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chiyalawritesrewind · 7 years

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Rewind, Chapter 22

Fanfic: [ch1] [ch2] [ch3] [ch4] [ch5] [ch6] [ch7] [ch8] [ch9] [ch10] [ch11] [ch12] [ch13] [ch14] [ch15] [ch16] [ch17] [ch18] [ch19] [ch20] [ch21] [ch22 on AO3] [ch22 on ffn]

Podfic: [ch1] [ch2] [ch3] [ch4] [ch5] [ch6] [ch7] [ch8] [ch9]

Pairing: Gratsu - Gray Fullbuster / Natsu Dragneel ; Acnologia / Zeref

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Major Character Death; Graphic Depiction of Violence

Summary: When a mission turns out to be fatal for one of the team members, Natsu finds himself being given another chance to change the events.

Beta by @serpenttailedangel and @wildrhov <333

Tagging list: @f-r-f-t @truedreamchasing @eitomagical @xxkitty-rosexx @eternalsterekbitches @becausewhenyoupracticeyouimprove @oliversantics @nekodemon73 @moonlustelara @pantykawa @lucky-bugaboo (if somebody else wants to be tagged or not tagged anymore in the future, please let me know!)

A/N: Sorry I'm late *nervous chuckle* ... Hey, at least it's a long update. Chapter warning: Threesome (m/m/m) - Jellal/Gray/Natsu. If you are not comfortable with this: As soon as you read something you don't like (don't worry, the story's leading to it slowly), please ctrl+f to "Everyone in the guild hall" and start reading there. You won't miss anything important to the plot. Apart from that, the usual warnings apply: tissue warning, depressing thoughts and so on and so forth. If you've managed to get this far, there shouldn't be a problem.

Have fun!

Day 12

Natsu shot up straight in his bed. His head felt blissfully light, at least in the first few seconds before reality kicked back in and sent his thoughts spinning.

'I have to abandon Gray and everyone else who's dear to me. I have to lie to them or at least withhold a part of the truth. I will turn Gray into a demon under Zeref's instructions.'

A wave of nausea overcame Natsu.

'He loves me. He trusts me. I'm going to betray his trust. We won't ever be able to see each other again or he'll die.'

All the scenes of Gray dying replayed in his mind, especially the one where Natsu had pushed him into his own blades. The nausea intensified, and Natsu barely made it to the toilet before puking.

As Natsu's limbs didn't stop shaking, his morning routine took him longer than usual. He made plans for the day while the hot water ran down his body, washing his sweaty stench away.

The previous day should've shown Jellal and Ultear that Natsu wasn't going to commit suicide again, so the last thing he expected was Gray bursting into his house. He obviously miscalculated, since Natsu heard a loud bang from the entrance door when he was in the middle of rinsing his hair.

The bathroom door flew open a few seconds later. Natsu could see that Gray was out of breath, but couldn't make out his expression since the translucent plastic partition skewed the view.

"Are you all right? Jellal said you might be in danger and I need to hurry." His tone was worried.

In danger? The previous time, Gray stated outright that he believed Natsu was suicidal. Had Jellal told him a different story this time?

Trying to keep voice free of anxiety, Natsu said, "I'm fine, and I'm in the middle of showering. Could you wait in my bedroom until I'm done?"

Gray took a step toward the shower. The view was still too distorted to make out his expression. "You sure everything's fine? Jellal looked seriously troubled. What business does he have with you anyway?"

Natsu barely held back a groan. There was no way he could leave the guild like this, with Gray, Lucy, and probably soon also the others knowing about his dilemma. First he'd have to destroy all the evidence of this loop ever happening, and that included asking Ultear and Jellal to keep quiet about it. As for this repeat, he'd probably have to explain everything all over again, at least to Gray, now that he already knew that something was going on.

"Yes, I'm sure, and I'll explain later. Please leave."

There was a short pause. Natsu could see Gray reaching out for the shower and retracting his hand not a second later. "Okay... I'm right here if you need me, so please call for me if something's wrong."

"Okay."

Gray went back into the bedroom and closed the door.

Natsu wanted to turn the water back on, but he missed the tap by several centimeters. His hands were trembling like a leaf. How had he not noticed a tremor this strong while Gray had been in the bathroom? He felt choked. His legs started to tremble as well, to the point where he could no longer stay upright. He sank to the bottom of the shower tub, staring apathetically at his trembling hands.

'Today is probably the second last day I can spend here. I'll never see Gray again after that. I'll never see my friends again. I'll lose them all. And not only that—I'll be forced to live a life in solitude if I don't want to hurt anyone. A life like Zeref leads it. Far away from anyone I love. Am I really ready for that?'

What a stupid question. He'd never be ready, but he had to do it anyway. It would break the hearts of not only him and Gray, but his friends as well, but at least it meant that Gray could live on. A lost life was permanent, while broken hearts could heal eventually.

Would Natsu ever be able to get over the loss of Gray in his life?

The lump in Natsu's throat grew even bigger. He didn't even want to imagine the possibility that he would one day not be in love with Gray anymore. The thought alone pained him. Would Gray one day stop loving him?

'Cut the crap! Stop imagining what could be. Focus. Breathe.'

He took some deep and deliberately slow breaths. Dizziness overcame him, but when his breath finally evened out, he could see clearly again. He finished his shower without further complications. There was not a single item of clothing in his bathroom, so a towel would have to do.

He was about to open the door, but then paused when he noticed that his teeth were still dirty. If nobody remembered this day, there was no way he'd refrain from kissing Gray, so he went back to the sink and brushed his teeth.

As soon as Natsu opened the door, Gray gasped and jumped up from the bed. He was right in front of Natsu a second later, his brows furrowed in sorrow. His lips were red and glistened as if he'd bitten them until a moment ago.

Without thinking, Natsu took a step forward, wrapped his arms around Gray's torso, and sealed their lips together. Gray didn't show any reaction whatsoever in the first moment, but then he let out a surprised gasp and pulled back, surprise written all over his face.

"Shhh. Just close your eyes and enjoy."

Natsu couldn't wait even one second longer, so he put a hand on Gray's neck and pulled him in again. Natsu's eyelids fluttered shut the moment their lips met. This time Gray didn't break the kiss, but he took his sweet time realizing what they were doing until he finally reciprocated.

Natsu pushed Gray backward without breaking the contact until the back of Gray's knees bumped against the bed. When Natsu gently laid him back onto the mattress, their lips parted. Gray's face was flushed, and his heart beat wildly. He looked as if he was about to ask what this was about, but Natsu wasn't in the mood for talking. This was the last chance he'd ever get at this, so he was going to make it memorable—if only for himself.

He climbed onto Gray's lap, and before Gray could utter a word, their lips were pressed against each other's again. Natsu lowered his upper body onto Gray, adding more pressure to the kiss. It was chaste in the beginning, but when Gray relaxed into the touch, Natsu licked over Gray's lips, requesting to be let in. Natsu was unsure what Gray liked ever since he'd confessed that he disliked saliva. He tried his very best not to drool too much, but it proved to be difficult.

Not wanting to gross Gray out, Natsu removed his lips with a wet plop and hastily wiped the saliva from both their lips.

