classycadaver

[classycadaver]

This TikTok was too funny!!! Home Alone/RE8 mashup!

[classycadaver]

soooo today i learned that back in the early 90s, coca cola tried making this thing called “ok soda” as a marketing stunt to beat out pepsi since they had way more of a hold on the “younger/rebellious” generation at the time, and their way of doing that was naming it “ok soda” so that they could copyright the word “ok”, the most popular word in the world, and at the same time brand it as an…ironic soda??? like the whole thing with it was that they tried to brand ok soda as a counterculture soda but instead of making it about typical 90s RADICAL EXTREME!!! fodder the theme of it was uh. unsettling capitalist brutalist dystopia. instead of being bright and colorful the color scheme was only stark whites, grays and reds and the cans looked like this. bold shapes and labels stating ominous, robotic things with a figure always staring dead into you on the front, no coca cola branding on it at all.

sometimes there would be “prize cans” of this stuff where instead of having soda inside it there would be hats. and they didn’t sell this option in boxes by the way they just put prize cans in random vending machines. and put like 25 cents in it so hey. you could get an actual soda that isn’t just hats. maybe.

did i mention that this soda also had a fucking MANIFESTO??? because yeah it sure had that printed on some cans and it goes as follows

and there’s these things called “coincidences”, which… yeah it doesn’t make it sound any less ominous

and you might be wondering how the soda itself tastes like does it taste good? ok? well apparently it was just a regular “citric” tasting soda but somehow they fucked it up so bad that it was compared to “carbonated tree sap”, and instead of trying to make the drink taste better they included that it tasted like shit, INTO THE ADVERTISING SCHEME ITSELF. they would literally advertise that it tasted like ass as a part of the ironic marketing, no i am not kidding.

but if you thought that’s where it ended there’s one more curveball and without any exaggeration, you will not expect what i am about to tell you.

take a look at this guy.

this guy is the “face” of ok soda, as in he was printed on the most cans and technically served as a mascot of sorts for the entire thing. his face was a major part of the branding, and this design for the cans was one of if not the most common.

okay. cool. no issue there right?

take a guess on who this guy is based off of.

the artist’s coworker? a generic guy? the artist himself? a relative? some random reference model they hired?

CHARLES MANSON. YES, THIS IS REAL. MEANING FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME, CHARLES MANSON’S FACE WAS USED AS A MEANS TO SELL COCA COLA.

the lead artist himself has even come forward to say this is the case. and now you may be asking wait. how’d he do this? how’d he possibly get away with this, years after the crimes had been committed?

well according to him, it was simple. apparently none of the contracts he signed said anything against putting a mass murderer on the can. so. there’s THAT.

unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, ok soda never really caught on since *surprise surprise!* teens really don’t want to buy soda that looks like a brutalist art museum, and it never had a wide release so it was only a thing for like two years between 1993 and 1995. but from what i’ve heard there’s still people who are giving this soda a small modern following, collecting all the cans and merchandise and even coming up with stand in recipes for the soda formula itself.

so yeah! that was ok soda.

what the fuck

[classycadaver]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. [phone]

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. [phone]

Relationships Australia Tel. [phone]

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. [phone]

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

[classycadaver]

You know, if Stella's plan succeeds and Striker manages to kill Stolas, I wouldn't be surprised if Striker immediately delivers a karmic death to her as well.

Even if he was trying to get Blitzo on his side, his comments on how the two are superior to the rest of their species and how they could basically rule Hell by killing the Overlords and other powerful demons, effectively becoming the most powerful and feared demons themselves in the process, seemed pretty genuine.

During the whole episode Striker's been making snide remarks about Stolas, barely hiding his contempt for him and the demon aristocracy through a charming persona. So I think it's fair to say he genuinely hates Hell's hierarchy and wants to bring it down. And since he's willing to kill Stolas, who's to say he won't turn his back on Stella and kill her too?

She gave her the means (the demon-killing rifle), the money, and the chance to get close to them. There's literally nothing that's stopping Striker from getting rid of her as well.

Just imagine: he stays true to his word and kills Stolas however, after getting Stella to lower her guard and pay him for his services, he makes sure she can never bitch about her husband's infidelity ever again. And hence, his ascension to Hell's throne begins.

Of course, I would fucking sob if Stolas dies. He's my favourite slutty, smitten, dorky dad! Via needs him! I need him to be with his special little Starfire!!

