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MAGGIE Q as NIKITA MEARS NIKITA | S01E13, Coup de Grace

#( * hortensia lyme | visage. )

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nikita mears appreciation week: day 3 - favorite quote

#( * hortensia lyme | visage. ) #( * hortensia lyme | muse. )

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You’re a wildflower. Wildflowers, they grow in the desert. The most horrible place on the planet. Because they save their strength and they wait for the rain to come, and they reach for the sun and they bloom. And that’s what you’re gonna do, Nikita. You’re gonna bloom.

#( * hortensia lyme | muse. ) #( * hortensia lyme | visage. )

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“those who escape hell, however, never talk about it & nothing much bothers them after that.”

— Charles Bukowski, from “Lost” (via theclassicsreader)

#( * hortensia lyme | muse. )

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And who might you be? Girlfriend? Wife? I’m the muscle.

#( * hortensia lyme | visage. )

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A one-woman army

#( * hortensia lyme | muse. ) #( * hortensia lyme | visage. )

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#yes i AM still posting musing content on lyme even tho i dropped her bc i love her #even if i cant have her rn #( * hortensia lyme | muse. )

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[Caesar] Tens across the board! My dear, I knew you would never betray us unlike some certain victors. [Side eyes] I must know with everything gone on...how have you been keeping busy? It was seemed hard to pin you down for even a comment let alone interview. [Laughs]

Caesar wasn't who she worried about, he was easily fooled with a well timed joke and a hearty laugh at one of his shitty jokes, anything to make him feel like an old friend, give him some semblance of relevance he so desperately craved. But still, she knew his acceptance would go far with the public and some officials. But it wouldn't fool the person that needed fooling most: Snow. He had always been so sure of his own mind, which Lyme imagined came from years and years of being right.

But they knew he also appreciated the game, and if you played along, you were rewarded. And Lyme had their eyes on an awfully big reward. So she turned on the charm.

"Before the capitol, before the academy, I was just some skinny, scared girl who was afraid of their own shadow. The capitol made me strong. It made me powerful. Why would I ever betray that?" It also had made her a killer, had stained her hands with more than just blood. "Well there's a lot to do when you're not busy betraying your country," Lyme let out a loud laugh, leaning forward and patting Caesar's hand as if they had just told the funniest of all jokes. "I've spent some time with our dear president, with some of the other victors who have proven their love for our people and who have remained in the capitol during this difficult time. And other than that...It's been business as usual, Caesar. This rebellion is a flash in the pan, no need to change our daily lives over something so inconsequential."

#( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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#( * hortensia lyme | music. ) #Spotify

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what’s the first major event they remember in their life? & do they have any habits they believe are odd?

what’s the first major event they remember in their life?

Lyme remembers crying, seeing her brothers fighting each other. She was too young to understand that they weren't actually trying to hurt each other (okay, maybe a bit, but no maiming), but they were practicing. When little Hortensia went running to their mom, sobbing that they were being mean to each other, their mother tried to explain exactly what they were doing, why they were practicing 'being mean', but Hortensia still didn't get it. Finally, frustrated with her daughter's crying and wanting it to stop, she simply explained that being mean and hurting each other was the way the showed love. It was an off handed comment, meant to help her daughter get over it, but it was one of those deep seeded beliefs that Lyme held in their heart for years and years.

do they have any habits they believe are odd?

Sometimes Lyme forgets to talk. So caught up in strategizing the future to repay her sins of the past, she gets so deeply dug into her own head that unless directly spoken too, they could stand in a room full of people for 10 years and never speak a word, brain focused on too much else to consider climbing it's way out of it's hole. --- After winning the games and going on their victory tour, after returning to their home in the Victory Village, there was a period of time that they didn't talk to another living soul for 3 weeks. That's her record, so far.

#( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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has anyone ever betrayed their trust? do they still speak to them? / what do they consider their worst habit? / do they celebrate any holidays? what are the celebrations like? do they have a favorite?

has anyone ever betrayed their trust? do they still speak to them?

It's not that Lyme doesn't trust, because they do, that's apart of life. We trust people with little bits of ourselves every day. But she's never found herself caring enough about a person for it to be considered a betrayal. But she has betrayed her own trust. She let herself hide her own truth, the core of who she was, for petty revenge and to prove people wrong...And look where she ended up because of it. A Victor. But of what, other than senseless violence and staining blood? If they hadn't betrayed themselves, hadn't given into weakness, their life would be so different than what it is now, and she's not sure that's something she can ever forgive herself for.

do they celebrate any holidays? what are the celebrations like? do they have a favorite?