He couldn't help staring at Gray—the sight of his face was just too precious. Flushed, disheveled, and totally out of it, judging by his distant stare. The understanding that they weren't kissing anymore seemed to seep in slowly, as Gray's eyes widened only a few seconds later. He blushed and averted his gaze abruptly. A soft laugh escaped Natsu's lips.

"No need to be shy. You're a good kisser."

Gray choked on his saliva. He hastily swallowed, his eyes still not meeting Natsu's. "Thanks, but... what is this about? No need to do something like this to show me that you're fine."

Natsu cupped Gray's chin and tilted his head back up, prompting Gray to meet his gaze. "I love you. I've been dying to do this for a long time."

Gray's eyes widened. "Wh-what? B-but you love—"

"Lucy? No, I don't. It's always been you. You were just too blind to notice. Just as I was too blind to notice that you love me, too."

Gray gasped. "How do you—"

Natsu leaned down, cutting off Gray's speech with another kiss. He didn't want to talk now. All he wanted was to enjoy his possibly last chance before all would end and—

'Stop thinking about that! I'm here with him now, it's fine now, don't think about the future. This right now is what counts. Gray is close to me, kissing me, hugging me. I love him, he loves me. Everything's perfect right now.'

Natsu managed to shut down his negative thoughts by focusing on his senses. Gray's supple lips on his. Gray's warm hands on his back. Gray's unique scent. All these perceptions caused an intensely good feeling in Natsu's gut, and his cock stirred.

Natsu was about to sit back up, but Gray didn't let him. He tightened his grip and pulled him back down, sealing their lips in a passionate kiss once again. When Natsu tried to at least bring a little distance between their hips, Gray's hands wandered lower. He groped Natsu's ass while thrusting his hips upward, rubbing their crotches against each other's.

Natsu groaned into the kiss. Gray wasn't all that soft anymore, either. At this rate, Natsu knew that he would get carried away if they didn't stop soon. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but did he have enough time? Spending a few hours with Gray surely wouldn't endanger his plans, right? A quick glance to his watch showed him that he had about five hours before he'd meet with Zeref. That much time should suffice, even if he let himself be carried away. After all, the only things he had to take care of in the morning were talking to Ultear and removing all evidence of the time loop.

When he thought about the imminent farewell, fear crept up Natsu's spine, threatening to get the best of him. However, Gray's hand came up to caress his hair, snapping him out of it. All the thoughts about the future faded as Gray massaged his scalp, sensually running his fingers through Natsu's hair.

The kisses they shared were sometimes gentle, sometimes demanding and passionate, and left both of them hard and panting heavily. Gray thankfully didn't try to ask questions anymore. All the sounds that left him were moans and hums. His hands roved all over Natsu's body, exploring and groping.

When he could barely hold back anymore, Natsu lifted his body to break the contact. The sight of Gray's glassy eyes and his flushed cheeks only increased the desire, but there was something he needed to do before.

"Gray, do you... uh, want to—" He gulped. "—f-fuck me?"

Natsu could feel Gray's dick twitching in his pants, making it harder still not to start dry-humping Gray. It was obvious that Gray, too, was trying very hard to hold back, with his tense jaw and his glassy eyes trying to focus on Natsu.

"I don't know what brought all of this on, but after all we've just done, I gotta believe you when you say you love me. I'd be lying if I said I don't want to have sex. Are you sure you want it though?"

Natsu nodded. "I'm sure. I want you."

Gray's eyes lit up, his lips pulling into a grin. "Okay. If you're really sure, then I'd love to fuck you."

Natsu felt heat creeping into his cheeks. "All right. Gimme a moment."

He got up from the bed, the towel falling off with the movement, but Natsu didn't care. He quite enjoyed Gray gaping at his stiff cock as if he'd never seen another guy's hard dick before—and for all Natsu knew, that might well be so.

When he walked over to the bathroom, Gray asked what he was doing. Natsu only looked over his shoulder and vaguely answered that he had to prepare himself. Gray protested, saying that he could take care of the preparations. Natsu rolled his eyes and decided to be bold.

"I wasn't exactly prepared for this, so I'm still dirty."

Gray gasped and stuttered something that sounded like an apology. Natsu couldn't help a smile as he entered the bathroom.

He was going to do this properly. That meant doing all the stuff he'd wanted to do with Gray, especially what they'd already talked about. Blindfolding and handcuffs.

It was convenient that Natsu already owned handcuffs. He'd bought two pairs about two years ago, one of them plain ones and the other one with black plush, not knowing what Gray would prefer. It happened on the evening of a day on which Gray had been exceptionally nice to him and even initiated more body contact than usual, making Natsu hope that there was a chance of his feelings being reciprocated. Natsu had let himself be carried away by his fantasy which—of course—ended up with them in bed and Gray asking to be handcuffed. Back then he'd cursed himself for his stupidity right on the next day when Gray treated him coldly, shattering his hopes once again. As soon as Natsu came home on that day, he tossed the still unopened boxes into the farthest corner of his dresser, covering it with clothes he rarely wore. He still remembered that he'd cried for hours that evening.

Just remembering it made his eyes prickle. However, it was different now. Natsu knew of Gray's feelings. He knew that Gray's fickle behavior had only been caused by him coming to terms with his feelings for Natsu.

'That's right. Gray loves me. He's waiting for me right now, horny and probably ready to make good use of those handcuffs. Oh, all the things we could do...'

Natsu's cock gave an interested twitch, so he hurried up and got the cleaning over with as quickly as he possibly could.

When Natsu emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, he found Gray sitting on his bed—naked and hard, his hand wrapped around the base of his dick, and a bead of pre-cum shining on his tip. He looked embarrassed and agitated, not meeting Natsu's eye when he got closer to the bed. His breath wasn't even and his pulse rather quick.

'He already started, huh.'

Natsu lay down on his side, right next to Gray, tracing his fingers over Gray's chest. He leaned in and nibbled at Gray's earlobe. "Impatient, are we?"

"Sorry. I just... uh, wanted to keep it hard."

"Mind showing me how you kept it hard?"

Gray bit his lower lip. "That's embarrassing." A shudder ran through Gray's body.

"Come on, I bet you love to be watched. How about I touch myself, too? You could watch me while I watch you."

Without giving him time to answer, Natsu straddled Gray's legs. Their cocks didn't touch, but Natsu would have to slide up only a bit until they would. Maybe he'd stroke both together later, but for now, he wanted to see Gray masturbate.

Natsu knew from experience that it didn't take much for Gray to get over his initial shame. Maybe seeing Natsu stroking himself would help, so Natsu did just that.

Gray lifted his head and stared in awe as Natsu worked himself slowly.

"C'mon, touch yourself, too."

Gray seemed to be unable to say or do anything. His gaze flickered between Natsu's face and his cock, a needy whimper escaping him.

Suddenly a movement in the corner of Natsu's eyes caught his attention. He turned his head sideways, stopping his stroking. Outside of the window, Jellal had apparently just jumped onto a branch of the nearest tree to check on Gray.

When their eyes met, Jellal rolled his eyes and said in an annoyed tone, "Horny teenagers," probably unaware that Natsu could hear him through the glass.

Natsu had an idea. He was convinced that Gray would like it, so he didn't hesitate. Just when Jellal was about to jump down again, Natsu shook his head. Jellal paused with a frown. Natsu gestured that he wanted him to stay where he was and watch.