[classycadaver]

Ranboo goes to Ikea

[classycadaver]

Avatar AU?

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Warrior Cats but when a kit is born especially weak or disabled, and there is a low chance of their survival, the parents can decide to take the kit to the Twolegplace and ask a kittypet to take them home. 

Or, an alternate universe in which Snowkit was taken to live with Smudge. 

[classycadaver]

Warrior Cats but when a cat who was considered terrible in life dies, they go to a sort of purgatory before fully entering the afterlife. 

There, they meet with the spirit of a cat who was important to them, and that cat will simply ask in some variation, “Are you sorry?“

For the cats who commit the worst of deeds, they’ll often hear the voices of Dark Forest cats whispering at them, trying to distract them and convince them that they were justified in their actions. The StarClan spirit can’t do anything to stop them, and will simply wait for the cat to answer.

If the cat in question expresses regret and seems to understand their mistakes, they’ll be granted access to StarClan. If not, then it is the Dark Forest that waits for them. 

[classycadaver]

Honestly there are so many antagonist types that could fit into Warriors, with a lot of different personalities and limitations.

The Bitch: Steps on others to get what they want. Has no qualms about lying, cheating, or beating others down on the path to their goal. Fits the typical apprentice rivalry.  

The Leader: Will do anything to make sure that order and old traditions are maintained. Very controlling and unwilling to compromise. Role is self-explanatory.

The Traitor: Two-faced. Will be a good friend until they get what they want, and will turn on their allies whenever it’s convenient. Their betrayal will likely cause the protagonist to have trust issues later on.

Keep reading

[classycadaver]

Warriors but the leaders, medicine cats, and elders make up a sort of “council” who do their best to maintain balance as they negotiate Clan matters and interpret signs from StarClan. 

[classycadaver]

Where is my anarchist character who hates the structure and biases that the Clans created and breaks rules because the rules are shit and doesn’t think twice about telling off a leader for being a dumbass. 

They think the idea of looking up to StarClan is dumb not because StarClan doesn’t have good intentions or doen’t exist, but because it’s made up of a bunch of regular cats who happen to be dead. There’s nothing special about them and following their orders is just stopping the Clans from progressing.

[classycadaver]

It’s Warrior Cats but when a medicine cat recieves their full name, they are compared to a flower that symbolizes them and from then on identify with that flower. 

The flowers are a way of symbolically tying the cat to the living world in spite of their connections with the afterlife. The message that the flower is tied to has also led to beliefs about what kind of medicine cat they will be and how their Clan will fare in the future. 

For instance, a medicine cat tied to lavender is believed to be a peacemaker and will help their Clan grow stronger. Meanwhile, a cat tied to daisies may help bring about a new era for the Clan, but many cats may die along the way.

Many medcats keep dried petals and stems woven into their dens and nest. They don’t operate according to the flowers, but instead believe that the flowers are theirs because of their actions. Simply put, a medicine cat’s natural personality and fate is what gives them their flower, not the other way around.

It is also considered bad luck for a medicine cat to reject their flower, no matter what its meaning may be. Doing that would mean rejecting the living world and the cats who are still alive and in need. 

When a medicine cat dies, they are buried with the roots of their flower. This symbolizes their spirits being released from the Earth and its woes.

[classycadaver]

