childfreedom

[childfreedom]

Having a child in the modern world is a decision that is often taken way too lightly.

When I was 21, I made the decision to have a surgical sterilization procedure. Many of my family members were distraught, as you might imagine, but I assured them that it wasn’t a decision I made casually, nor on a whim. I knew this could be life altering, I knew I was very young to be making this choice, and so I did a lot of research, self reflection, and talking it through with my emotional support network. I’d known since I was a teenager that I’d never want to be a mom, but until I began searching for the reasons behind that gut instinct, I hadn’t realized how mammoth a task it really was. Actually, at the time I had to write an essay about this same topic - just for my own sake - in order to grapple with all of the nuances that it came with. There are so many facets to consider when making the choice to be a mom, or to never be one. When doing my initial research, I started out with the practical debate method: figure out the other side’s reasoning. Subsequently, I decided to simply… talk to moms: my mom, my sister, co-workers, friends. New moms, experienced moms, moms who’ve lost their children. Surprisingly, what I found was that most of the time, they had never given much thought to the “why,” they had just done what came naturally. 

My own mom’s story I already knew, and it likely played a big role in my ultimate decision. Both my sister and I, born 10 years apart, were “oopsies.” My dad, to put it lightly, was not the greatest, and being tied to him in such an inextricable way was detrimental to her mental health, and affects her to this day. Hers might be the most tragic of the stories I heard. One coworker, a soccer mommy of three in the most Rae Dunn way, had pictures of her kiddos tacked all over her cubicle. I asked her straight up, “Why did you decide to be a mom?” She told me, “I don’t know, I guess we wanted something cute and cuddly to play with. Like a puppy that talks!” Originally, I had planned to ask more questions, but I quickly changed topics and cut the conversation short after that. I was absolutely dumbstruck at how somebody could be so casual and flippant about the choice to create human life!

The way I see the decision to become a mom, you should be so beyond sure of yourself. And I don’t mean in the, “I’m going to be Super-Octomom and do everything perfect” way. I mean in the, “I have all of the emotional, financial, and spiritual support that is needed to raise a loved, loving human being, without sacrificing myself to do so,” way. I feel that if people stopped and asked themselves hard questions about it, they might think twice. Questions like, “Am I prepared to raise a child with special needs?”, “If I were to suffer personal tragedy, could I continue to give my child the love and support they deserve?”, and “if I bring a child into this world, will they be able to flourish in our future?” It seems that many mothers, if they have the option to ponder their decision at all, shy away from this kind of self-reflection. When my sister announced her third pregnancy, I was aware that her family was already suffering financial hardships. They still live in my dad’s home, often unable to pay the mortgage. I felt so afraid for the future of my soon-to-be nephew, not to mention the well being of my two already-forlorn nieces. Imagine my shock and discomfort at learning that her pregnancy had been planned, and eagerly awaited! They had decided that my youngest niece (14 years her sister’s junior) needed a playmate. As if they are pets to entertain. I’ll refrain from digressing more here, as it’s so close to home, but I’m sure you’re understanding my point. The decision to become a mother is the decision to create a life. To make one half of this decision without any consideration for the consequences on the other is, frankly, selfish and irresponsible. 

While at first I was angry at these moms for their seemingly frivolous attitudes, I’ve realized they aren’t to blame. It is, of course, a matter of cultural and societal expectations. When women are placed in the “baby-makers” box, and this is the most natural process your body can go through, it’s reasonable to not give much thought to it. However, I believe we are evolving, intellectually, past the norms of the naturalistic world. Humans have the cognitive ability to have foresight, consider consequences, and make our own decisions. Modern women now also have medical and technological advancements that make the choice to reject society’s ideas of your future even easier. We are freer than we have ever been in this regard (well… at least we were two years ago.), and I hope that the moms who are simply taking the expected path begin to realize that they have infinite potential.

#words #childfree by choice

[childfreedom]

#reproductive rights #words

[childfreedom]

Having children is certainly one way to build a family, but having children is not the only way to build a family.

#childfree by choice #childfree #.txt

[childfreedom]

#reproductive rights #words

[childfreedom]

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Here's the thing, guys.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter when life begins.

It doesn't matter whether a fetus is a human being or not.

That entire argument is a red herring, a distraction, a subjective and unwinnable argument that could not matter less.

It doesn't matter whether we're talking about a fertilized egg, or a fetus, or a baby, or a five year old, or a Nobel Prize winning paediatric oncologist.

NOBODY has the right to use your body, against your will, even to save their life, or the life of another person.

That's it.

That's the argument.

You cannot be forced to donate blood, or marrow, or organs, even though thousands die every year, on waiting lists.

They cannot even harvest your organs after your death without your explicit, written, pre-mortem permission.

Denying women the right to abortion means we have less bodily autonomy than a corpse.

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#reproductive rights #words

[childfreedom]

There's a shocking amount of shame out there against single people who choose not to date single parents "just because" they have kids. Let me be hopefully not the first to say: if you don't want to be a parent, or if you already have kids and don't want any more, that is a completely fine reason not to date or marry someone. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but "parenting (more/these) children just isn't something I want in life" is SUCH a good reason not to pursue a long term relationship with someone.

"I don't want (more/these) kids, but I really like this person so I think we can make it work" - no. Stop. Don't. Kids know when they're not wanted because adults are astonishingly bad at hiding it. There are so many people in this world who would be happy to be stepparents. Let them do it and go live your life how you want.

And if you're a single parent and you're sad because having kids narrows your dating pool? Consider people's reactions to "I have children" to be a really easy way to determine whether they will fit into your life long-term or not. If they won't, why would you want to try to force them to?

#words #childfree by choice

[childfreedom]

reposting because original poster no longer exists

#childfree by choice #words

[childfreedom]

#childfree by choice #memes

[childfreedom]

how you gon be suicidal and have a baby. bitch you don’t even wanna be here.

#memes #words #antinatalism

[childfreedom]

#childfree by choice #memes

[childfreedom]

Ok! Back to more childfree lifestyle stuff 🤍

#.txt

[childfreedom]

Abortion is healthcare.

Abortion. Saves. Lives.

#words #reproductive rights

[childfreedom]

#appreciative of the links #reproductive rights #words

[childfreedom]

i see “consent to sex is consent to its consequences” as a common pro-life slogan, but that’s not a view they hold about things that aren’t sex.

consent to participate in extreme sports isn’t consent to dying in a horrible accident. participants know the risk, but they don’t agree that it’s acceptable. you’d never have to sign liability waivers otherwise—the outfitter does not want to get sued for an unacceptable outcome.

and pregnancy is only one possible result of sex. most people wouldn’t say “consent to sex is consent to STIs,” even though that’s just as much a part of the natural order as reproduction.

#‘don’t be a slut’ do you say the same to married couples who don’t want kids or people who can’t have kids too #just curious #or by recreational do you mean casual #bc recreational to my knowledge just means for fun or leisure or pleasure #whereas casual means more uncommitted #I mean my point still stands but language matters - and to absolutely nobody’s surprise. #reproductive rights #words

[childfreedom]

What a lot of people get wrong about the abortion debate is this- they want to argue "abortion is good/bad/ok but in whatever circumstances/etc".

But that isn't the question at all. The question is "is this the government's business?" And "are strangers entitled to make this choice for you?" "Legally, who gets final say on your pregnancy/medical choices?"

And regardless of how you feel about abortion, I can't imagine anyone wanting their govenor/senator/president getting to decide that.

#words #reproductive rights

[childfreedom]

#words #reproductive rights

[childfreedom]

#reproductive rights #words #memes