"Why?" Jellal muttered to himself.

All Natsu wanted was for this to be as fulfilling as possible, and with both their preferences of being watched, this was the perfect opportunity. Would Jellal agree if this was the only reason or would he need a pretense?

Gray interjected, "What are you doing there? Why is Jellal here? Did he follow me?"

Natsu flashed him a smile that was intended to be innocent, but probably came out as pervy.

Jellal looked at them expectantly. For want of another idea, Natsu pressed his palms together and held them up in a pleading gesture in Jellal's direction, bowing his head slightly.

A sigh escaped Jellal's lips. "What have I done to deserve this?"

Natsu shrugged.

Jellal cocked his head. "Wait... can you hear me?"

Natsu gave a small nod.

"Oh, good. Is this for your private pleasure—" Natsu nodded. "—or is there an actual reason why you want me to watch?" Natsu shook his head.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Gray wanted to know, but Natsu ignored him for now.

Jellal glowered at him. "No, thanks."

Natsu lifted his hands a bit higher and bowed his head a bit deeper.

Jellal snorted. "Is there any negative consequence if I refuse?"

Natsu thought about it for a second. Was there?

Before he could react, Jellal asked another question. "Will I forget this?"

This time, Natsu didn't hesitate to nod.

"Oh my god. Fine. 'Do everything he wants,' huh? I swear, Ultear owes me big after this." He took a seat on his branch with his feet dangling in the air and his side leaned against the stem.

With a triumphant grin, Natsu turned his attention back to Gray. "He'll stay there and watch us."

"What? Why?"

"Because this turns you on, right? It's the same for me, so why not?"

Gray's physical reaction and scent proved that he liked the current situation very much, never mind his reply that he felt exposed.

"That's kinda the point, to feel exposed. We are exposed after all, but I like it. Being watched makes everything more exciting, don't you think?"

"W-well... yeah. But... did you plan this? Is Jellal hand in glove with you?"

Did it appear like that? Natsu had to admit, the situation must've looked very suspicious from Gray's point of view: Jellal lured him to Natsu's house, then Natsu seduced him, and now Jellal was sitting outside the window and watching them masturbate. It was probably okay to make Gray believe his assumption was right—for now. Natsu was too horny for explanations.

"Maybe."

Gray's eyes widened, the blush on his face growing deeper. "Y-you two... you're—" He bit his lip. A shadow passed Gray's face, but he caught himself quickly. Then he shook his head, looking Natsu right in the eye. "I never thought you were such a huge pervert."

He'd probably come to a conclusion that was totally wrong, but damn, Natsu needed it so badly right now that he didn't even care. He could explain everything later.

"Look who's talking. Now come on, we don't want to make him wait any longer, eh?"

With that, Natsu resumed stroking himself, slowly at first. He looked at Jellal again, checking if he made good on his promise. Jellal was indeed watching, although he put a hand over his eyes in shame when Natsu licked his lips.

"Hey. Flirt with me, Casanova."

Natsu focused his gaze on Gray again. "Touch your cock."

Gray rolled his eyes. "Woah, slow down. How should I handle all these feelings?"

"Should I do it for you?"

"Wha—"

Natsu took Gray's wrist, placed his hand around the neglected cock, and then guided his hand up and down. Gray threw his head back and moaned.

"Mhhh that's it, let me hear your voice."

Natsu guided Gray's hand a few more strokes, but Gray eventually gave in and did the stroking himself.

Like this, they pumped themselves, holding each other's heated gaze all the while. It was like the knowledge that this was going to be their last time erased all of Natsu's inhibitions and amplified his pleasure.

"Gray... you're so sexy. I c-can't wait to have that hard cock of yours in my mouth."

"Ahh, fuck! That's a dirty tongue y-you have there. Shit!"

Gray's movement stopped abruptly and he closed his eyes, trying to breathe slowly.

Natsu slid up on Gray's legs until their cocks and balls touched. Gray moaned at the contact. Without giving him time to adjust, Natsu took them both into his hand and continued stroking.

Gray squirmed and sucked in a sharp breath. He apparently wanted to evade Natsu's grip, but in his position, he couldn't do anything. The squirming only increased the friction.

"S-stop, ahhh, stop! N-Natsu, if you d-don't stop, I'll c-come."

It was no use; Natsu was too far gone to think that it was too early to come. They could just go another round after this. Instead of stopping, he sped up. All that left Natsu's mouth were broken moans and fragments of Gray's name.

He closed his eyes and threw his head back as he felt his own orgasm building. However, before it could go any further than that, a hand around his wrist forced him to pause.

Natsu wanted to complain, wanted to make Gray let go, but when his eyes met Gray's, nothing came out. Judging by Gray's clouded gaze, he was already much closer than Natsu and his willpower was the only thing preventing him from coming.

"I d-don't want to come like this. Y-you said something about... my cock in your mouth. I want to try that."

Natsu looked down between the two of them. Both of their tips were glistening with pre-cum, their cocks rock-hard.

"But I'm ready to burst."

Gray smiled that cocky smile of his. "That's exactly why you shouldn't. Seeing you like this turns me on."

Well, shit. There was no way Natsu could ever deny Gray something like this. Why hadn't Gray said so any of the other times? Did Natsu being blunt rub off on Gray? Either way, Natsu was determined to fulfill Gray's wish, even if that meant being on edge for a while longer.

He loosened his grip and got on all fours. He crawled down until his face was level with Gray's crotch, and then leaned down. Gray's cock bounced happily upward as Natsu's head dived in to lick a stripe from base to tip.

Natsu repeated the same thing twice before he lifted one hand off the mattress so that he could hold Gray's dick in place.

When Natsu wrapped his lips around Gray's tip, he heard a hiss—but not only from one person. It wasn't surprising that Gray made such a sound, considering what Natsu was doing to him. However, Jellal producing the same sound was not something Natsu expected, given how annoyed he'd been.

Without releasing Gray's tip, Natsu cocked his head to the side to check on Jellal. He was surprised to find Jellal biting his lip, his face flushed. It looked like he was seriously turned on but trying to hide it.

Natsu didn't take his eyes off Jellal as he took Gray deeper into his mouth, his cheek tenting where Gray's tip pressed against it. Jellal shuddered at the sight. Could it be that the reason why Jellal didn't want to watch them was because he knew he'd enjoy it?

Natsu moved his head up and down slowly, closely watching Jellal's reaction. No matter how much Jellal tried to mask it, he was clearly aroused. He shifted on his branch, probably thinking that his attempt to adjust his boner was subtle when it was clearly visible through his thin pants. Him shooting angry glares didn't do much to refute Natsu's assumption.

"Do you want to eye-fuck him or give me a blowjob? You suck at doing both at the same time."

Now that Gray mentioned it... Natsu had indeed stopped moving somewhere along the line.

It was hard to concentrate, knowing that Jellal was anything but repulsed by what they did, so Natsu sat up, fixing his gaze on Gray.

"Jellal enjoys this."

Gray narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "You sound surprised. I thought this was your plan right from the start."

Could it be that Gray believed that Jellal and Natsu were a couple? But how could he, when Natsu spent nearly every waking hour at the guild or with his friends?