wc prefixes and suffixes

prefixes: Acorn, Adder, Alder, Aloe, Amber, Ant, Apple, Ash, Ashen, Aspen, Auburn, Babble, Badger, Barley, Basil, Bat, Bay, Bear, Beaver, Beech, Bee, Beetle, Berry, Birch, Bird, Black, Blaze, Blizzard, Bloom, Blossom, Blue, Bluebell, Blueberry, Bone, Borage, Boulder, Bounce, Bracken, Bramble, Brave, Breeze, Briar, Bright, Brindle, Bristle, Broken, Brook, Brown, Brush, Bubble, Bumble, Burning, Burn, Buzzard, Buzz, Cave, Cedar, Cherry, Chestnut, Chirp, Chive, Cinder, Claw, Clay, Clear, Cliff, Cloud, Cloudy, Clove, Clover, Coal, Cold, Copper, Cotton, Creek, Cricket, Crooked, Crouch, Crow, Cypress, Daisy, Dandelion, Dapple, Dappled, Dark, Dawn, Dead, Deer, Dew, Doe, Dove, Downy, Drift, Drizzle, Duck, Dune, Dusk, Dust, Dusty, Eagle, Ebony, Echo, Eel, Elder, Elm, Ember, Elk, Falcon, Fallen, Falling, Fallow, Fawn, Feather, Fennel, Fern, Ferret, Finch, Fire, Fish, Flame, Flare, Flash, Fleet, Flint, Flood, Flower, Flurry, Fog, Forest, Fox, Freckle, Frog, Frost, Frozen, Gentle, Ginger, Golden, Goose, Gorge, Gorse, Grass, Green, Grey, Grizzled, Grouse, Gull, Gust, Hail, Half, Hare, Haven, Hawk, Hay, Hazel, Heather, Heavy, Hemlock, Heron, Hickory, Hill, Hive, Hollow, Holly, Honey, Hop, Hornet, Hound, Hush, Ice, Icy, Iris, Ivy, Jagged, Jay, Jump, Juniper, Kestrel, Kindle, Kink, Lake, Larch, Lark, Laurel, Lavender, Leaf, Leopard, Lichen, Light, Lightning, Lilac, Lily, Lion, Little, Lizard, Long, Lost, Loud, Lynx, Mallow, Maple, Marigold, Marsh, Meadow, Minnow, Mint, Missing, Mist, Mistle, Misty, Mole, Morning, Moss, Mossy, Moth, Mottle, Mottled, Mountain, Mouse, Mud, Muddy, Mumble, Myrtle, Needle, Nettle, Newt, Night, Nut, Oak, Oat, Ocean, Odd, Olive, One, Orchid, Osprey, Otter, Owl, Pale, Parsley, Patch, Peach, Pear, Pearl, Pebble, Perch, Petal, Pheasant, Pigeon, Pike, Pine, Pink, Plum, Pond, Pool, Poppy, Pounce, Prickle, Puddle, Quail, Quick, Quiet, Rabbit, Ragged, Raccoon, Rain, Rat, Raven, Red, Reed, Ripple, Rising, River, Robin, Rock, Root, Rose, Rowan, Rubble, Running, Rush, Russet, Rust, Rusty, Rye, Sage, Sand, Sandy, Sap, Scorch, Scratch, Sea, Sedge, Seed, Shade, Shadow, Sharp, Sheep, Shell, Shining, Shore, Short, Shred, Shrew, Shrub, Shy, Silent, Silk, Silver, Skip, Skunk, Sky, Slate, Sleet, Slush, Small, Smoke, Smudge, Snag, Snail, Snake, Snow, Soft, Song, Soot, Sorrel, Spark, Sparrow, Speckled, Speckle, Spider, Splash, Splinter, Spotted, Spring, Spruce, Squirrel, Stag, Starling, Stoat, Stone, Stork, Storm, Stream, Striped, Stumpy, Sun, Sunny, Swallow, Swan, Sweet, Swift, Tabby, Tall, Talon, Tangle, Tansy, Tawny, Thistle, Thorn, Thrush, Thunder, Thyme, Tiger, Timber, Tiny, Toad, Torrent, Torn, Tortoise, Trout, Tulip, Tumble, Turtle, Twig, Twilight, Valley, Velvet, Vine, Violet, Viper, Vole, Vulture, Wasp, Water, Wave, Weasel, Web, Weed, White, Wild, Willow, Wind, Wolf, Wren, Yarrow, Yellow, Yew