It's a bit morbid, but no. Between all the pomp and circumstance surrounding holidays they had grown up with (everything had to be perfect but nothing ever was) and the constant celebrations she was forced to attend in the capitol...When Lyme is back in 2, in their own house, even when the rest of the district may be celebrating, her house remains dark. No lights, no songs, just her. They're not even sure if they know how to celebrate without it being a farce, anymore.

#can someone please give lyme a zoloft #i beg o fyou #( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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how do they handle being upset/angry?  do they yell, cry, go silent, etc?

When not inhabiting their Victor Personality, as she likes to call it, Lyme is a quiet person by nature. They always have been. She sits back and watches. Always watching. It's how she understands how to interact with the world. She studies the people around her and reacts accordingly. But when they're upset, she's even more so. Raised in a household where tears received little to no comfort, perhaps a taunt or two from their four older brothers who were anything but protective, Lyme learned at a young age that tears, hurt, pain, anger...All of that was a private affair, and should be kept as such.

Bedrooms were used for sleeping and hiding those pesky feelings away from the world, making her room both a sanctuary and a padded cell.

#( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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I'm gonna be released from behind these lies And I don't care whether I live or die And I'm losing blood, I'm gonna leave my bones

#( * hortensia lyme | music. ) #Spotify

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What is something Lyme currently misses?

She misses her family before they realize she had what it took to become a volunteer tribute and possible victor. They had never been a perfect family, their parents far too obsessed with their place in the world and their brothers' tendency to ignore their own sister. It wasn't a perfect family, but it was theirs. Even though she often felt separated from them, as if watching a complete family unit through a foggy window, like some peeping tom. But that was what they had been raised in, so it didn't feel too odd.

But it did feel odd when all the sudden they weren't on the outside looking in, but rather tugged through an open window and put at the head of the table. Her brothers' hurtful critiques had suddenly turned into attempts at helpful advice, as if strategizing with her. Her parents' often lackluster attention suddenly turned shiny and all consuming, constantly wondering how they were feeling and where they had been.

It was almost a relief to move into the Victor's Village alone, to escape what had been the alternate reality that had taken over their childhood home.

#( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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[Interrogation] That's a lot of smoke for someone whose District has been involved on the treasonous ways. Let's talk about your...allies. Did the actions of Brutus Steele, Cadence Kentwell, Enobaria Ismene, and Thea Ellis surprise you?

Where there's smoke there's fire...

But she wasn't about to say that. "Allies is a bit of a jump for people who really only interact once a year during the games." Lyme replied breezily, "Wait, no, that's a lie, I talk to Eno a bit. But that's it." they finished with a shrug. "I know you guys watch us, check your tapes or bugs or whatever, you'll see I'm right. I don't play well with others. It's one of the reasons the academy trainers liked me." She had been easy to mold into a weapon. They took someone that was so angry but had only blunt sides and sharpened her until all she had were edges, and she stayed that way for a long time.

"People are complicated things." They began to answer, trying to say nothing while saying something, not trying to flaunt her own knowledge of who might or might not be involved in the rebellion, while also knowing to say they were surprised would be a tacit acknowledgement these victors were apart of the rebellion, or at the very least an agreement at the theory. Lyme knew none of the names mentioned, as far as she had been aware, were apart of the rebellion, which made the fact that some of them were rotting in a capitol cell somewhere while she was free, ironic. "You can never know what's in a person's mind. Sometimes they don't even know themselves. I used to think I could figure everyone out, but I no longer am surprised by the fact that people surprise me."

#( * hortensia lyme | asks. )

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#( * hortensia lyme | music. ) #Spotify

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where: off the beaten path of a busy capitol park who: @heliosxargent

If it had been up to them, she would have retired from capitol life entirely, retreated to 2 and worked with the rebellion from there. But their access in the capitol was unfortunately a strategic advantage she and the rebellion had to take advantage of. From the rubbing of elbows with those who might have useful information, to having a chance to turn citizens, victors and others in the capitol to the cause, it was a sacrifice she had to make.

Unfortunately, Lyme hadn't realized just how god damn hard it was going to be. Recruiting folks, that is. She had never been particularly skilled at making friends and found it had to find openings to slide into. Having to say everything without saying nothing was almost unbearable and made for a glacial pace. But it was necessary, going fast could mean the loss of their heads, or tongues if they were lucky.

Lyme had spent years on Helios, trying and failing many times to get their point across without risking her and the rebellion's safety. But it seemed they recently had a breakthrough of sorts, perhaps caused by the recent onset of events; sugared words had been put aside and they both felt safe enough with the threat of mutually assured destruction to speak more openly.

"I thought you were gonna stand my ass up, Argent." Lyme called from their spot on the bench, bobbing foot attached to crossed leg.

#( * threads | ft. helios argent. )