"Actually... No, it wasn't. This is about you and me, not about him. I just... know that you like being watched, and so do I. That's why I asked him to stay."

Gray's brows furrowed. "How can you say that you know what I like when I've never told you? You also knew I was in love with you even though I never confessed. I thought you have figured it out somehow, but this? You couldn't possibly guess my kinks, and deducing it from my stripping habit is a bit far-fetched."

If Natsu explained everything now, he'd completely ruin the mood. However, he needed to give Gray something, or else it'd end in Gray rejecting Natsu again.

"We're caught in a time loop, and only I remember what happened. This is the twelfth time I'm reliving the day."

Gray opened his mouth, but Natsu knew what was coming. He beat Gray to it.

"I know you don't believe me; you never do right away. This isn't by far the first time I'm trying to explain this to you. Do you think you could you just... try to believe me for now? I promise I'll explain everything later, but right now I'm not in the mood for talking."

To emphasize his request, Natsu brushed the back of his hand over Gray's cock.

There was silence for a few seconds. Natsu was about to ask whether he should stop touching Gray since he showed no reaction whatsoever, but then Gray nodded, albeit hesitantly.

"All right. It's confusing, but I believe you. Have you ever done... something with Jellal before?"

Heat crept into Natsu's cheeks. "N-no! He saw and heard us doing stuff sometimes, but until now I thought he was disgusted by it. His reaction was always a rather annoyed one. I... I never thought that he likes watching us."

Images flashed through Natsu's mind. Images of Jellal giving Gray head, of Jellal being fucked by Gray while sucking Natsu off.

'Oh, hell no! God, why does this turn me on so much? Gray already said he doesn't want to share me, so this is out of the question.'

Natsu snapped out of his thoughts when Gray's hand wrapped around his dick and stroked it lazily.

"Well, you certainly don't mind the idea of him enjoying it, huh. Do you want to invite him to join us?"

It didn't sound like a mock question, but rather like a sincere one. There was pure lust in Gray's eyes.

"Y-you once said that you don't want anybody else touching me though. That you'd probably rip his head off."

"I did? Right now, seeing Jellal and you, both turned on... I think it'd be hot to invite him, if you promise that you'll stay with me when this is over."

Gray's heated gaze and his eager stroking spoke volumes. He meant it. He wanted to try a threesome.

Natsu could barely hold back a moan. "F-fuck. You sure?"

Gray nodded eagerly, emphasizing his approval with a twist of his wrist that made Natsu shudder with pleasure.

Nothing could hold Natsu back anymore; he was on his feet and at the window in no time, ignoring Gray's frustrated grunt at the loss of dick against his palm.

Jellal flinched when he saw Natsu open the window, but he stayed put. He shifted his thighs a bit, probably in the belief that the new position would hide his arousal. It was a bit more concealed, but the damage was already done. Natsu had already seen it. Though, even if he hadn't, he would've smelled Jellal's arousal by now.

"Yo. It's not very satisfying just sitting around and watching us, right? Wanna have some fun, too?"

If Jellal was taken aback by the invitation, he didn't let on. He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms before his chest.

"Who'd want that? I'm just here because you asked me to. Stop presuming stupid things."

All right. If he wanted to play games, then Natsu could do that.

With the most casual tone he could muster in his current state, Natsu said, " 'That so? Well, can't be helped if you don't want. I'll leave the window open for you. Just in case you change your mind."

'... and so you can hear our moans,' Natsu added in his thoughts.

Without paying attention to Jellal's frustrated sigh, Natsu got back on the bed. He straddled Gray's hips and took his mouth with ferocity. Their cocks rubbed against each other just slightly as their bodies moved to adjust into a comfortable position.

If it wasn't for Natsu's heightened senses, he would've missed the barely audible hiss and the whispered "Bastard" that left Jellal's lips. Natsu couldn't help but smile into the kiss, which prompted Gray to pull back and shoot a questioning look at him.

Natsu leaned in and whispered, "Jellal is trying to act tough, but he's getting riled up. Let's see how much self-control he has."

Gray let out a strangled moan. When Natsu sat back up and saw Gray's clouded stare, he knew that inviting Jellal had been the right choice. He'd never seen such a lustful expression on Gray's face before.

"S-so what did you have in mind?" Gray whispered back.

Natsu's lips pulled into a lewd smile.

"I happen to own handcuffs. What do you think, would you like to use them?"

***

Some minutes later found Natsu blindfolded and restricted, moaning and begging for Gray to fuck him harder. The bastard was moving his hips teasingly slow. No matter how much Natsu dug his heels into Gray's ass, the pace stayed the same. Or was he even getting slower the more Natsu pressed?

"C'mon, I need it. You're a fucking tease!"

Gray rested his weight on Natsu's body, bringing his mouth close to Natsu's ear. He whispered, "You should see Jellal. I bet he's gonna barge in very soon."

A loud moan escaped Natsu's lips, but when he replied, he kept his voice low. "Details please."

"His mouth is wide open, he can't take his eyes off us, his face is red, and his hips are moving up and down slightly. I doubt he's even aware of it. Whenever I look at him, he bites his lip. I wonder what he'll want to do. Do you have any preference?"

Natsu gasped. All the filthy images his mind supplied him... It was too much. There were so many possibilities with three people, and all of them sounded appealing.

"No. If it leads to all of us cumming, I don't care either way. Now fuck me!"

"You'd let him come inside of you or me?"

"Yes, and I'd also like to see you fuck him, give him a blowjob, or the other way 'round, or make you watch while I fuck him or give him a blowjob, or anything, and now do me properly already!"

"How about—" Gray took Natsu's earlobe between his teeth. "—kissing?"

How Gray could still control himself like this was a mystery to Natsu. All he could think of was 'faster, harder, more, now!'

'Just a little more. Your scent and your body tell me that you can't hold back any longer.'

"I did say anything. How about you kissing him with my cum in your or his mouth?"

Gray let out a strangled moan. "Fuck, Natsu! Now you've done it."

Natsu didn't even have time to think, 'finally!' before Gray's hips started to snap back and forth with force, pushing him closer to the headboard with each thrust.

It didn't take long until both were out of breath and covered in a sheen of sweat, moaning and gasping, everything but their pleasure completely forgotten.

Natsu could tell that Gray's orgasm was nearing, with his movements getting erratic and his moans becoming clipped and louder.

"N-Natsu... ahh... gonna... c-co—"

"Oh no, you aren't," Jellal's voice resounded. Suddenly Gray's cock was pulled out and his weight vanished.

"No, put me down, I'm so close, let me—"

"Shut up. You teased me and now it's my turn."

Natsu hadn't even noticed him entering the room, let alone climb onto the bed. The shaking mattress told Natsu that Gray was struggling against Jellal's grip, but he gave up quickly.

"Now, now. You asked for this. I merely accepted your offer, and I have plans with the two of you. If your asshole isn't washed yet, then do it now."

Gray growled, but Natsu could feel his underlying excitement.

"Fine."

Bedsheets rustled and weight was shifted. Gray had probably gotten up.

"If you wanna... you know, get into the mood, then feel free to... do whatever. Um, you know," Gray said from halfway to the bathroom.