suffixes: adder, ant, apple, ash, aspen, babble, bark, beam, bee, belly, berry, bite, bird, blaze, bloom, blossom, blotch, bounce, bramble, briar, branch, breeze, briar, bright, brook, bud, burn, burr, bush, call, chaser, catcher, cherry, chive, cinder, claw, cloud, clover, cough, crawl, creek, crest, crow, cry, curl, current, daisy, dance, dapple, dawn, drop, dove, dusk, dust, ear, echo, eye, eyes, face, fall, fallow, fang, feather, fern, field, fire, flake, flame, flare, flash, flight, flood, flower, flurry, fox, foot, freckle, frond, frost, fur, gaze, gleam, grass, grove, gorse, hail, hare, hawk, haze, heart, heather, holly, hop, hush, ice, iris, ivy, jay, jaw, jump, leaf, kelp, kestrel, lake, larch, lark, lavender, leaf, leap, leg, lichen, light, lilac, lily, lion, lizard, lotus, mallow, marsh, mask, meadow, mint, mist, moss, moth, mouse, murmur, needle, nettle, nose, nut, oak, oat, olive, patch, path, pelt, perch, petal, pigeon, pool, pond, poppy, pounce, puddle, quail, quill, rain, rat, raven, rapid, reed, ridge, ripple, rise, river, root, rose, rubble, runner, rush, sage, sand, scar, screech, sedge, seed, shade, shadow, shell, shine, sight, skip, sky, slate, slip, smoke, snow, song, soot, sparrow, spark, speck, speckle, splash, spot, spots, spring, stalk, step, stem, sting, stone, storm, stream, streak, stride, strike, stripe, stone, sun, swipe, swoop, tail, talon, thicket, thistle, thorn, throat, thunder, trail, tooth, tuft, tumble, vine, vole, water, watcher, weed, whisker, willow, wind, wing, wish, whisper

[classycadaver]

Warrior Cats but when a leader loses a life, they spend the period between death and revival in the paws of the cat who gave them their next life. 

It’s no mundane experience either. They must endure the most impactful event in that cat’s life; the moment that led the cat to choose what the life they gave would stand for. 

Firestar watched from the eyes of Redtail as Tigerclaw pinned him to the ground and tore out his throat.

Mistystar stood up and defended Stormpaw and Featherpaw, surprised to hear Stonefur’s voice instead of her own when she spoke out.

Bramblestar laid dying from his wounds, barely able to hear Goldenflower begging Lionheart to stay awake. The only thing he could think of is how proud he was for serving for his Clan. 

The point is to remind the leader of what they are being revived for. They continue living so that they can protect and guide their clanmates to greater outcomes, having learned from the experiences of the cats who gave them their extra lives. 

[classycadaver]

I can’t wait for a villain whose motivation isn’t just revenge or power.

- Where’s the cat who believes they received a prophecy that the Clans are a danger to themselves, and should dissolve for their own good?

- Where’s the cat who thinks a leader is terrible and needs to step down, or else everyone else will suffer?

- What about the Dark Forest cat who was wrongfully sent there and is just desperate to get out, no matter the method?

- Or the cat who was a simple loner until she mated with a warrior, then had her kits taken to be raised by the Clans? She wants them back.

That isn’t to say that revenge and power aren’t good motivations (Sol was actually interesting and Darktail was legit intimidating), or that we haven’t seen more interesting antagonists (hello, Mapleshade). 

I’d just like to see more variations in the villains. 

[classycadaver]

I’m just loving the idea that there are likely so many different cat communities in the Warriors universe. We’ve seen the Tribe, the Guardian cats, and the Sisters, but I need more. 

Cats who value knowledge, sending their apprentices on soul-searching journeys before they can be considered full-fledged members of their group. The apprentice is to put the skills they’ve learned to use and only return once they’ve discovered some new piece of knowledge that could be useful to their community.

What about a matriarchy? They value motherhood and healing, and their elected leaders love the group as if they’re her own kits. Males aren’t oppressed, though there is a sense of higher responsibility on females. Think of it like a pride of lions.

Let’s say some cats live in a large abandoned house. They’ve learned to use Twolegs and their inventions for their own purposes, and they see no issue with being partially reliant on humans. It’s not weakness; it’s intelligence. Their adaptability means they can survive like normal feral cats just fine.

Or a common favorite: cats who live by the seashore. They can swim even better than RiverClan cats, able to fight against the waves and pulls of the ocean. They work together to catch large seagulls, and have even learned to bait the birds with stolen Twoleg food. And they absolutely know which fishermen are friendly and which ones aren’t.

How about cats who’ve made their home in an old warren, expanding it into deep caverns and wide tunnels? They hunt above ground, but are also perfectly comfortable running after rabbits underground. Kits are always surprised by the bright sun when they first leave the nursery.

Then there are cats who live as a family unit, continuously expanding. The leaders are the oldest mates, surrounded by their kits, grandkits, in-laws, nephews, and nieces. 

And of course there are cats from Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. Enough said there.

[classycadaver]

A side blog for my main classycorpse. I'm posting any future art + writing here just cause I like making things difficult for myself. Anyways- heres a oneshot esc thing I wrote for a Post-Apocalypse esc au based around Fallout and Metro Exodus. I dont think I'll ever finish it but I was fairly proud of how the first chapter came out so I'm sharing it.

