda lets me actually make something. i dont wanna just whinge and cry about it but it is truly aggravating and so deeply frustrating to feel like im regressing in my ability to Just Draw because its undoubtedly a psychological thing. ive just been in this rut for yrs now its awful. thinking about buying a sketchbook again tbh

[cohozuna]

one of the biggest things i had to come to grips with art wise is that i can do realism pretty well but just completely fail at anything stylized. sure i can make a pretty picture from what i see but what does it matter when the only thing people take from it is "waow so good thought it was a picture" yeah its a compliment but its one that makes me feel awful bc i realize i do not want my shit to look like a picture. i FUCKING SUUUUCK at drawing and that isnt me being hehe quirky artist who says they cant draw and actually can i mean this shit is difficult as fuck and nobody would understand the extent to how awful i am at actually drawing unless they see me try to. all of my finished pieces were absolutely painstaking and i see ppl do the stuff that takes me many hours much quicker and with more personality with about the same experience shit makes me insane i am trying to learn but my god its like my brain just does not want to cooperate with me it makes it so so hard because i just have an awful mental block. genuinely used to just draw effortlessly (albeit not as well so at least i AM improving somewhat) but now even the simplest shit just overwhelms me. idk what it is. i like to think im pretty good with paintings but god it is so so difficult to do what i wanna without it taking far too long. i am so jealous of ppl who can do quality sketches on a whim. ive noticed i do a lot better blocking out a silhouette and then drawing lines over that when i sketch. makes me think im just not very line-brained?? stupid way to put it idgaf its 5 am. Truly the best thing has been drawing on a shared canvas or on stream idk why it works but it does it just kinda lets me actually make something. i dont wanna just whinge and cry about it but it is truly aggravating and so deeply frustrating to feel like im regressing in my ability to Just Draw because its undoubtedly a psychological thing. ive just been in this rut for yrs now its awful. thinking about buying a sketchbook again tbh

#goodnight #i kust dont know how to explain it #i know im not unique here i am not the specialest most tormented artist #but holy fuck does it feel like its especially bad for me #its been like this for years now #im getting better while drawing far less and with much greater difficulty #i think im just mentally ill im ngl #its some sort of fear of inadequacy i dont know god that is so gay DHUT UP!!! #i wanna enjoy art again and i wanna do it more often god damnit im going to make it happen #ive been taking steps to at elast try and make it happen again i just cannot keep being in this damn rut i hate it #god i am so mad i #and i do enjoy my paintings i just think #that theyre lame #when i do them again i want to do more original shit and put some meaning and feeling to it beyond 'waow impressive' #i have lots of ideas for shit like that its just difficult ss fuck to actuslly get myself to do it #lazy motherfucker!!!

[cohozuna]

i had such a horrible awful dream earlier i hate the nightmares that force me to reflect on my psychological state n shit its just not right. really not good.

#i woke up in a panic my heart was racing i felt dizzy couldnt breathe right and my chest STILL hurts #first thing i did was text my good friend but i did not wanna have to explain to him what actually happened in the dream #i cant stop thinking about it #i need a hug real bad man i have not felt such an intense horrible dread in so long and i felt like i was having a damn heart attack #my heart was pounding SO BAD in the dream and when i woke up it was just as painful #i hate this shit #the real psychological dreams i have haunt me forever #i got up to get water and had to brace myself on the wall because i was about to pass the hell out otherwise #cptsd nightmares go hard

[cohozuna]

Tricolored heron By: Caulfield From: Natural History Magazine 1984

#birds

[cohozuna]

Sable Antelope by Winifred Austen. From Wild Beasts of the World, Vol. Two. Written by Frank Finn, published in 1909.

Internet Archive

[cohozuna]

African Wild Dogs, Tanzania -- 72 x 44 cm. Woodcut. Wolfgang Weber (b. 1936)

via

[cohozuna]

I deserve more credit for not picking stupid fights on the internet than a nice person who doesn't pick fights does, because I have an unpleasant personality and it's harder for me

[cohozuna]

[cohozuna]

guy scanning my food: thatll be 300 dollars

the screen on the card swiper: would you like to donate 100% of the food you just bought to a little ant?

me: hm

[cohozuna]

#aq

[cohozuna]

will you take my gay ass to the botanical garden please.