"Anything?" Jellal's voice was deep and raspy with lust.

The footsteps halted.

"Yes. But if you dare hurt him, I'll hurt you."

Gray's voice was firm, no hint of doubt or jealousy. Natsu wondered what it was that had changed his mind so drastically in comparison to that time a few days—no, repetitions—back. It didn't really count a change of mind though, as this version of Gray had never seriously considered the option of sharing Natsu before. Could a different approach of the topic make such a big difference?

The bathroom door closed, leaving him and Jellal alone. Being blindfolded and handcuffed was already an unfamiliar feeling, but at least he'd been at Gray's mercy up until then, who he knew and trusted with his life. Not that he didn't trust Jellal—he certainly did or he wouldn't allow this—but it was different. He wasn't used to Jellal's presence, to his scent, his movements. He couldn't anticipate the way he'd behave in the slightest. A shudder ran through him. He was naked and achingly hard in front of a man whom he hadn't thought was even interested in other men until a few minutes ago.

The mattress beside him dipped, and a second later a hand brushed lightly over Natsu's cheek, Jellal's breath tickling his lips.

"I swear, you two will be the end of me. Do you even know how long it's been since I last had sex?"

"Must've been far too long, huh?"

"Over four years since I last slept with a man."

Natsu was about to ask when his last time with a woman had been since this sounded like he'd done both. However, the question died in his throat when Jellal kissed him on the lips, just a whisper of a touch, already gone before Natsu had the chance to kiss back.

The weight shifted.

"Anything that's off-limits?"

Natsu shook his head. Gray had just said that anything was okay, and Natsu was so horny that he wanted just about everything Jellal had in mind. But then again, he didn't know about Jellal's kinks. What if he was into something Natsu didn't like?

"Just... ask before you do something out of the ordinary."

"The ordinary being...?"

"Kissing, touching, groping, licking, fingering, fucking, such things."

Jellal hissed. "All right. Fuck, I'm so horny. Mind skipping the foreplay?"

Natsu's lips pulled into a sly smile. "Well, I already had a foreplay, and my asshole feels really empty right now."

It took Jellal about twenty seconds to strip, lube himself up, and bring himself into position. Natsu noticed his cock was thicker than Gray's as he pushed in, so it took Natsu a little getting used to. Jellal was nowhere near as gentle as Gray was, neither was he particularly trying to aim for Natsu's prostate, but it was fine. It didn't hurt, and in Natsu's state of arousal anything felt good.

Since he had Jellal so close and Gray was out of earshot, Natsu decided to seize the opportunity.

"J-Jellal, there's something—ahhh!—I n-need you to do for me."

"Oh?" He snapped his hips forward with even more force, speaking a word per thrust. "And. What. Would. That. Be?"

"S-stop moving for a bit, will you?"

Jellal complained but stopped anyway. Natsu asked him to tell Ultear to conceal all evidence of this loop ever happening starting from the next repetition. He gave a short explanation that he'd need to leave the guild and didn't want them to chase after him or even feel guilty for not stopping him. He said that he'd probably have to lie to make them let him go. Jellal promised he'd tell her later.

"Thanks, and now move."

Jellal didn't need to be told twice.

When Gray emerged from the bathroom, he didn't say anything for a long while. He just walked over to the bed and watched Jellal roughly fucking Natsu.

It was amazing how few sounds Jellal made during sex, while Natsu couldn't hold back gasps and moans. The handcuffs were getting on his nerves, if only because he desperately wished he could stroke himself. Gray did just that, Natsu could tell by the sound of skin moving along skin and the little hitches in Gray's breath.

"Slow down," Gray finally said when Jellal's movements grew erratic, giving away that he was very close.

Jellal's hips halted immediately. "Can't you bear the thought that I cum inside your cute boyfriend?"

"It's not that. It's rather hot watching you two. I just hoped you'd want to have some more fun with us."

"Don't worry about that. I already know what I want to do with you, and me filling up Natsu now is part of my plan. Please come closer. Let Natsu lick you while I fuck him."

Natsu let out a needy whine at Jellal's boldness. As Gray's cock brushed against his lips, the musky scent that flooded Natsu's nose made him dizzy with lust. He opened his mouth obediently just as Jellal resumed his movements.