The original title for this work was "Pieces of The People We Love " and was going to follow the main plot of the founding of L'manburg up until it went boom, but through a Post Apocalyptic lense.

Reblogging is much appreciated and encouraged!

•○●○•

" Watch out for that branch. " 

    

" What bra- OH FUCK!" 

    

    Wilbur snorts at the explosive cursing behind him, smirking as he stops and turns toward Tommy. The young teen was hunched over, rubbing at his face all the while letting out a litany of curses. 

    

    " Your just a grade a fuckin' comedian, aren't ya Wilbur? '' Tommy spats venomously, glaring up at his brother. Wilbur chuckles, a genuine smile splitting across his face as he rolls his eyes. " Do you think it's funny? Trying to blind your poor, helpless, younger brother in such dire times?" Tommy adds. Wilbur notes the red line that streaks across Tommy's nose and cheek, presumably where the branch had struck him; Wilbur shakes his head as his younger brother continues to air his grievances, rolling his eyes at Tommy's overreaction. 

    

    " Well, I did warn you. Not my fault you can't follow simple commands. '' Wilbur humms back in a matter-of-factly tone. " And good job with the big words Tommy, I didn't know your vocabulary had expanded so much. Techno would be proud. " 

    

    Wilbur is already turning around, walking further along the path the two were currently traversing. Tommy fumbles with himself, trying to think of a response as he hurries after Wilbur. Tommy has to lengthen his gate to match Wilburs pace, almost fast walking to keep up with the taller man. 

    

    " I- well-.... whatever, you're a jerk, I don't have to explain myself to you. " Tommy hisses, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.  " Plus- dire isn't a big word. Anyone can say dire, bitch. " The blonde added hotly. 

     " Whatever you say, Tommy. " Wilbur chuckles, waving off his younger brother. Tommy gapes at him, taken aback at being dismissed so swiftly.  

    " Did you just wake up on the ' let's bully Tommy today' side of the bed this morning? Cause you're being a pretty big dick, Wil, not gonna lie. " Tommy grumbles, glaring holes into the back of Wilbur's head. Wil simply shrugs, letting out an exasperated noise that indicated he was clueless towards Tommy's accusations. " I have no idea what youre talking about,Toms. " Wilbur hums. " Someones just extra sensitive today it seems. " 

     Wilbur cackles when Tommy punches him in the side, a string of angry curses leaving the teens mouth. The punch had no real anger or malice behind it, but the younger boy's bony knuckles dug into Wilburs side almost painfully, leaving a sting where Tommy's fist had struck Wil's side. The taller of the two let's out a huff, a shaky, wheezing, laughter following it. 

    " This is older sibling abuse-!" Wilbur laughs. The darker haired man dodges another swing aimed toward his arm, he catches Tommy's fist in the air. Wilbur is quick to spin the agitated teenager away from him, snorting humorously as Tommy almost loses his footing. Tommy desperately tries to catch his balance less he falls head over heels into the dirt road. 

     " Fockin- What the hell do you call that, then?" Tommy yells back at Wilbur, gesturing to the open space around them. " 'Older Sibling abuse' my ass!" The blonde growls, throwing his hands in the air. Tommy stands his ground, arms crossed over his chest as he stares Wilbur down with narrowed eyes. 

    " I demand an apology. " Tommy practically growls in a haughty tone. 

    " A- you can't be serious?" Wilbur stops in his tracks, looking at Tommy with a exspression that screams 'your bullshiting me, right?'. " You started it!" Wilbur accuses, letting out an airy laugh of disbelief.  " You want me to apologize for defending myself against such a brutal attack?" 

     Tommy's gaze seemingly hardens at Wilbur's words. His brow furrows and his mouth sets into a deep frown. Wilbur finds the look downright adorable. It sparks a small nostalgic memory for wilbur, reminding him of the earlier days with his brother- when Tommy used to pout whenever things didn't go his way. Although it seems like not much has changed over the years. 

Wilbur lets out a long, drawn out sigh; a hand flies to his face, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he shakes his head. " Fine. " Wilbur knew that Tommy wouldn't let something as simple as this go so fast, it was best to just apologize and get it over with. Internally, Wilbur cheers himself on by being such a good older sibling. 

