claricevrs

[claricevrs]

My Thoughts 1: N95 and the Climate

Kendrick Lamar's "N95" was a perfect artistic rendition on my thoughts of the current socio-political climate and here's why.

Kendrick Lamar released his fifth studio album on the 13th of May this year. Apart from being a big fan of his work, I've always appreciated his lyricism even though I wouldn't consider myself a "rap connoisseur" per se.

I could write an entire post about the album as a whole. People certainly have opinions on Kendrick's writing of "Auntie Diaries" that I feel are willfully ignorant - especially from a journalistic point of view. But I digress. The album itself is clearly the representation of the thoughts of someone who has gone through therapy and done the work - which is much more than many people who go to therapy can say.

My Thoughts

"N95" is the title track of the album without a doubt. It's the only one (at the time of my writing this) with a music video, it's the most impactful, etc. It's no surprise it's the song that stood out to me the most (other than "We Cry Together") in the entire album.

Obviously, like in every art form, there are many interpretations to be taken from "N95." To me, it held a hope that people will understand what I've been thinking of and living through the past two years.

I'm not the only one, I'm sure, to feel like the current socio-political climate of the world is unsustainable. Everything and everyone around us, in social media, in movies, in TV shows, in music, has been perpetuating the same idea: I'm part of this group and if you aren't drinking our "Kool-Aid," then you must be a rival.

Personal

For the past few years, I've been trying to challenge my own perception of the world. How should I act? What should I say? How can I adjust my behavior and speech in order to fit in with the most desirable group? Do I even fit in there? These questions plagued me for many more years than I can remember.

I've always tried to fit in with a certain group, trying to find my tribe. However, it wasn't uncommon for me to jump between "bubbles" even when I was trying to box myself in so much. It was only in recent years that I have come to appreciate and accept the "gray" I live in.

In many of the lyrics of "N95" I can see the plea for understanding. Something that a lot of people, although they may preach it, won't practice. How is it understanding to cut people out of your life if they don't agree with a political stance of yours?

I'm sure Tumblr is probably not the best platform for me to be saying these things. People may read this and immediately label me an "enemy" because the words I say may have been spoken by one of their "enemies." It doesn't matter.

To be blunt, I'm not writing this from a left-leaning or right-leaning perspective. That kind of stuff doesn't appeal to me. I'm writing this as a person who has skated on the outskirts of labels my entire life - someone who has never felt they fit in anywhere completely.

Some of the lyrics that called out to me the most:

"Ventin' in the safe house"

I'm no stranger to this. I'm doing it right now. Although my name is on the screen, there is no other indication of who I am as a person other than what I tell the Internet. That's a double-edged sword, isn't it? You may do anything for the aesthetic, but how different is it when you're out there in the real world?

"Where the hypocrites at? What community feel They the only ones relevant?"

I've been there too. I went from the left to what I would call "right-curious" and this is what I saw most commonly-replicated in every bubble I saw. To me, this isn't about one community in specific. It's every one of them that thinks they're the ones with the worst, most dire situation.

Be it the trad-wives who believe their children will be corrupted by a sex-positive society (which, lol, the United States? k) or the trans community criticizing Dave Chapelle's Netflix special and his past jokes.

I'm not saying they're not relevant concerns - all of them. But it is hypocritical of a group to look down on another group's suffering and expect others to not do the same to your group. Your expectations come from your values, and if you don't uphold your values to everyone, not only the people you like, then how strong is your moral code, really?

"What's your life like? Bullshit and gossip."

I am also a big appreciator of bullshit and gossip. I love watching reality TV as much as the other guy. But when we act like the characters on those shows do, then it starts getting a little complicated, doesn't it?

It's unhealthy and unrealistic to expect people from outside of your knowledge to act like they:

a) Know everything you know; b) Agree with everything you agree; c) Act like you would act.

Conclusion

There is so much about this album and Kendrick that I love. Like I said, I could write so many posts about therapy, relationships, the state of the world, toxicity, understanding, etc. But as I've told people I recommended this album to, if there's one song you have to listen to, it's "N95."

#kendrick lamar #n95 #review #my thoughts #Spotify