They ended up spending the next few hours in or next to the bed, putting also the other pair of handcuffs to good use. Jellal was very creative in bed, and it turned out that he had perfect control over himself after his first release. All of them came several times, Jellal ahead of everyone with seven orgasms. After a particularly loud scream from Natsu, Happy knocked on the door to ask if he was okay. Instead of stopping and letting Natsu answer, Jellal made a game out of it. He kept Natsu on edge with his mouth and also ordered Gray to thrust into him slowly while Natsu tried his hardest to answer in a somewhat coherent way that he was all right. In the end, he came hard and noisily in Jellal's mouth while Happy was still on the other side of the door, thus losing Jellal's little game.

~~~

Everyone in the guild hall fell oddly quiet the moment Natsu stormed in. The sound of the bathroom door banging shut had never seemed quite as loud as this time.

Mirajane shifted nervously from one foot to the other. She'd been on edge ever since a folded paper suddenly appeared next to the sink at seven in the morning. What was written on it sounded incredible to her. However, it was her own handwriting, she couldn't remember writing it, and the date was indeed July 7th, as stated on the paper. When Jellal barged into the guild hall and dragged Gray along with him, exactly like the last time according to her entry, her doubts were gone. She tried following Jellal, but he asked her to stay in the guild hall and leave it to them, just like the last time. It had been the previous time, right? There were eleven tick marks and the title before the last entry stated 'Day 11'. Unless something happened to prevent her from writing altogether, this was the twelfth time Natsu was reliving the day.

She hastily put a twelfth tick mark on the bottom of the page and then skimmed through the text again. The last entry said that Natsu would be able to save Gray. Would the rewinds stop once Gray was saved? If yes, then why did Ultear turn back time again? Had Natsu's plan failed? She cursed herself for putting so little information. She could see the necessity of keeping it short due to limited space, but how was she supposed to help like this?

Lucy informed everybody of what was going on as soon as she arrived. She asked them to be tactful with both Gray and Natsu. While her information was far more detailed than Mirajane's, she couldn't say how many days had passed since she wrote it and thus didn't know if it was outdated. She obviously had missed new information since she didn't say anything about Tenrou Island. Mirajane kept quiet about it since her text said to keep it a secret.

The amount of Natsu kept it a secret or Natsu didn't explain in her text bothered her, but there was nothing she could do about it. Natsu clearly had an advantage over everybody else in the current situation, and if there was something he wanted to keep from them, then he could. The only way to smuggle information to the future, or rather, the timeline that would continue, was indeed to keep it a secret from Natsu.

Nobody beside her noticed Gray and Happy's arrival shortly after Natsu's. They were all too caught up in shooting worried looks at the bathroom door.

Natsu emerged not much later. Now that it wasn't the door anymore but he himself being on the receiving end of those looks, there was a nearly unbearable tension in the air. The guild hall had never been this quiet before, considering the number of people present.

Natsu looked like a picture of misery, standing in the doorway, all eyes on him. He cleared his throat.

"I know you have questions. I'll explain everything."

A murmur broke out and several people asked questions, but Natsu ignored them—he jumped on the bar right in front of Mirajane, nearly giving her a heart attack. The paper was folded, but if Natsu bent back just a little, he would see it. What would be less suspicious—pretending it was a recipe if he spotted it or trying to hide it? Given Natsu's sharp senses, the former was probably for the best, so she left it where it was and tried to calm her thrumming pulse.

Turned out she needn't have worried. He didn't pay her any heed throughout the whole explanation.

Mirajane wondered what they'd been doing all morning since Natsu explained everything from the beginning and Gray was surprised to learn about the situation they were in. He didn't take the message that he was probably going to die at the end of the day well.

Natsu didn't mention Tenrou Island at all; he just said that he knew how to solve the problem, but still needed time to prepare. Natsu held the diary up for everyone to see.

"For the preparation to be successful, I need everything back that has been ripped out of this diary."

Mirajane's heart skipped a beat. He'd said 'everything'. He didn't address only Lucy. Did he know?

Lucy cocked her head. "Huh? Why? Then we'll forget and you'll have to tell us everything again."

Mirajane heard Natsu gulp. "Yeah, well, then so be it. I need them back. Erza, you should also have a strip somewhere."

Oh. So did that mean he didn't know of Mirajane's ripped out page?

Erza narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Me? I don't think so. Where should it be?"

"Did you check your pockets already?" Natsu asked.

Erza got up from her bench and reached into her pockets. She shook her head. To prove that they were empty, she pulled the fabric out.

"Maybe in the pockets of another outfit?" Natsu suggested.

In the following minutes, Erza requipped into every single outfit and armor she possessed, searching everywhere a paper could possibly be. At the end, she even removed all clothes aside from her underwear, requesting Lucy with a deadpan expression to check whether there was a paper stuck somewhere in the back of her bra or panties. As far as Mirajane could tell, nearly everyone blushed, most of all Lucy. She yelled at Erza not to do weird stuff, but followed her request anyway, albeit with shaky hands.

Macao and Wakaba drooled all over the table, even after Erza got dressed again.

"It's not in any of my pockets. How big is that strip? It could be anywhere. Is it really that important? Finding it could take forever since I don't remember a thing."

Natsu clenched his hand into a fist. Mirajane wished she could see his face, but that would either mean calling attention to herself or moving away and leaving the paper unguarded.

"Well... it could be that you got rid of it. I only gave it to you because it startled Lucy to the point where she hit her head when she saw it sticking out of her pocket."

Natsu let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped.

"You could've hidden it somewhere. Now that I think of it, you never mentioned the paper after the day I entrusted it to you. It bears Gray's signature and he also put my name on it, so we'd be the first people you'd ask about it. Or not, if Lucy told you about it first. Who knows, you could even have handed it back to Lucy after you heard that she has the whole story written down on paper. After all, you wouldn't have remembered my request to keep it from her."

Natsu sank to his knees, then punched a fiery fist into the bar, breaking the wooden board. Not that it mattered to Mirajane—she was used to the destructiveness of her guild mates by now.

"Shit! I didn't think I'd need the paper back. You're right, it could be anywhere. Fuck!"

Natsu's voice was shaky, as if he was about to start crying any second. He had to be desperate.

Lucy jumped to her feet and held up her hands in a soothing gesture.

"I didn't notice something like that in the morning, but I'll go check now if I missed something, and if I find it, I'll bring it along with the text I wrote. I'm sure we'll find it."

Her tone was clipped, betraying her urgency to pacify Natsu. She was already up and away when she'd barely even finished talking, slamming the door behind her.

The tension that hung in the air after her departure was palpable. Nobody spoke for what felt like an eternity to her. Gray's face was blank, impassive, as if he wasn't noticing anything that happened around him anymore. It was understandable—Mirajane didn't know how she'd react to being told that she would die in a few hours and the preparations for her salvation weren't yet finalized.

She wanted nothing more than to break the silence, to do anything that would distract Natsu and Gray from their misery, but she was too scared that Natsu would turn and spot the paper. She had yet to decide her course of action. Somehow, it bugged her that Natsu seemingly didn't want to explain his demand to have the papers returned.

Was there something she hadn't written down but was important for her decision to either give the paper back or continue keeping it a secret? Something her past self hadn't deemed necessary? Had his behavior been suspicious? Had he given her a reason for distrust? Withholding information was already a good reason for distrust, but had there been something else?

Mirajane didn't notice that her level of anxiety had risen to a point where she'd started to get sweaty hands until Erza finally lifted the veil of silence: "What happens if Lucy doesn't find the paper you're talking about? Will it endanger Gray's life?"

Gray winced at that, if only just slightly. So despite his apathetic demeanor, he was paying attention.

Natsu's head dropped even lower. His answer was near inaudible.

"I'll explain after I've got the papers back."

Very suspicious, indeed. However, now that he promised to give an explanation, Mirajane decided to wait and see. If it turned out to be crucial for Gray's survival, she could always apologize and hand it over after he revealed the connection.

Neither Gray nor Natsu moved from their position for the next ten minutes or so. They both seemed to be lost in thoughts. Their friends shot them worried looks and talked about the current situation, but they didn't dare involving either of them in the conversation.

Somewhere along the line, Erza got up to rummage about her luggage, only to let out a surprised gasp not ten seconds later. She waved a small scrap of paper over her head as she headed towards the bar. Natsu inspected it for a second and then took it from her, thanking her calmly. There was not a trace of relief in his voice.