    " Tommy I'm sorry-" Tommy looks at Wilbur triumphantly, a smirk already replacing his frown. Wilbur suddenly narrows his eyes behind his glasses, " I'm sorry for defending myself against a rather vicious attack. " He finishes. Wilbur mirrors Tommy's fading smirk as he turns away, suddenly dismissing the teen with a simple wave of his hand. Still a totally honorable older sibling thing to do. 

     " Asshole!"

     Wilbur snickers, shoving his hands into his pockets as he hears Tommy's encroaching footsteps. 

     " You think you're so-" 

     " About a mile up this road and We'll reach Essmpy." Wilbur interjects into Tommy's sentence, smiling softly as he watches his brother give him a death glare. There's a few beats of silence that pass between them, only the ambiance of nature filling in the gaps. The quietness seems to calm Tommy down considerably; the teen walking behind Wilbur in uncharacteristic silence. Wlibur cast a glance over his shoulder, observing Tommy with a mild sense of worry. Wil opens and closes his mouth, unable to find the words he's looking for. Eventually Wilbur lets it go, content with the silence. 

   But the quietness doesn't last long before Tommy begins to talk. " I'm not letting that go, by the way-you shit head. I'm holding that against you, until you actually apologize." The blonde declares, looking pointedly at Wilbur before looking away. Wilbur simply shrugs, deciding that there were worse fates than a brother's faux hatred. 

    A pregnant pause follows Tommys sentence, although Wilbur can tell the boy was attempting to put together another string of words. Wilbur walks patiently alongside Tommy, slowing his pace considerably." Do you think Techno will be there? Or.. or Phil?" Wilbur seems to be caught off guard by Tommy's question. The taller man's gate stutters as he tries to formulate a response. " Maybe? I don't know. '' Wilbur chokes out, furrowing his brow. " I mean-.. Techno was all the way up near Glay'seir. Doing college stuff and what not. So he's probably still up there, yea? I heard they were pretty well fortified, so Techs… okay, most likely. '' Wil blurts out, looking at the road ahead of them. His brown gaze flits over to Tommy, who had fallen back into a concerning quietness.

    The blonde simply nodded his head, looking down at the beaten dirt path below his boots, subconsciously wringing his gloved hands. He quickly pushes down his anxieties, shoving his hands to his sides as he thinks of something funny- anything to get rid of the melancholy mood.

    Tommy grunts when he smacks into Wilburs back, huffing agitatedly as he stumbles back a few feet, an insult already on the tip of his tongue. Before he can say a word, Wilbur whirls around, grabbing Tommy's hand as he starts to run the way they had just come. 

     Tommy barely has time to collect himself before he gets jerked backwards by the force of Wilburs hold on his hand. He nearly trips over his own feet in an attempt to keep up with Wilbur, the anxiety and fear building up in his chest making it even harder to focus on where he's running. 

     In another quick motion, they stop. Wilbur ducks past one of the shrubs lining the road, tugging Tommy in after him. Before he knows it, they're both sitting behind a tree, covered by the foliage surrounding them. Tommy scowls at the uncomfortable feeling of roots, sticks, and leaves beneath him; but he does not express his disdain for the area Wilbur chose to hide them in. 

     " What was it?" Tommy whispers, trying to peer past the tree trunk to get a glimpse of whatever Wil had seen. Tommy is immediately pulled back, a hand planted over his mouth as Wilbur shushed him. The blonde glares at Wilbur, scowling as he pushes Wils hand away from his face, grumbling angrily at his brother. 

     They wait in uncomfortable silence. Tommy listens intently for any sign of movement, but only hears the general ambiance of the forest. He lets out an exasperated sigh after what feels like ages of waiting, head thudding against the trunk of the tree before turning to Wilbur. 

     " Come on Wil, there's literally nothing out there-” Tommy's mouth snaps shut, body going completely rigid and eyes practically bulging from their sockets. Fear silences any words from escaping his mouth as he stares at the thing Wilbur had apparently seen earlier. He feels Wilbur tense next to him as the brunette moves into a crouched position, his hand clenching Tommy's  hand almost painfully. Both of their eyes are trained onto the creature just a few trees away from them, its giant grey body could clearly be made out from between the greens and browns of the forest around them.