Something was off. It was understandable that Natsu wasn't happy about having seen Gray die many times, but he was supposedly close to rescuing him. At least that was what he'd said. Shouldn't he be... happier? A little more confident?

In her earlier explanation, Lucy mentioned that Natsu and Gray had cuddled in the guild, but at that time everybody had still been too shocked to ask further questions. It was quite obvious anyway. Their mutual feelings were as clear as day, at least to nearly everybody whose name wasn't Natsu or Gray.

Especially in the light of those feelings, it was only logical to assume that Natsu would be optimistic, now that the solution was close. Yet there he was, sitting on the broken bar counter, shoulders slumped, head hanging low, and, most importantly, not at Gray's side.

Mirajane shook her head. It was not as if she could fully understand the situation with such a huge chunk of information missing. There were so many things that didn't make sense to her, like the mention of Zeref and Tenrou Island in her notes. The entry of Day 10 also bothered her, since it ended with the words 'If I don't add anything after this, something must have gone terribly wrong.' Suppressing a sigh, she decided to just wait and see.

When Lucy barged into the guild hall thirty minutes later and slithered to a halt before Natsu, all eyes were on her. She handed two papers over to Natsu with a careful and apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't find that paper—"

"It's okay. Erza found it. It was in her luggage."

Mirajane had never heard Natsu's voice so devoid of any kind of emotion.

Lucy's eyes lit up in relief, but it was short-lived. Probably because Natsu didn't show any positive reaction.

Natsu let out a heavy sigh as he picked up Erza's paper. Mirajane expected him to stuff them into his diary, to try and fix it somehow. But he didn't reach out for his rucksack in which he'd tucked the diary. Lucy opened her mouth again, probably to ask what the next step was, when Natsu's hand lit up. The hand which was holding the papers. Or had been, because now there was only ash crumbling from his palm.

Various sounds of surprise echoed through the guild hall, loudest of all Lucy's shriek. She reached out to grasp the leftovers of what had been her source of information, eyes wide in disbelief.

Mirajane tried to steady her breathing, to calm her pounding heart, but it was no use. Luckily she wasn't the only one who was agitated, so it would hardly look suspicious even if Natsu noticed.

With a shaky voice, Lucy asked, "N-Natsu, what's the meaning—"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted, his voice fragile and shaky.

Mirajane caught the tremor of Natsu's shoulders and understood. Natsu was crying. A muffled sob confirmed her suspicion.

"I'm so sorry. I lied a-and... and I need to... do something... s-something... th-that..."

A series of heavy sobs shook his body and rendered him unable to speak. Mirajane itched to comfort him, but now she was even more conscious of the paper still lying out in the open. Natsu hadn't yet explained what exactly he'd lied about, so any risk was too high.

Thankfully, Lucy pulled him off the bar and into her arms.

Mirajane noted that Gray had gotten up from his seat but had stopped halfway to the bar, looking worried and unsure what to do. She averted her gaze as a stab of sympathy for the poor boys surged through her.

When Natsu was calm enough to speak again, he extricated himself from Lucy's arms and turned towards their friends, his shoulders hunched. His voice was sad and low, but due to the silence, it carried over to even the farthest edge of the guild hall.

"I'm sorry. I just... wanted to destroy all evidence. I don't want anyone to feel guilty afterwards."

So she'd been right to hide the paper after all. Natsu felt the need to hide something from them. He didn't think they'd take whatever he had to do well. He wanted to handle all the guilt alone. Mirajane felt her pulse quicken, but this time out of anger. What were friends for, if not for sharing such feelings, for supporting each other in difficult times? If Natsu didn't want to share voluntarily, she'd ensure that his friends stood by his side when he was having a hard time. And maybe have Erza or Gray beat some sense into him since that was evidently the only language he understood. But that could wait. For now she had to make sure Natsu didn't take the paper from her.

Gray finally broke the silence. "Guilty for what?"

Natsu shook his head. "In order to save you, I need to do something... something bad."

Gray lifted an eyebrow. "Bad like 'killing people'-bad or 'stealing or breaking something'-bad? Because you've never cared about breaking stuff before."

Natsu lowered his head and Mirajane caught a glimpse of tears dripping to the floor. "Do people's trust and hearts count as stuff?"

Gray gaped at him for several seconds. He took a tentative step forward, paused, swallowed, and then closed the distance between them with a few quick strides. Putting his hands on Natsu's shoulders, Gray tried to make him look up but failed.

"Natsu. What do you need to do? Break my heart to save me?"

Mirajane was surprised that Gray managed to keep his voice relatively calm.

Natsu finally lifted his head. Instead of answering, he leaned in and kissed Gray, his arms wrapping around Gray's torso to pull him closer. Nobody dared speak, not even Juvia.

They kept their kiss chaste and broke apart a few moments later.

Natsu took a deep breath and then said, "I have to break your heart along with mine. We can't see each other ever again after this. I have to leave the guild and never come back."

"No!"

It wasn't only Gray. It was the whole guild. Everyone had jumped up from their seats, taken at least one step towards Natsu and protested heavily. Mirajane could hardly make out anything they called since all the voices blended together.

The next minutes were total chaos. She was used to chaos in the guild, but this was on a whole other level. They weren't fighting with fists, but with words. They weren't fighting against Natsu, but for him. He was a part of their family.

Thinking of Natsu leaving the guild hurt. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Fairy Tail would be without him, without the prospect of him ever returning. Judging from Natsu's emotional breakdown, this seemed to be the only option he had.

She swallowed heavily as understanding sunk in.

'Probably the only one who can judge this situation correctly is him. If he's so sure that he doesn't have another option, then it must be true. He loves Gray. He loves us. He would never abandon us if there was even the slightest possibility of another way out.'

The sounds of her surroundings became strangely muted as reluctant acceptance turned into firm resolve.

'His heart is screaming, but he has to do this. He has to fulfill a mission that is bigger than himself. If I had to choose between Gray dying and Natsu leaving the guild, I'd pick the latter without hesitation. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way.'

She took in her surroundings. Natsu on the ground, crying. Their friends crowding him, some of them in tears, some angry. She knew they all meant well, but it wasn't helping, least of all Natsu.

Everyone was distracted, so she seized the opportunity to hide her note and then used a spell to enhance the volume of her voice.

"Natsu Dragneel," she said in the most formal tone she could muster.

Heads turned and noise died down, a few muffled sniffs suddenly being the only sounds that filled the air beside Mirajane's footsteps as she strode over to where Natsu was sitting.

"There are three rules which people who leave Fairy Tail must obey."

People scurried aside as she drew closer.

"One: You must never reveal sensitive information about Fairy Tail to others for as long as you live."

She stopped right in front of Natsu who was looking up at her with tears rapidly streaming down his face. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Two: You must never use former contacts met through your being in the guild for personal gain."

Some voices joined in as if it were a prayer.

"Three: Though our paths may have diverged, you must continue to live out your life with all your might, you must never consider your own life to be something insignificant, and you must never forget about your friends who loved you."

Natsu shook the offered hand without hesitation, and since she didn't like seeing him so broken on the floor, she used the moment to pull him to his feet. The momentum sent him stumbling right into her arms, where she held him tightly for a good minute until his sobs subsided.

The events of the next minutes were a blur to her with all the people hugging Natsu and bidding their farewells. It was surprising how easily they accepted his decision once she'd broken the first ground—with few exceptions.

When everyone gathered at the door and Natsu was about to leave, Mirajane noticed that Makarov was restraining a struggling Gray. Several others, including Laxus and Erza, never took their eyes off Gray for long. He didn't want to let Natsu go.

While waving Natsu goodbye, Mirajane mentally prepared for battle in case Gray managed to escape, but it turned out not to be necessary. The smaller Natsu's retreating figure grew, the less Gray struggled until he finally gave up. A few seconds before Natsu completely vanished out of sight, Gray shouted, "I swear, one day I will kick your ass for leaving us!"

Natsu stopped in his tracks only for a moment. He lifted his hand and resumed walking. When Mirajane recognized the gesture, she teared up. Pointer finger and thumb stretched, the others curled: No matter where you are or how far away you may be, I will always be watching over you.

Every single one of them copied the gesture even though Natsu was already gone. Master even let go of Gray, who went along with and didn't try to escape. They kept their hands raised for at least a minute longer.

~~~

"So it's true then?" Zeref asked as he emerged from behind a tree. He smelled strongly of fried chicken for whatever reason.

Natsu nodded. "Obviously."

"How long has it been since your last meal?"

Now that he mentioned it... Despite his inner turmoil, Natsu's stomach grumbled. He couldn't for the life of him remember when he'd eaten what was supposed to be 'yesterday'—when the world had still been all right and his biggest sorrow had been the train ride on the following day.

"I haven't eaten today at all."

Zeref sighed. "Past me was right after all." He retrieved a big plastic bag from his former hiding spot and tossed it over to Natsu. "Eat. You'll need it."

As Natsu gobbled the generous portion, Zeref stood a distance away and watched him, a smirk beginning to tug at his lips. "You've always been a good eater. I guess some things never change."

When Natsu was done eating, he burned the waste to ashes and then bumped his burning fist into his other palm, signaling that he was ready.

However, Zeref shook his head. "We still have half the day. My record says I haven't yet laid out our whole past. I think I should, considering what you're about to do."

Before Natsu could answer, Zeref produced a book from within his tunic. Three letters adorned its cover: E.N.D.

"This is the book of a demon, one just like Gray is about to become. A human demon. Did I tell you about this book yet?"

"Not about that one specifically, just that I'll need any book for it to work out."

Zeref's face was unreadable. "This is your book."

Natsu tilted his head in confusion. "No, it's yours, I've never seen it befo—"

"You are a demon, Natsu. The book your life is bound to is this one. The person you're bound to is me."

Natsu's stomach swooped. He didn't want to believe this man, but there was this odd feeling of something clicking into place.

"You are bound to me in the same way your lover will be bound to you if your plan succeeds."

Well, at least this explained why Zeref was so sure that a so-called human demon wasn't a wild beast. But then, didn't that mean...?

"So he'll also be bound to you then? If you die, then I die, and if I die, he dies, so the lives of the three of us will be connected, right?"

Zeref didn't waver. "Yes. If you succeed, then killing me will cause both yours and your lover's deaths."

Which was just perfect for Zeref, since it meant that Natsu would have to protect him with his life.

'This could all just be a big lie, a plot to keep himself safe. But does he even need to protect himself like this? He's supposed to be the mightiest mage that ever lived and immortal on top of that. Nobody should be able to kill him either way.'

"I understand that you may have doubts about my sincerity, but I can prove what I said. I wouldn't want to do it now since any harm done to this book and thus to you will endanger your learning process, but I can show you later."

Natsu nodded. Zeref was right—he'd find out soon enough. He pushed all questions and doubts resolutely aside and focused only on his training.

In the following hours, Zeref pushed Natsu to the verge of passing out countless times, and once Natsu really did pass out. Being nearly out of magic, even though the body was unhurt, was extremely painful. Entering Dragon Force when there was none of his friends to protect nearby was tricky at first, but Zeref taught him where to find and how to activate the magic of dragons. Natsu had a brief impression that he found something very familiar as he stretched his senses to the inside of his own body, but Zeref guided his attention elsewhere. Later, when Natsu tried to find it again, he wasn't able to. The option of awakening Natsu's demon powers also came up, but Zeref refused to show him. He said that it would be counterproductive without giving an explanation, not even when Natsu nagged him for it.

At around seven, Zeref decided that Natsu was as ready as he could be. When Natsu pressed him for proof, he pierced the book labeled E.N.D. with a ray of magic. The pain Natsu felt surging through his chest was proof enough of the connection between him and the book, and so he dropped the last doubt.

Zeref asked some questions about Natsu's plans for the next day and if there was something he'd need to take care of. Natsu roughly told him how he was going to go about things, and stressed that Zeref should best stay hidden from Gray, or at least hide his identity.

Zeref sat down to add another few paragraphs to his note while Natsu tested various things on the book of Etherious Natsu Dragneel to see how they would affect him. Folding the pages didn't inflict pain on him; it merely caused a slight uneasiness. Tearing them hurt, the level of pain increasing the bigger the rip became. He also tried writing onto an empty page. He noticed the subtle tingling this caused under his skin only when it subsided. Writing in an aggressive manner made his skin itch so badly that he was busy scratching himself for a solid minute.

Zeref wanted to test something too, so Natsu handed the slightly demolished book back. Natsu was baffled to see Zeref push the book to his chest and hug it close. Warmth encompassed him, and suddenly everything didn't seem as gloomy anymore. Even though Zeref said nothing at all, Natsu felt as if he spoke directly to his soul.

'It's going to be okay.' 'I'll always be here for you.' 'I will protect you.' 'You can rely on me.'

The sensation vanished at once. Natsu nearly protested, but then he heard the book hit the ground and saw Zeref crouch as a black sphere emerged from within his body. With practiced ease, Natsu got into safety and returned once the danger was over.

A glance at his watch told Natsu it was already eight, thus time for the day to end. Zeref seemed to understand, because he spoke up before Natsu had the chance to say anything.

"I will await the two of you somewhere in this forest on the next rewind. If you try to activate Dragon Force by yourself, you'll probably use up too much magic in the process, so you'd best find me before you try reviving him on your own."

"Yeah. I will."

'Thank you. For everything,' he wanted to say, but it was too late. A familiar dizziness subdued him, and in the next moment he was back in his bed again.

Mirajane’s Notes, Day 12:

According to what Natsu said today, the next repetition will be the one that breaks the cycle. Gray will be saved, but the price is Natsu leaving the guild forever. He has to do it, there's no other way to save Gray, according to him. He tried to dispose of all evidence of this time loop, but I managed to keep this paper secret. Lucy's notes are gone. My assessment of the situation is: don't interfere, alternative me. You might end up killing Gray if you do. I don't know everything about this situation but I trust Natsu and his decision. He will probably lie to the whole guild about his reason to leave. He's trying to make it easy for us. It's probably for the best to keep this paper a secret from everyone, especially from Gray. Maybe burn it once you've read it and are sure that you'll keep your memories.

A/N:

Inspiration is a bitch sometimes.

If anyone's interested: My life's become a lot better. Stepping back from my promise to update weekly helped with that, so I'm not going to bind myself to a fixed update scedule ever again, even if that means upsetting some of my readers. It's myself and my (physical and mental) health I have to think about first. I finally understand that now (knowing and really understanding are two completely different things).

That's why, as of late, I dislike being pressed for updates (honestly, don't do it).

However, I talked with another writer (who writes mostly for another fandom and is much more well-known than me) about writing, motivation, deadlines and such. She's juggling far more ongoing fics than I am. She said she's offering her readers to pay her for updates, almost like writing commissions, only that the content of what she'll write for the money she gets is entirely up to her. So, her readers are basically paying her to write faster. She says it's helping her a lot. It's boosting her motivation, knowing that there's a person who thinks her work is worthy of payment.

Since there's no harm in offering, I'll just do it: If there's somebody (or several people) out there who want to get updates on this fic so badly that they're willing to pay me for sitting down and writing, go ahead: Here's my Ko-Fi. For every coffee (3€, which is like a little over $3) I promise I'm gonna sit down and write for 30 minutes on the next chapter of Rewind within two days after receiving the donation. Keep in mind that paying doesn't mean you get to have a say in the story. I have the plot mostly figured out, there are only gonna be a few minor adjustments as I go.

Don't worry, I'll still write even if nobody donates. This is simply an offer, feel free to ignore. Once the chapter is finished it's possible that another week will pass until I can post it, since it needs to be edited by my betas. Don't worry that you'll overpay me or something if the chapter is already finished and somebody donates after that. I'll just use the 30 minutes per coffee for the following chapter in that case. And believe me, this fic is far from over.

Don't forget to leave a comment (or tags, I read those, too), these will also boost my motivation and they're free ;)

#Chiyalawritesrewind #mywriting #gratsu #ftfanfics #jegratsu #Jellal/Gray/Natsu #OT3 #nsfw

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