    The lanky abomination has its flank toward them, its whip thin tail flicking back and forth as its large head hangs heavy between its bony shoulders, presumably sniffing the ground. Tommys breath catches in his throat when the creature's head suddenly snaps up; a high pitched, echoey cry leaves the animal's parted maw. The sound seeps directly into Tommys soul, his hand clenching Wilburs. 

    Wilbur glances back at Tommy taking his sights off of the creature for a moment. Tommy catches Wilburs eyes, fear very prominent in his blue gaze. Wil takes another quick look toward the creature before mouthing the words ‘ back to the road.’ at Tommy. The blonde furrows his brows in confusion. Back to the road? Surely that thing would hear them going through the underbrush? Was Wilbur nuts? 

    Tommys eyes widen when Wilbur shifts in place, yanking his hand from Tommy's. In a swift series of movements, Wilbur's arm is thrown back with a large object in hand- wait when did he get a rock? There's a loud crash as Wil throws the object; The rock tumbles through the foliage, effectively catching the creatures attention. It lets out a rumbling bark, immediately nose diving into the underbrush. Tommy scrambles against the bark of the tree, watching as Wilbur bolts from his spot besides him and quickly disappears past the tree trunk. 

     Tommy scrambles to follow Wilbur, tripping over his feet and the roots of the tree as he goes after Wil. Dread seeps into his stomach when a loud, ear piercing howl erupts from behind him. Tommy has his eyes set onto the back of Wilburs trench coat, focusing on his brother's back as his legs fly a mile a minute beneath him. His heart thunders in his chest, lungs burning as he sucks in quick gasps of air. 

    A crash and screech alerts them both that the Creature had caught on to their scent, the loud pounding of paws on the earth floor was enough to light a fire beneath Tommy's feet. He watches as Wilbur pushes past the barrier of foliage that encases the road they were traveling earlier- a spark of hope ignites in the boy's chest as he closes in on where Wilbur had disappeared. Tommy's mouth opens into a silent cry as he trips over a root or rock, sending his body barreling through the wall of leaves and out onto the road.

    Tommy hits the ground hard, the impact forcefully knocking the wind from his lungs as he tumbles forwards. Tommy lets out a wheeze as he lays helplessly on the road, desperately gasping for air as he claws at the dirt beneath him,  trying to make more distance between him and the creature. 

    A loud caterwaul fills the air, quickly followed  by a near deafening screech. Tommy curls in on himself, covering his head with his arms. The blonde cries out when something solid hits his side as an uncomfortable warmth seeps through his ragged clothes. 

     Tommy peeks open one of his eyes, face morphing into fear as he stares at the battered face of whatever had been chasing them. He screams, desperately scrambling backwards to get away from the thing. It takes him a second to realize that the creature very much wasn't alive at all. The head that had been staring at him was decapitated, head severed just below its jaw from its neck. 

  

     " Damn- that was a close call. " 

     As if the situation could get even more confusing, a voice comes from Tommy's left, spooking the boy significantly. He turns to face whoever had just been talking. Tommy is immediately greeted by a figure looming above him, the sun above perfectly silhouetting the stranger just right so he couldn't make out their face. 

 

     " Wil?" Tommy asks hesitantly.  He quickly realizes that whoever this was- certainly wasn't Wilbur. Tommy immediately gets into a standing position, swaying lightly on his feet from an intense feeling of vertigo- he must have hit his head hard when he fell. 

     The green man takes a step back, holding up his hands in an attempt to appear harmless. The bow and arrow in hand accompanied by the sword on this stranger's hip paints a different story. The incredibly tall height this guy is packing intensities the whole "intimidation" factor- he has to at least be eight feet tall. He was clad in a green camo jumper, a gold chest plate adorns his chest along with golden shoulder pads, his face obscured by what appeared to be a gas mask. 

     " Who- Who the fuck are you?"  Tommy splutters, unsure of what to make of this situation he's found himself in. The stranger lowers his hands, a soft "oh right" escaping him as he tries to find the right words. 

    “ My name is Awesam... But my friends call me Sam. “ 

#dream smp #dream smp au #au #alternate universe #tommy innit #tommy and wilbur #Tommy and Wil are brothers in this au #Techno and Wil are twins #phil is the dad ofc #sleepy bois fanfic #sleepy bois inc #wilbur soot #other characters mentioned #Awesamdude sort of at the end #apocalypse #post apocolypse #fanfic #mild gore warning i guess #language